Red Flag
by MorningGlory2
Summary: Starts after 1x08. Not sure how I will continue...we'll see what people want ;) Tom/Rachel all the way. Pretty fluffy, some slowburn, etc. Some chapters are rated M, proceed with caution. COMPLETE (Will post a follow-up one-shot soon)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own The Last Ship, Tom, Rachel, Mike, etc. Kudos to the writers and producers for creating this show!

Mike just had to send her. He had to send her, and she just had to kiss him.

The shower felt good against his stiff muscles; he had a hard time relaxing these days. Rolling his neck, the kinks didn't seem to relent. He let the water spray his face.

Mike put her in danger. If they had lost her...

His mind wandered back to the kiss. How stupid, creating a red flag like that. She could have easily kissed Tex to pass on the message. No doubt, she knew he would know exactly what she was doing; Tex may not have caught on. But for a split second, maybe even two or three seconds, he'd questioned her motives. The way she'd thrown herself into his lips, the heat she radiated, the look on her face when she saw him. Confusion was definitely something he felt right now. And bringing up the kiss didn't seem like a good idea, at all.

* * *

She paced the small area of her stateroom, running her fingers through her wet hair. She had a tough time calming down these days, sleep was hard to come by. Especially now.

She hadn't meant to kiss him for so long. She hadn't meant to run at him the way she had, but the adrenalin, the fear coursing through her veins, the fact she wasn't sure she'd survive, all those things had something to do with it. It was meant to be quick. But once her lips hit his, well...stepping back hadn't been as easy as she'd thought it would be.

The feeling of his strong back under her fingertips...she needed to focus, more work was to be done. She needed to sleep. She checked her watch, knew it was the middle of the day. Having been up for several hours however, after all the excitement, she wanted to be tired, needed to be tired. But exhaustion was the last thing she felt.

A knock sounded at her door, and she stopped abruptly, unable to step forward for a moment. She knew who it was on the other side.

Taking a ragged breath, she moved to the door, pulling it open.


	2. Chapter 2

A knock sounded at her door, and she stopped abruptly, unable to step forward for a moment. Taking a ragged breath, she moved to the door, pulling it open.

He stood outside her door, re-dressed in his customary Navy fatigues, his wounds cleaned, his greyish blonde hair neatly combed, hands clasped behind his back. She met his eyes briefly before looking away. She didn't have much to say. She stepped aside and allowed him entry.

He pushed the door shut a bit behind him, not all the way, but enough to make it more of a private conversation. She wrapped her arms around herself in defense. Per their last conversation about her trip off the ship uninvited, she knew she was most likely in for a reprimand, not to mention her actions on board the ship. She swallowed, glancing up at him. She noted the way his skin was still red from the sun after being at sea, the way it actually complimented his features. She begged her mind to think of anything else.

"You created the vaccine?" He watched her fidget, staying calm and reserved on purpose. She often got worked up in a way he never did. She paced a bit, a small smile breaking across her pretty mouth.

"Yes, I was able to make a vaccine, though I haven't successfully tried it on a human yet," she replied, catching his eye again. She noted the way he watched her calmly, hands still behind his back, shoulders broad and squared. He was every bit the captain he held the title of.

"That's the next step, I imagine," he spoke quietly, as she continued to pace in her small area. She nodded.

"Yes," her voice was small, he could sense her apprehension.

"You didn't leave anything you needed on that ship, right?" He needed to make sure. She shook her head. "Good. Now, you need to get some rest before you do anything else. Have you eaten?"

"No, I'm not really much for eating after killing people," her remark was dark, and she chuckled a little to add light to it. He cocked his head to the side and studied her.

"You did what you had to do. Don't question your actions," She looked up again and caught his eyes. Was he talking about killing the Russian or the kiss, she questioned for a brief moment. She pushed the thought away. "You need to rest then. You have a lot of work ahead of you," his soft encouragement was appreciated, but she was too wound up to rest.

"With all do respect, Captain Chandler, I can take care of myself. Haven't I proven that more than once in the last 24 hours?" She could have swore a smirk crossed his face, but it was gone before she was sure.

"Dr. Scott, if I recall, I told you not to take yourself off the ship again without my consent. It's my job to protect you, keep you doing what you need to do to save the world," his words were said so casually, but she knew the depth he spoke of, "I'm going to tell you once more, don't do it again. Now get some rest." His words were crystal clear, as she clenched her jaw, throwing a glare in his direction. He turned for the door, and she stopped pacing then, aggravated for reasons she couldn't verbally or consciously describe.

"Not so much as a thank you, huh?" The words were out of her mouth before she could rein them back in. He stopped, as she stared into his broad back. He slowly turned, as she stood defiantly with her hands on her hips. She had a point, he realized. He admired her sass, her straightness with him. He dropped his head in acknowledgment, his long strides bringing him close to her within moments. She could smell the standard issued soap mixed with some sort of masculine scent, found herself sucking in her breath quicker than she'd intended. He was all man, all commanding, and being so close to him hadn't seemed so unnerving until now. She searched his handsome face, standing her ground. He kept his hands behind his back, the force drawing him to her formidable, and willing him to ask her why him, why kiss him and not Tex? Was she even interested in Tex? And why did he even care to think these thoughts? He set his jaw, and she watched the muscles clench.

"My apologies. Thank you for coming to our rescue. Mike shouldn't have sent you, but I..we appreciate what you did. You were very brave," He spoke softly, but professionally, searching her eyes. He could feel the heat radiating from her once more, wanted to know all the whys. He bowed his head for a moment, taking in the scent of vanilla that engulfed him from what he suspected was soap or lotion. He swallowed. She hung on his every word, and she shunned herself for it. She could almost feel the front of his fatigues against her button down, they were standing close, almost too close. She raised her head as he spoke suddenly, and rather gruffly, "Now, get some rest. That's an order."

She scoffed at his words, "Last I checked you couldn't order me around, Captain Chandler," again came another defiant remark from her. She was strong-willed, he'd give her that. He raised an eyebrow and this time the smirk stayed on his lips.

"Try me, Dr. Scott," He taunted, with a last look, before turning and leaving her state room. She wasn't sure if she was more frustrated or if she felt better about everything. Either way, the scent of him lingered in her room, and as she collapsed on her small bed, she couldn't help but wonder what kind of rest he was getting, and if he carried the same wonders she did. Why had she kissed him? What good had that done anyone?


	3. Chapter 3

Mike entered the officer's lounge and found Tom alone, nursing a cup of coffee in silence. He stood for a moment, until Tom nodded his head and Mike was free to enter. He grabbed a mug for himself, along with the pot and poured himself a steaming cup. He settled down a few seats away from Tom, watching him watch his still coffee.

Mike knew Tom wasn't thrilled that he had gone into rescue mission mode despite Tom's request to be left out in the ocean. If there was one thing Mike believed, and he knew Tom believed it too, it was 'no man left behind'. Especially their captain, Mike had decided. He wasn't going to carry that with him the rest of his days, the fact he didn't go back for Tom, his captain, and very close friend.

Mike cleared his throat, deciding that a little humor never did any harm, "Hey, a rumor's going around the ship," he began, eying Tom with a mischievous look. Tom snorted a little, his mouth forming a small semi smile.

"Oh yeah? What rumor is that?" He looked up from the brown liquid in faux anticipation-he knew what rumor Mike was referring to.

"It's pretty entertaining really," he chuckled, "Word on the deck is Dr. Scott kissed you to pass on the message we needed you to get," Chandler's eyes flickered at Slattery, an eyebrow raised. Mike wasn't sure if he found amusement or annoyance on the captain's face.

"Rumor, huh? How can something be a rumor when it's true?" This time he caught Slattery's eyes. Mike knew what something like that carried for Tom. He was a happily married man, with a beautiful wife and two sweet children. Kissing someone, even for life-saving purposes, was not something an honorable man such as Commander Thomas Chandler took lightly.

"She really kissed you? And managed not to cut you in the process?" Mike was impressed with Rachel's ability to think on her feet.

"Yeah. She came right at me from across the room. Honestly, I myself was quite shocked to see her. I didn't think for a minute you'd actually give her right to Ruskov."

"She insisted. She felt she was the best move we had. I couldn't really argue with her," Mike was dedicated in his decision. He did what he had to do to save his captain.

"I told you to leave us, how much more clear could I have made it? I especially wouldn't want you to endanger Dr. Scott."

Mike dropped his head, nodding. "Understood, sir." He replied; there was no arguing with Chandler. Resigned, he sipped the drink in silence. After a few beats, he spoke, again trying to lighten to mood.

"She really kissed you? Like straight kissed you?"

Tom nodded ruefully, "Yeah," he replied with a chuckle, "Tex nearly had a meltdown over it." This made Mike laugh.

"Why, is he interested in her, too?" Tom looked straight at Mike, eying him carefully.

"Too?" he echoed. Mike laughed, shaking his head.

"Several men onboard find her attractive, it's not a secret," he took a sip of his coffee as Tom laughed, shaking his head.

"I guess it's just information I choose to overlook," He finished the drink and stood, making his way to the sink. "Who do you think let the cat out of the bag?" Tom inquired, glancing back at Slattery, who shrugged.

"I'm not sure. My guess is Tex, or possibly Lt. Green. Either way, it does make for a good story," he chuckled again, taking another sip. Tom dried his mug, turning to face Slattery.

"I'm not sure how funny my wife would find it," he tried to grin, but found it heavy and knew it didn't meet his eyes. He'd be lying to himself if he tried to say he didn't think about the kiss, didn't think about the repercussions, didn't think about her. But he loved Darien, would never do anything to hurt her. The feeling of her lips on his though...maybe it had just been too long, and he was in need of human interaction in only a way a woman can provide. He was an loyal man, to a fault, had never strayed on his wife. But sometimes he felt something for Rachel, maybe more than he'd like to admit to himself, let alone out loud.

* * *

**_What do you guys think? I wanted to write this scene because I think it's important we understand how honorable and loyal Tom is to his family. HOWEVER it's clear he has feelings of some sort for Rachel and vice versa. I really think Darien will not survive on the show, and Tom will be left with the kids. That's where I'm going with this story. Not that I wish death on the wife, obviously, but it's my prediction on the show and that's the direction I'm going. Obviously is she doesn't die, this story will become AU. We'll just have to see what happens. With two more episodes left, I am pretty sure we'll know what happens soon. And judging by the promo for next week, I think we may get more Tom/Rachel in the future. *fingers crossed*_**

**_Thank you for all of your AMAZING reviews! Seriously! 30 reviews?! You guys are amazing! _**

**_I know these chapters aren't very long, but I am still getting my footing with these characters. I would think they'd grow a little as I continue getting to know them. _**

**_Again, reviews are GREATLY appreciated. Thank you! XOXO_**


	4. Chapter 4

_SO excited for tonight's episode! Here's a little something to carry you over until then. Here's to hoping they talk about the kiss...*fingers crossed* (let's be serious, we know they won't. But a girl can wish right?!)_

* * *

She entered the ship's gym quietly. It was the middle of the night, a few nights after their grand escape from the Russians. She'd been working around the clock to secure and test the vaccine; she felt she needed a mental break, some time to run out her frustration.

She hadn't expected to find the gym occupied.

Shirtless, and clearly lost in his own world, the captain was having a push up contest with himself. She slowed her walk, as to not to disturb him, she told herself, but also to admire what she saw. The muscles that rippled under his skin all along his back, the way his arms bulged with every upward motion. He didn't stop, didn't rest, occasionally grunted from exertion. She tried to keep count, and when she reached twenty, she stopped; she knew he'd been at this a while, judging by the gleam of sweat off his back and arms. Not facing her, he didn't know she was there until she finally made her move to the treadmill, climbing on and pressing the 'start' button.

He glanced up and saw her reflection in the mirror before him. She immediately glanced down to avoid his eyes, and he looked back down as well, continuing working off his steam. Every day that went by that he didn't hear from his family, that his crew didn't hear from their families, was one more day he stopped, at least for a moment, to make sure he'd made the right decision.

And then occasionally he thought about her. He prided himself at remaining stoic with her most of the time, trying to keep her at arms length, but the truth was that he'd grown fond of her over the time they'd been working together, since the Arctic. It had been easier when she had just been down in the helo bay, minding her own business. Now she was very much a part of their every day lives on board the ship, and he hadn't anticipated feeling a sense of camaraderie with her, or the constant need to check on her and protect her. These were lines he knew how to draw, had always drawn. But now, all the lines seemed to be blurring.

He gritted his teeth, and finished his push ups, before standing, sucking in air at a rapid pace, sweat pouring from his brow. He'd run five miles before that, and now headed for the dumbbell rack. Daily workouts were not something he was able to enjoy, so he had to sneak it in when he could. And when he couldn't sleep, it was his best option.

He chanced a look at her on the treadmill. He nodded his head in acknowledgment, she offered a tight smile back. She ran at a good clip, he noticed. He also noticed the way her hair was tightly braided and bounced as she ran, a few pieces escaping to frame her pretty face. She ran hard and fast, and he noticed the way she seemed to favor the self-punishment as he did. She was a petite thing, and in the tank top and running tights, he could see much of her frame, to his delight or dismay, he wasn't sure. He tore his eyes away and picked up two heavy dumbbells, making his way to sit on the bench for a few sets of bicep curls.

She had tried not to watch him watch her, but it was definitely not an easy task. As he turned away, she admired the thick, strong man before her, the visible muscles in his back, the broadness of his shoulders. He was not young anymore, she guessed early-mid forties, judging by rank and graying hair. He was thick through his midsection; he was no a small, weak man. He had the strength and stature to command the respect he deserved, and a kindness that always hid right behind his eyes. He was a hard one to read, she had decided. They hadn't talked directly about the kiss, but it definitely was between them, in the air.

She admired the way the Navy-issued sweatpants sat right at his hips. She suspected if it were not the middle of the night, he'd be properly dressed. She assumed he hadn't thought anyone would find him down hear after midnight. She realized she was staring and quickly cut her eyes away, staring down at the console of the treadmill.

Tom didn't know what to do. Watching her run out of the corner of his eyes, the sweat glistening on her brow and shoulders, her ragged breathing, his peaceful nighttime workout had now welcomed a distraction. He was a man, just like any other man, and he admired women, knew when he found one attractive, knew what he liked. That didn't mean he laid a hand on anyone. He was married, as Tex had so kindly reminded him the other night after she had lunged for his face. But right now, as she ran her heart out, he couldn't take his eyes off her.

He went for the heavier weight for a set of hammer curls, trying desperately to distract himself from looking at her. He wondered how long she would run, how many miles he could put down. He wondered whether he should go, separate himself. But he kept lifting the heavy weight, grunting occasionally, trying so hard to stay on task.

He continued his workout, and she kept running, each one chancing glances at the other occasionally, trying not be get caught. Rachel ran until her legs began to shake and slowed to a walk, checking her time. She generally didn't run for distance, and she ran until she felt tired, until the tension left her shoulders. She watched him pick up his towel and shirt as she stopped the treadmill, as he chugged water from his water bottle.

She wiped off the machine, they both finished their duties in silence, as Tom re-racked his weights. He slid his USS Nathan James t-shirt back over his sweaty upperbody, and she noted it was similar, if not the same shirt she'd worn when they'd kissed. Her breathing hitched more than it already was from her run.

"How many miles you do?" He inquired, his voice raspy.

"Four," she replied confidently. She was proud of her distance this evening. He nodded, impressed.

"They must be what-eight to ten minute miles?" He asked, tossing her a dry towel. She welcomed it, pressing it against her sweaty face. She felt like she must look like a mess.

"Roughly. I try to stay around nine. It's a solid pace for me." She stepped closer to him, was surprised when he didn't step back. He thought about it, felt the pull that carried him closer to her, but resisted.

"I'm going to take a shower and try to sleep; I need to be back on the bridge in a few hours. You should get some rest too.." He gestured for her to head toward the door, and she moved in front of him, walking that direction. He walked behind her, cursing himself for checking her out from behind.

"Always worrying about me, captain," She replied with a small laugh, throwing her head back to catch his eye. She found that kindness again, and a small smile.

"It's becoming a habit," he responded, before wishing he could take the words back. It was true, it was a habit these days, but she didn't need to know that. She grinned a little broader and he noticed the blush that spread across her cheeks. It complimented her.

"I appreciate your concern, captain, but I promise I sleep. It's just in small increments." He gave her a dubious look, and as she stepped over the doorway, she glanced back at him with a grin, and tripped with her other foot. Tom grabbed her arm quickly to steady her, pulling her back into his chest a little too strong. She collided with his sweaty chest and caught her breath.

"Careful there," he gently cautioned, his voice soft and low. She dropped her head in embarrassment, with a small laugh. When she looked back up at him, for a long moment they stood, searching each other's face. She was definitely in over her head; he was definitely in over his. Something about this woman drove his senses crazy; she could feel more of him against her than she needed too, knew it wouldn't help her rest very much. She caught him look from her lips to her eyes, and she did the same, before he realized they were treading dangerous waters.

"My legs are a little weak," she replied. She didn't specify from what. Something about being against his hard chest, his hand clasped around her bicep, made her knees shake. She steadied herself and he reluctantly let go, allowing her space.

"Well be careful on your way back to your room, you probably have ten more of those," again, with that chuckle, she wanted to tell him to stop being so captivating. She dropped her head again, and he noticed the way her hair fell loose from her braid, accentuating her face.

"Good night," she offered, turning and heading toward her stateroom. She wanted to run, to distance herself from everything that was the handsome man behind her. Instead, she walked calmly away, could feel his eyes on her back.

Tom watched her go, offering a return 'good night'. Every day seemed to be harder to be around her. He was having a hard time not envisioning her, she was captivating him.

* * *

_Thank you all again for the incredible reviews! I am so appreciative! You guys rock! The more you review, the more I know you want me to continue._

_Also, one guest reviewed and said that Tex wouldn't spread a rumor..I agree. I chose that word to provide humor, and I do think it makes for a good escape story, kissing the captain to get a message to him. I apologize for offending anyone-I LOVE Tex! But I do think Rachel is all in for the Captain..who isn't?!_

_Thank you again for the reviews! Keep 'em coming! :)_


	5. Chapter 5

He pulled her into his chest, tried to hold back his tears. He could feel her sniffling against his broad shoulder, where she was nestled tightly in his arms. He squeezed her tighter, holding her firmer against him. He was so incredibly proud of her for all she'd done, against so many odds. Yes, he had faltered in his belief that she could achieve her goal at some point along the way, which would then become his mission above all else. But she'd done that and so much more.

A stifled sob escaped her lips, and he nestled his head against hers, breathing in her familiar scent, drawing her as close as he could get her. He wasn't sure when it had become so familiar, but he suddenly realized it was. He craved it, in some way. It was a source of comfort during these trying days.

He noticed the softness of her hair. He'd never been quite this close to her before. Yeah, they'd kissed just days ago, but this was different. This was an _embrace_. He held her, took comfort in her arms. They'd been through so much together in so little time. What felt like an eternity wasn't more than a mere few months. And he would do _anything_ for her now, whatever she asked, he would do before even thinking twice.

She leaned into him, gripping his back as if it were her life line. She was so tired, but so relieved. It has worked, they'd done it! Her mind couldn't grasp the true meaning that all of this entailed, and she tried to hold a back a sob. Tears streamed down her face, but she wasn't sad. She was….happy.

He wrapped his arms even tighter around her, and she felt she was close enough to crawl under his skin. She was buried against his chest and shoulder. She felt incredibly safe, comforted. She knew he felt the same joy she found in her heart.

There was something about the feeling of his arms around her. She could stay like this for an eternity. This man she'd bumped heads with, this man she'd begged to trust her, this man who had protected her above all else, was an ally unlike any ally she'd ever had. They had their moments along the way, but at the end of the day, _this day_, they were a team. They'd come all this way, achieved all this _together_.

She could smell his after shave still; feel his breath on her neck where he nestled further into her when she let out another soft cry. This hug, this embrace, meant more to her than she could express. She could feel the head radiating off of him, feel the strong muscles of his back under her small fingers, feel very bit of the front of his body against hers. He rocked them gently, comforting her in her fatigue and tears of relief.

"Hey," he whispers against her ear, his voice full of emotion and rasp. It gives her chills. "You okay?" He asks, concern evident in his voice. She nods against him, not trusting her voice. There's so much rushing through her head, and yet she just wants everything to slow down, enjoy this moment, their victory, this feeling. She rubs his back slightly, gripping him tighter.

His arms are wound snug around her and he can feel her relax into him. He holds her for a while, swaying her. She needs this moment, they both do.

* * *

Thank you all for your incredible reviews. I didn't have much time today, but I wanted to post something. I hope you enjoy it. Please, leave a line if you do :)

Thanks for reading! (and shipping Tom and Rachel!)


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Rachel," the word rolled off his tongue in a way she'd never heard anyone say it before. Not to mention she'd never heard him say it before, and it sounded as though he'd always been meant to say it. The last five or so months he had always called her Dr. Scott, no matter what their conversation. Until today. This moment. He called her by her first name. They were no longer acquaintances, they were friends, on some level, she was sure. Though the way her heart skipped when she heard her name on his lips, she knew there was more to it on her end than that.

The look in his eyes stopped her further. It was soft, kind. Much the same look he'd given her before he'd hugged her, but deeper. She could see respect, pride, and something else deep within his ocean blue orbs. She searched his face, trying to decipher what he was asking for, what he was trying to say, knowing it was more than the words falling from his lips.

"You did it. Let's enjoy the moment," a small smile was upon his lips, in his eyes. He was in awe of the woman before him, all she'd accomplished. She'd had plenty of bumps along the way, but somehow she'd managed to achieve the ultimate goal. He was happy, very happy. And as she stood before him, about to make him immune to the horrific virus ravaging the real world, their little bubble was their little bubble. This moment was theirs.

She looked so relieved, so pretty in the light of his quarters. It was not often they were eye to eye, he towered over her so often. But now, as she stood in front of him, at his level, he was having a hard time keeping his eyes off of her, keeping his hands to himself. He wanted to hold her again, wanted to gather her up and bestow so much of the pride and joy he felt for her upon her. He was so proud, so relieved, so..happy.

He pulled up his shirt sleeve instead, and she faltered for a moment, his broad, bare shoulder ready for her injection. The light caught his wedding band for a moment, and she silently reminded herself somewhere in the back of her mind that this man had a family he had to find, wouldn't rest until he found. But when she caught his eyes again, that thought left her, and she focused on those blue eyes, and the task at hand. She grinned despite herself, knowing this was a poignant moment for them. He held stoic as she poked the needle into his strong shoulder, making him immune. She locked eyes with him again as she pulled the needle out, before he pulled his sleeve down. He ran his fingers over the now soft spot, and she ran her fingers over his before she could stop herself, meaning to rub the spot she'd just injected. Their skin connected and she could feel her stomach tighten at the feeling of his hand under hers. They kept their eye contact for a long moment, as he sat before her, both of them silent.

He watched her, tried to read behind her dark eyes, tried to keep himself from pulling her in. Instead he grasped the hand that had just touched his, holding it tightly. He saw the questioning that crossed her features, but he simply held her small hand in his much larger one, pulling it down and reaching with this other hand to grasp her hand with both of his. He could feel her wrap her fingers around his. They had found this warmth in one another he would have never anticipated, never expected.

She held her breath, unsure of what he was doing. He made her heart flip flop in her chest, as she got lost in the abyss that was his eyes. She gripped his hand, didn't want him to ever let it go. His eyes spoke volumes to her, in so many ways. He took a breath and she held hers longer, waiting for him to speak.

"Rachel, I-" a knock sounded at his stateroom door and she jumped, pulling her hand away quickly, her cheeks flaming red. Tom closed his eyes, annoyed at the failed timing. He cleared his throat, standing to open the door. She busied herself cleaning up her things, and on his way by her backside, he leaned down to her ear, his breath warm on her soft skin, his large chest barely touching her back. His hand rested gently right above her hip.

"We'll talk later," he whispered, and she nodded quickly, picking up her little bag. She couldn't imagine what he'd been about to say, surely it was innocent. Tom pulled open the door, to find Mike standing outside. Rachel came around from behind Tom, nodding her greeting to Mike before sliding by the two large men, and making her way down the narrow corridor. Mike watched her go, but when he turned back to Tom, his captain was already talking business.

* * *

_Just a lil' something for y'all :) Hope you enjoyed it! _

_Don't worry, the next one will be longer and will take up after the finale. _

_Thank you SO SO much for the incredible reviews. Remember, the smallest line means so much, please leave something when you read, on anything you read. Reviews mean so much to us writers, and we want to know you're enjoying where we're taking our stories. Thank you for your reviews, past, present, and future._

_Can't believe we have to wait nine months for more Tom &amp; Rachel. At least we have fanfiction :D _


	7. Chapter 7

He'd been ignoring the wound since he'd received it, but now, with his ship back under his command, and his crew back on board, the pain was suddenly slicing through his gut like a knife. Slattery noticed the way his face was suddenly a few shades paler than moments ago, and he moved to his friend.

"Tom, sit. You don't look so good," he gave the captain a wry smile, though the concern lines are evident across his XO's face. Tom shook him off, though his eyes don't reach Mike's.

"Not until Burk and Green are back on the ship with my kids," his voice was firm as he grabbed his binoculars, looking out into the harbor. They'd sent a boat with the two very capable sailors to bring his family on board from their hiding place. Every moment that passed was agony waiting to make sure they were all right. They'd left the radio, and he'd communicated with them recently, but he wouldn't rest, or seek medical attention, until he had his babies in his arms.

* * *

Rachel was securing her things down in the helo bay, making sure nothing was missing that she desperately needed. She could make due with some of her things getting lost in the fire fight between the Nathan James crew and the Maryland state police, and what she'd lost in the lab on land, but there were certain things she couldn't get by without. Not now that they needed to mass produce this vaccine and cure on the ship.

She heard yelling outside the main door, and stepped through the hatch to find an older gentleman, very pale, being helped onto the ship. She made her way closer to help, Rios also finding his way on to the flight deck. They walked quickly shoulder to shoulder most of the way, neither speaking. For a moment, Rachel wasn't sure who the man was, but then a young girl was helped on and she knew. This was Tom's family. When Tex had rescued her and Alicia, along with the supposed warlords who were actually anything but, he'd told her Tom had found his family. She'd expected him to be her rescue, wanted and prayed for him even, but when Tex had told her that, she'd known her place. A little boy was followed by Danny up on to the deck, followed by Burk. They pulled the ladder up as she reached the group, and she looked around, confused. _Where was his wife? _

"Daddy!" The little girl shouted, tears evident in her terrified voice, as Tom came rushing across the deck behind them. Both children ran for their father, who embraced them half way, dropping to his knees.

The world was forgotten as he held his children in his arms, both crying, their long ordeal finally over, exhausted and relieved. He could feel his throat tighten, the prickle of unshed tears against his eyes. _She_ should be here, _she _should be in his arms too. The last time he'd hugged his children on this deck, she'd been here. And now she wasn't. The pain was more than he could bare.

But his babies were safe. And he was overjoyed at that.

Ashley stepped back suddenly, tears still pouring down her cheeks, her eyes wide with terror. "Daddy, you're bleeding," her voice was full of fear, and Tom looked from her eyes, to his shoulder, and finally took full note of the full sleeve of blood he wore. Sam immediately began to cry harder, as Tom tried to sooth both kids. The pain was somewhat unreal, but he wasn't sure if it was the emotional pain or the pain from the wound. It became harder to tell the difference. "Dad, you need help," as the words came from her, he was overwhelmed. She was so much her mother's daughter.

"I'm okay, baby, it's just a cut," He pulled them tighter to him, but could feel the pain more than ever. He stood as Mike reached his side, and when he looked at his friend, Mike knew just what to do. "Go with Mike for now, okay guys? I'll be right in to meet you. He's going to get you in some clean clothes," He turned to Mike, leaning toward his ear, "Take them to my cabin and let's get the hell out of here," his words were shaky, but Mike nodded immediately.

"Yes, sir, already done. They're pulling up the anchor now," he assured his captain, his friend. He reached for the kids, "Come on, guys, let's get you settled," Sam took Mike's hand, but Ashley balked. She held on to her father's unwounded arm tightly.

"Daddy, I'm not leaving you," she wore the fear of losing her father; she'd just lost her mother. Jed stepped up to her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Come with us, Ash, your father will be just fine," he reassured her. Tom touched her face with his other hand, dried blood along his fingers.

"Go with Grandpa, Ashley, I'll be right along. Don't worry, I'm okay," He gave her the best smile he could muster and she reluctantly released his arm.

"You promise?" Tears streamed down her cheeks, and the words shattered his heart. He nodded, pulling her close one more time. She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly.

"I promise," his voice was choked up as he squeezed her with his good arm. He kissed the top of her head and released her to his father, who caught his eyes. "Thanks, Dad," he whispered as he moved past him. Jed nodded solemnly, following Mike and Sam up the deck. Tom squared his shoulders and waited until the children were out of sight, before he grabbed his arm, in excruciating pain, his shoulders dropping, turning to look at Dr. Rios and Rachel. Both were at his side in an instant.

"Captain, we need to get you down to medical, immediately." The captain pulled off his fatigues jacket, and sucked in his breathe as the doctor inspected the gunshot wound. Blood gushed from the wound when provoked, and the captain said some choice words under his breathe. Rachel stood on his opposite side, holding him steady by his other shoulder. He blinked rapidly, the blood loss finally taking hold of his brain. He faltered, but Danny moved in before he fell on Rachel, sliding under his arm and holding his captain upright. Rios began toward the door to the inside of the ship, Danny helping Tom make it to the door, Rachel scurrying behind them. Her concern was on the man in front of her, her heart in her throat. He was very pale and had lost a lot of blood.

"Rachel," he called out for her, stopping, and she was a bit surprised by his use of her first name once more. It seemed like millenniums ago since they'd had that moment in his cabin. How had all this happened? She moved up next to him immediately. He grabbed her upper arm, bringing her to face him. His eyes were desperate, and his face was riddled with pain. She sucked in a breath. It was difficult to see this strong, powerful man hurting so much. "Please go tend to my children. I gave them the cure, but please make sure my family is going to be okay," his words were pleading, his eyes bearing into hers. She nodded emphatically.

"Of course," He squeezed her arm.

"Thank you," he took a deep breath, as if relieved, their eyes locking for a moment, that strength and electricity still between them somehow, before letting Danny pull him off toward the sick bay. She watched him go for a moment, before rushing off to the helo bay for her things and heading up to the captain's cabin.

* * *

Rachel knocked softly, waiting for someone to answer the door to his cabin. When it was pulled open, Tom's father stood on the other side, looking pale, tired, and sick. Rachel offered him a warm smile, extending her hand.

"Mr. Chandler, I'm Dr. Rachel Scott. I'm here to check on you and the children," he took her hand, shook her hand, offering a small smile in return.

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Scott. He stepped out toward her for a moment, shutting the door just slightly behind him. "How's my son?" his voice was full of concern, and Rachel pursed her lips.

"I'm not yet sure, they were just getting him to sick bay, but I will check on him as soon as I'm finished with you and the children," She gave him a confident smile, and he nodded his thank you before letting her into the cabin. Sam was laying on his father's bed, as Ashley sat on the couch, wringing her hands nervously. The children were clearly dressed in their father's clothing, the sweatshirts and sweatpants very large on their small frames. Jed wore a pair of Navy issued sweatpants and sweatshirt, she could tell they had come from the ship's supply room. She set down her bag, turning to Ashley and Sam, who now sat beside his big sister. She stepped forward, extending her hand with a smile.

"I'm Dr. Scott. I'm going to make sure you are healing just fine, okay?" Both children shook her hand, and then she grabbed her stethoscope and moved to sit beside Sam. Both children sat quietly as she listened to their hearts and breathing, feeling their pulse rates. Her blood pressure cuff wasn't pediatric size unfortunately, but she made due with her skills. Both children were in relatively good shape, their color was returning, and their blisters were receding. Jed was healing just as well. From what Jed had said about when they received the shots, it had been a little over twenty-four hours, so they should be right on track to getting back to 100%. They didn't talk much, the children looked exhausted and Jed was resigned to sit in Tom's desk chair, pensive and lost in thought. She couldn't imagine what they'd all been through. And if that fact his wife wasn't here meant she had passed, Rachel mourned for their loss. She knew their loss; her mother had died when she'd been a young child. It was an indescribable loss. Her heart went out to them.

"Dr. Scott," Sam finally squeaked out, the first time he'd spoken to her. She stopped packing up her things, turning to him immediately.

"Yes, Sam?" She realized now how he had his father's eyes.

"Can we see Dad?" his voice was so small, so hopeful. Ashley watched her, waiting for her answer. They were both desperate for their father. Rachel wasn't sure how to answer.

"Let me go see how he is and if he can see you, I'll come back and bring you down," Her offer wasn't what she wanted to say, but she didn't know if he was in any shape for them to see.

"What's wrong with him?" Sam asked innocently, tears welling up in his little eyes. Rachel felt her chest tighten, her heart hurt for the little boy.

"He was hurt trying to save the ship, but he'll be all right. Let me go check in with the doctor and I'll come back with an update," Both children nodded, dropping their heads again, Ashley wrapping her arm around her brother's shoulders. Jed nodded at her in thanks, and she turned for the door, leaving behind her bag to assure the children she would in fact be back.

She made her way down the long corridors, biting her lip, praying for what she would find. She reached the door, which was closed. She took a deep breath, opening the heavy door and stepping in. She could see the captain from the mid thigh down, Rios blocking her view. Burk sat outside the small bed area, standing when he saw her. She nodded in greeting. Neither spoke as she waited for Rios to allow her entry. When he finally stepped back, she could see the captain's pale face, the IV that flowed into his strong arm. He was shirtless, his broad chest blood spattered on the left side, close to the wound that was now wrapped. He seemed to be resting.

"Dr. Rios, how is he?" She asked quietly as Rios closed the door to the small treatment room, providing the captain some privacy.

"I had to remove the bullet from where it was embedded deep in his deltoid, it narrowly missed the anterior humeral circumflex. He lost a lot of blood, but he doesn't appear to have any nerve damage and he's been conscious the entire time." He shook his head at the strength of their captain. Rachel rolled her eyes a bit, she wouldn't expect anything less of Tom.

"The children are anxious to see him, can I bring them down?" She knew how important it was for them, after all they'd been through, to see him, even if he had IVs and bandages. At the sound of the word, Tom called out from behind the door.

"Dr. Scott!" They heard rustling and she quickly pushed the door open to see Tom pushing himself up, visibly fighting the pain. She moved quickly to him, her hands pushing against his bare chest and his better shoulder. She could feel the muscles under her fingers, his soft skin, as she gently stopped him.

"Captain Chandler, what are you doing? You need to rest," Rios came up behind her, giving the captain a warning look. Burk stood behind them all, watching Chandler fight the two doctors' hands.

"I need to be with my family," his voice was firm, but was uncharacteristic coming from his pale face.

"You need to rest or you'll only upset them. They're very worried about you right now," Rachel knew the delicacy that was the children. She'd been there. They needed to see their father well or not at all. They couldn't take the worry, not right now. She pushed a little harder, but he overpowered her still, standing to his full height. "Captain," she warned, glaring up at him.

"I'm fine," he protested. He took a step toward the door before faltering and tripping, his body still weak from the blood loss, his head still woozy. Rachel caught him, her arms wrapping instinctively around his thick midsection. His good arm wrapped around her for support as Burk rushed forward to help her. He found the scent of vanilla she wore oddly comforting.

"Nope, I think you're not," They got him back seated, and he ran a hand over his cropped hair. He looked up at her and she could see the sadness in his blue eyes. Such a polar opposite of the eyes he'd looked at her with just a little over a day ago. She wanted to comfort him but didn't know how. "You need to rest, Captain. Remember all those times you've told me to rest? I'm returning the favor," a small grin dawned upon her lips. "I'll bring the children down, give your father a break," she replied, looking to Rios for confirmation. He nodded his allowance, and she looked back to Tom. He nodded his acceptance, resigned.

"Thank you," he replied quietly, leaning back against the wall. He brought up one knee, resting his arm across it and then his head on his arm. She waited a beat, before moving past Burk to get the children.

* * *

"Okay, remember, your father has lost quite a bit of blood, so he doesn't have a lot of energy. We need to be calm and quiet," her words were encouraging and comforting, she wanted them to know what to expect. She thought they were precious children, both showered, still clad in his very large clothing. Ashley had pulled her wet hair up with an elastic Kara had offered her, and Sam's hair was still freshly wet from his shower. They both nodded their understanding. She pushed open the door, leading Ashley in by hand, Sam holding Ashley's hand. Tom's head rolled to the side from where he lay on the bed, taking in the sight of his children and Rachel. She released Ashley's hand, and let them step in front of her. More tears came from the children immediately, and as Tom worked to sit up, Rachel moved to help him adjust, as he sat sideways on the bed, making room for the kids. The children climbed into the bed, both sobbing, the loss of their mother still so fresh.

Tom couldn't contain his own tears as he held them, kissing their heads, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. Rachel shut the door to the small room, but their sobs carried, and she held her heart, leaning against the wall outside.

"I'm so sorry about your mom," Tom choked out, his words too raw, so unfair. He blamed himself for this, if they'd gotten there just hours sooner, could they have saved her; the thoughts tore him apart.

"She tried so hard to live, she knew you'd come for us, she knew," Ashley sobbed into his chest. They were silent for a long while, taking comfort in being together again. When the tears turned to hiccups, and then turned to sniffles, Sam looked up at his father, his face blotchy from crying, his little blue eyes full of emotion.

"She told us to tell you she loved you a lot," the words coming from the little boy before him just tore him apart, and he felt so sad, so angry at himself for not being able to save her. He hugged them closer, taking comfort in their warmth.

Rachel listened outside the door, a tear streaming down her cheek for the man inside, the man she so cared for. He'd traipsed across the oceans for her, from the beginning, before he'd known any better. He'd fought for her, killed for her, laid men to rest for her, and now, he'd lost his _wife_ for her. The guilt that came over her was immense and so very real. She sat down on the chair beside the door, running her hands over her face. How could this have happened?

* * *

**I know, not much Tom and Rachel, but we have to build up from the bottom here. Tom is going to mourn, and now there are children involved. I worked very hard to make this realistic to the storyline of the show, I hope I succeeded. I chose to not include how they got back to the ship because I wasn't sure I could do it justice, as so many other people are, and I wanted to focus on the characters. I hope that's okay.  
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**Thank you for the incredible, incredible reviews. I am so appreciative, I cannot describe the joy they bring me, and the encouragement they provide. Please, if you read it, always leave at least a line. I am so thankful for them!**


	8. Chapter 8

Tom found Rachel in the ward room, sitting alone, a cup of tea steaming in her hand. It had been a few days since they'd left Baltimore, and he had finally been deemed strong enough to roam the ship. Not one to stay down for long, he'd been begging to get out of medical since the second day. Four days after their escape from Baltimore, and the first thing he wanted was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

He closed the door with his good hand, his other secure in a cotton sling, to keep him from using his arm while the wound healed. He hadn't wanted it but Rios had insisted. He gripped the cotton at the end of the sling, catching her eyes as she looked up. He hadn't seen her since the night she'd brought the kids to sick bay to see him. He presumed she'd been busy in the lab, Lord knew he'd been busy trying to take care of his family.

"Hi there," he greeted her with a small smile. She returned the grin with her own friendly one.

"Hello, Captain," she spoke, a tone of surprise in her voice, "Fancy seeing you out and about, especially this time of night," she noted it was after midnight, looking up at the clock, before looking back at the handsome man who was pouring himself a cup of coffee. He laughed lightly and she found the sound to be music her ears.

"My sleeping patterns are a little amiss these days," his words were rueful, as he found his hidden stash of bread, peanut butter, and grape jelly under a cabinet in the back of the room.

She raised an eyebrow as she watched him, curious as to how no one knew that was there. She watched him pull out a butter knife, grab a plate, and begin opening the bread package.

When he looked up for a moment, he saw her curious look and met it for a moment, before looking away. "Bacon knows how to treat his captain," the comment was a testament to the cook who had stowed away the food for his captain for his midnight snacks. "I'd offer you a scone for your tea, but I'm fresh out."

She caught the playfulness in his tone, and wasn't sure how to respond. She waited a beat before speaking, "I appreciate the thought anyway," she looked back to her tea as he made his sandwich. "Doc Rios says your shoulder is healing; there's no infection. That's a good sign. You'll be good as new in no time."

He fought the urge to look up at her as she spoke. She'd been asking about him. He found that interesting, and sweet. He put the covers back on the jars and settled down in his seat at the head of the table to her left.

He was close enough for her to smell his soapy, clean scent, and she, for a moment, thought about how might he have showered with his bandages. She pushed the thought away, and could feel the heat in her cheeks. Thinking about the man next to her naked was not something she should take up her thoughts with, especially in light of all that had happened.

He watched her while he ate, and noticed the pink hue that suddenly covered her pretty complexion. He eyed her, as she seemed to almost laugh to herself. "What? Do I have peanut butter on my face or something?"

His playfulness was so much so she couldn't help but look up, and his expression was one of a man twice his age, someone trying to keep the mood light. She shook her head, laughing a little.

"No, it's nothing, just thinking about something," she wished her tired mind to rid itself of such thoughts, but as she felt his eyes on her, she was sure he wouldn't let it go. He didn't.

"Penny for your thoughts? I could use a good laugh."

"Oh trust me, this is not something you'd laugh at. Forget I said anything," she practically begged for him to talk about anything else. She stood to refill her tea, hoping he'd not mention it further. Instead, he finished his sandwich and leaned back, as if getting comfortable until she told him.

"Oh really? I bet this is a good thought you had. Please do share," he crossed one of his long legs over the other, his ankle resting on the opposite knee. She leaned against the counter across the room, watching him. His color had come back, and besides the sling, he was the man he had been a week ago, before the mess that was Baltimore. In this moment, as she looked at him, it felt as though nothing had changed. But she knew that wasn't the case. Everything had changed.

She shook her head again. "No, sir. That one is just going to have to stay private for a while," her grin told him it was definitely private and he surprised himself by wanting to know her thought more than he really thought. He raised an eyebrow.

"Can I get a hint?" he was desperate for anything that was a distraction from their next move, the children sleeping in the squadron captain's cabin across from his own, and the heartache from missing his wife. Anything that could tear his mind away from those things was gold.

She contemplated his plead, she wondered what his fascination was. Tentatively, as she made her way back to the table, she spoke, "It had to do with showers. But that's all I'm giving you," She looked at him sideways, settling back into her seat. He raised both eyebrows this time, surprised at her admission.

"I can't even begin to wonder where you're going with that," he sipped his coffee, still watching her. Her hair was completely down tonight, he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen it all down. She wore a large black sweater that looked very soft, gray leggings sliding into her calf high boots. She tipped her head to the side to look at him square on, her long tresses falling over her shoulder.

"Maybe someday I'll tell you everything," her smile was all knowing, and he found her to be prettier in this relaxed state than he'd ever seen her. He didn't speak, just nodded, wondering what she meant by her statement. She was talking over his head this evening, it seemed.

They enjoyed each others company in silence for a while and when he moved to stand to get more coffee, she offered and did it for him. He watched her pour the dark liquid, and bring the steaming cup back to him. They locked eyes, and she cursed the way she could get lost in his. She sat back down, and took a sip of her tea.

"How are the children?" She hadn't seen them since that night in medical. She had tried to give him his space, had tried to separate herself from the constant guilt. He looked down to his coffee.

"They're okay. As good as can be expected, I suppose." She watched him watch the liquid in his mug, all playfulness gone from his expression.

"And how are you doing?" her words were heartfelt, soft and comforting. She shifted slightly in her seat to face him entirely, drawing a knee up to her chest. He didn't raise his eyes.

"As good as can be expected," he repeated the words he'd used for the kids, looking up to meet her with his glassy eyes. He clenched his jaw to keep himself straight-faced and unemotional, but the motion only made her more aware of his reality.

"She was your wife, it's going to take time," the words were so basic but the meaning behind them was so big. She was right, he knew. Darien had been his everything for so long. Until the mission had taken over and he'd put her second. And now he couldn't even apologize for what had happened.

"I just play it over and over in my head. If I had just done something differently, maybe she'd still be here," his voice was quiet, thick with emotion. He didn't lift his eyes from the shoe laces on her boot.

"Maybe we wouldn't have the cure if you'd done something different. Or something might have happened to the children. It could have played out a million different ways," She leaned forward, moving her leg, and placing her hand on his knee. "This isn't your fault, Tom. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine, and for everything, I am so sorry," The sound of his name on her lips, and the words of her apology brought his head up to meet her eyes. They were watery, tears threatening to spill. She blamed herself?

"You saved my father, my kids, with what you created. This is far from your fault," A tear slid down his cheek, and it broke Rachel's heart once more. She couldn't keep her own from spilling over. She was shocked at the amount of emotion she felt for this man and his loss.

She shook her head, unable to accept his words. "Tom, I am so very sorry," She leaned back covering her mouth with the back of her hand. She knew this wasn't about her, this was his loss, but she couldn't help but feel responsible. Despite her feelings for the man in front of her, she would never want him to be in the pain he was in right now. She had kept everything a secret from the beginning, maybe if she'd just told him, maybe they would have made progress sooner. There were so many 'what ifs'.

Impulsively, he put his coffee down and leaned forward, pulling her into his chest, wrapping his right arm around her tightly. He felt her sob into his shoulder as he rested his head against hers, his own tears streaming down relentlessly.

"We're going to be okay, Rachel, we all are," he felt her arms wrap around him, her hands gripping at his back. They cried together for a long while, each finding comfort in the other. They were so tired, sleep-deprived and emotional.

She leaned back slightly, after some time, her face blotchy and tear-stained. His cheeks were wet as she searched his face, his eyes. Her arms were still at his sides, as he ran his hand over her soft hair, moving a few strands behind her ear. Their eye contact lasted a few moments, her tears still on her lips, the heat between them too much for her to bear.

He swept his eyes over her face, taking in her tears cried for him, her wet eyelashes, her trembling lips. Her hands held his shirt at his sides, as his hand cupped her cheek, his thumb wiping her tears. He'd be lying if he hadn't looked at her lips, hadn't wanted to run his thumb, or his own lips across them. He hadn't slept in days, maybe he was imagining she was Darien. But the more he looked at her, he knew who she was, all that she encompassed. His heart was torn, in so many different ways.

Rachel was desperate for comfort, needed to ease the ache in her soul. As his thumb caressed over her cheek, she closed her eyes for just a moment, the electricity in his touch something she couldn't even begin to put into thoughts. When she opened her eyes, he was waiting, ready to search her darker ones. His blue ones were soft, tired, clear. She brought her hands up, landing on either side of his face gently, and in an instant, her lips were against his. She kissed him sweetly, but hungrily, some underlying need making itself known.

He kissed her back, almost immediately, unable to stop himself. The taste of her tea, mixed with mint, and a hint of something else drew him in. He was desperate for comfort, desperate for her, in ways he shouldn't be, couldn't be. Her tongue battled its way into his mouth, and he allowed it entrance, allowed himself to get lost in her touch, in her kiss. He couldn't help himself.

He slid his arm down her back, tried to pull her closer, but she pulled back quickly, her eyes wide and full of something Tom couldn't read.

"Rach-I..what..?" she pushed her chair back abruptly, standing, her hand flying to her mouth. She looked at him as she backed her way around the table, headed for the door, moving as quickly as she could. Fresh tears sprung to her eyes.

"Tom, I am so, so sorry," she pulled open the door, and ran down the p-way, looking for anywhere to be but there. Tom sat, dumbfounded at the table, running a hand over his hair, squeezing the bridge of his nose, unable to process what had just happened between them. So many emotions and feelings ran through him as he stared at the mug of tea she'd left behind. It smelled like her, she smelled, and tasted like it. He felt his heart ache with confusion and loss.

* * *

Thank you again for your incredible reviews. Keep 'em coming and I'll keep the chapters coming ;)

I hope you enjoyed this one! Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

The knocking on the door startled her from her deep sleep and she had to question where she was. She blinked her eyes rapidly, begging them to adjust to her surroundings. As the knocking continued incessantly, she rolled off her bed, and made her way to the door, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Glancing at the clock on small desk, she noticed it was the middle of the night. She flipped on the light and pulled open her stateroom door.

He felt bad waking her, but he was desperate. He hadn't seen her since the night in the ward room over a week ago. Somehow she'd managed to evade him on this enclosed ship. Honestly, now that he was back to full duty, and full single parenting, he hadn't had time to seek her out either. They were planning to drop anchor outside Boston to retrieve some supplies before they went farther north, however; he knew he'd see her eventually. But he wasn't prepared for her to answer the door in a small tank top, braless, in equally small shorts. His eyes scanned her body before he could stop them as she pulled open the door. He chose to focus on her eyes instead.

She hadn't expected to see Tom outside her stateroom, pacing frantically. Her eyes still adjusting, she caught his blue eyes with her darker ones, questioning him. She'd been avoiding him for days, since their kiss in the ward room. She was humiliated and distracted by it, and couldn't bring herself to face him. She'd managed to somehow stay off his radar as they floated in the Atlantic, trying to determine their next move. She figured between his family and his duties, he'd be too focused to find her. But as he paced before her, she learned she was wrong.

"Captain, is everything all right?" she leaned against the frame, using her free hand to push her long hair from her face. He stopped pacing and rubbed his face.

"I can't find her," he spoke through his palms. Rachel raised her eyebrows in questioning.

"Can't find who?" She repeated. The man before her looked exhausted, she decided, and stressed. Worry lines were evident across his forehead, and she worried about him for a moment in exchange.

"Ashley. She's gone," he began pacing again, and she stood straighter, immediately concerned, her earlier unsureness about seeing him again now forgotten.

He couldn't wrap his brain around it. His father had found him on the bridge an hour ago to tell him Ashley had told him she was going for a walk. There'd been no sign of her since, and he had looked practically everywhere on this ship. They were moving toward Boston at a good speed, if she'd somehow slipped and fell…his stomach knotted up at the thought. His heart raced.

"Gone where? It's a large ship, but she must be around here somewhere," her voice was calm, comforting, and he regretted not coming to ask for her help sooner. He should have known she'd put their awkwardness aside for the greater good. "Let me put some clothes on," she turned back toward the door and instinctively he followed, holding the door open, watching her. She had nice legs, he unconsciously decided, from her slim calves up her contoured hamstrings. She was a runner, he knew, but her tights did her no justice. She was petite through the waist, and as she bent over to pull pants out of the bottom drawer of her small dresser, he forced himself to tear his eyes away. He couldn't go there right now, not while his daughter was missing in action. She pulled on a pair of soft, grey sweatpants, socks and sneakers, throwing a thick black sweatshirt over her head. He turned his head back to look at her after a moment, and was appreciative and yet disappointed she was fully covered. He cleared his throat.

"She told my father she was going to take a walk, and I've been unable to find her," she could hear the frantic tone in his raspy voice. As she moved to him, she placed her hand on his shoulder, soothing him.

He felt her touch, reeled from it. He had tried to stop thinking about the kiss, forced himself to wish it away, but every once in a while, it found its way back. Between mourning Darien, and worrying about the kids, it would entwine itself in his thoughts; as if he needed more things to think about.

"We'll find her, Captain, don't worry," she moved past him through the door way onto the p-way. "I'll meet you in the lab in an hour," she gave him a reassuring smile, heading for a few spots she would go if she were looking to escape the constant watch of her father and grandfather.

Tom headed in the other direction, praying one of them found her.

XXXXXXX

Rachel had walked the large deck, checked the lab, the galley, the mess hall, and made her way up the p-way to the crew lounge. Beyond checking staterooms, it was the only place she could think the young girl was.

She pushed open the door, found the room to be dark, except the glow of the TV. Sure enough, to Rachel's relief, Ashley lay under a blanket on the couch, fast asleep. Peering at the TV, she recognized Gilligan's Island, but the sound was so low she could barely hear it. She turned on the lamp next to the couch, touched the little girl's hair, and noticed the tear-streaks down her cheeks. She didn't rustle from her sleep, Rachel suspected sleep didn't come easy to her these days. Getting used to sleeping while at sea was one thing, missing the person who tucked you in every night for your entire life was another. Rachel knew her pain, all too well. It had been several years since the loss of her mother-she'd been ten-but the pain was still very, very real.

She pulled the blanket up higher on the young girl, and kissed her forehead purely out of support, hoping the child could unconsciously take some comfort from the gesture. She knew Tom would be furious when she told him she'd found her, and no doubt Ashley would get a strict reprimand about running around the ship unaccounted for, but for now Rachel just wished the little girl peace. She stepped outside and asked one of the passing sailors to call up to the bridge and inform the captain she was in the crew lounge. He nodded, and she stepped back inside, sitting in the chair adjacent to the couch, watching over her.

Not shortly thereafter, Tom busted through the lounge door, and from his entrance Rachel could tell he was ready to yell. She raised her hand to silence him before he even began, and he stopped, himself realizing Ashley was asleep. Rachel stood slowly and walked to him, motioning for them to step outside. She could now see his red face, and while he paced, she stood still for once, admiring how roles had suddenly reversed.

"When she wakes up, I swear to God…," hands on his hips, he paced in the small area of the p-way, his words hushed but fierce. He had been beyond worried, and now he was beyond upset.

"Maybe she just needed a quiet place away from everyone to grieve and sleep for a while. Think about what she's been through, her mind must be a mess right now," Rachel spoke in comforting, soothing tones, trying to bring the frantic father back down. He stopped, pointing at the door.

"She could have been hurt or worse!"

Rachel tilted her head, gazing at him. She could tell by his demeanor he was not used to being the sole caregiver, she imagined Darien had been the ring leader around their house; he must have been busy advancing his career while she took care of their home. He now wore the sole responsibility of caring for their children. Jed was around, but he'd been making himself useful on board the ship, keeping himself busy. Kara and Alicia helped out watching the kids, but they had important jobs to do. Tom was all on his own here, in more uncharted waters. Rachel sympathized with him.

"First, you need to bring it down a notch. If you yell at her, you're only going to alienate her even more. Second, there are over 200 people on this ship who are very aware she is your daughter, their captain's child. No one is letting her get hurt," she spoke matter-of-factly, keeping her tone even, not wanting to upset him further. She tentatively stepped forward and placed a hand on either shoulder to stop him from pacing. "Third, you need to calm down. You being this upset is not going to do you, her, or Sam any good." She held onto his broad, strong shoulders, kept his eye contact.

He stared down at her, all her statements registering in his mind. He had no words for her. She could feel his muscles relax under her fingers, and she slowly released him. He brought his hands up, rubbing them over his face, a move he seemed to be doing more often. One of complete surrender. He dropped his hands, placed them on his hips, looking at her, studying her.

"Tom, she's fine. Your little girl is safe and sound behind this door, fast asleep. Leave her be. I'll stay here and bring her back to you when she wakes," her offer was followed by a small smirk, "As long as you promise not to lock her in a room like you did with Quincy," at that she watched him drop his head and laugh. It was a tired laugh, but she enjoyed the sound.

"All right, I promise," he raised his head with a small smile, "this time. If she does it again though…" he trailed off, his previous anger returning for a moment. Rachel gave him a reassuring smile.

"Talk to her. She won't do it again, I assure you," Rachel put her hand on the door handle, moving to open it. She felt his large hand on her forearm and stopped, looking at the way his fingers curled around her arm gently. He stepped closer to her, his masculine scent enveloping her. She dared to look up, knowing his ice blue eyes were waiting for her. As soon as her eyes reached his, she could feel that flutter in her stomach, the way her heart beat sped up.

"Thank you for helping me look for her," he spoke, his words heartfelt. As he looked down at her, he was overcome with the need to ask her about the kiss, about why she ran away. But her eyes were so wide, she looked so vulnerable, so unsure, he couldn't get the words out. "Admittedly, I'm struggling with being their only parent right now, I appreciate the fact I was able to come to you. Thank you," his words were soft, his voice raspy and he held her eyes with his own. He struggled with the urge he had to bend down and put him lips on hers, see if the feelings he got the other night were real.

"I'm here anytime, Captain," her voice was soft, she was officially lost in his ocean colored eyes. She leaned against the door, she needed to be held up at this point, his gaze was making her knees weak. Her face felt warm, she suddenly felt hot.

It wasn't lost on him the way she went back to his title, instead of using his name as she had only moment before. "Thank you," he whispered once more, before grazing his lips over her cheek.

It was chaste, and over before she could react. He was gone then, striding away from her before she could respond. She watched him go, her mind a mess of mush and confusion. She was a solid, professional scientist and this man could turn her into a weak disaster with one look. She dropped her head when he disappeared, pushing the door open and making her way to the chair by Ashley. She checked the young child on her way, making sure she was still sleeping soundly, and it didn't appear she'd moved. Rachel settled in, grabbing an extra blanket from the closet, and watched the TV show reruns in silent, her mind consumed with thoughts of the captain, and that their professional relationship had evolved into, and the mess they could potentially make, a mess, she barely admitted to herself, she was willing to make.

* * *

_Thank you again for your incredible reviews. I wrote this quick, excuse any errors. I'm a little lukewarm about this chapter, I hope y'all like it. Let me know :)_


	10. Chapter 10

"Everything looks like it's progressing normally. My guess, without an ultrasound, is that your 8-10 weeks along. Once you reach your second trimester, the morning sickness should dissipate," Rachel smiled kindly at the young woman on the exam table before her. Kara laid her head back on the pillow, sighing.

"How much longer until then? I don't know if I can keep going on like this, I'm practically useless sometimes," Kara had been feeling awful since the trials. The sickness came and went, but when it was there, she was down for the count.

Rachel offered an encouraging smile, "Fourteen weeks puts you in your second trimester," she was sympathetic for the younger woman, knowing that was not the news she was hoping to hear. "But then, four weeks after that, if I can get my hands on an ultrasound machine in Boston, we can see what sex the baby is," she gave Kara something to look forward, something to hold on to during the rougher moments.

"Thank you, Dr. Scott." Kara smiled at Rachel, sitting up slowly. Despite Rios being the ship's doctor, Kara had asked that Dr. Scott take care of her and the baby; she preferred a female during this time. Rachel was out of practice, and hadn't delivered a baby since her trauma days in Mogadishu, but she was confident she could get Kara through the pregnancy, along with Rios' help as well during the non-exam moments.

"Of course, Kara. Please let me know if you need more anti-nausea medicine. I'll look for something a little more effective while we're in port, and try to get my hands on some baby items for you as well."

Kara smiled her appreciation, heading for the door to exit sick bay. Danny was anxiously waiting outside. Rachel watched them share a quiet moment, as Kara reported that all was well so far, and watched them embrace. She looked away then, feeling like she was intruding on their moment. She could feel the engines still, knew they were docking. She'd been practicing her speech in her head about going ashore with them, needing medical supplies. She knew Tom was going to fight her. But she was determined to go with them-she knew what she needed and she didn't want to have to make a long laundry list for whoever would be retrieving her things.

* * *

She made her way to their deployment area, watching the boats being lowered into the water. Her pack over her shoulder, she stepped up beside Tex and Danny, who were armed and ready to head ashore. She knew time was of the essence; they needed to refuel, get food and supplies and get out of Boston as soon as possible.

Tom's back was to her as he briefed the team, Mike looking on. Mike had discouraged him from going, since his children were now very much in his life, he needed to stay safe, didn't need to be risking his life when Mike was very capable. Especially when Tom wasn't 100% yet after his injury. Tom had relented and agreed to let Mike go in his stead. But it had been an argument between the two. Tom wasn't one to stay behind.

This was the same as their trip to Gitmo, get in, get what they needed, and get out. They would be stopping in Norfolk potentially on their way back south soon; there were more family members to look for. But they realized how dangerous it was for them to be docked in any harbor now, had seen it first hand. Everyone needed to be on watch, armed and ready to head out of port as soon as danger arose.

When he finished addressing the crew going ashore, he turned back to the men behind him, raising his eyebrows immediately at the sight of Rachel. "What are you doing?" He questioned her. He didn't need to ask, he knew she would insist on going. But he stood fast, knew his strict answer.

"I need to go to what's left of Mass General. We need more medical supplies to keep replicating the cure, and I need an ultrasound machine to make sure Kara's pregnancy progresses normally. She also needs pre-natal vitamins, amongst other things. Quincy is not healthy enough to go, and-"

"Doc Rios can go for you, make him a list. You're too valuable," he was short with her, wasn't entertaining her antics today in regards to going off the ship. The answer was and, especially after what happened in Baltimore, would always be no.

He turned to Tex, began explaining something about their mission, but she interrupted them. Tex looked at her, surprised at her assertive tone. "Captain, with all due respect, I'm overruling you on this one," She pushed past him, following Danny to the ladder.

He watched her go, surprised into silence by her actions. She wasn't normally one to be overly bull-headed and completely disregard his authority.

Mike waited for Tom to stop her. He and Tex exchanged a look.

"Dr. Scott," came his sharp tone, turning to face her as she walked away. She stopped, only out of respect, crossing her arms and looking at him expectantly. "Did you hear what I said? Make Rios a list and-"

"Captain, I'm going," She moved over the railing, her heart racing as she climbed down the ladder, landing in the boat easily.

Tom clenched his jaw, watched after her, where she'd gone. He was angry, irritated by her defiant behavior. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. She was safer on board the ship, they couldn't afford to lose her. "Go with her, please. Do NOT let her out of your sight," he spoke to Tex and Mike, who nodded, their plans now changed. He would have gone, but with Garnett and Chung working to refuel and Mike already going, there was no one else to command the ship. He knew he could have switched places with Mike, but at this point it wasn't worth it. He had to trust his men to bring her back safely.

Tex settled next to her in the boat, and she ignored the chuckle that escaped him. "Somebody ruffled the Commodore's feathers..."

"I know what I need and it's easier if I just get it," was her snappy reply. Tex laughed at her, entertained by her antics this sunny, fall afternoon. Mike puffed on a cigar, taking the moment off the ship to enjoy one.

"She decided she needed a 45 minute walk, Tex, that's all," Mike replied with a laugh, also amused at the irritation of the captain and her complete disregard for his orders.

"Oh, 45 minutes, that's all it is? You're lucky I'm in for a stroll, now that we've been put on babysitting duty," his sarcasm got her a glare, and he just chuckled, "Oh lassie, relax. Enjoy your trip because I have a feeling it's the last one you're gonna get for a while."

* * *

When they finally got the last of her things on board, she was already delegating, instructing where things needed to go, where things needed to be stored. Tex and Mike stood tiredly next to her, admiring her endless energy. They shared a look, however, as Tom strode out onto the flight desk.

"Dr. Scott!" He called as he got closer. She ignored him, talking to Danny about the ultrasound machine's capabilities. Tom was so angry with her for her defiance, had been stewing the entire time she'd been ashore. He thought through everything he was going to say, how clear he was going to make it that she would never be allowed off ship again thanks to her behavior. Sitting in his chair on the bridge, he'd stared out at the ocean and the desolate city that was now Boston, thinking about his life now, how different everything was. And how if anything happened to Rachel...he couldn't lose any more people.

Mike could tell by the way she affected him, how his behavior changed when she was around. There was something underlying on Tom's end. He couldn't put his finger on it, but some of the recent exchanges he'd witnessed between the two intrigued him.

"Dr. Scott!" his voice was tight, and when she finally glanced up at him, she could tell he wasn't happy with her. "A word please. _Privately_." She dropped her head, excusing herself from the group, following the Captain as he walked off the flight deck at a good clip. She followed behind him dutifully, thinking of all the retorts she had for when he scolded her. She followed him to his stateroom, where they had privacy, and he opened the door, allowing her in first, and then shutting it behind him.

She faced the far wall, afraid to turn. When she finally did, she wished she hadn't. She began speaking first, now just as upset as he was. "Captain Chandler, you have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do. I am not one of your crew and you cannot order me around as if I am!" Rachel crossed her arms in defense. Normally she wouldn't be so hot with him, but with the way he was looking at her, his head down slightly, his eyes bearing into hers, she felt the urge to yell, because otherwise she'd end up doing other things.

"Dr. Scott, don't you _ever_ undermine me in front of my crew again." His words were low, fierce. He seemed to have grown in his uniform, his shoulders drawn back, his arms crossed. They seemed to have begun a staring contest, their eyes locked, both seething with their own kind of anger. "I hope you got what you needed because I can assure you, your days of going ashore are over."

"You have no right-"

"I have _every_ right!" His voice boomed in the small room, his patience quickly thinning. "This is my ship and everyone on it is under my command, including you! And if you think you can deliberately disobey an order without repercussions, you're wrong." He clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides, his frustration with her going so much deeper than just her going off the ship without his adherence.

"Captain, it sounds like your title is going to your head," her words were sharp, and if possible, his eyes darkened further, a darkness she hadn't seen since their first fight months ago, after the Russians had attacked them. She was breathing heavily, her hands defiantly on her hips, her eye contact never wavering.

"Dr. Scott, I am warning you, pull a stunt like that again-"

"Why am I so 'valuable'" she put air quotations around his chosen word from this morning, "to your mission? You have your cure, you have the lab. If something happens to me, Rios and Quincy know enough to continue my work. I am not valuable, I am no more important than anyone else!" She was so tired of him treating her like she was fragile. She was tough, had been taking care of herself far longer than she cared to admit. She didn't need his protecting.

He paced a little bit, no words coming to mind in response. How do you tell someone how important they are, when you're not even sure how much?

Instead, on a leap of faith and spurred by the severe anger he had at her for risking her life, he crossed the room quickly, his hands sliding up to either side of her face, his mouth covering hers. This kiss was fierce, intense, and he couldn't help himself.

She found herself shocked at first, but soon gripping his strong biceps, kissing back, matching his fervor. The feelings he pulled out of her were something she'd never felt before. She melted into him, her body meshing with his. She cursed the uniform that separated them, but that didn't slow her lips from kissing his back passionately.

He couldn't get enough, backing her into his desk. He wanted to eat her alive, to show her how important in fact she was to him. But in the same moment, he could still feel how upset he was with her, and how vulnerable he was in this moment.

He pulled back abruptly, staring at her, his eyes dark, his expression one she hadn't seen before. He released her, but stood closely. "Get out," he practically growled, so frustrated with her and himself, he needed to be alone.

Her eyes widened, confusion and hurt evident on her face. She blinked, trying to readjust to reality, moving quickly for the door. Her stubborn behavior was forgotten as she practically ran down the p-way, putting as much distance between herself and Tom as possible. This man had a way of turning her inside it in a matter of seconds. It was not something she was proud of.

She thought back to the moment in the ward room, when she'd kissed him and then ran. Maybe she deserved this. Maybe he was getting her back. What kind of game was this they were playing with one another?

Tom paced his stateroom, rubbing his face. Why had he done that? Why would he cross that line? He couldn't stop thinking about it though, the feeling of her lips on his, of her against him. He sighed heavily...

* * *

_I hope you guys enjoyed this! I know we've been working the slow burn but this chapter sort of wrote itself. I had this whole plan for action in Boston, but my fingers took me in a different direction. And if you read my tumblr post..that cuteness turned into...well, something else entirely!_

_I'm also opening the floor for thoughts on what should happen next..if you have ideas, let me know. If I use them, you'll get credit :) Feel free to PM me about your ideas. _

_ . , thank you for your thoughts and ideas about action in Boston. I'm sorry I went in a different direction, though I may use what we talked about in the future if it fits :) Thank you again though!_

_And thank you again for all your incredible reviews! The support this story is receiving is so amazing, and I am so appreciative! Thank you for leaving at least a line, even the smallest review means so much! Thank you!_


	11. Chapter 11

"Well look what the cat dragged in!" Tex exclaimed, causing many of the crew members surrounding him to look in her direction. Rachel's cheeks turned a bit pink, and she dropped her head with a half-smile. "Fancy seeing you down here for a meal," he gave her a smile in return, pushing Burk down. "Move, let's make room for the lady," the men around him just laughed.

"Really, Tex, I'm fine. I just came by to get something quick, I've got too much work to do to enjoy a meal," she replied, moving past the table full of sailors. "Thank you though," she finished gracefully. Truth be told, she hadn't strayed far from the lab and her stateroom since her exchange with the captain the week prior. And if she did, it was early morning or late at night. Avoiding him had become part of her daily routine, and she had gotten it down to a science.

Tonight however, she was starving, and ventured out to the crew mess hall for some dinner. She hadn't anticipated how packed it would be, had hoped to get in and out unnoticed. She was failing, as Tex continued to coerce her to stay for the meal.

"Come on, Rach, be one of the guys, stay a while," he tried to get her to stay, Danny, Burk, Miller and the like all cheering her on. She politely declined; she wasn't much company these days.

"You guys enjoy your meal, I'll see you later," she headed for the door, bumping into Slattery on her way out. She closed her eyes for a brief moment. So much for going anywhere unnoticed, she sighed. She was sure Tom would be around any moment, just to make things more awkward.

"Easy there, Doctor," he steadied her by her shoulders, as she looked up his six foot four frame. He was a large man, a handsome one; she admired his kind eyes. They hadn't always been on the same side, but he'd grown on her. She gave the same, small half smile to him as she had Tex.

"Good evening, Commander," she replied, trying to move past him.

"Haven't seen you around lately, almost forgot you were on board," he winked at her and she knew he was kidding, but she wasn't in the mood to laugh.

"Well, there's been a lot to do, especially with setting up the birthing suite for Kara," she rambled a little, not wanting to talk about the real reason she was hiding.

"Well, I hope you're in need of a distraction," he turned to the crew, who was standing at attention, waiting to be acknowledged. "Ladies and gentleman, get dressed for R&amp;R as we'll be docking just off Damariscove Island in a few hours, an uninhabited island about 5 nautical miles off the coast of Boothbay Harbor, Maine. We have some engine repairs and maintenance work to be done, and you all deserve a break. We'll have watch assignments posted, but everyone will get some time on the island. As you were," he stepped out into the hallway, as Rachel took in the news. She doubted she counted as anyone who would get any time off the ship, not after last week. She began walking away, heard her name called out.

"Dr. Scott," Mike called after her. She reluctantly slowed, turning slightly to see him striding toward her. She dropped her head in defeat, she knew what was coming.

"Don't worry about Tom, I'll make sure you get to enjoy some R&amp;R along with the rest of us," his words were quiet, a smirk on his face, and she looked up, surprised. "He's all hat and no cattle most of time; he won't actually make you stay aboard ship while everyone else is off having fun," he chuckled a little, and she couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips at his choice of words.

"Thank you Commander. I appreciate your words," she replied, and she meant them. It was nice having people in her corner.

"Plus, I'm sure there are some birds there you can just say you're studying," he spoke playfully, winking at her, referring to the lie she'd told to get on the ship, before all that had happened. She laughed a little to herself before turning and heading back the way she'd come, sandwich in hand. She felt a little better about everything-it was nice having people looking out for her. She wasn't used to that.

* * *

Tom stepped off the bridge, out onto the east wing of the bridge, taking in the fresh air and the sun on his face. It was early, the sun was just rising over the two mile long island they would be spending the next forty-eight hours docked beside. He was actually looking forward to getting off the ship with his family, trekking across the small island, taking in the sights and sounds of coastal Maine. The air was chilly, it was late October after all, but it felt good against his face. He didn't mind the cold weather, welcomed it. Growing up in Virginia, they had always gotten a decent winter, and with his birthday in early November, he'd spent much time enjoying birthday parties skiing with his friends. He knew winter in Maine was much colder, and they would head south before any weather could hinder them, but he wanted to enjoy the fall weather while he could. Bringing his hot coffee to his lips, he welcomed the warm liquid, enjoyed its smell against the rich, crisp air.

"Dad!" Sam bounded through the bridge and outside to his father, who turned at his son's voice. Sam's nose was pink, his cheeks rose-colored. Tom felt his heart swell; he loved these kids so much.

"Hey buddy, what have you been up to? You're out of breath," he laughed at Sam's excitement. Admiral Halsey came around the corner and barked, as Danny came through behind him.

"Look, Dad! He can find me anywhere!" the little boy exclaimed, amazed by the German Shepherd's skills. Danny asked the dog to sit, and as Sam got closer to pet him, the dog licked his cheek, causing Sam to shriek with joy. Tom missed having the easy joy of a nine year old. He looked up and offered Danny a grin.

"Looks like you made a friend," he replied to the younger Navy Seal. "Good practice for you," he added, watching Sam adamantly pet the wooly dog. Danny grinned.

"Yes, sir. Hopefully my son or daughter is as well behaved as yours," he complimented, before turning back to Sam, "Attention, Seaman Chandler," he spoke to Sam, who stood at attention, saluting Danny, who saluted him back, his expression one of seriousness. Chandler felt his heart practically burst with love for the child before him, his salute practiced and true. Then off he went to hide so the precisely trained dog could find him once more. It was good practice for the dog, and it kept Sam busy, which Tom appreciated.

He couldn't contain the smile that had stretched across his face, as he looked back out to the ocean before them, calm and still, the sun drawing pink and orange lines across the wavy surface. The ship was still quiet, the day just beginning. Dressed in his jeans, sneakers, and long sleeve US Navy tee shirt under a blue and gray flannel button down, he felt out of place on his bridge. But this was their life now, this was their home. They had to find balance.

He felt arms wrap around his waist, and removed his hand from his pocket to wrap it around his sleepy daughter. He rubbed her back, squeezing her against him as she yawned. The children had become commonplace on the ship, they had access anywhere safe for them to be, including the bridge. They were the Captain's children after all.

"Good morning, sleep-head," he welcomed her, her arms tight around him.

"Morning, Daddy," she spoke, her words muffled by his shirt. He chuckled a little.

"Did you get breakfast?"

"Not yet," she replied, releasing him to stretch. He watched her jump up and down, waking herself up.

"Want to head down to the ward room for some oatmeal or eggs?" He needed another cup of coffee as well. And some bacon sounded pretty good.

"Can I have hot chocolate?" she shivered for effect, wrapping her sweatshirt -covered arms around herself. He raised an eyebrow.

"After you eat some eggs," he compromised. She grinned happily, suddenly awake and bounding through the bridge. "I'll meet you down there," he called after her, but she was already gone. Alisha laughed, sipping her own coffee.

"You have the cutest kids, sir," she spoke with a soft smile. He knew it had been hard on her, everything they'd been through with her mother back in Baltimore. He offered a warm smile.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," he headed in the direction of Ashley, "I'll bring you some bacon when I come back," he called over his shoulder. She smiled, and this time, it was a full smile.

"Thank you, Captain!"

* * *

People had been disembarking all day, taking the ribs back and forth between the island and the ship. Rachel had waited, finishing up some tests, waiting for the Captain's orders for her NOT to go ashore. They never came. So she decided as soon as she was finished with Kara's first ultrasound, she would attempt to head for the island.

She had set up an exam area down in sick bay, her second computer now doubling as an ultrasound machine, tucked into its new home, along with the other equipment Rachel had been able to gather to assist with the delivery.

Kara and Danny walked through the door to medical, hand and hand, and Rachel admired the couple. They were a sweet pair, and despite their indiscretions on board a ship where such a thing was not permitted, it was very obvious they were very much in love. And their excitement about the baby was contagious.

They were dressed casually, both ready for their trip to the island. Rachel motioned to the bed.

"Hi guys. Kara, have a seat up here. I am sure you guys are ready to head to the island, so we'll make this quick," Kara settled on the exam bed, and tried to contain her excitement. "It's a bit early to hear the heartbeat, so don't be discouraged if we don't hear it. Go ahead and lie back," she turned the machine on and pulled up Kara's tee-shirt, and placed a sterile towel at the waist of her jeans to avoid getting jelly on it. She watched Kara grip Danny's hand until he winced in pain. Rachel giggled. "You may want to save crushing his fingers for the actual birth," she winked at Danny as the two laughed a little. She put jelly on Kara's abdomen and moved the wand around on her skin, searching for the small embryo.

To Rachel surprise, the little heart beat raced away. She watched Kara well up with tears, and saw Danny's happiness spread across his face. She also noticed the embryo measured at eight weeks. "You're eight weeks along, Kara, and your baby has a healthy heartbeat, as you can hear," she finished her words with a big smile, she situated the wand right above the small peanut-shaped embryo and pointed. "And there it is," she grinned at the proud parents, who couldn't contain their tears of joy. The door to sick bay opened just then, all three looking at the opening door, as Tom stepped through the threshold. He stopped mid-step however, not realizing he should have knocked. Danny straightened right away, and Kara moved to sit up.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize anyone was in here, I just needed a bandaid. As you were," he spoke quickly and quietly, turning away to give them privacy, rustling through a drawer close to the door. Rachel reached around the computer, and found a stack on the shelf. She turned to the Captain.

"Captain Chandler," she got his attention, her arm reaching in his direction with the bandaids. He turned toward her, and attempted to catch her eye, but she didn't look directly at him, only where his hand intercepted the little bandages. He turned to leave, catching sight of the computer screen. His breath caught in his throat.

"Is that the baby?" The soft grin that spread across his face was one brought on by nostalgia. He'd been in Danny's shoes, experienced the joy he must be feeling. More tears spilled from Kara's eyes, as Danny squeezed her hand. Rachel moved the wand over Kara's abdomen at just the right angle, and the heartbeat filled the room once more. Tom looked at the faces of his two crew members, and back to Rachel, who was gazing at the screen before her, transfixed on the little growing being. He couldn't see her face, wished she'd look at him, give him any indication she was no longer upset with him, and what she was feeling in this very moment.

She printed a small picture for the glowing parents, and stood, cleaning off Kara's belly. "I'll let you two have a moment," she spoke quietly, handing the couple the picture and then stepping away toward the door.

Tom followed her, and as she stepped out into the p-way, he reached to touch her elbow, but stopped himself short. Instead he stood up a little straighter and cleared his throat. "Dr. Scott," he greeted, now that they were somewhat alone. He kept his tone professional. "Due to the nature of our stop here, I'll allow you ashore," his words were short, and she didn't look at him. He was somewhat hurt by her cold shoulder. He wasn't surprised by her behavior though. It wasn't as if his choice of words were the best. He winced.

She crossed her arms and nodded, she had no words for him.

He stood for a moment, waiting for her to reply. When he decided she wasn't going to, he realized he had no reason to stand there-he didn't have anything to say either. "Very well, then," he moved off, heading toward the flight deck to take a boat to the island. He was battling his attraction to her, every day. Purposefully avoided her. He'd found himself staying on the bridge, or is CIC more often than he used to, as they were two places she didn't ever venture. He briefly wondered if they would be able to move past all that had happened between them recently.

She lifted her head as he walked away, staring at the casually dressed, broad-shouldered captain and then dropped her head with a sigh. She had so many feelings these days, some more overwhelming than others. As she had looked at the picture of the embryo on the screen, she wondered if that would ever be her, lying on the exam table, the baby on the screen belonging to her.

And the longing didn't stop with a baby. The man she could barely hold a conversation with, the man she couldn't get off her mind was avoiding her just as well as she avoided him. She missed their comradery, their friendship, and had a terrible feeling things would never be the same between them. It seemed they would rather ignore the issues between them instead of work through them.

She rubbed her face, felt the stress of the last few weeks taking its toll. Maybe some fresh air and some dry land would do her some good. She definitely needed something good in her life.

* * *

_So this chapter didn't play out as I had planned, and ended up being a bridge chapter. I know, I know, I posted that sneak peek on my tumblr, please don't be mad it's not here! Don't you readers worry, I am DEFINITELY using it in the next chapter. I could have written for days on this chapter, but I want to make sure to keep you guys wanting ;) hehehe! Soooo Chapter 12 will be coming along soon! _

_Thank you for the incredible reviews! The reception of chapter 10 was a little slower than normal, I hope I haven't lost any readers. If I've done something wrong, please let me know. Nothing is irreversible or irrevocably broken, I can adjust to keep you enjoying the story! If I'm headed in the wrong direction, or something seems out of character, please tell me. I'm working very hard on this for y'all and I want to make sure you're enjoying it. _

_I promise, there will be some really great scenes in the next chapter. At least I think they're great! _

_Thank you for reading and reviewing, always!_


	12. Chapter 12

_I am really spoiling y'all with updates these days..._ _XD_

* * *

Rachel stepped onto the rocky coastline of the island, felt at ease. The sun was setting, the breeze was chilly, but the air felt incredible. She felt like she was being cleansed. She took a deep breath and began toward the large group of sailors, enjoying themselves as a couple of them played guitar, and Lt. Granderson sang along. She walked up to the large circle of people, a bonfire in the middle, and plenty of dancing going on all around.

Unintentionally, out of pure instinct, her eyes searched the crowd for one particular person. She spotted him yards away, playing what appeared to be tag with Ashley, Sam, and Ava. The kids were shrieking with laughter, and the scene brought an instant smile to her face. He lifted Sam up over his shoulder and spun him around, the girls laughing hysterically. It warmed Rachel's soul to see the children, including Ava, having a wonderful time with the Captain.

She settled down on a rock a little bit outside the circle, watching the crew dance and sing, listening to the wonderful music the two on guitar played. She rested her chin in her palm, which rested on her knee, taking in all of the happiness around her. Danny and Kara danced to the slow song, her arms wrapped around his neck, his face pressed into her neck. It seemed their relationship had only blossomed since they'd been outed during the trials. She was envious.

She looked around the group again, and was disappointed she had lost Tom and the kids. Her mind drifted back to the handsome captain, she missed his smile and his laugh. She wasn't entirely sure how to go about the conversation she wanted to have with him, how to go back to being friends. She'd been thinking about it constantly, amongst other things about the man, and she wished it was so much easier. She didn't know how it could be, but she so wished it was.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a young voice crying out. She heard it behind her, surprised as the kids had been on the other side of the fire not long ago. She turned, looking around, and saw Sam on the ground a few yards away, holding his knee. She was on her feet and quickly by his side, concern evident in her actions.

"Sam! Are you all right?" She asked, her hand running over the young boy's hair soothingly. He sniffled, looking up at her, his eyes glossy with tears.

"I tripped and hit my knee on that rock," he pointed to the one a foot away, "it really hurts," he was trying so hard not to cry and Rachel admired his toughness. He got it from his father, she knew.

"I bet it did! Can I take a look?" she asked, reaching for his pant leg. He nodded, releasing his knee and letting her pull up the jean material. She couldn't see too much detail in the dull light, but she knew he hadn't done any real damage. A small cut was on the knee cap, and she blew across it, helping to sooth the sting. "Looks like just a scrape, though you'll have a bruise in the morning. Do you want to go back to the ship for ice?" She didn't mind tending the boy's wounds, and would take him back to the ship immediately if he asked. He sniffled and shook his head, not ready to give up his fun. She grinned. "You're a brave one, you know that?" She encouraged, standing and helping him up.

"My dad tells me that all the time," he spoke proudly, his tears forgotten, his spirit lifted. She smiled at the young child warmly.

"I bet he does," she leaned a little closer, indicating a secret. Sam eagerly leaned in. "You get that from him," she winked at him, and the small boy stood a little taller with a bright smile.

"Thanks Dr. Scott!" he exclaimed, before running off to find his sister. Rachel wrapped her arms around herself and watched him, an overwhelming sense of adoration coming over her for the children.

"You're good with them," a deep voice caught her off guard, and as she turned, she saw Tom's father walking toward her. She grinned, her cheeks turning pink.

"They're wonderful children," she replied, not responding directly to his comment. She took it to heart, though, happily.

"They really are," he nodded. She noticed how much healthier he looked since the last time she'd seen him. Tom definitely got some of his good looks from the older man. A new tune began, a slower one than the previous, and he outstretched his elbow. "Care for a dance, Dr. Scott?" he asked with that charisma she'd seen on Tom before. Her laugh was heartfelt and real, as she impulsively looped her arm through his.

"Sure. Please, call me Rachel," she replied, allowing him to lead her out to the area where many people were dancing in pairs. She placed her hand on his shoulder, as he took her other hand and placed on high up on her back.

"Only if you call me Jed," he replied playfully.

"Fair enough, Jed," she replied equally as playful. They danced in a small circle, rocking easily to the music.

"So what's your story, Rachel?" It was a simple question that she didn't entirely know how to answer simply.

"I'm a doctor, a paleomicrobiologist. I've traveled extensively, I love Italian food, a good book, and a glass of red wine," she wasn't sure how to answer, so she played it safe.

"Husband? Kids? Dog?" he asked, assessing her reaction. She threw her head back and laughed, for some reason finding his question laughable.

"No, no. Haven't found any time for that," she replied, her voice giving away her regret. He eyed her, reading her.

"Really? A woman dedicated to her profession. All right," he was thoughtful for a moment, "My son tells me you single-handedly created the cure to the Red Flu," he told her, as she laughed again, this time raising her eyebrows in surprise.

"Don't believe everything he says," her laughter quieted and she looked down, her cheeks warm from the attention. Jed didn't look worried.

"He speaks very highly of you," he countered, spinning her around. She settled back in his arms, but stayed quiet. "Admires your work," he added, choosing his words carefully. Tom talked about this woman a lot, Jed had to see whether she was as charming as Tom made her out to be. So far, he was taken by her. And from the look on his son's face several feet away, watching them, so was he.

Tom watched her dance with his father, watched her throw her head back in laughter at something Jed said. Her hair was down, a rare occurrence, and it flowed in the light breeze. She looked relaxed, like she was enjoying herself even. Jed spun her around to the catchy tune that filled the air. His crew was quite talented on guitar, but Tom didn't hear it, he was too distracted by her.

He watched them talk, wondered briefly what his father could possibly be telling her, what stories he could be sharing. He took a drink of the cup of water in his hand, his throat suddenly dry.

He missed her, longed to talk to her. They were playing this battle of wits, both avoiding the other. He knew his reasons for avoiding her, imagined hers were different. Kissing her and then telling her to get out was probably a good place to start the apologizing, he thought ruefully. And maybe explaining why he'd been so upset about her behavior, going off ship against his wishes. He wasn't worried about her; he was worried about all the things that could happen to her. If he lost her….his heart ached at the thought. He'd already lost so much.

The slow song ended, and a more upbeat tune began. Several people clapped along, and Tom watched his crew, his family, enjoying themselves. Alisha had an incredible voice, and mixed with a few of the male crew singing along with her, it was a nice blend. He looked away from the crowd to see Rachel rocking to the music, clapping along, and staring directly at him. He couldn't read her expression, but her eyes were locked on his. Sam popped up from between her and Jed, and she broke the eye contact, laughing down at his son. The feeling in his chest, the feeling in his heart, he couldn't explain it to himself, or chose not to even. He just couldn't stop watching her.

The girls appeared beside her then, and Rachel felt settled and comfortable between the three children and Tom's father. The girls sang along, their arms linked. Ashley, who was standing closest to her, linked her arm through hers, and Rachel grinned down at the child. She looked up to catch Tom's eyes again, intense from across the crowd and the fire, the warm flames lighting him up enough for her to see the soft grin on his features. She was taken aback by the look he was giving her.

Jed watched the two, neither of which noticed. He knew they only saw each other in this moment, and he could tell that there was something between them. He planned on asking Tom about it later, when they headed back to the ship. Sam leaned against him and yawned. He knew what that meant.

"You ready for bed, buddy?" He asked Sam, rubbing his back. Sam reluctantly nodded, his eyes heavy. Ashley yawned, followed by Ava. Ashley leaned into Rachel, who wrapped her arm instinctively around the little girl. Ava leaned on her other side, and Rachel enjoyed the feeling of being needed. When she looked up Tom was before her. He smiled kindly at her, noted how neither of his children moved to him, content where they were. He was pleased by their relaxed demeanor.

"Looks like we've got some worn out kiddos," he observed, ruffling Sam's hair.

"I'll take them back to the ship, you two enjoy your evening," Jed glanced at his watch, and then back at Tom. "The night is still young," the wink Jed gave his son was not lost on Rachel. She blushed.

"Really, Dad, I can take them back," Tom offered arguably. Jed shook his head and Tom knew the decision had been made. Even at forty-one, he knew better than to argue with the retired Army Ranger.

"Come on kids, say goodnight to your father," Ashley left Rachel's side to hug her father, Sam following suit. Quincy and Kelly were aboard ship, enjoying some alone time, Rachel knew they'd be expecting Ava soon anyway. The children shared 'I love yous' and 'goodnights' with their father, before following Jed back to the rib waiting to transport people back to the ship. Rachel and Tom stood awkwardly for a long moment, neither saying anything.

Rachel noted the way Tom looked younger tonight, in his casual clothes, his hands tucked deep in his pockets now. The uniform mixed with his gray hair made him look distinguished. Tonight, in the dusk and fire light, he looked several years younger and more relaxed.

"You want to take a walk?" Tom suggested, a little shrug to his shoulders. Rachel glanced up at his handsome face and nodded.

"Okay," she replied, letting him pick the direction and the pace. They walked in silence for a few minutes. She was enjoying his presence alone, just the feeling of him next to her was enough for now. After a bit, she spoke first. "Your children are really great," she offered, chancing a glance up at him as they strolled. He smiled.

"Thank you. Darien raised them well," he replied, his voice sounding distant. Rachel presumed it was because he was thinking of the past. She chose to ignore it. "I was gone a lot, she worked really hard to make sure they were well adjusted."

"They are," she assured him. "What would have been your next career move after this mission, had all gone to plan?" She asked curiously.

"I would have been promoted to rear admiral, taken a desk job with the Pentagon. That was the plan, anyway," he laughed ruefully, "This is definitely a little more exciting."

"Well, that's putting a positive spin on it," she laughed a little, wrapping her arms around herself, the chill in the air seeming to go right through her button down cotton jacket. He looked down at her, her porcelain skin lit up by the moon. She was beautiful tonight.

"Everything happens for a reason," he responded, and though it sounded cliche, he believed it. There had to be a reason behind why he lost his wife, why all this had happened. As he watched Rachel walk beside him though, he was pretty sure he knew at least one reason, as hard as it was sometimes to think about.

They walked in silence again, Rachel thinking about all the things she wanted to say to Tom, all the thoughts running through her head. She wanted to talk about the kisses they'd been sharing, the feelings that sat in the pit of her belly. But the words just wouldn't come out.

"So," Tom began tentatively, deciding to push himself to get it off his chest, "I'm.. sorry I kissed you," he forced out, the words carrying more weight than he could comprehend. Was he really sorry? How did he mean that statement? Even he wasn't sure.

Rachel sucked in a breath, surprised by the admission, and surprised by the way her stomach dropped. He was sorry? "Oh," was all she could squeak out. She had thought through this conversation starting all sorts of ways, but never like this.

"It wasn't the right way to handle the situation, or an appropriate response to my being upset with you," Tom got the words out, but was beginning to wish he hadn't said anything, as she remained quiet. "All it has done is create animosity between us, and we can not function on board the ship in this fashion." Really, he just missed her. He couldn't find the words to say that though.

His professional tone reappeared, and she had to bite her tongue before she said something she'd regret. She took her time formulating a response, was having trouble finding the right words. "I understand," she replied softly. Tom couldn't read the meaning behind her words.

He stopped walking, needed to see her face, needing to know all was well. She stopped along side him, and he silently begged for her to look up at him. When she did, he couldn't read her reaction. "Will you accept my sincerest apologies?"

He wore that lop-sided boyish grin that made her weak in the knees. She couldn't be mad at him, anger was not a feeling she had when it came to this man. "I suppose I also owe you an apology for kissing you in the ward room," she mumbled, as if against her will. She finished the words with a small smile, "I accept your apology."

"And I accept yours," he chuckled a little, his expression was one similar to relief. He stuck out his hand. "Friends?" He needed her to say yes, needed her agreeing that this was the best way to handle everything. A beat passed before she accepted his hand, shaking it, relishing in the warmth the strong hand provided.

"Friends," she agreed, finding it deep within herself to smile at him. She couldn't be mad, realistically, how could anything become of their friendship at this point anyway? Not too mention, fraternization was banned on such ships, not that the rule had stopped Danny and Kara from falling in love and conceiving a child. She shushed her busy mind.

They began walking back toward the group, which was a good distance away. "Pretty neat seeing the baby today," he started up the casual conversation, wanting to ensure they were okay. A grin spread across her pretty face.

"Very much so. I'm not so sure how the birth will go aboard a destroyer, but we have six more months to figure it out," she laughed a little and he enjoyed the sound more than he thought he should.

"Did you ever want children?" He asked curiously. She giggled.

"Your father asked me almost the same question," she replied softly. Tom made a mental note to ask his father about that. "I always have, still do. It's just never been the right time, or the right person," she spoke softly, chancing a glance up at him. He looked thoughtful. "It's probably not in the cards for me, at this point," she added, in light of everything they were going through, and that the world was experiencing.

"You never know," he shrugged, his mind playing out a picture of a pregnant Rachel. He shook his head to remove the imagine, couldn't go there.

She laughed, "I'm not sure the Nathan James can take more than one infant."

"If it's our home now, we should probably start making it more accepting and accommodating of those types of things. It's bound to happen," he shrugged again, and she found herself over analyzing his words.

"Let's just see how everything goes with Kara," she replied, uneasy with the idea.

They made their way back to the ribs, silently both deciding it was time to head back. She took a seat, as he stood above her, unconsciously stationing himself there to shield her from the cold wind on the ride back. Both played their conversation over in their minds, neither necessarily content with the others words. Tom was internally conflicted, while Rachel knew it was only a matter of time before being around the Captain became unbearable due to her growing feelings.

_Friends,_ she said the word in her mind with disappointment. It would have to be that way for now, she decided. It was better than nothing.

They climbed aboard the _Nathan James_, and walked through the helo bay door, into the lab. She checked on her work as he waited patiently to walk her to her stateroom, ever the gentleman. They walked shoulder to shoulder as far as they could go, before he dropped behind her, following her closer than he should have been. The scent of her was still very vanilla, but a new spice had joined it, and he'd spent most of their walk subconsciously trying to decide what she smelled of now. He enjoyed it, more than he knew he should.

She stopped in front of her door, leaning on the handle. "Thank you for the escort, Captain," she spoke, looking up at him. His gaze down at her was soft, sweet even.

"You're welcome, Rachel. Please, call me Tom. I think we're above titles now," he replied, surprising her with his request. She nodded. Him saying her name gave her chills. It was so out of the ordinary.

"Okay, Tom," the word slipped of her lips easily, and was music to his ears. "Goodnight, then," she turned toward the door, and he found himself grabbing her arm instinctively.

She looked down at this hand and back up at him, her eyes questioning.

"Meet me for coffee in the morning? On the east bridge wing, at sunrise? The view is exceptional," he fought the urge to kiss her, shamed himself for having just apologized for it, now wishing he could take it back. Instead, her company would just have to suffice.

This man was making it his job to confuse her feelings, she decided. There was no way she was declining his invitation though, ever. "Of course," she replied immediately, barely taking a moment to think about it.

He grinned down at her, releasing her arm slowly, his fingers brushing along her skin. "Great," he spoke, his tone exposing his pleased demeanor. "I look forward to it," He turned to leave, giving her one last smile, "Goodnight, Rachel," he murmured.

She could feel her insides melt. "Goodnight, Tom."

* * *

_I'm really proud of this chapter...just sayin'! I really hope you guys enjoyed this! _

_Please know I really have no reference for the Navy jargon I've used other than the research I've done, which is not too extensive due to my updating time frame. Bear with me, don't judge. I am not military, and am going off a lot of what I see and hear on the show. A disclaimer I should have used in the beginning!_

_HPfangirl13-I hope this satisfied your craving for some bonding! We'll see more, though, so don't worry!_

_Thank you to xUndomiel-Evenstarx for her incredible help with Rachel and her British talk! :) _

_I am really excited to keep on moving with these two! Keep the PMs and sweet reviews coming! They are very helpful when it comes to writing these chapters. _

_Thank you for reading and reviewing! XO_


	13. Chapter 13

Rachel leaned against the metal railing, staring out at the trail of waves the ship left behind. The sun had already set, and they were headed back south. She'd heard rumblings they were going to attempt to stop in Virginia or South Carolina, looking for easy-to-access Naval bases. Docking wasn't necessarily an option due to safety, but they could send a team in to assess the situation on land in those areas.

It had been a few days since Maine, a few days since her slightly disappointing conversation with the Captain on land. They'd shared coffee together the next morning, but her spirits were down. He'd apologized for kissing her; it was a small slap in the face. Then again, she hadn't meant to kiss him in the ward room that night, and was still consumed with guilt. But that didn't change the fact that she had enjoyed it, more than she could really admit to herself for fear of her feelings taking over. She was beginning to become a professional at keeping them at bay.

She thought back to their conversation while watching the beautiful sun rise over the desolate Maine island.

_As she walked up behind him, she admired his Navy issued sweatpants, paired with sneakers, and his large Navy hoodie. He looked like he was headed for the gym. She walked up next to him, snuggled in her big gray sweater, long sleeve shirt underneath, and black cotton leggings. She had changed three times. Since when did she care what she wore? _

_He smiled down at her with his trademark smile and her heart skipped. Why did he have to be so handsome? He needed to tone it down, she laughed inwardly at her distractedness. _

"_I'm glad you came, I was starting to get worried," she wondered what he meant by that statement. Worried she wouldn't show? Worried about her? _

"_I'm sorry I'm late," was her only reply. If she hadn't changed, she would have been on time. She looked out over the horizon and took in the beauty. She could feel his eyes on her and when she chanced a glance, he looked away at the view. She couldn't read the man next to her this morning. Just when she had thought she was beginning to understand him, he turned the tables and she was back in the dark again. A large sigh escaped her lips. _

She had enjoyed his company immensely, but when they'd parted ways, she hadn't realized it would be for the next few days. They'd passed here and there on the ship, but for the most part, they were both busy with their own duties.

She had heard from some sailors that his birthday was coming up. They were planning a small party, hoping to be able to bake a small cake. Something to celebrate, and show their captain their appreciation. She thought it was sweet, had asked to be informed of the plans.

She took a deep breath, inhaling the salty scent of the air. She heard footsteps behind her, and was surprised to find Jed stepping up beside her. She was disappointed it wasn't someone else.

"Good evening, Rachel," Jed greeted, handing her a cup of warm liquid. She smelled the chamomile tea and smiled in thanks. "Saw you standing out here and thought I'd bring you something warm. It's chilly out," he paused to take in the view. "Might help you sleep too. You leave something behind in Maine?" His words intrigued her, and somehow she knew she had been caught.

"Not anything I could carry," she replied just as cryptically, not meeting his eyes. He nodded knowingly.

"Tom met Darien when he was headed for Annapolis. He was eighteen, she was sixteen. They began a long distance relationship, that blossomed into a real love when he graduated. She was meant to be a military wife, embraced it. He was gone for months at a time, and she never complained. She worked as a teacher on base." Rachel listened to his words silently. She wasn't sure where he was going. "Ashley was born healthy. Tom lived to be a father, despite his time away. He came home just in time for Sam's birth, five weeks premature. I think the stress of Tom's seven month deployment, while Darien tried to raise a three year old alone had something to do with it. He's strong like his father though, came out all right," he paused to take a sip of his tea. "I see the way he looks at you, anyone would be blind not to. But _he_ doesn't see it. He's only really been with Darien. If there's one thing my son is, it's loyal. To a fault."

Rachel hung off his every word, took it all in. She remained silent, unsure of how to proceed. Jed continued.

"They were together a long time, he's going to be forty-two years old. Give him some time, Rachel. This is all new ground for him," he squeezed her arm and gave her a small encouraging smile before heading back inside. She looked down at the water, then up at the stars. Jed had figured out her feelings for Tom, despite her denial of them to herself. And she took comfort in the fact that Jed seemed to suggest Tom felt something for her. The feelings she had gotten when they kissed, they couldn't have been nothing on his end, or he wouldn't have done it again. Maybe Jed was right, he was just confused. She closed her eyes, rubbed her forehead with her free hand. It was nothing she had to handle tonight, nothing she had to act on immediately. She could take it day by day. It's not as though they were really going anywhere.

* * *

"Tommy, if she'd thought you would have taught her, she would have asked," Jed eyed his son, raising an eyebrow as he watched Mike instruct Rachel on how to use the high-powered rifle. Tom stood quietly, observing. He didn't give much indication of his dismay, but then again, to his father, he didn't need to.

"Thanks for the pep talk, Pop, but I'm not fifteen," he snapped, immediately regretting his tone. Jed crossed his arms, standing shoulder to shoulder with his son.

"Could've fooled me," he chided with a chuckle, glancing sideways at Tom, who scowled. Rachel fired the gun, and the recoil sent her backwards into Mike, who was there to make sure she didn't fall. Rachel let out a shaky laugh that Tom could hear from where he was standing above, and Mike gently corrected her movements and encouraged her to try again. The way Mike touched her arm, her shoulder, made his blood pressure rise. He was frustrated by the sight and frustrated by his feelings about her. He'd been trying so hard to not let her get to him, but every time they so much as passed in the p-way, he couldn't stop the rush he felt.

* * *

Rachel winced, putting the bag of ice on her sore shoulder. Her adventures on deck had left her a nice bruise on the front of her shoulder, and she wished she'd had more muscle in that area to protect her. She stepped out of the crew lounge and bumped straight into Tom. She huffed at the pain and swore under her breath.

Tom reached to steady Rachel, noticed the way she help the ice pack to her shoulder. He tried to hide his knowing smile. When she looked up at him, he could tell she knew what he was thinking.

"Don't say anything. I don't want Commander Slattery to think I'm a wimp," she replied, a self-deprecating laugh escaping her lips.

She was embarrassed he was seeing her this way, and could feel the heat in her cheeks.

"I have something that will help. Follow me," he stepped ahead of her, and she followed dutifully. She noticed again how well he fit into his BDUs, and it was a comfortable sight. He looked so strong, so much the Captain. She followed him up to his cabin, and he opened the door for her, allowing her in. He shut it behind him. He opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a roll-on tube of BioFreeze. She practically cried with joy. "This will help ease the pain," he handed it to her, "but go easy, it's all I have left," he teased.

"Thank you. I am so relieved you have some of this. The ice hasn't been helping much," she set down the bag of ice and Tom watched her strip off her sweater. The milliseconds it took made him question what she had on underneath, and he didn't respond for a moment, gathering himself at the sight of her in her tank top. "I'll put it on here, I just need a little bit," she replied, not noticing his gaze or lack of words.

"Here, let me help," the words were out before he could stop them, and he took the roller from her, moving to her shoulder.

She sucked in a breath, surprised by his offer. His large hand rested on the back of her sore shoulder, and the feeling sent chills down her spine. Her skin warmed under his touch, her stomach flip-flopped. This is why she avoided him, she turned to mush in his presence these days, especially under his touch.

He carefully rolled the pain reliever over her bruised shoulder, taking in the feeling of her skin under his finger tips, and the smell of her shampoo. Her hair was still wet from her shower, and he had to rid the thoughts from his mind before he got himself into trouble.

The cooling feeling immediately set it, but for the most part, all she could feel was his hand across the back of her shoulder, where his fingers barely touched her neck.

"Slattery should have started you on a smaller caliber. The gun you were using had too much kick." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, wondering if he'd seen her practicing. She had asked Mike to show her how to use one in case she needed to know. He'd obliged, and she was grateful. But in retrospect, as she let the Captain roll the pain reliever over her shoulder, maybe he would have been a better choice. She hadn't thought he would have had the time to show her. "Don't worry, your muscles will get stronger and more used to it," he encouraged softly.

He brushed her skin as he removed his hand, running his fingers over the soft skin of her back. He wanted to pull her in, fought the desire to.

She didn't know what to do in that moment, she only knew she didn't want to leave his cabin just yet. "Thank you," she said again, the pain already easing. He capped it, and placed it back in the drawer.

"You know where it is now in case you need it," he grinned at her, his voice quiet, "it's our secret though, don't tell anyone," he practically whispered playfully. She laughed a little and put a finger to her lips.

"Promise," she responded, sliding her sweater back over her head. She pulled her ponytail loose of the collar of the cowl neck, shaking it out. When she looked back at Tom again, he had that same look he'd had the last time they were alone together in here, when she'd given him the vaccine. She felt warm under his gaze, felt that now familiar skip of her heart.

They locked their gaze, and they stood like that for a long moment. She didn't know what to say, couldn't break the spell he had her under, his ocean eyes pulling her in, even if his hands weren't. He took a step forward, and suddenly he was closer than she was ready for. She felt her breath hitch. Her heart raced.

Tom didn't know what he was doing, wasn't thinking consciously about his motions. He reached up, and pushed the few stray hairs she had behind her ear. He searched her eyes, searched her face for any hesitation or encouragement for him to stop what he was about to do. Who was he kidding, he wasn't sorry he had kissed her in Boston. He was only sorry he had kissed her in the heat of the moment, not soft and slow, the way she deserved to be kissed, the way he was dying to kiss her.

His knuckles ran down her cheek and she didn't move, didn't breath, afraid to break the moment. She didn't know where he was going with this, what he was doing, but she couldn't walk away now.

"Rachel," he whispered, licking his lips, "I don't know if I'm-"

The cabin door opened quickly, Ashley storming in angrily, "Dad! Sam took my book and hid it and won't tell me where it is!"

"Dad! Ashley pushed me!" Sam came rushing in after and the two adults were forced apart. Tom pursed his lips and closed his eyes in frustration, yet again their private moment interrupted. Rachel, however, immediately stepped into the parenting role, attempting to diffuse the situation.

When Tom had counted to ten, he opened his eyes to see her reasoning with both children, all three ignoring his standing motionless in the room. Each child stated its case, and Rachel encouraged a truce, as Ashley apologized and Sam went to retrieve the hidden book. He marveled in her handling of his children, her ease and patience.

She welcomed the distraction, finding herself not sure if she was ready for him to kiss her once more only to regret it after. She followed Ashley out of the room, flashing a soft smile, her hands on Ashley's shoulders. "We'll talk later," she mouthed, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

* * *

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter. _

_In my mind, and after watching many of the episodes over and over during my long hours on the treadmill, I think Rachel's feelings have grown faster than Tom's. And now, with Darien dead, I would imagine that he's still having a hard time with his. He misses his wife, but really cares for Rachel. Hence Jed's speech. I hope you all understand where I'm coming from here. _

_Please let me know your thoughts, they're a HUGE part of this story. I didn't want to play up the jealousy part too much because, though the writer's have set up moments for Rachel with Tex and even Mike, I really think she only has eyes for the Captain. _

_And I think her scene with Ava in the finale shows us how comforting she will be with the children. :) _

_Thank you for reading! Please leave a review, no matter how small! They really help me know where to take this story next! (Please leave a positive one too...the negative ones really don't make me want to continue :/ )_


	14. POLL

Hey all!

I just posted a **poll** on my profile for this story! It would mean TONS if you'd take a moment to participate! :)

Don't worry, I'm half way done with the next chapter, and you'll get an update soon, but I want to see what you think about the direction we're moving in and where we should take this story before I finish it.

I am SO honored and speechless with the reviews I've been receiving on this story. I can't believe it has 220+ reviews! You all are SO incredible and I am so taken by the time each of you give me by reviewing. Your reviews mean the world to me, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know there are still plenty of people who read and don't review-if you could leave just a few words to let me know how you're feeling, or at least take a moment to participate in the poll, it would be so greatly appreciated.

You all are amazing and I write this fic for each and every one of you! Thank you! Thank you soo much! XO


	15. Chapter 14

Rachel could feel the boat come to a stop, the engine going still. She smiled to herself, finished up her work in the lab. They were anchoring right outside Charleston Harbor, off the coast of South Carolina, to get supplies from the area. They chose Charleston due to the lack of distress calls, hoping for an easy get in-get out situation. They were still trying to decide whether docking in Norfolk was a good idea, despite having the vaccine and their diligent work to mass produce it; they were still in dangerous territory. They had learned their lesson in Baltimore, and were taking any on-shore excursions very seriously.

Rachel was happy that today was one of those days however-the Captain would be going with them. And that pleased her because she and the children had a plan. Most of the crew was also in on their plan. Tom, however, had no idea.

As soon as the captain disembarked, she'd be heading to the galley with Sam and Ashley to make a cake for Tom. It was his birthday, and the kids had asked if they could make him a cake, which turned into an impromptu planning of a surprise party. As long as no one was injured on their mission, the party would go off as soon as they were back on board with their supplies. She was thrilled they had asked for her help.

The door to the lab opened causing her to jump from her thoughts. Tom stepped through the threshold, his decontamination suit tied around his waist, his broad upper body filling out his tee-shirt in a way she didn't think anyone else could. She grinned upon seeing him.

"Happy birthday, Captain," she greeted him, the first time she'd seen him this morning. She'd been up before sunrise, preparing vaccine injections for the sailors to take ashore with them. His eyes showed her his entertainment at her words.

"Don't remind me," he chuckled, "Forty-two sounds old. Let's pretend I'm thirty-nine," he kidded, crossing his arms easily, leaning against the side of the helicopter bay where she typed away on her computer. He admired how she was always casually and comfortably dressed, today no exception, her hair pulled up into a ponytail, her face practically void of any makeup. He admired her beauty for a quiet moment. She captivated him and his thoughts.

She stopped typing, looking up at his handsome face, resting her hands under her chin.

"I think the gray compliments your features," she spoke sincerely, with a playful smile. She meant every word, his gray hair suited him. She couldn't imagine him any younger; his full jawline and distinguished appearance was handsome.

His laugh was a full one, and she could feel her smile spread farther across her face. "I've been graying for years, I think the last six months definitely didn't slow the process," his laughter turned into a sigh, before he suddenly grew serious. Her smile dropped a bit, unsure of his sudden change in demeanor.

Tom felt torn between staying aboard with his kids, and leading the crew ashore. He had been riding the fence for two days, but now, as they dropped anchor, he knew he needed to leave Slattery aboard this time and head to land himself. It was only fair.

But the kids…the thought made him sick. What if something happened to him? And what about her? He'd been talking to his father, unwillingly, about her after the night in Maine. Jed knew something was up and had no problem voicing his thoughts to Tom. Tom, on the other hand, generally kept quiet when Jed shared his thoughts. He wasn't sure if he was ready to tell her anything yet. But the more he looked at her, as she smiled up at him, he found himself drawn into her, wishing he had more time.

"I appreciate you not fighting me when I asked you not to go ashore this time," his words were heartfelt, and he meant every one, "Your staying with the kids means a lot. My father needs a break, and I feel comfortable with them under your supervision," He couldn't find the right words, couldn't bring himself to say more.

His face was so serious, and suddenly it dawned on Rachel why. "Save your goodbyes, Tom. You'll be back aboard ship for dinner," she pushed away from the desk and stood up, avoiding the conversation. She couldn't bare to think he wouldn't return with the crew. She moved to the small case, flipping the lid open to pack the supplies they might need.

Tom watched her avoid the conversation, avoid his eye contact. He took a deep breath, pushing the thoughts from his mind. If she wasn't willing to talk about it, then he wouldn't push it. He trusted his instincts, trusted his training. He knew they would most likely return unscathed, but the prospect of danger worried him.

"Very well," he replied with a sigh, accepting that she wouldn't talk more. He walked around her desk to stand beside her.

She could feel the heat that radiated from him, felt her hairs stand on end. Her entire being turned into a ball of nerve endings. Being so close to him had that effect on her lately.

"Hey," he touched her elbow gently, and she looked up at him, turning a little toward him. She cocked her head to the side, taking in his expressive features. His eyes were soft as he gazed down at her, "Can we talk..later? When I get back?" his eyes were questioning her, and she felt worry rise in her chest.

"Of course," she replied quickly, forgetting about their celebration. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah..yes, everything is fine," he was also quick to respond, to squash any worry she had. "I just…want to catch up with you," he again couldn't find the right words, but by the ease in her eyes, she seemed to accept his statement.

"Of course," she smiled warmly, a small bubble of butterflies building in her stomach. "You know where to find me," she held his gaze, his eyes a magnet for her.

He searched her face, couldn't pull his eyes away. Her beauty had him transfixed. It seemed she was able to distract him from everything these days, with just one look.

"Good. I'll see you later then," he stood awkwardly for a moment, and she wasn't sure if he was going to hug her or something else, before he stepped off with a smile, heading back through the hatch and out to catch the boats.

She watched him go and prayed he would safely return. The days that passed brought them closer together, professionally and otherwise. He occupied so much of her thoughts, she could sometimes barely sleep. If something happened to him...the devastation would be irreparable. It surprised her to realize that.

She chose not to think about what ifs, focused on the day ahead, and what their conversation would entail later that night.

* * *

"And that, my dears, is how you make a scone," she pulled the warm pastries from the oven to the sounds of joy from the kids. They'd been baking all afternoon. She had been surprised by the amount of baked goods the DDG actually had, and they had ended up making an assortment of treats. Rachel had been worried about the powdered eggs and powdered milk at first, but after their first attempt at a cake had turned out well, they had proceeded to make brownies and scones, along with two other cakes. There wasn't enough for everyone on board, but there would be plenty of food, she knew.

The kids were having a blast; this their first normal experience aboard the ship. They talked of baking with their mother, which Rachel found sweet. Even Ava had joined in on the fun; she and Ashley were becoming quite good friends. Rachel had let each child mix their own ingredients, teaching them about measuring and the care that went into each dessert.

She thoroughly enjoyed the kids, was beginning to get attached. She could feel it in her soul. She'd been spending more and more time with them over the days, getting to them individually. Ashley was interested in the lab, and how things worked, while Sam just needed motherly company. They both missed their mother more than they would say out loud to her, but when they would lean on her shoulder while they watched a movie, or ask her for help with something, she knew they wished she was someone else. But she understood their loss, and knew it was nothing personal. At least she could be there along the way to offer what comfort she could.

Ashley tasted a little of the butter cream frosting, and wide grin spreading across her face. "Daddy is going to love this," she exclaimed, proud of her achievement.

"Rachel, do you really think he's going to be surprised?" Sam asked, glancing up from his work frosting one of the cakes. Rachel smiled at him sweetly.

"Oh yes, Sam. I don't think he has any idea this is coming," Rachel replied excitedly, leaning her elbows on the counter, watching the kids.

"Thank you for helping us, Rachel," Ashley spoke sincerely, her brown eyes wide and innocent. Rachel's heart swelled at the words.

"It is my pleasure."

* * *

_I know, I know, it's super short, but I am really struggling with the next part. Do y'all even want to read a bit about the party, or would you rather I just skip to their convo? Or maybe I'll bring in some action. Anyone have any ideas they'd like to contribute?_

_The poll results were interesting! 13 of you chose to keep things going as is, 9 of you want action, 7 would like fluff and 3 don't care either way. I am so touched that 29 of you voted! Thank you for your help! I'm working on a plan now, where we're headed._

_I'm posting another poll tonight, since the first was so successful. If you'd vote, it'd be greatly appreciated._

_I'm bringing some Slattery into the next chapter, I know KimmyH and a few others will enjoy it :)_

_Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, despite the length of the chapter. I don't have a ton of time over the next two weeks to write, but I assure you that I will update as much as I can. I'm hoping for at least one more chapter before the 20th._

_You guys are incredible with the reviews and support! Keep 'em coming! They're very very motivating!  
_

_PS if any of you guests want to let me know what you are feeling about the poll question, it is "Do you guys want to read about Danny, Kara, and the baby?" I have a scene (it's definitely some Tom/Rachel too) about Kara and the baby, and I want to write it in, but again, I don't want to bore anyone. Thanks for thoughts!_


	16. Chapter 15

_**These chapters don't seem to ever go in the direction I intend for them to. I really hope you enjoy this chapter though, I think it's one of my favorites...**_

* * *

"Dr. Scott," Lt. Granderson entered the kitchen suddenly, finding Rachel and the children cleaning up after their fun afternoon. Rachel looked up from her work moving the brownies onto a platter, and felt her smile fall at the look on Alisha's face. "XO needs you on the bridge," she didn't reveal anything else, the children's round innocent eyes staring up at her curiously. Rachel nodded immediately. She turned to Ashley.

"Ashley, please finish plating these brownies. I will be back shortly," she offered the young girl a confident smile, who nodded and moved to step in for Rachel. Rachel wiped her hands on a towel and followed the young lieutenant up to the bridge where Mike was hovered over the Captain's chair, calling something on the radio. When he turned to face her, Rachel could tell he was stressed.

"Commander Slattery, what's going on?" She searched his face, a deep fear rising in her chest. He avoided her eyes.

"We've lost contact with the Captain, as well as Lt. Green's team. I wanted to keep you in the know since you're watching his kids," when he finally locked eyes with her, she could tell he knew there was more to it than her just watching his children. She felt her face pale.

"Well, what are you going to do? Can we send another team? Are we sure they are in danger?" The panic was evident in her voice. He chewed on his cheek, showing his unsureness.

"They weren't headed so far inland that we were prepared to lose contact, and no, I don't know if they're in danger. I think sending another team now is too soon. That doesn't mean I'm not nervous as hell," his response didn't give her much comfort.

"Don't they have flares? Like they did in Nicaragua?" She was desperate for anything good. Mike grimaced.

"No, because we didn't intend on losing them," he rolled his eyes at the stupidity that was the situation. They should always be prepared for anything, especially when their Captain was involved. This was supposed to be a quick mission, get what they needed and get back to the ship. Nothing ever went to plan, it seemed.

"So what do we do now?" Rachel replied, exasperated. Who knew what dangers were on land, anything could be going on that they knew nothing about.

"We wait. Hopefully they move back into radio range soon," he turned from the radar to face her again, this time, his eyes conveying comfort. "I know Tom, he's got this under control. It'll be okay," Rachel wasn't sure if he was reassuring her or himself, but she chose to accept his offer of confidence in his captain, and hope he was right.

* * *

Hours passed with no word. She kept the children busy as best she could, but they were too excited to keep distracted for long, waiting impatiently for their father's return. They speculated all day what their father's reaction would be upon entering the mess for his surprise party, and her heart warmed at the love and complete adoration they had for Tom. Despite the loss of the their mother, they were pushing on and living, enjoying life. She suspected Tom's never ceasing faith and love had something to do with it. If he didn't return...she pushed the thoughts away once more, for the umpteenth time today.

Jed found them on the front of the ship, the kids playing cards in the bright sun, Rachel sitting just a bit away, observing and worrying. He took a seat next to her, sliding a pair of sunglasses on.

"Any news?" she asked anxiously. His silence upon sitting told her there wasn't any, but she had to ask.

He shook his head. "No, nothing yet."

"I haven't told the kids yet. Figured we'd wait until dark," She pulled her sweater tighter around her, the anxiety of not knowing eating away at her. She dreaded the unknown, feared the worst. She should have gone with them. What if he was hurt? They had no medical personnel with them. She worried about all the uncontrollables, she couldn't help herself.

"He'll be back, Rach. I'm hoping it was something stupid; we're too far out in the harbor, or they went farther inland than they had anticipated. There's an air force base a little farther north. They may have went in that direction." She could hear the unsure tone in Jed's voice, but appreciated his words.

Jed watched her watch the children, could see the worry lines across her pretty face. She had taken to the children as if they were her own in recent days, it was a quiet change, but she made herself present in their lives. He admired her easiness with them, her calm demeanor. Tom had mentioned she could get wound up about her work, she was a passionate soul, but with the children, she was soothing and calm. Tom tended to be the more high-strung one when it came to the kids. She reminded Jed of Darien in that way. She had a way about her with the kids. She also had a way about her when she handled Tom.

"So," he changed the subject a little, "how's everything else going?" the small smile on his lips confused her a little.

"I'm sorry?" she questioned, not sure what he meant.

"Everything else. Has my stubborn son come around yet?" Jed cracked a knowing smile and Rachel laughed outloud, her cheeks growing red.

"Um, no," she shook her head, "We're just friends, Jed. Nothing more," she assured the older man, who raised his eyebrows.

"I find _that_ hard to believe. You may think you're just friends, keep on thinking that. He'll come around eventually," he added, with a chuckle.

"I think we've got enough going on," she replied, biting her lip thoughtfully, staring at the children.

"They like you. Accept it. It's a compliment."

"Yes, but they're fragile. They can't have their hearts broken once more," she replied. He wasn't sure if she meant by their father not returning or if it didn't work out between them.

"Who's to say it won't work out?" he countered.

"Who's to say it will?" she replied right back. He remained silent for a moment, and she gathered her thoughts. Truth was, she couldn't afford to have her heart broken. But the longer they went without contact from him, the more her heart ached. What if she was never able to tell him how she felt?

"At the risk of sounding like a parent, you never know until you try," he spoke with a grin. He could tell deep down she was fighting it, it was obvious. And he knew Tom was too. But with a little encouragement, he was confident they could take a small leap of faith. They already had that mutual respect and friendship, that bond that blurred lines, an undeniable chemistry.

"I am sure the last time I heard that statement, I ended up with skinned knees from falling off of my bicycle," she replied with a laugh. He laughed with her, the image entertaining.

"And now you're saving the world. You didn't know you could do that until you tried, did you?" He smiled triumphantly, happy with his argument. She scoffed, laughing a little.

"Touche'" she nodded, accepting his words.

"You don't really seem like a 'what if it fails..' type of girl," he added, studying her face. She dropped her head, chewing the inside of her cheek.

"Not when it comes to science. But relationships...those are a bit different."

Jed shook his head. "You're just as stubborn as he is. Maybe you're right, it wouldn't work," the tone in his voice dropped, and she turned to look at him, surprised.

"Who says two stubborn people can't be in a relationship?" She replied quickly, before the words could be stopped. His face broke into a smile and she knew she'd been caught. She rolled her eyes. "Well played, Mr. Chandler."

"When you're wondering where Tom gets his wit from..." This time she let out a true laugh. This man was a good man, and showed where Tom came from. He was raised very well. She admired his family and how important they were to him and he was to them.

"Tell me about when Tom joined the Navy. You were Army, correct?" Rachel turned to face Jed, drawing her knees up to her chest on the bench, wrapping her arms around her legs. The older man reared back, his expression changing to one of irritation that drew another laugh out of her.

"Oh, that brat had the nerve to come home his senior year of high school and tell me he was joining the Navy instead of the Army. I was so upset. Let me start from the beginning..."

* * *

Tom rolled his neck as he made his way down the p-way to the kids' cabin. It was an exhausting, trying day, and he could see the toll their lack of communication had on their crew. Their run-in with the Air Force had cost them their radios and guns for a better part of the day, but in the end there were released with the supplies they needed, the ability to get fuel, in exchange for the syringes of the cure they'd been carrying.

Tom was tired, but still on a mission. He needed to see his kids, his father, and her. He needed to see Rachel. Mike had carried a small smirk when he'd told Tom of the repercussions his missing in action had caused her, her worry for him. It pained him to cause her worry, but it also gave him a good indication of how she felt about him. Mike's knowing grin had helped that cause, as well.

He pushed open the door to the cabin his father shared with the kids, and found Jed alone, reading. Jed looked up, slight surprise on his face, but also an expectant look. He pulled his reading glasses off to get a better look at his tall son.

"Well hello, son. Nice of you to rejoin us," his smile let Tom know he was actually happy to see him, despite his teasing remark. Tom dropped his head with a small laugh.

"It's been a long day, Pop," he replied, asking not to be teased this evening. Jed could tell from the slight black eye and bruise growing prominent on Tom's jaw that it had probably indeed been a rough day. Jed laughed.

"You have this knack of getting yourself into trouble," he replied, with a fatherly grin. Tom chuckled.

"I know, I know. It's not as bad as it looks." He glanced around the cabin, "where are the kids?" he asked curiously, finding it hard to believe they were still awake somewhere at this time. Jed gestured past Tom to his own cabin with his glasses.

"They're in your cabin. They've been dying for you to come back today. We only told them a short while ago we weren't sure when you'd be back. They're with her," he added the last part, a knowing look in his older eyes. Tom nodded his gratitude, turning and crossing the hall quickly. He turned the knob, pushing open the door quickly.

The lights were off in the main area, illuminating the three souls on his bed. He noticed the large, hand-drawn card on the desk as he passed, a cake with candles waiting to be lit before it. A sweet smile crossed his face, imagining the children had been so excited to share in his birthday. He felt sad for a moment, having taken that moment from them. But when he turned back to the bed, he felt his heart swell.

Sam had his head on Rachel's stomach, arm around her waist, fast asleep. Ashley was snuggled against her shoulder where Rachel was propped up on pillows, her arms wrapped around Rachel's arm. Rachel lay between the two, her head turned slightly to the side, also fast asleep. He leaned against the frame for a moment, wishing to capture this moment forever.

The kids had taken to Rachel in a way no one could have predicted. And she always took time for them, spent time with them, had slid into a motherly role no one would have anticipated. If he had any reservations about talking to her about what he'd been feeling lately, this display before him put his heart at ease. All three of them snuggled together on his bed reminded him of past moments in his life, but also of what could be.

He moved forward, sitting on the side of the bed. His hand found her leg, stretched out on the bed, and he rubbed it gently with his thumb. When she began to stir, he noticed the way she squeezed her arm around Sam, pulling him closer. She opened her eyes slightly, tilting her head to face him. The relief and surprise that crossed her face immediately was all he needed to see. Her eyes watered a little, he could see the sheen, and squeezed her leg again, in comfort.

"Hi," he whispered, his eyes locked with hers. She was so overjoyed to see him before her. She was so tired, had no idea how long she'd been asleep, or even what time it was, but none of it mattered. Seeing him there made everything okay, set her world at ease.

"I was so worried," she whispered back, her tears of relief threatening to fall. "Your face..."she began, her eyes searching the wounds. She didn't move, didn't rustle the kids, almost worried the moment was a dream. She was elated to see him.

"I'm fine," he brushed off her concern, giving her a smile.

His trademark grin made her stomach flipflop.

"Are they okay?" he reached up to rub Sam's back, causing a sigh from the young boy. Rachel nodded.

"They made you cakes," she replied, gesturing toward the desk. He nodded with a grin.

"I saw," he paused for a moment, locking eyes with her again. "Thank you," his words were heartfelt, she could see the honesty in his eyes. She couldn't respond, didn't respond for fear of choking up.

Tom reached down and pulled Sam up, who woke at the motion. The little boy flung his arms around his father's neck, kneeling on the bed. "Daddy!" he exclaimed, his voice full of sleep and happiness. Ashley roused from her sleep at the word, and was hugging her father before Tom could say anything. He embraced the children tightly, the love he had for them so intense it brought tears to his eyes. Rachel drew her knees up, watching the scene before her. Ashley pulled back after a few moments.

"We didn't get to celebrate your birthday," she looked sad, and it made Tom sad.

"There's always tomorrow, baby girl. We'll eat cake all day, and play games. I promise," he kissed her forehead, and pulled her close. "I think for now it's time for bed though," he released Ashley, and stood with Sam, grasping Ashley's hand. Rachel moved to stand too, but Tom turned to her.

"Can you stay here for a minute? Let me get them settled. I'll be right back." He waited for her nod, needed her to stay. She nodded after a beat, and he smiled a little, turning to take the kids to their cabin.

When he returned moments later, he shut the door, and found her in the same spot he'd left her, sitting on the edge of his bed. He pulled off his BDU jacket, untucking his tee shirt. She watched him get comfortable, sliding over a little to accommodate him on the small bed. As soon as he sat, she was inspecting his bruises, feeling for swelling and broken bones. He laughed a little, before wincing at the pressure.

"What happened today?" she pulled her hands back when she was satisfied with her exam, pulling her legs up to sit cross-legged, searching his eyes.

"I don't want to talk about that right now," he replied, reaching across to grasp her hand. She squeezed his hand back, worry written across her face. He reached up with his other hand, sliding a piece of loose hair behind her ear, running his knuckles down her cheek softly.

"Is everyone-" he placed a single finger over her lips to silence her, a sweet smile on his face.

"Everyone is fine, we all made it back in one piece. We'll talk about today tomorrow. Right now, I have to get this off my chest because it's all I've been able to think about," he took a deep breath, grasping both her hands now. Rachel held her breath, unsure of what he was about to say. He also looked unsure, nervous even. She waited, with baited breath for him to continue. Instead of talking, he released one of her hands, reached up and cupped her cheek. He leaned forward and touched his lips to hers.

The jolt of electricity that spread through her body was like wildfire, igniting every nerve ending. It was soft, his lips were encouraging, and she couldn't help herself, kissing him back. It was a sweet kiss, an innocent kiss, as if he was testing the waters. His hand slipped back into her hair, and she leaned into his mouth, encouraging him on. Kissing him was like drinking water on a hot, humid day, she couldn't get enough.

He tried to hold himself back, reining himself in to not scare her away, but when she leaned into him, he was spurred on, kissing her deeper. Her lips were so soft, he couldn't get enough of the feel. He could feel her grip his bicep with her free hand, her other hand still holding onto his hand tightly. The kiss went on as long as he could let it before he had to come up for air, leaning back just enough, resting his forehead against hers.

She leaned back to search his eyes, afraid of what she might find. But all she found was that look, the one full of want and something else...possibly love? Passion? The man before her wasn't hard to read in his uniform, but now, before her in the dim light, she was having a hard time. She tentatively ran a hand over his soft gray hair, relishing in the feel of it under her fingers. She'd been wanting to do that for some time now.

"Don't you dare say you're sorry after this," she spoke quietly in a warning tone, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips, searching his ocean blue eyes.

He found a grin, and shook his head a little. "I'm not sorry," he replied, leaning in again, and attacking her lips with his once more.

* * *

_**Reviews are fuel for the writer's soul. Please leave at least a few words. **_

_**Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter! You all are incredible. Your faith in this story is amazing, and I am so glad you all are enjoying it! I hope you liked this chapter :D**_

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_**Thank you again for reading and reviewing! I write this story for you, the readers. Thank you for the encouragement and support! XOXO**_


	17. Chapter 16 RATED M

_**Oh lord….spoiling y'all again….HUGE. And this is rated M so please don't read if it will offend you. (You could skip it and read the next chapter if you wanted to..) I would almost call this an alternate chapter...depending on the reviews, I'll keep it here, if not I'll post it separately and we'll move on from where the previous chapter left off in a non-adult fashion. Let me know your thoughts...**_

* * *

Rachel leaned back to search his eyes, afraid of what she might find. But all she found was that look, the one full of want and something else...possibly love? Passion? The man before her wasn't hard to read in his uniform, but now, before her in the dim light, she was having a hard time. She tentatively ran a hand over his soft gray hair, relishing in the feel of it under her fingers. She'd been wanting to do that for some time now.

"Don't you dare say you're sorry after this," she spoke quietly in a warning tone, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips, searching his ocean blue eyes.

He found a grin, and shook his head a little. "I'm not sorry," he replied, leaning in again, and attacking her lips with his once more.

This time the kiss was deeper, filled with more passion. Tom explored her mouth with his tongue, much like their first kiss but this time voluntarily. When she moaned against his lips, he slid his arm around her slender waist, pulling her to him. Then, without parting their lips, he laid her back gently, making sure she landed comfortably against the pillows. He unwrapped his arm, lying down beside her, propping himself up on his elbow so he was over her but not crushing her.

She ran her hand up and cradled the back of his head, her fingers toying with the hair that lay at the base of his skull. She couldn't get close enough to him, felt like her body was on fire from all the feelings rushing through her. She didn't think for once, just let herself feel and enjoy being the center of his moment, the object of his affection here and now. And boy, did it feel amazing.

Tom stretched out against her side, pulling her close. He wanted desperately to be as close to her as possible, and as she rolled to her side and threw her leg over his hip, he deduced she felt the same. He grinned a little against her lips, sliding his hand down her side and then down her tone thigh, silently cursing the material of her sweatpants. He could also feel his belt pushing into his side uncomfortably, tried to ignore the sensation. He wasn't dressed for such a moment, his BDUs not his most comfortable choice of clothing. But as much as he wanted to get out of them, he didn't want to break this moment. He had her, he had her in his arms and he wasn't letting her go.

Rachel made a breathless sigh as Tom's lips drifted from her lips to her jaw line, kisses and nips cascading down her neck. When he came back up to her lips again, he moved to the other side of her neck, giving it an equal amount of attention. Rachel wasn't sure if she couldn't breathe because he was now leaning on her or if it was because she was so caught up in the attraction, the heat, she felt for this man. She hadn't anticipated her night heading in this direction, was glad she'd showered before climbing into bed with the children to read to them, glad she'd worn a better looking pair of comfortable clothes. But as he pulled the neck of her shirt back, she shuddered, and wished she could just discard the damn piece of cotton, as it was only hindering him on his mission.

Tom attacked her shoulder, feeling more desperate by the moment. Somehow he ended up on top of her, but she bared his weight just fine, her legs parting to let him lay comfortably between them. This woman was a match for him in passion; he had known it from the moment in the hanger during their first burning encounter. And now, as she writhed below him, her nails digging into his back through his tee shirt, he was sure of it. If they didn't stop soon, he'd be showing her just how much.

Rachel impulsively slid her hands up under his shirt, across the span of his broad muscular back, and felt him moan against her. She raked her nails across, giving him good indication that the work he was doing to the soft spot under her ear was working. She felt him drive his hips into hers and she sucked in her breathe at the sensation, followed by a little giggle. She felt him chuckle against her neck.

"You all right, Dr. Scott?" he asked playfully against her skin. The vibration of his words against her and the use of her professional title sent a shiver down her spine.

"Oh yes, Captain Chandler," she replied back in a breathy tone. It seemed to spur him on and she allowed her eyes to close as he ravaged her neck. She took enjoyment out of the feel of his thick back, all the way down to his obliques, where she gripped hard when he found a sensitive spot on her clavicle. She knew her shirt would be stretched out after their escapades, but she didn't care. All she wanted was for his mouth to never leave her body, not with the way he was making her feel.

He settled back onto his knees more, reached back with both hands and grabbing hers. He pushed them up above her head into the pillows, holding her wrists gently. He pulled back to take a look at the beautiful woman below him, vulnerable and wanting, her eyes telling him just how much. He left her hands their and reached to undo his belt, the damn thing leaving a mark against his abdomen. He watched her watch him pull it through the loops and discard it. She licked her lips, and he was now sure of how turned on he was, how much he wanted this woman, in all ways.

"Rachel," he breathed against her lips, placing feathery light kisses on her swollen ones. She opened her eyes and gazed up at him. He locked eyes with her brown ones. "I'm falling for you," he began, lying back against her, his hands reaching up to grasp hers, "hard." He finished his confession, not allowing her to respond, kissing her with such fire, she thought she'd melt.

He sucked the air out of her lungs with his kiss, leaving her breathless. She needed him, wanted him. She unwrapped her legs from around his waist, reached for the hem of his tee shirt and pulled. He moved enough for her to pull it and discard it over the side of the bed, her hands reaching up to his strong chest.

He took a chance, and reached for the bottom of her shirt, and when he went to lift the hem, she easily sat up and let him discard the material. The black cotton bralette was everything he wanted to see and more, her toned midsection drawing his eyes next. He didn't know where to place his hands first, but she didn't let him decide, pushing him backward from her sitting position and climbing on top of him. His eyes widened at the sudden change in dynamic, as she kissed up from his naval to his neck, but he certainly wasn't complaining. His hands rested on her hips as she got closer, hovering just over his lips.

"And I have already fallen for you," she whispered against his lips, much in the same fashion he had done to her. He grinned up at her before she crashed her lips into his, using one hand to steady herself and the other to cup his cheek.

He allowed her to have the upper hand for a little while, before flipping them back over. It had been a long time since he'd been intimate with a woman, and over 20 years since he'd been with another woman besides his late wife. He didn't doubt his skills, but he did doubt his stamina, he knew he wouldn't last long, especially if the foreplay continued.

She seemed to read his mind, reaching for the button on his pants. He gladly removed the material, and then pulled hers off, ridding her of any clothing left between them. He grabbed a pillow from behind him as she reached for his hard length, taking it in her hand. He sucked in a breathe, felt every fiber of his being go rigid at her touch.

She admired him before her, took in the contours of his body, as he stared down at her, a small sweet smile on his face. She was surprised at how comfortable she felt, how easy this was unfolding for them. They were grown adults after all. They weren't young teenagers; this was not their first time in this situation. But they weren't taking it lightly. Though she was certain they were both enjoying themselves.

She was anticipating his next move, he could tell, but instead he held her hands, took all of her in. She was stunning; her milky skin looked like porcelain against his dark sheets. Her hair was sprawled out behind her and he could tell by the look in her eyes, she was ready for him. He ran his hands down her body before leaning over her, positioning himself, eager and hesitant all at the same time. Rachel wrapped her legs around his hips as encouragement and he didn't need any further reinforcement, he slid into her, sighing as he did so.

Rachel arched her back off the bed, noises urging him on escaping her lips. He nuzzled her neck, kissed and licked along the vein there, before kissing her fervently. She gripped his back, whimpered for more, as he obliged, giving her all that he had. He was by no means rough with her, but he was zealous and skilled, knew all the right spots to hit, all the right ways to navigate those pressure points.

It wasn't long, as he predicted, before he was close. He looked down at her, saw her parted lips, her furrowed brow, and her closed eyes, knew she wasn't far off either. "Rachel," he whispered, and she opened her eyes, the look there sated and deep. He matched her intensity, wanted to take this leap together, gripping one of her hands tightly, pushing it into the mattress. He drove deeper into her a few more times before he felt her clench around him and he couldn't hold on any longer, collapsing onto her. She bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out, and he buried his face in hers, riding the waves.

Rachel wasn't sure how long they laid there, connected, her arm wrapped around his sweaty shoulder, their hands still entwined, but she was at a loss when he shifted. He peered up at her, his face bruised and tired, but his eyes were clear and a smile lit up his handsome face. He kissed the tip of her nose, her cheek, her forehead and then her lips. She leaned up into him, relishing in his taste.

"Wow," she muttered when their lips parted. He chuckled, his cheeks turning a pinkish hue. He rolled off of her, much to her disdain, but then wrapped her up in his strong arms, pulling her back into his chest. They shared the pillow he had provided her with earlier, and he slipped kisses all long her neck. He heard her relaxed sigh, and felt more relaxed than he had in a long time. He sat up, pulling her with him, to the other end of the bed, wrapping them both up under his blankets. Both sated and at ease, neither chose to think about the magnitude of their actions, or the repercussions that could come from it. They instead took joy and comfort in their private quiet moment, knowing these were few and far between. He'd have to be on the bridge in a few hours, and she would need to check on a few cultures she had down in the lab.

But for now, it was just them.

* * *

Tom roused to rustling in the darkness. He could feel the cold spot beside him, knew she was getting dressed, no matter how much he didn't want it to be true. He flipped on the light by his bed and that brought her motions to an abrupt halt. Her hair fell over her shoulder, wild and unruly, as he blinked his eyes against the light, trying to adjust them. When he finally caught her eyes, she offered him a small smile.

"Hi," he offered. She blushed, dropping her eyes to the boots she was tying.

"Hello," she greeted, whispering. He glanced at the clock, saw it was only four hours after they'd fallen asleep. He needed to be up soon anyway.

"Where are you going?" he asked curiously, sitting up. As the blanket fell, exposing his chest, she desperately wanted to climb back in bed with him. But she couldn't.

"I need to shower and get down to the lab," he nodded, watching her braid her hair, trying to ease the untamed tresses, encourage them to look like she hadn't just been sleeping in the Captain's quarters. "If anyone asks, I was tending to your wounds," she instructed with a wry grin, knowing he didn't need to know her planned excuse. But at least now they'd have the same story in case someone caught her leaving now.

"I have another hour before I have to get up," he reached out for her hand and she obliged, letting him pull her back onto the bed. She couldn't resist his sincere smile, and those blue orbs. "You could come back to bed…" he let his words trail off, the huskiness of his voice indicating what he was thinking. She giggled, her face growing red.

"I'd love to but I do actually have to check my cultures. And you do actually need some rest," she touched his bruised eye for effect, as he winced at her touch.

"Can I come by for a checkup later?" he teased, his lips falling to her neck again. She sighed, closing her eyes. He had become a hormonal teenager overnight, and she knew if she let him, he could keep seducing her whenever he wanted. This was a side of him she didn't know, a side of him she very much wanted to know more about. She met his lips in a kiss, keeping him at bay.

"Possibly," she replied with a wink. He groaned at her, before kissing her again. "Meet the kids and me in the mess hall at 1300 for lunch?" she requested, a hopeful grin on her face. She knew what they really had planned. He returned the smile.

"Absolutely," he kissed her again, before lying back against the pillows. She stood and walked shyly toward the door.

* * *

_**Oh gosh, please be kind here. I gave this my everything, I debated on going this route, but again, I just type when I write this story and well, here we are! I'm happy with it. I hope those of you who read it are as well! They're grown adults...and there's no M rated Tom/Rachel out there so since I was the one of the first to post a fanfic for them I figured I'd be the first to take this step too, haha! **_

_**I'll try to update again this week but it might be next week before I can. Your reviews will play a big determination in whether I'm inspired to write more sooner rather than later ;) **_

_**Your reviews have been INCREDIBLE! Thank you all SO MUCH! I haven't had a chance to reply to each of your individually but I will, because you all are amazing. Thank you! Your reviews are what keep the creative juice flowing!**_

_**JOYS, I hope this was enough detail for you ;) hehe! **_

_**Again, check out my Tumblr for sneak peeks! :D**_

_**Thanks again for reading and reviewing! XO**_


	18. NOTE & Sneak Peek! Please read!

Hello all!

I hate posting another note but I'm in a bit of a pickle here, and don't want y'all to keep waiting for an update this weekend :(

My left wrist and hand were hurt on Thursday (ER visit and all), and I'm having some trouble typing, as you can imagine. They're not broken (thank goodness) but it's definitely slowing my writing progress. I'm almost done with the chapter, and I hope for the swelling and pain to be down enough to type comfortably in a few days. I know, that's a long time to wait, and you readers have been SO patient with your waiting thus far. I am SO sorry for this delay. Please know how much I appreciate the reviews and notes about how you're waiting for the update, and I promise, as soon as I can, I will update for you. You all are so incredible and I can't thank you enough for your support in this story. I am so, so thankful. Y'all are amazing!

Here's to hoping the wrist and hand heal quickly and I can get back to typing asap! (I wrote this post one-handed; it was not a quick process lol!) Thank you for your patience during this time!

XOXO

Here's a sneak peek from the next chapter:

_"Ugh, Rachel, focus," she chided herself, sighing heavily. She'd been down in the lab for three hours now, and had not gotten much done, as she was consumed by thoughts of her actions with the Captain hours earlier. The harder she tried to focus, the more she thought about his lips on her neck, his hands all over her body. She shivered again at the thought. _

_She needed to prep the mess hall for their celebration after breakfast was finished being served, and she was hoping that would help keep her mind off things. She really wanted to find him, shove him into a closet or storage room and have her way with him. That would not be productive for anyone though, except her insatiable hunger for the man. _

_The door to the lab opened suddenly, jarring her from her own world. She looked up to find the object of her thoughts shutting the door behind him, sealing it shut. She chose to pretend she was enthralled in the work on her computer and did not look up to greet him. A smile played at the corner of her lips, however._

_"Dr. Scott," he bellowed in greeting. She raised an eyebrow but continued to click around on the computer. "How is your research going?" His voice was loud, and she finally looked up, annoyed and confused as to why he was yelling at her. When her eyes met his, she saw the smirk on his lips, and the mischievous gleam in his ocean blues. _

_"Why are you yelling?" she questioned, as he spun her chair around, leaning her back against the desk. He leaned over her, placing his hands on either side of her on the desk. _

_"Shh, I'm trying to throw them off our scent," he hovered over her lips, searching her eyes. She rolled her eyes, tried to keep a straight face. _

_"I don't think anyone is on our scent, Captain," she replied, trying desperately not to fall under his spell. "No one saw me leave your quarters this morning. I'm pretty sure we're still a secret," she whispered against his lips. He grinned. _

_"We need to keep it that way," he responded in whisper, finally planting his lips to hers. It was a soft kiss, but that didn't stop Rachel from wishing it wouldn't end._


	19. Chapter 17

__Thank you all for your wonderful messages while I was healing! I am doing much better now, and am so appreciative of your patience! Your notes made me so happy, and definitely encouraged me to get this posted as soon as I could. __

__I'm excited to hear your thoughts about some of the developments in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it!__

__And thank you again for all your incredible reviews! They make me smile so much! Seriously. They're the best! Keep them coming and I'll keep the chapters coming! XO __

* * *

"Ugh, Rachel, focus," she chided herself, sighing heavily. She'd been down in the lab for three hours now, and had not gotten much done, as she was consumed by thoughts of her actions with the Captain hours earlier. The harder she tried to focus, the more she thought about his lips on her neck, his hands all over her body. She shivered again at the thought.

She needed to prep the mess hall for their celebration after breakfast was finished being served, and she was hoping that would help keep her mind off things. She really wanted to find him, shove him into a closet or storage room and have her way with him. That would not be productive for anyone though, except her insatiable hunger for the man.

The door to the lab opened suddenly, jarring her from her own world. She looked up to find the object of her thoughts shutting the door behind him, sealing it shut. She chose to pretend she was enthralled in the work on her computer and did not look up to greet him. A smile played at the corner of her lips, however.

"Dr. Scott," he bellowed in greeting. She raised an eyebrow but continued to click around on the computer. "How is your research going?" His voice was loud, and she finally looked up, annoyed and confused as to why he was yelling at her. When her eyes met his, she saw the smirk on his lips, and the mischievous gleam in his ocean blues.

"Why are you yelling?" she questioned, as he spun her chair around, leaning her back against the desk. He leaned over her, placing his hands on either side of her on the desk.

"Shh, I'm trying to throw them off our scent," he hovered over her lips, searching her eyes. She rolled her eyes, tried to keep a straight face.

"I don't think anyone is on our scent, Captain," she replied, trying desperately not to fall under his spell. "No one saw me leave your quarters this morning. I'm pretty sure we're still a secret," she whispered against his lips. He grinned.

"We need to keep it that way," he responded in whisper, finally planting his lips to hers. It was a soft kiss, but that didn't stop Rachel from wishing it wouldn't end. "I mean it," he broke from the kiss to catch her eyes, his portraying the seriousness his tone conveyed. Rachel locked eyes with him and nodded. She understood that he couldn't allow his sailors to think he was unfocused or unprofessional. And though they both knew their feelings, the crew and the children did not. And messing with anyone's thoughts and feelings but their own didn't seem appropriate or fair. If this didn't work out...Rachel knew she was getting ahead of herself. She took a deep breath.

"Of course," she replied, noting the way he reached up to caress her cheek and move a loose hair behind her ear. She smiled, shyly looking away. He did that a lot. He kissed her forehead.

"I have to get back to the bridge," he began, standing to his full height. She stood, reaching for his wounds.

"Hang on, let me take a look at your face," she gently touched the side of his eye, inspecting for any indication of serious injury. He entertained her concern, smirking while she poked and prodded his face. His jaw was sore, but he was sure he was fine. Nothing a little ibuprofen and ice couldn't help. "It seems all right," she finally spoke, her face still covered in worry. He chuckled.

"I'm fine, really. I'll come find you if I suddenly don't feel fine," he rubbed her arm gently, "Don't worry so much," he added with a wink.

She felt her cheeks warm and she laughed a little. He pulled her into his chest, and held her tightly. He knew he was walking a fine line here – everything they'd engaged in last night and now this. If they got caught...he kissed the top of her head and released her.

"I'll see you for lunch?" he confirmed. She nodded with a smile.

"We'll see you there," she shoved her hands in her pockets, trying desperately not to feel awkward. He tipped his head to her before turning for the door.

She watched him stride away, his footsteps purposeful and professional. She felt her heart swell. She was in deep, she could feel it in her soul. Hiding this was not going to be easy.

* * *

Tom read over the recent report from Lt. Chung. Mike watched him, debating on whether to bring up the conversation he needed to have with Tom. He shared a look with Alisha. They were a tight knit group, they spent many hours together on this bridge. He gathered she knew what he wanted to talk about, it wasn't as if it wasn't a secret.

Tom put the clipboard down and stood, and Mike checked the time. They were all due in the mess hall shortly.

"I'm going to grab some lunch," Tom announced to the small room. He looked at Alisha, "XO has the lead."

"Aye Aye, Captain," she replied, standing at attention. He nodded at her to be at ease, and Mike followed him toward the door.

"Captain, I think I'll join you," he spoke to his friend. Tom grinned and nodded.

"As long as you don't mind eating with the kids," he replied with a chuckle. Mike gave a small smile.

"It'll be nice. I've been missing my own lately," his voice sounded far away, and Tom suddenly faltered in his mood. Yes, he was so grateful to have his children with him. But what about his crew and their families? He hadn't yet found that answer.

They made their way down to the mess hall, Mike glancing at his watch. He hoped they were ready, as Tom was a few minutes ahead of schedule.

Tom rounded the corner into the mess hall, and before his eyes could even adjust to the large group of sailors before him, the yelling of "Surprise!" caught him completely off guard. He stepped back slightly, his heart almost jumping out of his chest. He laughed at himself, shaking his head, trying to calm his racing heart. The kids were then practically tackling him, their joy and excitement hard to contain. Rachel watched the moment, taking in the love the children had for their father. She surveyed the room then, taking in most of his crew standing before him, smiles on their faces as they watched him interact with his children. They had all been happy to participate in the moment of surprise and then the party itself. Punch had been made, cakes were ready to be served along with food and other sweet goodies. It would surely be a wonderful afternoon.

She turned her attention back to the man of honor, who was now looking around the room himself, his eyes wide, a large smile on his face. He caught her eyes briefly, stepping forward toward her but keeping a safe distance. "Lunch, huh?" he said, raising an eyebrow skeptically. Rachel shrugged.

"I'm sure there's food around here somewhere," she responded with a cheeky smile. She could feel her cheeks grow hot under his gaze. "Happy birthday Captain."

"Thank you," he spoke sincerely, before he was being tugged by Ashley and Sam over to the cakes they had proudly made him. She watched them go, before moving to make herself useful.

* * *

"So what's going on with you and Dr. Scott?" Mike stepped up next to his close friend, sipping his punch, taking note of the way Tom watched her from across the room. In light of their close call yesterday, he seemed in particularly high spirits today. Mike knew it was more than just cake and celebration. He'd known Tom way too long.

"Nothing, why?" Tom replied, nonchalant, with a grin toward his friend. Mike cocked an eyebrow.

"Well I suggest you work on your smoke and mirrors then because from where I've been standing, she's been in your crosshairs all afternoon and if you don't stop staring, everyone will soon be talking about it," Mike muttered; no sense in hiding his knowledge from his friend, not to mention covering his six. Tom turned slightly, pulling his gaze away from Rachel, where she was cutting cake. He couldn't help it; he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Even in her trademark jeans and tee shirt with her knee-high boots, she was a vision. And their actions last night were only fueling that fire.

"Heard," Tom acknowledged, a permanent grin across his features. Mike eyed his friend suspiciously. Before he could say anything further, Sam was between the two tall men. His eyes carried panic.

"Daddy, Ashley just said we won't have a tree for Christmas this year because trees don't grow on ships," Sam's bottom lip was quivering and it broke Tom's heart. He ran a hand over the boy's head. Mike watched the motion and felt a tug on his own heart strings at the loss of his own son.

"Buddy, I promise we'll find a way to get you a tree. What's Christmas without a tree?" Tom gave his son a reassuring smile and that seemed to lift Sam's spirits.

"Can I tell Ashley?" He asked, needing to prove to his sister that she was wrong. Tom laughed, nodding.

"Of course, tell her," he gestured toward where Ashley was helping Rachel and Sam ran off to tell her the good news. Tom watched the scene from afar, the excitement on Ashley's face, the way Rachel clapped her hands at Sam's news, her own enjoyment of the news clear.

"Hey Tom, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about," Mike began, almost tentatively. Tom turned back to his XO, questioning in his gaze.

"Everything okay, Mike?" He asked, concern evident in his voice.

"I'd like to take leave, look for my family," Mike began. It was not a decision he had taken to lightly, leaving his Captain and crew to head inland was not an easy thought. "If Christine is still in Deer Park, it's 14 hours inland from Norfolk," he paused, waiting to see if Tom would speak. His friend stared down at his drink, so Mike continued. " I'd like to bring them back and aboard the ship. I think the Nathan James is the safest place for all of us," Mike finished, waiting for his friend's response. Tom lifted his head to match Mike's gaze.

"I'm not going to say you can't go, but I'm going to caution you. Mike, that's far inland. We'll put a team together, see if we can get fuel in the helos," he understood Mike's desire to go, he had done the same thing. He just wished it wasn't so far.

"Thank you, Tom," Mike replied gratefully. Tom nodded, knowing that bringing home his friend's family was something important they had to do. Their conversation ceased as Lt. Foster moved to stand beside them. Both men shared a look of concern as they greeted the young sailor.

"Happy birthday, Captain," the brunette greeted her commanding officers. Her voice was low, and she was pale.

"Thank you, Lt Foster," Tom replied. "How are you?" he inquired, taking in her appearance.

"I'm all right, sir." she answered honestly, but both men could tell she was still struggling with her pregnancy. Both having had pregnant wives, they were familiar with morning sickness. Kara looked particularly sick at this moment though, Tom noted.

"Are you sure? Maybe you should sit down." Tom encouraged, gesturing toward the table not too far from then. She nodded.

"You're probably right, Captain," her voice faltered and as she stepped, she collapsed. Tom was quick to catch her, Mike reaching for his punch.

"Lt. Foster!" Tom eased her down to the floor, people making space for him to lay her down. "Kara, Kara! Stay with me. Dr Scott!" He called for Rachel immediately. Kara's eyes fluttered a little and he watched her try to focus on his face, though she seemed to be having a tough time. Rachel was by his side in a moment, concern written all over her face. She settled down beside him, their shoulders bumping as he kneeled by Kara's head.

"Kara, can you hear me?" Rachel lifted up her limp hand, "Squeeze my hand, Kara," the squeeze was small, but it was there.

"Burk!" Tom called out, the young man at the scene quickly. "Please relieve Lt. Green from his watch and tell him to meet me outside sick bay," Tom ordered and the lieutenant was off like a shot. He and Rachel exchanged glances and she nodded. Tom moved, sliding his arms under Kara's knees and back, picking her up easily. Rachel led the way through the crowd, making room for Tom, who was followed by Mike.

Russell stood with the children, surrounded by a silent room of sailors. He said a silent prayer that Kara and the baby were all right.

* * *

Tom paced outside the infirmary, waiting on Danny's arrival while Rachel worked on Kara. He noticed the way these two were becoming like family to him. He was genuinely worried for Kara's health, and he knew first hand what Danny was feeling. When Sam had been born premature, he'd been so overwhelmed with worry for his child and his wife. It had consumed him. He empathized with Danny.

The Navy Seal jogged down the p-way toward him. He came to a halt in front Tom, his eyes wide with terror. Tom rested his hands on Danny's shoulders.

"What happened? Is she all right? Is the baby..." his voice was shaky, his mind racing.

"Dr. Scott and Dr. Rios are working on her now. She collapsed in the mess hall. I caught her before she fell. She was semi-conscious when we got her down here. That's all I know as of yet." Danny stepped back, running his hands through his short hair, pacing. "Danny," Tom spoke softly, catching the attention of the stressed man, "I've been in your shoes. Don't think about the what ifs. Just wait for news." Tom settled down on the small bench across from the door, and patted the seat next to him. "I'll wait with you." Danny shuffled to the bench and took a seat, putting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Tom leaned his head back against the wall and hoped for the best.

* * *

Rachel emerged an hour later, looking tired but positive. Both men stood immediately. She wrapped her sweater tighter around herself.

"Kara and the baby are all right," she began, easing their worries. "She is very dehydrated, I'm guessing due to her morning sickness. We've got her on fluids and she's resting comfortably. Everything else seems to be fine, the baby's heartbeat is consistent and strong. I think with some rest, they will be good as new." She turned to Danny specifically. "You can see her. But please try to keep her spirits up, and don't upset her. I need her blood pressure to stay stable."

"Yes ma'am," Danny responded, relief evident in his voice. "Thank you." he meant both words strongly. He moved past her to the door, allowing himself inside, shutting it behind him. As the door clicked shut, Rachel sighed heavily.

"She had me worried for a moment," she confessed, collapsing on to the bench. Tom sat down next to her, rubbing her back as she ran her hands over her face.

"She's really okay though?"

Rachel nodded. "She is. And the baby is too. We've just got to get her to take better care of herself." She pushed her hair out of her face and leaned back, turning her head to catch his eyes. "I'm sorry about your party," she apologized, her eyes sad. Tom shrugged.

"These things happen," he began, "It was great though, thank you," he hesitantly reached over and grabbed one of her hands. "Thank you for spending so much time with the children, and for helping them with today. They've done nothing but rave about you for weeks now. I can't tell you how happy that makes me, that they're moving on and coping," he searched her eyes, hoping she understood the weight of his words. "We wouldn't be doing so well without you." He offered her a small smile, which she returned.

"You don't know that. You might be getting on just fine without me," she laughed a little, awkwardly, surprised by his words.

"No," he shook his head, but never broke his eye contact, "I don't think so. You're incredible, Rachel. Everything you do is. And last night..." his voice trailed off, but their gaze continued on. Her cheeks grew pink under his eyes, and he grinned. He enjoyed making her blush.

"Should we talk about it?" She wondered out loud.

"Do you want to?" He answered her question with a question, putting the ball in her court. She shrugged.

"I don't know, if you think we need to," she stated tentatively. He shook his head, reaching for her other hand and holding it as well.

"Only if you want to," he spoke, squeezing her hands. She squeezed his in return. The warmth built her confidence.

"I need to monitor Kara for a while," she began, unsure of when she'd be finished.

"I'll come find you later, once you're settled back in your stateroom. We can talk then," His smile was sweet, and he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"Will you check on the kids?" the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and he grinned happily at her motherly concern for them, as she added sheepishly, "It was a lot of excitement for one afternoon, and it was probably scary for them."

"I will. I'll let them know Kara and the baby are just fine," he released her hands and stood up. She leaned her head back against the cool steel of the ship wall, peering up at him. "I'll see you later tonight," he gave her one last smile before walking away. She watched him for a moment, marveled again at the man he was, the feelings she had for him, before standing and heading back inside medical. She put her thoughts of him away for the moment, knowing they'd return when she had another free moment. She definitely didn't mind those thoughts though.

* * *

_I use a lot of songs to write these chapters. Would y'all be interested in a listing of music that inspires me to write these two? Just curious :)_

_Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I look forward to your thoughts!_ _(I apologize for any typos, sometimes I don't catch them :X )_


	20. Chapter 18

_***rated M toward the end of this chapter***_

Tom settled the children into bed, wishing them goodnight after a long day of birthday celebration. After the scare with Kara, he had gone back up to the party, assuring everyone their friend was all right. Mike headed back to the bridge so Tom could spend much needed time with the children and his father. He'd eaten too much cake, and laughed so hard his face hurt from smiling, but it was good for his soul. As he slid the door to the small bed area shut, he turned to find his father watching him intently. He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, Pop?" he reached for the cup of decaffeinated coffee he had set on the desk and took a sip, eying his father.

Jed shrugged, looking back down at his book, "Nothing, Tommy. Was just thinking."

"About?"

"It's not important," Jed changed the subject, "How's Kara and the baby?"

"My last update from Rios said she was stable. I'm going to head down there now and check on her myself. We need to change her schedule so she's taking better care of herself," he leaned his large shoulder against the wall across from where his father sat.

"You care about those two kids," Jed remarked on Tom's words.

"I care about my entire crew," Tom responded. The corner of Jed's lip rose a little in a half smile.

"I know you do. But these two, Danny and Kara, I can tell you have a particular soft spot for them," Jed knew his son was a compassionate man. He could tell by the way he spoke to both, he looked at them like his own children. Tom shrugged.

"They've got a lot going on, we're living in a completely different world. Who knows where their families are. We're the only family they've got," Tom meant it about the two sailors, but also about his entire crew. They were a tight knit family now, all 200 plus of them. They were almost all each other had left.

"I'm proud of you, son. You're a good captain," the words were heartfelt and Tom gave a smile in thanks, unable to say anything. "These people are lucky to have you," Jed was proud of how his son had handled everything that had happened. His heart swelled with pride. He'd raised three fine children—though his younger two were yet to be found during this catastrophe.

Tom cleared his throat after a moment, "I'm going to go see Lt. Foster," they exchanged their goodbyes, and Tom made his way down to medical.

* * *

He knocked softly before entering, finding the young woman alone. She attempted to sick up. Tom noticed how pale she still was, but her eyes were much clearer.

"Sir," she greeted respectfully. Tom nodded.

"At ease, lieutenant," he gave her a smile small, taking a seat on the round chair next to the bed. Kara leaned back, wishing she was more presentable for her captain, and feeling embarrassed after everything that had happened.

"Captain, permission to speak freely?" her voice shook as she asked the question. She'd called a lot of attention to herself since the almost blown mission with Danny months ago. She owed Captain Chandler a huge apology.

"Granted."

"I want to apologize for all the trouble I've caused as of late, sir. I assure you it won't happen again." Her words were quiet and contrite. Tom considered her thoughts before speaking.

"Kara, you're pregnant. These things can happen. My late wife was terribly sick with Ashley. It effected everything. Control your controllables. If you're not feeling well, take a break. If you need water, get it. Don't let anything come between your health and the baby's health, understood?" Kara nodded her head adamantly. Tom's tone was straightforward and fatherly, "I appreciate your apology, but fainting in the galley is not something you did wrong. Not taking care of yourself was. Just make sure you're taking the proper measures to stay well. Listen to Dr. Scott and Dr. Rios' every word going forward."

"Aye, sir," Kara nodded, looking down at her hands in her lap, feeling the lump in her throat beginning to form. Tom rested his hand on her shoulder.

"I know you're scared. This is new territory for all of us- having a pregnant woman onboard a DDG. We're not equipped for this yet. But we will be. We'll do what it takes to keep you and the baby safe. You do your part, and we'll do ours." He gave her shoulder a squeeze before standing. "Are they releasing you to your quarters soon?"

"Yes, sir. Dr. Rios went to get Lt. Granderson."

"Good. Get some rest. I don't expect to see you in CIC for at least two days, understood? Take care of yourself, lieutenant. That's an order." A small smile formed on his lips, and Kara nodded again.

"Aye. Thank you, sir." Tom squared his shoulders and exited medical, content with their talk. He realized his father was right. He did look at her as a daughter.

* * *

Tom looked down one side of the p-way and then down the other side, looking to see if anyone was around. It was late, and quiet, the lights darkened to that glowing red. He took a chance, knocked softly on the stateroom door, hoping she would swiftly answer.

Rachel placed her book down and stood from her small chair, heading to the door. She knew who her late visitor was, or at least she hoped it was him. She'd been thinking about seeing him tonight since he'd said he'd come by, and secretly, she wasn't prepared for his visit. Being alone with him again, in a cabin, seemed risky in light of their new enjoyment for one another. But on the other hand, she couldn't wait to get her hands on him.

She pulled open the door and smiled when she saw him on the other side. He offered her a small, almost shy smile, and she opened the door wider to accommodate his large frame. She shut it behind him, and noticed how much bigger he seemed, standing in the middle of her tiny stateroom. She moved around him to stand in front of him, leaning her shoulder against the top bunk.

"Hello," she offered in greeting, as he stood before her, rocking a little on his heels, hands clasped behind his back.

"Hello." he replied with a grin, searching her eyes.

"Kara seems to be settled back in her stateroom, resting comfortably. I'll check on her first thing tomorrow and make sure all is well," Rachel informed him of what he already knew—he'd been down to visit Kara before coming to see Rachel. She didn't need to know that though, didn't want to burst her bubble.

"Excellent. Thank you for caring for her," he squared his shoulders, attempting to keep whatever professional barrier between them for now, knowing he was having a hard time keeping his hands off of her.

"Absolutely. That's what I'm here for," she stopped, laughing a little, "Well, sort of. It's turned into that, hasn't it?" she giggled a little, peering up at him sideways, taking in his handsome features and small grin.

"It certainly has," he laughed a little in response. He took a step forward, closer to her, pulling her into his arms. He couldn't resist.

She snuggled into his chest, breathing a sigh that had been held in her chest all evening. She could hear the muffled sounds of his consistent heartbeat through his BDUs, and she closed her eyes, enjoying the sound and taking comfort in his strong arms.

Tom ran a hand over her back, before leaning back, surveying her face and her expression. She looked content, but questioning, her eyes showing him she wasn't sure of his next move. He leaned forward and gently, slowly pressed his lips to hers, this time taking the moment to appreciate and memorize the feel of her mouth on his.

She kissed him back easily, with just as much softness as he had started, neither rushing the kiss. She knew they were both unsure of how to proceed in these new uncharted waters, and both wanted to relish what secret alone time they had. He turned her gently, putting her back against the top bunk, his hands finding her face, his thumbs caressing her cheeks.

Her hands rested gently against his hips, her fingers looped through the belt loops on either side of his pants. She let him control their pace, followed behind comfortably. He was a born leader, at everything. And she wasn't complaining.

A series of knocks at the door made them both jump, and they both looked to the door and then back to each other. "Don't answer it," Tom whispered. She knew it was because they couldn't afford to get caught alone, in her room, with the door shut.

"They must know I'm in here if they're knocking," No one came knocking on her door, rarely was anyone looking for her. Whoever it was knew she was in here. Rachel looked around, looking for a place to hide the large captain. The knocking came again. Her heart raced a little. "Here," she whispered, "Get in the bed, I'll shut the curtain and turn off the light," he gave her a dubious look, not interested in the small space, but climbed in nonetheless. Rachel tousled her hair and rubbed her eyes, trying to appear as if she'd been sleeping. She shut off the light and pulled open the door a little, squinting, peering at the person outside. She was surprised to see Danny on the other side. She immediately lifted her head a little higher, worried for Kara.

"Dr. Scott, I'm sorry to bother you," Danny began quickly, "I just wanted to say thank you for today." Rachel felt relief wash through her veins. She offered him a warm smile.

"My pleasure Danny. Anything I can do to help. Just keep an eye on her," Rachel gave him a wink and he nodded, a small smile playing at his lips.

"Yes ma'am," he replied. "Have a good evening," he nodded his head in goodbye and headed back down the p-way. Rachel watched him go a good ways before shutting the door and locking it. She smoothed her hair back down and went back to the bed, dropping down to climb in beside the Captain. The small twin bed put them very close together, and with him on his back, she barely fit. He stretched his left arm, allowing her to move closer to him, and she relished in the warmth he let off.

Tom could smell her vanilla scent surrounding him, and it was intoxicating. As he stared at the bottom of the top bunk, he felt like a young officer again, though he hadn't ever snuggled with a woman on one of these bunks. He chuckled a little—there was a first time for everything.

Rachel looked up at him curiously as he laughed a little. "What is so funny?" she inquired, studying his relaxed features.

"I haven't laid in one of these in five years probably, and definitely not ever with a woman," at the admission he felt a twinge of guilt, he wasn't sure why. Rachel chuckled a little as well.

"Well, there's a code forbidding this type of thing," she rationalized.

"True. Didn't prevent Green and Foster from getting pregnant, though," he scowled, thinking of all the complications this would present. It already had presented its fair share. This was a destroyer, not a cruise ship. They weren't set up for families.

"They will be all right. We'll find a way to accommodate them." He peered over at her, taking in her pretty eyes as she looked up at him from his chest.

"You know they're not going to be the last," Tom sighed, voicing his concern. So many men and women on a floating island, with no real mission at hand other than staying alive. There were bound to be more situations that would arise.

"Inevitably, I suppose. We can only take it as it comes." As she laid against him, she couldn't help but realize they were no better than Kara and Danny. They'd taken that forbidden next step. They were no example of good behavior.

Tom rolled over onto his side, resting his hand on her hip, rubbing the small amount of exposed skin there. "Do you think there's any safe place on land for us?" his question was honest, and quiet. He needed reassurance, she realized. Unfortunately, she didn't have any. She sighed.

"I'm not sure. There was so much devastation, and the CDC was very clear on how wide-spread the pandemic was. I really don't know that there would be anywhere for us to make port and safely exist in this new world," she wasn't above being honest with him. If she couldn't be honest with him at this point, who could she be honest with?

He looked thoughtful and nodded, looking down at the sheets. "It's just hard to imagine living on this ship forever. I love it, but I have never thought of it as a permanent living place. There are so many different sides to that coin."

"I think it's something we really need to consider. In six months, Kara is going to have a baby. And we need to be ready for this one, and possibly more. Not to mention your children need a place to live and grow amongst this cold steel."

Tom chewed the inside of his cheek, unsure of his next move. The thought of the kids growing up onboard the Nathan James made him immensely nervous. This was no place for children. They didn't really have a choice however. He sighed.

Rachel ran a hand over his cheek, searching his eyes. She knew he was feeling conflicted, the weight of the world was on his shoulders. She knew the feeling.

"Tom, we can't solve all the problems tonight. Maybe we should get some rest, think through what our options are over the next few days. We have time." She tried to be encouraging, wasn't sure if she believed her words herself. How much time did they have?

"Mike wants to go to Illinois to find his family," he blurted it out, it had been weighing on him since Mike had told him. He couldn't bare the thought of his XO going inland alone, but understood the importance of it to Mike.

Rachel digested the information. "When?"

"I assume as soon as possible. If we can get fuel in the helo we can get him in and out pretty quickly. If not, we'll have to find another way. I'd go with him but.." his voice drifted off, and she knew why. The kids.

And she worried for his safety. "You can't go. Send Burk and Miller. We can't spare you." _I can't spare you_ she finished to herself. She couldn't bare the thought of him going ashore for an extended period of time with no ability to communicate so far in land. What if something happened?

Tom found her hand, laced his fingers through. "We can't really spare anyone, I don't want any more funerals."

Rachel had no response, instead just moved closer on the small mattress, settling against him. He draped his arm around her waist, kissed the side of her head, resting his against hers.

Tom wasn't sure if she would be receptive, but he chanced and leaned down, finding her lips. She rolled herself onto back to allow him to access her lips easier, and he pushed himself up onto his elbow, leaning over her, never breaking their contact. Kissing her was comforting, warm, a breath of fresh air. The twinge of guilt returned for a brief moment, but it disappeared as she reached up and ran her fingers through the hair at the base of skull. He kissed her a little deeper, pressing his fingers into her hip, gripping the hipbone he could easily feel through her thin side.

Rachel could feel the familiar tingle start in her belly, the butterflies swirling. Kissing this man was heady. She could feel herself getting lost in his kisses already. She let him control the pace, wasn't sure how far he planned to take it this evening.

As his lips moved to her ear, and down the side of her neck, she took a breathe, tried to speak. "Tom," she began, attempting to get his attention.

"Hmm?" he mumbled against her skin, causing her a shiver.

"Should we talk about last night?" She was a scientist, she rationalized things for a living, worked with facts and hypothesis. She wanted to make sense of this all.

Tom pulled back from her neck, smiling down at her. "What about it?" he inquired. She shrugged against the comforter.

"Well...I mean...you're not sorry, right?" Her voice conveyed her secret nerves, and he gave her a sweet smile.

"I'm not sorry." he replied, kissing her again. "If I was, I wouldn't be here right now," his voice was raspy and she could feel his want against her through his BDUs. This man made her weak. "Anything else you want to know?"

She licked her lips as his found her collar bone. Her eyes practically rolled back into her head. "Umm..no, I can't think of anything else right now," she pushed her head back into the pillow, giving him more access to her soft skin. His hand found its way up her ribcage, gripping her side, caressing her skin with his thumb. She reached for the buttons on the front of his jacket, quickly and easily undoing each one. She pushed it over his shoulders and he shrugged it off in the small quarters, careful not to bump his head. They each tried to watch their knees and elbows as they quickly rid themselves of their clothing, attempting to continue kissing as best they could.

He slid his hand down her stomach as soon as he could, feeling for her readiness. She moaned and bucked her hips up at him, causing a devilish smile to cross his features. He rolled on top of her gently, and wasted no time pushing into her. Rachel arched her back and moaned loudly, unable to contain it in the heat of the moment. Tom clasped his hand gently over her mouth, a playful warning look on his face.

"Shhh," he whispered against her ear. She closed her eyes, nodding, trying to control any noise from leaving her. It was so hard, he made her feel so many things. She wanted him to know how good it felt.

He pulled his hand away from her mouth when he was sure she would be quiet, and pushed harder this time, over and over, as her legs came up on either side of his hips. He sank deeper into her, and tried to stay quiet himself, a small moan escaping his lips. He was addicted to the small woman below him. That much he knew.

* * *

_Wow! Thank you so much for the incredible reviews! As requested, below are is the 'Red Flag' soundtrack, if you will. These are the songs I use to write this fic. And if anyone wants to use one to make a video, well, I wouldn't be disappointed ;) haha! If there is a chapter in parenthesis, it means I used it to write part or all of that chapter in particular. Some of the chapters aren't finished yet ;) * evil laugh *_

_Happy Listening!_

_"Kiss Me Slowly" Parachute (chapter 16/18)_

_"Sweet and Low" Augustana_

_"Gravity" John Mayer_

_"Human" Christina Perri_

_"Distance" Christina Perri (feat. Jason Mraz)_

_"Be My Forever" Christina Perri &amp; Ed Sheeran (chapter 12)_

_"Chances" Five for Fighting (chapter 18)_

_"The Mess I Made" Parachute (chapter 20) **(so excited about this chapter)**_

_"Safe and Sound" Taylor Swift feat. Civil Wars (chapter 22)_

_"Reason to Hope" Ron Pope_

_"Drop in the Ocean" Ron Pope (chapter 22/23)_

_"Somewhere in the Middle" Nine Sky Wonder_

_"She is Love" Parachute_

_"Never Stop" Safetysuit_

_"All about Us" He is We feat Owl City_

_"Diamond in the Making" Patrick Davis (chapter 6)_

_"Forever and Always" Parachute (chapter 7 &amp; 23) **(could be the saddest song ever written)**_

_"World Spins Madly On" The Weepies (chapter 8)_

_"Here with Me" Dido (chapter 15/16)_

_"Run" Matt Nathanson (chapter 16)_

_"Wake Me Up" Madilyn Bailey (chapter 7/8/22)_


	21. Chapter 19

Rachel awoke hours later as she rolled over, realizing the warm mass she'd fallen asleep against was no longer a presence in her bed. She moved closer to where his head had been laying when they'd fallen asleep, her back against his chest, and she could smell the husky scent of his aftershave on the pillow. She breathed a sigh, inhaling the scent. He must have crawled out by her feet, she hadn't even realized he was gone until now. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, there was no evidence he'd been by that night. She wasn't sure what time it was as she sat up, curious if it had all been a dream. She took in the fact she was still naked and laughed to herself—it definitely hadn't been a dream.

So many parts of their new found relationship was still so prohibited. She still carried guilt about Darien, was sure he was still mourning his late wife, and she knew he'd taken an oath to not participate in such activities as their sudden late night get-togethers. No fraternization, period. They were breaking all kinds of moral rules.

She also realized that if they didn't protect themselves going forward, there was a chance they'd end up in Danny and Kara's shoes. And despite how much she was beginning to realize she yearned for a family, here and now was not the right time or place.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, her chest felt heavy. Despite the enjoyment they'd been having in each other, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

She pulled on some warm clothes and boots, the sweatshirt a few sizes too big, her long hair falling on her shoulders, her sweatpants hanging at her hips. She'd lost a few pounds since this mission had begun.

She caught glimpse of the clock and realized it was still early, only 0500. Most of the ship would just be waking. She wanted a cup of tea and to watch the sunrise. Maybe that would ease her anxiety. A piece of toast would probably help too, she realized, as her stomach grumbled at her.

Rachel walked quietly down the p-way, lost in thought, making her way to the ward room. She pushed open the door and found the XO reading a report at the table, sipping on his morning coffee. She was surprised to find anyone up here at this hour, and wished she hadn't. She wasn't much for talking.

"Good morning, doctor," Slattery greeted her, standing out of respect. She offered a small smile, dropping her head.

"Good morning, Commander," She made her way over to the hot water basin, grabbing a mug off the shelf. He sat back down, his eyes falling back to his report.

"How are you this morning?" he made casual conversation, noting a few things on the report. He glanced up every few moments. She had a fleeting worry he was on to them.

"I'm doing well, yourself?" She asked curiously, remembering what Tom had mentioned about Mike wanting to find his family. She couldn't really blame him for wanting to find them, despite the dangers.

"All right." he set his pen down, and looked at her, and she knew he was no longer making casual conversation. She stood at the end of the table, letting her tea steep, bobbing the breakfast tea bag in and out of the water. "Can I ask you a question?"

Rachel shrugged, "Of course." Fear coursed through her veins. Could she lie if he flat-out asked about her and the captain? She said a prayer that she'd be able to.

"How many different strains of the virus do you think there are? Do you think we're immune to them all, or are there still versions of it we need to protect ourselves from?" His question caught her off guard, and she found herself breathing a sigh of relief.

That was not lost on Slattery.

"I'm not sure, but if it was altered to where it was when I was able to identify the version we currently have, then I'm sure it if is not contained, it can keep changing. We as humans adapt to certain viruses, and it needs to change in order to keep progressing. I'm not sure how many strains, that's anyone's guess. But yes, I would say that on land we would need to very careful."

"So we would need to wear our CBR gear and have our masks ready if we were to come in contact with people who could possibly be infected?" his gaze was intense, and he was clearly making plans in his head. She contemplated her answer.

"Yes, that would be ideal for safety," she took a sip of her tea, and watched him digest her words.

"I'm going ashore to find my family," he admitted to her quietly. She kept her face calm, took in his words as if it was the first time she'd heard them. She nodded.

"It's a dangerous world now, Commander Slattery. Make sure you take plenty of gear and supplies. Are you taking anyone with you?" this question was for her benefit. Had Tom decided to go with him?

"I'm not sure. I don't want to risk anyone else's lives for the sake of my family. Tom said something about putting a team together." He stared down at the dark liquid in his cup and the wheels in her head began to turn.

"Let me know what happens, okay?" She wasn't ready to speak her thoughts, wasn't sure she was ready to think them.

"Of course. I imagine you'll want samples from the field," he gave her a soft smile and they were both brought back to a time when things were simpler and they thought was just out chasing birds across the barren snowy arctic. So much had changed.

"Thank you, Commander," she smiled in goodbye and excused herself, heading for the deck. It was colder than she'd anticipated as she stepped through the helo bay door, the wind from the full-speed ahead destroyer blowing her hair around. She took a seat on one of the one of the bulkheads and looked out of the water, leaning her back against the hard metal. She watched from the front of the ship as the sun began to peek itself over the horizon. It was a beautiful view on this chilly morning. And she had a lot of thinking to do.

* * *

Tom rubbed his hands over his face as he awoke from his short slumber. He'd slept a couple of hours with Rachel before moving quickly and quietly out of her bed, dressing up fully again and making his way unseen back up to his quarters. They were not close, and he had been careful not to be seen down in her area of the ship. It was not a common place for him to be that time of night. He had slept a few more hours in his own bed and now, as his eyes adjusted in the darkness, he missed her warmth beside him.

He sat up and threw his long legs over the side of the bed, yawning. If none of this virus nonsense had happened, he'd be waking up in his king size bed in his master bedroom back in Norfolk. Darien would be making pancakes for him and the kids downstairs, as she did on weekends, and coffee would be brewing. Those times were long gone, he knew, simply a memory now. Good memories, but memories nonetheless. He missed her, a lot, missed their life together. He missed their house, and their dog, and his pickup truck. He missed the mundane things like going to the grocery store, or taking his wife to the movies, or playing catch with Sam in the yard. His heart ached a little at the sudden flood of moments in his mind.

He ran a hand over his silvery hair and side. All that was gone, he needed to focus on the present and the future, whatever that entailed. He wasn't sure where they'd end up, but knew that protecting his immediate, and now very extended family was his ultimate goal. And her. She fit somewhere in the mix.

He smiled a little as he thought back to the night before. Despite knowing he shouldn't be engaging in such behavior, it was a release from the stress of their every day life, a couple quiet hours when he could escape and feel a little less like they were living in a post-apocalyptic world. It had only been a few days, but he was enjoying her, enjoying their time together. He cared about her, more than he was ready to admit to himself. He was careful, he didn't want to hurt her or the children. And he didn't want to break his crew's trust. That was a big variable for him. Their trust in him was everything, if he lost that...

Tom rid the thoughts from his mind, standing. He needed a shower, some breakfast, and to get up to the bridge. As he removed his clothes, he caught a glance of his upper body in his small bathroom mirror. He saw the red marks on his shoulder and chuckled with a shake of his head. She'd left her mark on him. In more than one way, he thought to himself.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon when he found her down in her lab with Ashley and Ava, going through some inventory. Each girl had a clip board and Rachel was teaching them how to count everything in each of her storage containers. The girls were enthralled in Rachel's teachings, the three of them focused on their task. He waited by the entrance, watched her with the girls, waiting for a pause. It wasn't long before she let the girls loose to count and inspect the bins, walking slowly over to where he leaned against one of her tables. He smiled at her as she approached, and she gave him a shy smile in return.

"I see we've started Nathan James Elementary," he joked, giving the ship a school's name. Rachel chuckled with a nod and an affectionate look toward the girls.

"They asked if they could help with anything, and I offered to teach them a few things. They seem very receptive," she elaborated, watching the girls intently talk amongst themselves. Tom couldn't help but smile.

"Good idea. Sam if off playing Navy Seal with Green."

"You have your hands full with that one. He's going to grow up just like his father," she gave Tom a knowing smile with the tease and he shook his head with a laugh.

"Or Green and Burk. As far as Sam's concerned, what they do is much cooler than being captain of the ship," he dropped his voice and caught her eyes, changing the subject. "How are you?" He inquired. She looked down at her shoes. This man made her a weak mess sometimes.

"I am well. Yourself?"

"Great," a broad grin adorned his handsome face and she was torn between being suck in by his charm and feeling guilty. She subconsciously sighed and his brow furrowed, his grin faltering.

"Dr. Scott," he kept her name professional in front of the children, "Is everything all right?"

"Of course," she lied, praying the eye contact she held with him would keep him from seeing through her. He didn't look convinced.

"Are you sure?" he pushed, standing to his full height in front of her. She nodded adamantly.

"Yes, Captain." She feigned a yawn, "I just haven't been getting too much sleep in recent days," she didn't want him to know anything was wrong so she chose this as her response. She spoke playfully. He kept his face professional, but his eyes told her he knew what she was referring to.

"Has something been keeping you up at night, doctor?" His tone was just as playful, but before she could respond, the girls were calling for her. She turned to them, before turning back to him.

"I need to go help them," she spoke regrettably. "I'll see you later, maybe around dinner time?" She began toward the girls, but her body stayed facing his direction, needed his response. He nodded.

"If I'm not there, I'm on the bridge," he spoke solidly, watching her smile in acceptance and then walk to the girls. He watched the three of them converse, the way Rachel was so patient and kind with them, helping them sort out their questions. She was such an asset to them aboard this ship. He marveled at how far they all had come in the last couple months.

He thought about Sam for a moment, how he wished, as his father, he was down here learning about science instead of on deck learning about artillery. He shook his head and reminded himself that he'd been a small boy once, and had been interested in that particular activity too.

* * *

A knock sounded at Tom's door a little after dinner, and he presumed it was Rachel. He hadn't seen her at dinner as she'd suggested she would be, and when he'd went to look for her in the lab, she hadn't been anywhere to be found. He hoped it was her.

"It's open," he called with a smile. He was surprised to see Mike when the door opened. His smile fell a little. Mike raised an eyebrow.

"I presume you didn't think it was me knocking," Mike deadpanned, stepping into the office area of Tom's at sea cabin.

"I just thought it was the kids," Tom tried to hide his tone of disappoint, "What can I do for you, XO?" he spoke with a friendly tone instead, standing and leaning against his desk, crossing his arms.

"Have you given any thought to forming a team to head to Deer Park?" Mike stood respectfully in front of his commanding officer. He knew he was walking a fine line by asking Tom to dock close to land and allow him to take a few of their crew to save his family. Tom nodded.

"I have. Burk and Green will go with you. You'll have to go in on foot, maybe jump a car. I'll work on getting the help refueled."

Mike nodded, "Thank you, Tom," He paused, thought for a moment, "I would like to take one of the doctors. In case we need medical aid along the way or once we're there. We should probably do some tests too, on the virus, I mean," he knew he was pushing it by asking. Tom chewed on his cheek for a moment.

"You can take Rios. Scott and Tophet can cover duties until you return." Mike opened his mouth to argue, wanting one of the scientists but Tom didn't give him the opportunity. "The scientists stay here," he replied with a cautionary look. Mike shut his mouth and nodded.

"Aye, sir," he stepped to the door, leaving the captain be, and making his way down to the lab. Rachel was not going to like Tom's response to Mike wanting to take her along.

* * *

Rachel avoided talking about it with him two whole days, before she knew they were preparing to drop anchor off Virginia, and she needed to make a decision. Was she going to ask him if she could go or not? She was trying to find the courage to ask because she knew he'd say no and she needed to show him why he should let her go.

They'd slept separately the last couple nights, keeping their hands to themselves. It seemed they'd both been having their own thoughts about their sudden relations. Minus a moment in a closet by the forward engine room.

She felt hot just thinking about it on her way to find in the ward room.

_She bumped into him exiting the storage closet, looking for a few cleaning necessities. He had been coming up from the engine room, checking in with Garnett and Chung. _

"_Captain," she greeted him, her hands full. He nodded to her, hands behind his back. _

"_Doctor," he replied, standing in front of her. He hadn't seen her or kissed her in over twenty four hours. He was surprised how he missed it. He stepped forward toward her and she backed up into the closet. He walking in and shut the door. She dropped everything in her hands as his hands found her face,his lips finding hers. The kiss was messy, full of need, and she felt light headed when he pulled back. He bent down and picked up her things for her, before kissing her one last time, opening the door and heading on his way up the p-way. She sighed heavily, not sure if she had breathed the entire time she'd been in the closet. She stepped out, looking about to make sure no one was around, before making her way in her own direction up the p-way. _

She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. She needed to see him as the captain, not as the man kissing her hotly in a closet or in her bed.

She stepped into the ward room, and let the door shut behind her. He was alone, as she hoped he'd be. She didn't wait for him to acknowledge her before speaking.

"I'd like to go with Commander Slattery to Deer Park. I think that I'm best suited for the trip and I'd like to evaluate the conditions and various possible strains of the virus." She was surprised by the control in her voice. She knew he wouldn't receive her words well, and when he turned from pouring his cup of coffee, she could tell by the look in his eyes he was not happy with her request.

"Rachel, I don't think that's a good idea. It's dangerous. You could be hurt or worse.." Tom's voice drifted off as he placed his cup down on the table, crossing his arms. He was surprised by her desire to go, had she told Mike? He hadn't mentioned anything about it.

Rachel noticed his change in demeanor, his shoulders growing broader. He wasn't having any of her desire to research the outside world. She wasn't ready to give up yet, however.

"In order to continue to make sure we are adapting and our vaccine continues to work, I need to test people who have the virus or who have died from it. If we ever have any desire to live on land again, we need to know fully what's going on." She used his own question from the other night against him. She saw him clench his jaw.

"No." It was a statement, one of conviction. "I'm not letting you go with Mike." He picked up his cup and moved toward the door to exit the ward room, and she could see the heat in his eyes as he walked past her. "This conversation is over. My answer is no."

* * *

_You all have been fabulous with the follows and alerts! Thank you!_

_I have noticed though that reviews are down from Chapter 16. Reviews are not everything, but they're definitely a good gauge of how you're enjoying this story. Have I turned a corner and now you're no longer interested? People have always let me know how I'm doing with this fic, and it has over 100 followers, which I am so thankful for, but suddenly the reviews are down and that worries me as the author. If you have thoughts, or if I've irreparably damaged this story somehow, please PM so we can talk about it. I need to know your thoughts in order to write so you enjoy this story. It's very important to me that the readers like where I'm going with this. We had a request for action and I'm gearing up to try my hand at it, so maybe that will bring back the interest. _

_I know I took some time for my wrist to heal and that slowed the updates down, but I'm back in full force and want to make sure I haven't lost anyone along the way. We have eight long months ahead of us before the first episode of season 2. Writing this story is getting me through this long hiatus. I hope you all continue to enjoy it. _

_Please leave a line and let me know your thoughts. They're SO appreciated! XOXO_


	22. Chapter 20

"Captain's on the bridge!"

Tom stalked through the doorway headed straight for Mike. He crossed his arms and his stare was firm.

"Did you suggest Dr. Scott go with you or did she come up with that idea all on her own?" Tom's voice was tight and hushed, he was frustrated by her behavior and frustrated that his second in command would be a part of this.

Mike's face showed his surprise at the stern question, his eyes wide. "She asked me about coming sir, but I told her she needed to ask you," was his honest response. Tom pursed his lips.

"I told her no. She's not going."

"She has a point though-she could do work in the field, test victims. And she would be our medic if something happened. Rios can stay here."

"Mike," Tom's tone was one of warning. He wasn't entertaining this conversation. "Since when did you become her biggest fan?" his voice was full of sarcasm.

"She's a big girl, Tom. She'll be with us. She'll be fine," Mike wanted her to go with them, thought it was important that she did. He wondered if Tom was allowing his emotions to get in the way of a sound decision. He never let her off the ship before, so this wasn't necessarily uncharacteristic, however, Mike had seen the way her looked at her these recent days.

Tom didn't dignify Mike with a response. "XO has the lead," he spoke to Alisha only, before striding off the bridge, his hands clenched at his sides. They were anchoring the ship off the coast as he walked down the p-way, needing to separate himself. He stopped short of the helo bay.

Tom rubbed his face, leaning against the wall of the p-way, his head down. If he went and something happened to him, his kids would be orphaned. It seemed irresponsible, not to mention someone had to stay and run the ship, and with Deer Park so far from Norfolk, there was no way to tell when they'd be back. The ship needed a commanding officer, and despite his confidence in his crew, this mission would take days. That was too long to be without a true CO.

But if she went...his chest tightened immediately. If she went, there was a chance something could happen to her. But, Mike had a point, she could also collect samples and do her research, which could in turn help them with the ability to live on land. But if she was hurt...he could never forgive himself for putting her in harm's way.

Green and Burk were going with Mike, he could send a few more of the NMWU for her protection. They'd keep her safe with their lives, he knew. He could trust them to make sure not a hair on her head was touched.

He clenched and unclenched his jaw. What was the right decision?

* * *

Hours later Tom entered the lab, shoulders back, hands clenched at his sides. He hated what he was about to do.

"Dr. Scott," his calling tone was one of seriousness, professionalism. She turned from her computer and immediately felt the chill in his gaze.

"Tom," she replied back in question, not understanding why he suddenly wanted to use her professional name with no one else around. He stopped in front of her, and she was surprised by his hardened expression.

"Collect your things, you're leaving at 0500 tomorrow morning." His jaw was set, and he avoided her eyes. Rachel's brow furrowed.

"Tom, you cannot be angry with me for wanting to go with them. This is an opportunity for us to learn more about what has happened," her hands found her hips, her tone slightly argumentative. She still had a job do to, despite all they had achieved. He didn't have the right to be upset with her, not to mention if he cared for her like he said he did that night, he'd understand her reasoning in a different light. Clearly he didn't.

"I can be angry if I want to be," his tone was cold. "Putting your life at risk is not a card I want to put on the table. You're forcing my hand."

"I'll be fine, I can assure you."

"No, you can't. You think you can but you can't. You have no idea what might happen out there." He crossed his arms, and this time he locked eyes with her. She could see the pain behind his frosty blue eyes. She took a step toward him.

"Tom..." She reached for his arm, and despite her soft hand landing on the fabric of his uniform, she could feel the tense muscles underneath.

"I have to go. 0500. Be ready," he pulled away from her and walked off. He wanted to pull her in his arms and beg her not to go, but he couldn't bring himself to. Instead, by nature, he distanced himself, tried not to let his emotions get the best of him. Little did he know it was too late for that.

Rachel watched him leave and felt a sick pit in her stomach. Why was he being so difficult? Why didn't he understand where she was coming from? He was being uncharacteristically cold. It left her feeling anxious.

She had already made a list of the things she would need and began to gather them, still looking forward to the prospect of studying this virus further. Despite her feelings for Tom, she had a job to do, a reason she was put on this ship in the first place. And she was going to make sure they did everything they could to keep people from getting sick and save the ones that already were.

That didn't take away the fact that making the man she cared about angry wasn't something she prided herself in.

* * *

Rachel purposely went to the wardroom for dinner to see him, and was disappointed when he wasn't there. She took her time eating, every time the door opened, her hope would rise, and then fall when it wasn't him. She tried to keep her emotions hidden, tried not to display them all over her face, but the truth was, with every hour that went by that she didn't see him, she felt worse about it. Maybe she should stay, maybe going was a bad idea.

She pushed her food around, sighing.

* * *

"Tex," Chandler called out to the bearded man, who was about to pass him on the p-way. Tex offered Tom a smile.

"Good evening, Commodore. Burk said you were looking for me," Tex's voice was questioning. He hadn't seen the Captain in a few days, hadn't seen Dr. Scott either. That didn't sit easy with him. He sensed something might be brewing between the two, but he couldn't say for sure.

"You up for an adventure?" Tom inquired, a wry smile on his face. Tex raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

"Hell yeah. What's the plan?"

"I'd like you to go to Deer Park with Slattery, Green, Burk, Dr. Scott, and a few others. They're going in search of Commander Slattery's family. I think they could use your assistance."

"Whoa, did you say you're sending Dr. Scott? I thought for sure you'd never let her set foot off the ship again," Tex laughed, surprised by the fact the Captain was letting her go on a mission. Tom's jaw tightened.

"I'm not happy about it," he grumbled, pacing a little in front of Tex, "That's why I want you to go, to help watch out for her. You know how she gets, so focused on her work, she won't be looking out for what danger might be around," Tex could tell emotions were lying under the Captain's words. His own expression grew more serious.

"I'd be happy to, sir. I'll make sure she stays safe," and he would, with his life. He cared about her that much.

"Knew I could count on you, Tex. Thank you," he nodded his thanks to the other man, "Be ready at 0500 tomorrow to go," they parted ways, and Tom felt a little bad, knowing he was using Tex's feeling about the doctor a little bit to his advantage at keeping her out of harm's way. But he felt desperate. He'd already lost his wife. If he lost her too...

* * *

The sun hadn't even begun to rise over the horizon as everyone gathered on the deck. Mike felt anxious, which mirrored Rachel's feelings as she checked and re-checked her supplies. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Danny and Kara said a tearful goodbye. They had no idea how long they be gone, since they weren't taking the helo. They were hoping to jump a Humvee or two from the Navy base on shore. Attempted contact had revealed nothing, no response was given. Mason had tried since they'd entered the area the evening before, but to no avail. They suspected they'd have no issue borrowing a couple of the Humvees. They just hoped they'd be able to get fuel along the way.

Tom stepped onto the desk, zipping up his jacket. The winter sea air was chilly. He took survey of the group on the deck, preparing for departure. He'd been up all night, barely slept, worrying about this. Something just didn't feel right, and he really didn't want her going.

He checked in with Mike, then Danny, making his way to her. They were dropping supplies into the RHIBS. It was almost time for them to go. She was pulling on her pack as he approached her, looking out of place amongst his crew, in her jeans, boots, and tan jacket. Her hair was half pulled back, and she looked almost as she did the day he'd met her.

She looked up as he stepped into her view, but she stayed focused on task. She had tried to sleep, had hoped he'd make a secret visit to her room as he had that one time, but he never came. And she hadn't seen him since the few minutes in the lab. Her feelings were quite hurt by his distant behavior. Was he so angry with her that he didn't want to spend anytime with her before she left, or was he not nearly as interested in her as he'd led her to believe?

The guys began down to the boats. This was it, he had a few moments and she'd be gone. He kept his hands at his sides.

"Please stay aware of your surroundings and listen to Mike," His words were tight, his tone serious. She didn't look at him.

"I've been in war-zones before, Captain, and I'm not a child." Her tone was just as curt.

"I didn't say you were," he watched her avoid his eyes, look everywhere but at his face. He was worried, his mind running down all the things that could possibly go wrong. He wanted to ask her to stay, because he needed her. Because he cared about her, more than he could articulate. He stood in front of her, silent while she waited for her turn.

She finally chanced a look up at him. She caught his icy blues, noticed they were still pained and serious. "Anything further, Captain?"

He flinched at the way she used his title, the tone it carried. How had he allowed them to get this distant?

She wanted him to hold her, to support her in this. They were running out of time. Was he trying to be professional for the crew? "_Fuck professionalism," _she thought to herself, "_Say it Tom, give me something, anything,_" she begged in her mind as she stared up at him. His demeanor never changed.

"Be safe," he struggled out, wishing to replace it with something else. He couldn't, not in front of the crew.

"We will," her voice didn't mask the disappointment that was evident, and she dropped her eyes, turning away. "Tell the children I said goodbye," she called over her shoulder as she began to walk away, her turn to climb down into the boats. He clenched his fists, wanting to tell her to stop. He didn't respond and she turned fully, dropping her eyes.

The boat was headed for shore before he moved from his spot. His feet felt like lead as he walked to the rail, and he suddenly held a huge heart full of regret. What had he just done?

* * *

_This chapter broke my heart a little. But I have big plans, and I think you guys will be pleased as we get there. We're going to meet some new characters, too!_

_I love hearing your theories on what you think is going to happen, so suspect away! It may even change the way I have the story going, you never know!_

_Thank you for your incredible reviews, you all are amazing. I am so happy people are still reading-I was worried two chapters ago about your enjoyment and whether people were still reading, but I am so happy to know you all are still with me. We have 8 more months to go! Thank goodness for fanfic and the crews behind the scenes shots! Has everyone seen the pics Eric Dane and Rhona Mitra posted yesterday on their instagrams?! They slay me. _

_Thanks to CathyCath for the inspiration in her last video to help me finish this chapter!_

_The song below I used to write this chapter, especially the end. Oh, Tom &amp; Rachel, what a mess you've made :( _

_Wishing everyone a fabulous Thanksgiving! _

"_Should've kissed you there_

_I should've held your face_

_I should have watched those eyes_

_Instead of run in place_

_I should've called you out_

_I should've said your name_

_I should've turned around_

_I should've looked again_

_But I'm staring at the mess I made_

_As you turn, you take your heart and walk away" The Mess I Made-Parachute_


	23. Chapter 21

_Thank you for all your amazing reviews! I really couldn't write this without the support of each of you! _

_Thanks to CathyCath and Pandora576 for their incredible Tom/Rachel videos. They are balm to the writer's soul when it comes to these two. Keep the inspiration coming! We're a small fandom-we've got to stick together!_

_I know I owe a few of you reviews on your fics—I haven't forgotten! I wanted to get this posted so I could then focus on your updates :)_

_I'm SO EXCITED to write the next few chapters. Please bear with me, as I have to do a lot of research about a lot that goes into this fic, and that takes time. I'm hoping to update again this week, let's see how that plays out._

_Thank you again for reading and reviewing! I look forward to your thoughts on this chapter :D_

* * *

"Daddy, I went down to the lab, Rachel isn't there. Is she sick?" Ashley pushed open his cabin door, worry written across her face. He looked up at her, his tired eyes heavy. She sat down next to him on his sofa in his cabin, and he noted the concern that was evident in her little voice. Tom sipped his coffee, biding his time.

"No, sweetie," he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. He should have had her say goodbye to the children-the thought hadn't even occurred to him, he'd been so upset himself. He hadn't even thought about what her absence would do to his kids, "Rachel went with Mike to find his family." He kissed the side of her head, but she pushed away.

"When are they coming back?" Her big brown eyes were staring up at him, demanding the answer, and it broke his heart to realize how attached his children had grown to her. He knew they were close, but as he looked at Ashley's expression, he knew it ran far deeper than he'd originally thought.

"I don't know, baby. Could be a week, maybe more," He rubbed a calloused hand over her soft brown hair. Another pang hit him-she looked so much like her mother.

"She didn't say goodbye," Now Ashley just looked sad. His heart wrenched.

"It was a last minute decision and you were already in bed, she didn't want to wake you," he couldn't let Rachel look like the bad guy in this, wouldn't let them view her as anything other than what they already did.

"I wish she had. What if she doesn't come back?" She stared at her little hands, her voice quiet and tight. Tom knew her words came from a place where she'd experienced that type of loss. He pulled her close again, and didn't know how to tell her he had the same fears.

"She will, Ash. She'll come back," he held her tightly against him, comforting her. He repeated the words, and questioned whether he was saying them for her benefit or his own.

* * *

Rachel was quiet in the back of the Humvee as they drove across Virginia. She, Mike, Tex and Burk rode in one, Danny and his men behind in another. Her mind kept traveling back to the ship, hours ago now. His stern look was stuck in her mind, his lack of emotion. "_Be safe"_ was all he'd been able to say, and that did nothing to settle her anxiety about everything.

If she could go back in time, she wondered if she would have gone as far as she did with him. What had changed really? Nothing as far as she could tell. They'd had a few days of emotion but other than that, things remained the same, if not worse.

Mike chanced a glance over his shoulder at her from the front passenger seat. He'd seen their exchange, noted her somber mood. The signs were becoming more obvious. Something was up between her and Tom. Not that he blamed the man, she was an attractive woman, but whatever appeared to be going on was not something that put her mind at ease.

They passed severe devastation as they drove, ransacked towns, riddled with the remnants of the people who'd been there before. It was awful to witness. They had their guns ready, never sure when they'd come across hostile people. So far, they hadn't seen any survivors or any dead. It was eerie.

They had jumped two humvees and found a manual gas pump. They were a little more than four hours into their trip, and would need to gas up soon. They'd filled as many gas cans as they could find, which would help them get to Deer Park but made them a hot target to anyone with a big enough gun. Mike held his breath every time they entered a new town. .But so far, everything appeared barren.

Shortly after passing through the next town, they pulled to the side of the road to fill up the tanks. The men jumped out and kept watch while their comrads filled the tanks. Rachel pulled out a water bottle, taking a sip before climbing out of the car to stretch.

"How ya doing, Doc?" Tex inquired, standing at the ready, his high powered rifle loaded and settled comfortably in his arms. She pulled her jacket tighter around herself. It was cold. The snow crunched under her boots.

"All right. Wishing Illinois was a little closer," she sighed, taking in her surroundings. Tex chuckled.

"You ready to head back to the ship already? I would have figured you for more of a land traveler, than a sea mouse," he glanced at her, watching her lean her back against the car.

"Riding in cars is not my favorite," she gave him a laugh, "I think I prefer my sea legs, or the back of a horse" and truth be told, she missed Tom already, despite his anger with her.

"Ahh, a cowgirl, huh? A girl after my own heart," the quip brought small laughter from her lips.

"You have horses back in Reno?" she asked curiously, trying to pull her mind away from the blue eyes she missed more than she could admit to her heart.

"Only the iron kind." he winked at her, before the command came to get back in the car. "We had a few draft horses when I was a kid," he added as he climbed in next to her. "You have horses back in ole' England?"

"Yes. Several polo horses, but my father gave me a Welsh pony when I was a young girl," her eyes looked far away, and he suspected she'd loved that animal with all her heart.

"I bet you were a wild child," Tex eyed her with a grin. She chuckled as the humvees moved on their way.

"Oh yes, rebellious is a good word," she shook her head at memories of her younger years.

"Well, I'd have to say it doesn't seem as though you've grown out of that trait," Tex had been able to tell from his exchange with Tom that he hadn't exactly been keen on Rachel going with the group. Rebellion was something Rachel was kindred with.

She didn't answer him, only offered a soft smile, looking back out the window. He watched her for a moment, taking in her lost expression. This one was a hard one to read. He couldn't tell what she was thinking sometimes. Whatever it was, he suspected it wasn't about him.

* * *

Tom read his reports, ate his lunch, and his dinner, and realized how much time he actually spent on a day to day basis with Mike. The absence of his XO was throwing him. Knowing she was gone too was slicing at him.

Night fell on the quiet ship, and he wasn't quite sure where the day had gone. He'd been busy, but it wasn't the same.

He leaned against the railing at the back of destroyer, overlooking the calm waters of the Atlantic Ocean. He had anxiety in his gut. He couldn't help but feel as though his decision to let Mike, Rachel, and their team off the ship was a terrible idea.

"Hmmm, I used to find your counterpart out here string at the water. It's strange to find you here instead," his father joined him at the railing, handing his son a steaming cup of coffee. "I know you're more of a coffee drinker, so I brought you that. She prefers tea," his old eyes twinkled in the moonlight, and Tom gave him a small grin.

"That she does," he replied softly, staring back out at the water. Jed studied his son. They didn't talk much about her, but it was time they did. He'd watched Tom say goodbye to her this morning, or lack thereof. He'd made a mistake, and Jed wasn't one to let his son make stupid mistakes.

"When do you suspect they'll return?" he asked innocently. Tom shrugged.

"Best case scenario, a week."

"Worst case scenario?" Jed pushed a little. Tom sighed.

"Anything longer than a week," Tom replied. "They have enough food and water to get them through two weeks. After that they'll have to seek other options," Jed could hear the worry in Tom's voice.

"If she doesn't come back?" Tom's head whipped around, his brow furrowed. Jed raised his innocently. "What? It's a fair question. Did you tell her how you feel before you let her head off into the woods with Tex?" Tom gritted his teeth together, his stance becoming one of defense.

"She's not interested in Tex," he countered, his eyes narrowing.

"How can you be so sure? Does she know _you're_ interested?" Jed sipped his coffee, waiting for Tom to respond.

Tom chose his words carefully, still not sure about letting things out in the open. "She has some idea of how I feel." Hopefully taking her to bed had given her some indication, he thought to himself.

"And how do you feel?" Jed pushed more. Tom needed to say it outloud, Jed knew. If he could just get out of his own head enough, his heart would do the rest.

"I care about her," he began, then paused, seemingly unable to find the words.

"But..?" Jed could feel the implied hesitation.

"But I miss Darien," the words were quietly said, and full of emotion. Tom clutched the top wire until his knuckles on his left hand were white. His wedding band stood out against his pale skin.

"Of course you do, Tommy. I miss your mother every day, and I will forever. But that doesn't mean we sit back and let life pass us by. Darien would want you to be happy, you know that." Jed placed a comforting hand on Tom's back.

"But it's only been a couple months," Tom argued in response.

"No, not necessarily. You've been apart from her for over 7 months now."

"I was still very much married during my deployment," Tom replied quickly, and angrily.

"Of course. But you lived without her then, and you'll live without her now," Jed knew he needed to encourage Tom, that Tom needed to realize that it was okay for him to care for Rachel. He was fighting it with almost everything he had. He didn't want to care for her yet, didn't think it was all right to do so. But Jed also knew that if Tom didn't get his head on straight, there was a chance she'd be gone before anything had the opportunity to start. Jed knew how she felt.

"Dad, I'm not sure what you're point is," Tom's stubborn nature could make Jed's blood boil sometimes. Thank goodness he was the most difficult of his three kids.

"My point is that it's all right for you to care about Rachel. Your feelings for her probably started long before Darien passed, but you ignored them. And that makes you feel as though you've cheated on Darien. Not to mention, I'm sure you're still beating yourself up over the fact that you didn't get to her in time with the cure. But Tommy, I'm telling you, Darien didn't blame you. You saved the kids. _Rachel_ saved the kids. And those kids have not gone without since, thanks to your incredible crew and that woman you let walk away today."

"But Pop, I can't just forget about my wife," Tom's voice was full of emotion, and Jed knew he was still coming to terms with all that had happened. He didn't blame him.

"No one is asking you to. I'm just telling you to make a move if you don't want to lose Rachel."

"We have codes and rules, Dad. I can't start seeing someone here, now. The world is a mess. And those two kids need stability."

"There is no Navy, no infrastructure. You've said so yourself. And from what I've learned of her these past couple of months, she's a hell of a lot more stable than you are sometimes," Jed countered, giving his son a challenging look.

"Oh yeah, and what have you learned of her?" Tom crossed his arms, jutting his chin out. He was actually curious about what his father knew about Rachel.

Jed didn't miss a beat, "I know she's incredibly dedicated, to her research, and to your kids. Whether she'd say it out loud or not, she's enamored by those children, as they are her. And she's enamored with you. It's obvious. But you two do this song and dance, and keep everything bottled up. I'm telling you, Tommy, she's something you don't want to miss out on."

Tom took in his father's words. _Enamored._ That was an interesting word choice. He was most certainly enamored with her. But then the guilt rolled right back in like a big wave, and his stomached tightened, as it did every time. Jed could read his face as he digested the information.

"You have a lot of coping to do, son. I suggest you work on that while she's away."

"I should have gone with them," Tom grumbled, staring up at the night sky. Jed shook his head.

"No. You should have told her how you felt before you let her get off this ship," Jed slapped Tom on the back, and yawned. "You're giving me high blood pressure," he laughed, "If your sister was here, she'd be cursing you for doing so," Tom laughed at the thought—his little sister Jenny had been a cardiothorasic surgeon at Northwestern Memorial in Chicago when he'd left for deployment back in June. There was no telling where she was now. His little brother Jimmy was an Army Ranger, just like their father. He'd been stationed at Fort Bliss. Jed hadn't heard from either of them in months. Tom knew his father shared his worry, and they both silently wondered if they were still alive.

"Well, maybe someday she'll get the opportunity to kick my ass one more time," part of Tom wondered if she would be in Deer Park, by coincidence. Part of him prayed she was. But he didn't spend too much time hoping, for he didn't want to get his hopes up.

"Maybe," Jed echoed, his thoughts following the same path.

* * *

Fifteen hours in a bumpy humvee could make anyone crazy, but Rachel was more than ready for this trip to be over. She wanted out of the car, wanted to get what they needed, and get back to the ship. She'd had fourteen long hours to think about what she'd say to him the next time she saw him. And about how maybe their recent behavior had been a bad idea.

Her mind had wondered back to those racy moments, and she could feel a blush rise in her cheeks. She was thankful darkness had fallen. The thought of his warm arms around her was a welcomed one, and that would lead to thoughts of their private moments, the feeling of being the center of his attention for those precious minutes, the feeling of him above her, touching her. They were something she was having a hard time forgetting.

That also lead to another thought, one that made her want to smack her head on a brick wall. They hadn't used protection either time. She was a doctor, maybe a scientist, but a doctor no less, who understood the human body. She knew better, knew they had been playing with fire. If she wound up pregnant—that was not the conversation she wanted to have with him. Did she want a baby? She was realizing she did more now than she ever had. But now? Not necessarily. With him? He was a wonderful, doting father to his children. It would be a wonderful thing to bear his child. But he didn't seem ready for that, and truth be told, neither was she.

Her hand subconsciously ran over her midsection, and she briefly wondered 'what if'. The thought didn't last long, as a movement caught her attention. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something alongside the road.

"Lt. Burk, stop the truck," she leaned forward in her seat, grasping the side of the driver's seat, and turning to look out the window. Mike turned in his seat as best he could.

"Dr. Scott, what's wrong?" he asked, concerned. Admittedly, he'd been dozing. He was now fully awake and aware that something was happening.

"I saw something, it looked like a small child," she replied, squinting against the darkness. Burk drew the vehicle to a stop, and before it was in park, Rachel was bounding out of the military vehicle.

"Dr. Scott, wait!" Slattery, pushed open his door quickly, rifle off safety and loaded. Burk radioed to Danny, who came to a stop behind their humvee. Tex followed Mike around the car, as they headed back past the second humvee.

"It was back here," she didn't carry a weapon as everyone else did, she had a pistol in her pack but pulling it out for safety wasn't her concern. The men spread out, scouring the area. Mike jogged to catch up to her.

"Dr. Scott, please let us secure the area before you head out into the darkness," he took note of how dark it really was. Despite the moon's reflection on the snow, there was no other lights except the headlights of the humvees. He pulled out his flashlight, switched it on. The other men followed suit, as they ventured farther from the cars.

He suspected they were near their destination, Deer Park. If they could just get her back in the car-

"There!" she called out. She could see movement in the distance. She picked up a jog. What would a child be doing out here alone, she wondered.

"Dr. Scott!" Mike tried to call after her, caution her to wait for them, but it was no use. She had been ahead of them, and was quicker than he was in his heavy gear.

Rachel could now hear the whimpers of the child as she grew closer. The blonde-haired girl looked about six, lying in the dirty snow close to the road. Her face was scraped up, and her fingers were uncovered, and showing the beginning signs of frost bite. She looked up at Rachel with fearful blue eyes, and Rachel dropped to her knees beside the little girl, pulling open her pack. "Easy," she cooed to the child, "You're all right," she pulled out a thermal blanket, and after covering the girl, began to check her vitals. Mike and Danny had just about reached her when a voice rang out from the darkness.

"Get away from the girl!"

The man sounded angry, and before Rachel could react, a gunshot pierced the air.

Rachel would describe herself as tough if asked, but as the bullet tore at her flesh, she knew she'd never felt such pain in all her life.


	24. Chapter 22

_Merry Christmas loves! I snuck away to finish this and get it posted for you. It's not as long as I had intended, but I wanted to post something for you amazing readers! I know I owe a bunch of you reviews, and I promise I'll read and review this weekend (and update again!). _

_You all are amazing! Thank you for reading! Please leave me a line on how you're feeling about this chapter and the story—thank would be a wonderful present to me! _

_Merry Christmas! I wish you all a happy and safe holiday! XOXO_

Chapter 22

Mike's men drew their weapons, looking for a target in the distance. Danny was the only one who didn't; instead he dropped to his knees, pressing his hand over the wound in his attempt to stop the immediate blood flow from Rachel's shoulder. She writhed in pain on the ground, her eyes wide with fear.

"Danny! Help the girl," she managed out, pointing at the horrified little girl with her injured arm. She cried out in pain at the movement, as Green glanced at the child.

"Tex! Check the kid!" he called out to their friend, who was shocked at the scene playing out before him. Tex was a man of action, but seeing Rachel on the ground bleeding…he wasn't prepared for the sight. Under the cover of Burk, he moved quickly to the child, taking over where Rachel had left off.

"Easy," Danny comforted Rachel, "Look at me," he looked to her eyes, got him to lock her eyes with his. He could see the fear there, the panic. He quietly shushed her, "Stay with me. You'll be fine. I promise," he held pressure on the wound, remembered the time she had saved Cruz. He was not carrying her back to the ship in a body bag. He couldn't bare another loss, or having to present her to his CO deceased. The thought made his heart race.

Rachel could feel searing pain; it made her sick to her stomach. She'd been grazed by bullets in the Artic, but this pain was nothing she had ever experienced. She kept her eyes on Danny's, could read the worry and the concern upon his face. The pressure he was putting on her shoulder was intense. She gripped his bicep through his jacket with her good arm as best she could to try to dull the pain.

"Whoever you are, stand down! We are United States Navy. We are looking for Deer Park. We mean you no harm," Slattery called out into the darkness. He motioned for his men to lower their weapons. "Does the child belong to you?" He looked down at Rachel, and despite Danny's efforts, she was bleeding into the snow. A man approached, and Burk made sure his gun was ready, should he need to protect his XO.

Slattery moved his flashlight to the man's face, and could feel his pale. "James?" He asked incredulously. Surprise, anger, and relief were mixed emotions running through his blood. The man's Army fatigues were exposed under a thick Army issued winter jacket. His gun still up, the flashlight in his eyes, it took the man a moment to realize who was speaking to him. His eyes widened.

"Mike?" he asked, his voice expressing his shock. He looked around at the Navy sailors who surrounded him, and then down at the injured woman. The younger man's face dropped, suddenly realizing what he had done. "What…how…what are you doing out here?" he exclaimed, dropping his gun to the ground.

"We're looking for Christine and my girls, what are you doing up here?" Last he'd known, Tom's little brother had been stationed in Texas. Slattery's men exchanged confused, unsure glances, as Mike's friend pulled his pack off, pulling out a first aid kit, kneeling beside Rachel and the child in the cold snow.

"When everything started falling apart, I left Fort Bliss and came up here to get Jenny and go with her to Dad's. We never made it that far," James pulled out bandaging, handing it to Danny before turning his attention the girl. "Sarah, why did you run off like that?" he asked, clearly upset. He handed Tex another blanket to cover the girl. Her teeth rattled.

"Why did they leave me behind?" she started to cry, and James offered her a sympathic look. Before he could respond, Danny spoke.

"This whole reunion thing is very charming, but who the hell are you and where is your town?" He looked up to Mike, "She's losing a lot of blood, Commander. We need to get her somewhere clean and warm, so we can prevent her from going into shock and clean the wound." He glared at the man he didn't know, could feel Rachel's bare fingers digging into his arm as he held pressure to the wound.

"Jimmy, where is the nearest town?" Mike's voice displayed the urgent intent, and the man gestured the direction they'd been heading.

"About thirty minutes down the road," he replied. He caught Mike's eyes, "Christine and the girls are there," he replied quietly. Mike felt a flush of relief run through his system. "I'm so sorry about this," James shook his head, regret written all over his face.

"Let's go!" He knew James was sorry, but that didn't fix it. The one person who couldn't get hurt had been shot, and Mike didn't know how he'd ever be able to tell Tom the truth. Tom's own brother had shot Rachel. Mike sucked in a breath. He knew then Tom had been right—she shouldn't have come.

XXXXX

The ride to the small cluster of houses was a tense one, and Danny did his best to keep pressure on Rachel's wound as she lay across his lap. She fluttered in and out of consciousness, was vaguely aware of what went on around her. The pain was severe; she suspected she was blacking out more from the pain than anything. She could feel an occasional squeeze on her hand, knew it was Tex. Though she wished it was someone else entirely.

The Humvees came to a stop and the men poured out of them to assist Danny in moving Rachel. A younger woman came bolting out of the house, her long blonde hair flowing out behind her in the cold air. Her eyes were wide as she took in the men scurrying around the large vehicles. She raised her hand gun, and the men slowed their movements.

"Stop right now and tell me who you are!" She held the gun out straight in front of her, with the precision of a pro. It was an interesting contrast to her cotton pajamas and white down jacket.

Mike stepped around the vehicle, his hands weaponless hands raised up. "Jenny, it's Mike Slattery," he made himself visible in the headlights of the truck, and her eyes widened as she slowly dropped her gun.

"Mike?" She repeated, surprise evident in her voice. Mike dropped his hands.

"I'm looking for Christine," Mike began wearily, "Is she-" he wasn't able to finished his sentence as his two teenage daughters bounded out of the house behind Jenny.

"Dad?" the younger, blonde one cried out, shocked. A tall brunette practically squealed with joy.

"It's him!" She grabbed her sister by the arm, and Mike could feel his heart practically burst with joy. Tears sprung to his eyes as the girls ran toward him.

"Hannah! Tiffany!" He embraced them as they threw themselves in his arms. His men slowed their movements to watch the touching reunion for a moment, until his wife appeared. They, ten, hurried out of the way so give the Commander room and privacy. Christine stood on the house's steps, one arm wrapped around herself, her other hand over her mouth. Mike met her eyes, could see the glistening tears. She advanced slowly toward him, as if unsure it was actually her husband.

"Mike, what are you—how did you-," she couldn't finish her words as a sob escaped her lips. As soon as she was close enough, he pulled her in, kissing the side of her head as she sobbed into his shoulder. "I didn't think you'd come," she cried. He sucked in a breath, holding back his own sob.

"Of course I would," he whispered, holding his family close as they cried.

Jenny moved to Danny, as he carried Rachel toward her. "We need a doctor, can someone help us?" his voice gave away his panic, as Rachel lay still and bleeding in his arms. Jenny checked her pulse, put her gun in the back of her jeans.

"I'm a doctor, follow me." She headed for the house, and Danny followed close behind the pretty blonde. "What happened?"

"I shot her, Jen. I didn't mean to, they were hovering around Sarah and I thought they were hurting her," Jimmy followed behind Danny, remorseful and worried. Jenny sighed heavily.

"What did you shoot her with?" Jenny cleared a table in the dark kitchen, candlelight their only source of light. Danny pulled out his flashlight after he laid Rachel down. Jenny gave him a thankful nod.

"My M-4."

"Jesus, Jimmy!" She sucked in her breath, and wasted no time tearing open Rachel's shirt and assessing the wound. "The bullet exited through her shoulder blade, which is good for infection, but her shoulder blade is most likely broken. I'll know more once I fully assess the damage," Mike rounded the corner into the small kitchen, peering around.

"So this is your operating room now," he chuckled. Jenny scoffed.

"I make due. I haven't had any patients in quite some time. Thanks for bringing some excitement," she gathered medical supplies throughout the room, as Burk and Tex stepped in behind Mike.

"Well, I'm going to need you to do your best here, or your brother will have my head," his voice was serious and a grim look covered his handsome face. Jenny looked down at the unconscious woman and up at Mike.

"Tom is alive?" Danny looked from Jenny, to Jimmy, and back to Mike while Jenny questioned the Commander. Mike nodded.

"Hell yeah," he confirmed. Jenny sighed one of relief, while Jimmy muttered a 'Thank God'. Danny was confused.

"So wait, you're the Captain's sister?"

"Green, Burk, Tex, meet Dr. Jenny Chandler, and Sgt. Jimmy Chandler, US Army," He turned his attention to Jenny, who was busy cleaning Rachel's wound. "Jenny, I'm serious. Please. Do what you can."

Jenny locked eyes with Mike. "I will, but I might need more than I have available here." She looked worried, but Mike's expression was one of confidence.

"We have what you need on the ship," he replied. She looked up at him, questioning.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm taking Christine and the girls back with us, and I insist you come along. Especially now," he gestured toward Rachel as she began to regain consciousness. Blood flowed from Rachel's shoulder and Jenny cursed under her breath.

"She may not make the trip," Jenny gestured to Rachel, who cried out in pain. Mike clenched his jaw.

"She's got to, Jenny. Or Tom will have all our heads."


	25. Chapter 23

_Your reviews were incredible for the last chapter, despite how short it was! Thank you so much! _

_Of course, I had to update for you guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter! _

_ Since I've introduced a few new characters, I wanted to put faces to the names. Casting is as follows:_

_Dr. Jenny Chandler- Michaela McManus (who was actually supposed to play Danny's love interest as Jackie Makenna, but then they re-cast her with Marissa Neitling as Kara Foster.)_

_Sgt. James 'Jimmy' Chandler- Jonny Weston (I really felt like between his chin and hair, he looked like a younger version of Eric. Jimmy is the baby of the family. )_

_Christine Slattery- Catherine Bell (I felt like she would compliment Mike very well. I always think of her as a strong female character and with our XO being who he is, I thought they'd make a nice pairing) _

_I haven't 'cast' the daughters, they're not a priority for me at this time. I'll let your imaginations mix Mike and Christine together :) I hope casting the three main new characters doesn't mess anything up for y'all. _

_Joys: To respond to your wonderful long review, you're spot on in a lot of ways. I can't elaborate too much yet, but you'll see things coming that are definitely in your review. Thank you for the wonderful long review. It is so, so appreciated! _

_And to everyone, thank you again for your most wonderful reviews! I write this for you guys, and I cannot tell you enough how thankful I am for your reviews! They seriously put a huge smile on my face and keep me writing! _

_I used "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift and the Civil Wars to write this chapter, in case anyone was curious. _

_I hope you enjoy this chapter! _

_XXXX_

Chapter 23

Tom turned off the treadmill and stepped off, wiping the sweat from his brow. It was later, or early, depending on how one looked at it, and he wasn't able to sleep. He thought about that time he'd run into her here; he could see it vividly in his imagination. He missed her, he couldn't deny that. She'd only been gone barely twenty-four hours, and here he was, losing sleep over it. He shook his head. Since when had he become a sap?

He threw the towel in the bin and made his way through the bulkhead and down the p-way toward his quarters. He stopped by the wardroom for an after-workout snack, and found Kara at the table, a bowl of oatmeal settled in front of her. She moved to stand out of respect, but he shook his head with a small smile and she sat back down, greeting him with a return grin.

"Evening, sir," she spoke, pushing the oatmeal around. He checked his watch again, and eyed the young woman.

"Good evening, Kara. What has you up at 0300?" He inquired, purposefully using her first name, so she'd know it was all right to be casual with him. She sighed as he sat down across from her with a banana. He watched her lean back in her chair and place her hand on the slight protrusion in her abdomen.

"Just worrying about Danny, I guess," Kara admitted. He nodded in understanding.

"We're quite a pair," he replied, before he could stop the words. She looked up, furrowing her brow.

"Sir?" she questioned, confused. He chuckled, shaking his head.

"Sorry, I wasn't talk about Danny, I'm not worried about him. I'm sure he's fine." His voice and confidence was comforting to Kara.

"Then what's keeping you up late?" she inquired, leaning forward again and pushing her food around the bowl. It was his turn to sigh.

"I hate that Dr. Scott went with them," he offered up the honest remark, though vague. Kara regarded him curiously, the wheels in her mind turning.

"Why did she go?" Kara treaded carefully, but was curious nonetheless. He chewed thoughtfully.

"She wanted to continue her research. She insisted, and I caved and let her go," he sighed, running his free hand over his hair.

"You're worried for her safety?" Kara followed up, "Danny, Burk, and Commander Slattery are with her. I'm sure she's fine. And Tex would never let anything happen to her," she finished, eying the Captain. She watched the muscles in his broad jaw tense, noticed the way he didn't meet her eyes.

"Let's hope," he replied quietly. Kara could tell there was more to his concern than that, but left if alone. He changed the subject, "I think you and that growing baby need some sleep," he raised a fatherly eyebrow at her and her cheeks reddened.

"Yes, sir, you're right. Not much we could so from here, anyway, I suppose," she stood with her bowl, and he noticed, in her cotton sweatpants and long sleeve flannel shirt how young she really looked. He knew from her personnel file she was 26. He still couldn't help but feel a fatherly affection for the girl. She reminded him of his sister.

"They'll be back soon enough, all in one piece," he found some comforting words from within, hoped they rang true. She turned from cleaning her bowl, and gave him a grateful smile.

"I hope so," she dried to bowl and walked toward the door. "Thank you, Captain. Good night," she gave him a warm smile before exiting the ward room. The smile on his lips fell and he rubbed over his face with his hands.

He certainly hoped his words rang true.

XXXX

The room was quiet as Danny sat silently next to Rachel. She lay still on the table they had put her on an hour ago, and though Jenny had been able to stop the bleeding temporarily with sewing thread, the pain Rachel felt was enough to take her breath away. The thread was on the surface as well as deep within her shoulder. A pillow was underneath her injured side, elevating the possibly fractured scapula from the table. Danny held her right hand tightly, the white tint to Rachel's face scaring him.

He could hear Jenny and Mike talking faintly in the next room. They were discussing, or rather arguing, about the trip back to the ship, and taking their people with them. Danny could hear every few words, but wasn't sure where the argument stemmed from. He focused on Rachel again as she heaved a sigh and shuttered in pain.

She turned her head toward him, forcing her eyes open. " Distract me, will you?" she whispered in request to the younger man.

"How?" he asked, unsure of how he could possibly distract her from the pain.

"Tell me about how the Captain is going to punish the Commander for bringing me back shot," she teased as best she could, laughing a little before sucking in a breath in pain. She felt very weak, knew she'd lost a lot of blood. They didn't have any to transfuse with, either. This wasn't looking very good for her.

Danny chuckled, but it was hollow. "He's not just going to dress down the Commander, I have a feeling we'll all be in a lot of trouble upon our return," he looked down at where their hands connected. "He's definitely not going to be happy," Danny confirmed. Rachel made a sound that could have been taken for a laugh.

"Please tell him it was no one's fault but my own. I should have waited for you all, I shouldn't have gone ahead," she closed her eyes, and licked her dry lips, "I don't want anyone else being blamed for my own stupidity." She knew Tom was going to be furious, but if someone could tell him it was all her own fault, that would save distress amongst the crew. He would only need to be mad at her.

"You can tell him yourself when we get back," Danny said, with conviction.

"If I don't make it back, Danny, please make sure you tell him that," She opened her eyes to catch his blue eyes.

He didn't respond. He wasn't letting her die here.

A beat passed before she spoke again, pushing down the nausea. "Tell me, Danny, are you going to make an honest woman of Kara?"

Danny chuckled in surprise, his cheeks flaming.

"I'm not sure how," he started, seeming to be contemplating the idea. "I wish I could give her a ring, and she could have the perfect wedding day she deserves.." he drifted off, his voice wistful.

Rachel regarded him, focusing on his young, handsome face. "Why can't you?"

Danny scoffed at her question. "How exactly would I do that?"

"We'll ask Mike for Christine's dress, and I'm sure we can find a ring suitable for her," Danny could hear the fatigue in her voice, her eyes remaining closed.

"I'm sure Mrs. Slattery doesn't have her wedding dress here," Danny laughed a little at the thought. A small smile graced Rachel's lips.

"You won't know until you ask. I bet she was Kara's size when they got married. Kara isn't really showing yet, it shouldn't be a problem," she took a few shallow breaths, and Danny could feel her hand go slack in his. He stood, standing over her.

"Dr. Scott, stay with me," he begged her, running a hand over her hair. She opened her eyes slowly, and he noticed how swollen her eyelids were for the first time.

"Shh, Danny, I'm so tired," she whispered, a faint smile on her lips. "When you see Tom, tell him I'm sorry."

"Rachel, you'll tell him yourself," he gritted his teeth, squeezing her limp hand. "Rachel? Rachel!" her breathing shallowed out, and he panicked. He dropped her hand and strode into the next room, Jenny and Mike still arguing about what their best option was. He interrupted them. "We've got to get back to the Nathan James. Now!"

XXXX

Mike knocked on the door frame to the room Christine shared with their girls. She was gathering their things.

"We're leaving in a few minutes," he began, stepping over the threshold. A tension sat between them, he presumed it was about Lucas. She turned to face him, but didn't look at him.

"We'll be ready," she replied, as he stepped closer to her. He tentatively reached out and placed a hand on either of her arms, and she looked up at him. He could see unshed tears in her eyes.

"I promise, you'll be safe with us. I know a destroyer isn't an ideal home, but we'll make due," Mike pushed a strand of her hair from her face, heard her sniffling.

"It was the hardest 6 months of my life, Mike," she began, a tear rolling down her cheek. He whisked it away. "Losing Lucas, not knowing where you were," he wrapped his arms around her, and she cried into his fatigues.

"I promise, Christine, it's all over. You and the girls are safe now. We're together," he knew things had been rocky between them as he had headed out for this deployment, but he'd told himself, if he found her, he would be a better husband and father than he had been before. Now he had his chance.

She didn't respond, but her tears slowed. She wiped her face and peered up at his in the darkness. She could see the pain in his eyes, the softness in his expression. She'd missed him so much, despite all.

"I'll be down in a few minutes, let me just grab a couple more things," she turned from him, reaching for the suitcase on the bed.

"Christine," he began, feeling a bit foolish for asking this question, but having promised Danny he would, for Rachel's sake. "You didn't happen to bring your wedding dress up here, did you?"

XXXX

_Oh yes, kids! The next chapter is the one you are all waiting for! A Tom/Rachel reunion! You'll get it before the New Year, I promise! _

_I am really proud of the Danny/Rachel scene! Thanks to CathyCath for letting me bounce it off her first, weeks ago! _

_Joys: Due to last chapter and this chapter being a little shorter than intended, my songs are all screwy now. Next chapter will hold true for the songs I listed under Chapter 23. _

_Thank you again, everyone, for your incredible reviews. Please leave a line and let me know what you think! And let me know what you think of my casting, too! :)  
_

_(and yes, we'll find out what happened to the Sarah girl soon!)_


	26. Chapter 24

_*FFnet is killing me with not leaving this chapter posted! AGHHHH I am so sorry for the hassle! I don't know what's going on, but please PM me if this disappears again!*_

_Happy New Years, bbs! It's been quite a year, especially with us being given this wonderful show :)_

_I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this fic for you all! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the incredible reviews, alerts, and favorites! This story is one of my babies, and I am so happy I can share it with each and every one of you! It has been one of the highlights of my year, and I thank you-and the writers, producers, actors, crew, etc of the Last Ship-for that! _

**_Cheers to 2015 and Season 2 of The Last Ship! They say the new season will be epic and I have no doubt it will indeed! :D_**

_PS- Please know I will reply to all the wonderful PMs I have received over the next couple days. I've been trying to get this chapter written and posted by tonight for you! I haven't forgotten about y'all, look for replies soon! Please forgive me for my slow responses. _

_PPS- I still owe a bunch of you reviews (gosh, I'm terrible huh?!). I will make sure to review each and every story before I post another chapter of this story! I owe y'all that!_

_Thank you again for reading and reviewing! I challenge those of you who read and don't review, to leave me at least one word describing how you felt about this chapter :) It would be greatly appreciated and would start my year off with a bang! (And it always gives me more motivation to write!) Thank you all again, you are incredible! I wish each of you a happy, healthy, safe, and prosperous 2015! *CHEERS*_

**Chapter 24 [End of Part I]**

The radio transmission startled Lt. Mason, who was at his post in the Comms room. The radio crackled with the XO's voice. He hadn't anticipated hearing from him for a few more days. It was startling, and also created immediate anxiety in the young lieutenant.

"Nathan James, this is the XO, do you copy?"

Lt. Mason looked to his counterpart, Lt. Griffin, his eyes wide, before answering, "Aye Sir, Lt. Mason here," he responded, waiting for the XO's reply.

"Prepare to receive us, we're incoming," he radioed. Mason had Griffin call up to the Master Chief for preparations. "We have an injured, make sure Doc Rios is on deck," Mason looked to Griffin, who was finishing his call to Jeter. A grim look covered both their faces-hadn't they lost enough men?

"Aye sir, we'll be ready,' as the radio cut out, Mason spoke to Griffin, "Tell them to have a basket ready, we have one injured coming in." Griffin repeated the message as Mason stood. "I'm going to alert the CO."

XXXX

Laughter rang out through his cabin as he sat with the kids, watching a comedy play across the screen of his laptop. A child on each side, Ava on the floor, and his father in the small lounge chair, they were enjoying the movie and some popcorn. Tom's alone time with his children was few and far between, he was taking advantage of Chief Engineer Garnett's offer to watch the bridge while he rested with his family. Their hour of un-interruption came to a halt as quick knocks sounded on his stateroom door. Quietly he slipped out from the middle of the children to answer the door.

Tom opened the door a small amount, not wanting to let the light in and disrupt the movie. He saw Mason on the other side. The look on his face made him step out into the hallway and close the door behind him.

"Sir, I apologize for interrupting your private time, but the XO has radioed in," Tom's face lit up in surprise at Mason's words, and he checked his watch for the date and time, "They're close, sir. The Master Chief is preparing the ladder," he swallowed and Tom felt his own breathe catch in his throat, anticipating Mason had more to say. "They have one injured, sir. Dr. Rios is awaiting their arrival on deck." Tom stood, stoic for a moment, mentally processing the information. Another injured. He immediately feared the worst.

"Did Commander Slattery say who was injured, Lieutenant?" Tom inquired, sliding his hand back over the door handle. Mason shook his head.

"No, sir, he did not," the young sailor stood, waiting for his CO's response.

"I'll get my coat. Let the Master Chief know I'll be up on deck shortly," he disappeared back inside his cabin before Mason could acknowledge the order.

Tom grabbed his BDU jacket off the chair at his desk, and grabbed his winter coat as well. Jed eyed him curiously, but Tom shook his head that he couldn't talk about it now. He didn't dare say anything or give any indication of his worries. It couldn't be her who was injured, he wouldn't allow himself to think that way. They'd been gone a little more than 30 hours. How could anyone be hurt already? He tried to block his thoughts as he quickly made his way topside.

He greeted the doctor and Jeter as he strode quickly across the deck. "Any word on who the injured man is?" Tom immediately asked. Both men shook their heads. He was surprised at the cold snap on deck as the sun set off the horizon. He slid his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

"No, but they're coming up now," all three moved closer as the first person's hands reached the railing. As the blonde head appeared, Tom could feel his jaw go slack in surprise. His eyes widened as she stood her two feet on the solid deck of the Nathan James. His knowledge was confirmed as she looked him square in the face.

"Jenny?" Tom spoke incredulously, as the blonde woman pushed her hair back. Both men to his right looked from their Captain to the woman and back. A subdued smile broke her pretty face.

"Tommy!" she cried out, running toward him and throwing her arms around his neck. He embraced the younger woman, burying his head in her hair, his hand coming up to cup the back of her head.

"Oh my God, Jenny! You're all right! Dad said he hadn't heard from you since the outbreak, he wasn't sure if you had made it out of Chicago," she leaned back from him at his words, as fresh tears poured down her cheeks.

"I've been with Christine and the girls, we were up in Deer Park. Jimmy was meeting me there to head to Dad's, but we never got that far," He looked over her shoulder as Mike's two daughters climbed over the railing, followed by a much younger girl, and then Christine herself. Jenny released herself from Tom as Jimmy climbed on board. Relief washed over Tom's face as his brother looked up to greet him. Tom stepped toward his brother and embraced the younger man tightly.

"I'm so glad you both are okay," Tom felt incredible relief knowing his entire family was back together. He pulled back from his brother and was about to call to one of the other sailors to get his father, when Green asked for the basket to be lowered for the injured person. He stepped away from his brother but heard Jenny running down the injured person's profile to Rios behind him before he could advance toward the rail.

"-Female, mid 30's, GSW to the left shoulder. Appears it exited through her scapula, leaving a possible fracture. Suffering from severe blood loss—" Tom stopped listening, his heart dropping, feeling the air knocked out of him. He pushed past several men as she was easily lifted onto the deck in the basket. The white pallor of her face terrified him. He reached for her hand, found it under the blanket, cold and limp. Her eyes were closed, and he could see all the little veins through the skin of her eyelids. Fear coursed through his own veins, and panic settled in his chest.

"Rachel? Rachel, honey, can you hear me?" The words slipped out of his mouth, as he was unaware of anyone around him—he could only see her, feel her freezing hand in his own. They set the basket down on the deck, as Jenny and Rios moved in to assess her. Tom didn't budge, squeezing her hand from where he knelt down beside her. He ran his hand over her hair affectionately. Jenny pulled down the blankets and Tom could now see all the blood that had soaked through her clothing. His eyes widened as he looked up to Jenny, questioning. He then looked around for Mike, who was the last one off the boat. His eyes met Tom's and Tom could see the remorse he felt. Tom looked back to Rachel, caressing her lifeless hand. He couldn't form words, was in too much shock, the thickness in his throat too great. He'd already lost Darien—how could be lose her too?

Tom watched Jenny take Rachel's heart rate, as Rios pulled back her sweater to check the wound. Tom immediately felt more protective over Rachel, with her skin exposed to so many men who gathered around them. "Can we move her down to medical?" Tom spoke gruffly to the two doctors. Jenny nodded, looking up at Rios.

"Her heart rate is dangerously low—we need oxygen and blood. Do you know her blood type?" She looked up at Rios, but Tom responded. He'd read her personnel file enough to know it by heart.

"O-negative. Same as me," he replied, helping to lift the basket off the deck. They headed for the hanger, and then down to medical. "When did this happen?" He asked Jenny, his voice overcome with emotion. Jenny's response was tight-lipped.

"They got to us last night around 2000 hours, it happened a little before that I believe," Tom pushed open the door and they set the basket on the bed. Jenny and Rios worked to unstrap her while Tom held her hand. He wanted to ask Jenny how, but decided to leave the grueling question for his XO. Dr. Tophet arrived then, gasping as he pushed open the door.

"Rachel!" he looked to Tom for reassurance, but found none. Tom was having a hard time reassuring himself at that moment. "Lt. Green came and got me, told me what's happened. Dr. Rios, how can I assist?" he asked, desperate to be useful in saving his friend.

"We need to know all the sailors who are o-negative and begin creating a blood supply. Start with the Captain," He looked to Tom, who gladly nodded, eager to help in any way he could. "Would you mind to lift her out of the basket and onto the bed?" Tom nodded again, moving beside the frail woman, reaching his arms underneath her back and knees. She folded up in his arms, and he was surprised by how light she was. She moaned quietly, and he held her close to his chest as Jenny and Rios moved the basket out and prepared the bed.

"Shhhh," he murmured tenderly into her hair, "I've got you." He looked down at her pale face as her eyes fluttered open slightly. His eyebrows knitted together in concern and affection as he tried to catch her eyes. She let them close until he laid her gently back down, resting her head on a pillow. Her pained moan cracked his heart. Her eyes opened again, just barely and they landed on him. He gripped her hand once more, pushed her hair from her face. "Hey there," he spoke calmly, trying to help her focus. Her eyes fluttered a little, and a small smile settled on her lips at the sight of him above her. Jenny caught his eyes as the bleeding in her shoulder started up once more, almost as if asking him to distract Rachel as Jenny began cutting off her shirt. Tom focused on Rachel's eyes, the sight of the blood almost more than he could bear. She let out a shuddered breath, and he squeezed her hand.

"Tom," she managed out quietly. He raised his eyebrows in questioning as she spoke in a whisper, "I'm sorry," she finished, wincing at the pain of Jenny putting pressure on her shoulder; she closed her eyes once more. Tom felt his eyes well up at her apology, and clenched his jaw to fight back the emotion.

"Hey, hey," he tried to gain back her attention with his soft voice, and she managed to crack her eyes open one more time. His gaze was intense and firm as he looked down on her, leaning closer to her face, "Do _not_ be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for." Her eyes closed again, and she took a few ragged breaths. Jenny moved around, grabbing an oxygen mask, looking to Rios who was taking her blood pressure. He shook his head slightly, and Jenny then looked to Tom, sliding the mask over Rachel's mouth, whose eyes did not re-open. "Rachel?" he squeezed her hand again, trying to get a reaction from her. Jenny stepped around the bed.

"Tom, we need space, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," she was cautious about her words, not sure what her brother's situation was with this woman but knowing he was clearly close to her.

Tom stood fast and his words were firm, "Work around me, I'm not leaving her."

"Tom, I know you are the captain of this ship, but right now, I'm calling the shots and I need you out," she pushed his chest, speaking to him as only his sister could. She took Rachel's hand from Tom's, and pushed him toward the door. "Out, Tom!"

"Jenny, get out of my way! I'm not leaving her—" he tried to gently fight her in the small space, but when Rios called out to her, urgency in his voice, Tom relented, allowing Jenny to push him out the door of the medical bay. He stood, in shock, staring at the now closed door, before running a hand over his mouth and pacing for a moment.

He couldn't stop hearing her words in his head, "_I'm sorry_", over and over again. Sorry for what? What had happened out there? How come no one else was hurt? The questions kept rolling through his head, driving him mad, as he paced outside the door. When it became clear, after several minutes, that Jenny wasn't going to allow him back in, he was overcome with anger and found himself storming to the wardroom, where he knew they would be debriefing.

He flung open the door, and scanned the room for Mike as the group stood gathered together.

Everyone could tell by the flush of his cheeks and the darkness of his eyes that their CO was furious. The soldiers stood at attention, all except his XO, who was more concerned about Rachel's well-being, and Tex, who stood back from the group, taking in their hushed arguing. He didn't agree with what they had decided to do, but understood why they were choosing to lie.

Tom only went straight for Mike, his voice calm but direct and full of heat, "What the fuck happened out there?"

"How is she, Tom?" Mike diverted the question, and asked about Rachel instead. Tom scoffed.

"She's bleeding out down in medical!" He thrust his arm out in that direction and then looked around at the faces surrounding him. "I need to know what happened, now!" His yell shook each of them, and they all looked to Mike to respond. It wasn't often that their Captain lost his temper; every sailor on board would call him level-headed and fair. But in this moment, they all knew he was seething.

"Tommy, I'm sorry—" Jimmy started, stepping forward, before Mike could stop him.

"Jimmy-" Mike interrupted him to stop him from telling the truth. Tom's eyes widened and he looked back and forth between the two. He waited a beat for one to continue, as patiently as he could muster. "Someone better tell me the truth about what the hell is going on right now," Tom demanded. Mike's resolve finally broke; as much as he wanted to protect Jimmy, he couldn't lie to his CO and best friend.

"We drove past the little girl in the snow. Rachel was out of the car before the Humvee had even stopped. Before we could get ahead of her, she was shot. Jimmy was simply protecting the child and he didn't see us-" Tom looked at Jimmy, who was clearly devastated over the incident, more so with every angry glare from his brother.

"_You_ shot her?" Tom asked his little brother incredulously.

"I didn't mean to! You have to understand what it's been like out there, we're constantly defending ourselves against the sick, and people who are looting; I didn't know she wasn't going to hurt Sarah!" Jimmy attempted to defend himself, and Tom felt sick to his stomach. He ran his hands over his face.

"This is a nightmare," he mumbled under his hands. Danny took a tentative step forward.

"Sir, with all due respect, Dr. Scott was headed for the child before we knew what was going on, and she's well aware of her mistake. This is no one's fault directly," he tried to ease the situation, truly believing his words, and knowing Rachel wouldn't want this arguing.

"Why was this child out in the snow all by herself to begin with?" Tom asked, exasperated. Jimmy's face still showed sadness.

"Her father became infected, and her mother knew there was nothing they could do to save him or herself. They left Sarah with Jenny and I before she got sick, and Sarah ran away trying to find them that night. She didn't get too far, she wasn't dressed properly for the cold. That's when they came across her," Jimmy explained. Tom nodded his understanding, felt sorry for the child, but was still deeply angry with his team. He looked at Tex and then to Mike.

"I trusted you two to protect her with your lives…" his voice drifted off as he stalked out of the wardroom, slamming the door. Over his relationship with her, or lack there of, stood how important she was to the ship, to their mission for survival. They should have at least protected her for that reason. In his mind, there was no in, ands, or buts about that fact.

For him though, it was personal—so much more personal that he had even truly begun to realize until now.

XXXX

Tom knocked on the medical bay door a short while later, after having donated as much of his blood to Quincy as the doctor allowed him too, and then blowing off steam on deck, staring at the ocean for a while, as they tended to Rachel. Even his father had left him alone—no sense in aggravating the angry Captain any more than he already was.

Now, he waited outside for Jenny or Doc Rios to allow him entry. Jenny pulled the door open after a moment, wiping her clean hands on a towel. She looked exhausted, and he suspected she hadn't slept since this had all started.

"How is she?" he asked, his own choked up voice surprising him. Jenny's expression was one of sympathy as she took in his own pale face and tired eyes. She stepped outside, shutting the door behind her.

"She's still unconscious. We were able to get inside, sew up the mess that was the wound, and also confirm she does indeed have a fractured scapula. Everything has been sutured and covered, but she lost a lot of blood. Dr. Tophet is still collecting blood from other donors, but it is touch and go for now. We've started her on antibiotics and fluids, hopefully that will help sooner rather than later," she crossed her arms, and leaned her shoulder against the ship wall as her older brother paced. "Care to enlighten me on your relationship with her? It's obvious you two are close," he glanced up at her and it dawned on him that last she knew, he was married to Darien. He rubbed his forehead.

"Darien died from the outbreak in Baltimore back in October," though it didn't directly answer her question, it did drop some insight into the situation.

"Mike told me that part. Tom, I'm so sorry. How are the kids holding up?" Her voice carried concern and empathy. He adored his little sister for how much she cared about people—it was part of what made her a great doctor.

"They're doing surprisingly well. They've really taken to Rach—Dr. Scott," he stopped pacing in front of her, pulled her to him. "I'm so glad you're here," he embraced his little sister tightly. She wrapped her arms around his thick waist and sighed against his chest.

"Me too," she could tell he wasn't ready to talk about Dr. Scott, and who was she to push him? She pulled back after a few moments and yawned, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. Tom peered down at her.

"You should really go lie down. I'll have someone show you to my stateroom and you can rest. You should probably also say hi to Dad and the kids, they'll be excited to see you. With all the commotion, they don't even know you're here yet."

"Can you sit with her; make sure she continues to stay stable?" Jenny asked, reluctant to leave her patient, but ready for a few moments of rest. Tom nodded immediately.

"Absolutely. I won't leave her side until you return." Jenny suspected he clearly had affection for this woman he wasn't ready to talk about—but she trusted her brother, knew he was loyal to a fault. This woman was lucky to have his eye, whoever she was.

Tom had Jenny escorted up to his cabin and then took a seat in the dimly lit medical bay next to Rachel, picking up her hand. Her color was slightly better than before, but she still looked piqued. He noticed that she had nothing on under the heavy blanket, her shoulders bare. He pulled the blanket up higher around her chin, tucking the blanket gently in around her sleeping form. The oxygen mask still covered her face, and she seemed to breathe much more easily now. He rested his forehead against the back of her hand, and he attempted to warm it up with his larger ones.

He looked up after a few moments, taking in her face, brushing her hair back. They'd come so far together, he couldn't imagine it would all end here. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, so many things he'd been thinking about telling her upon her return. She had consumed his thoughts since she'd left, and he felt he owed _her_ and apology for not saying more when she'd disembarked the day before. He cared for her-more than he thought he would care for anyone but Darien. He'd grown so close to her in the short time they'd known each other.

His heart felt heavy with the fear of losing her. He then worried for the children; they'd already lost their mother, they couldn't possibly lose another female they had grown so close to.

He felt his eyes water again, fought to hold the tears back. "You're going to be just fine," he whispered, stroking a hand over her hair again, before leaning down and placing his lips to her forehead. His lips lingered there, feeling the smoothness of her skin underneath his lips, and he hoped to be able to put his lips to hers again, very soon.

He then prayed that he would be right, that she would be fine.

* * *

_Yes, you read that right-this is the end of Part I. I have several exciting things planned for Part II that I am very excited to embark on. I think you all will be pleased! I will update very soon! :)_

**_Happy New Year! :D_ **


	27. AUTHOR NOTE

Hello all!

I am BEYOND frustrated with this website today due to the fact you all cannot read the chapter I posted last night. I have emailed the support team and I sincerely hope they get this situation resolved ASAP.

Until then, I have taken the time to post the entire story on Archive of Our Own. If you search my penname (MorningGlory2) on there, you'll find the story. Please leave your reviews there in the meantime, until this situation is resolved. I apologize for the frustration and confusion. If this continues to happen, I will figure out another venue for posting this story.

Thank you all for letting me know it wasn't showing up. It seems to reappear and disappear as it sees fit *sigh*. I am so angered by it and have never had such an issue before. I worked very hard on this chapter and wanted to share it with y'all yesterday before the New Year. Again, I hope they get this issue fixed ASAP.

PS-There is a MorningGlory2 on Twitter that someone asked if it was me...that is NOT me. I do not have a Twitter under my penname. I have a tumblr though, .com-come say hi!

XOXO


	28. Chapter 25 Part II

**Chapter 25 Part II Red Flag**

**Thank you all for the incredible reviews! I cannot even begin to describe how much they mean to me! Seriously. Thank you to each and every one of you! Thank you! Thank you!**

**Please check out CathyCath's newest video if you haven't done so already! It truly fits this fic on so many levels I cannot even begin to describe. That first scene, while he's watching her play with the 'toaster'...that is why we ship these two! And that is what makes this fic! GUUUHH Thank you bb for the gorgeous video!**

**JOYS—Your latest review was EPIC and I seriously want to thank you. Without saying too much, you hit some nails right on the head. Wow. Thank you! You should TOTALLY get an account. Please! :)**

**I hope y'all enjoy this chapter, despite it's length. I think some of you expected this to go in a different direction, but we need to remember who Tom is, and what he's dealing with. More of this will come in the next chapter, which will also come soon. **

**Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts :)**

* * *

Rachel felt groggy as she came to, rousing from the deep medicine-induced sleep. Everything felt fuzzy, and the throbbing in her shoulder reminded her of her wound. Her throat felt parched; she was so thirsty. She became aware of the mask covering her face, forcing oxygen into her lungs. She stared up at the fluorescent bulb above her, allowing her eyes to focus.

She began acutely aware she wasn't alone after a moment, when she had a hard time moving her right hand. She leaned her head as best she could to the right, taking in the sight beside her. Tom was asleep, his head and shoulder leaning against the wall beside him, as he sat on the stool beside her bed. Her hand was enclosed in his two much larger ones tightly. She wondered how long she'd been asleep, how long he'd been with her. She felt tears sting her eyes and she wasn't sure if it was because she was so glad to see him, or from the pain in her arm and shoulder. She closed her eyes and took a ragged breath.

He didn't stir as a sob broke her lips. She was so tired, everything hurt so much, from her fingers to her toes, and she couldn't get over the relief of being safe.

She thought back to the 14 hour ride back from Deer Park, and another sob escaped her lips. She'd been so terrified she wouldn't survive, remembered focusing on Danny's face from where she had lay across his lap. She'd pray she'd see Tom one more time, be able to say goodbye unlike when he'd lost Darien. She felt she owed him that.

But now, beside him, his hands holding her's like a vice, she was overcome with relief. She let out another sob, unable to stop the tears, and this time Tom's eyes fluttered and he slowly became aware of his surroundings.

Tom felt her fingers move, and looked down at her immediately. He saw tears streaming down the side of her cheeks, and quickly leaned over, running his hand over her hair, and trying to calm her.

"Shhh, Rachel, you're all right. It's okay," her eyes focused on his, drinking him in, and he removed the mask from her face. He reached for a soft towel to dry her tears. "Hey, hey, it's all right," she let out a few more sobs, her eyes clenching shut as she tried to stop the tears.

"Tom," she managed out, despite her sore, dry throat. "I'm so sorry," she rasped, opening her watery eyes, trying to focus on his face, which was laden with concern.

"Why do you keep saying that? Stop apologizing," a small, empathetic laugh escaped his lips, as he continued to wipe her tears with the towel, keeping a tight grip on her hand with his other one. He continued to shush her until she quieted down, and tears slowed. She took a few shuttering breaths, and he wished he could pull her into his arms, ease her pain.

"It hurts," she forced out, her voice barely above a whisper. He winced.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure it does," he moved to sit on the side of her bed, next to her hip. He was gentle as he settled beside her. "You've been out for a couple days," he spoke, informing her, his voice filled with relief. Her eyes widened in surprise. He looked exhausted she realized too. Had he been by her side all this time? Her heart swelled. "I'm so glad you're okay." Tom's gaze was warm, and he held something in his eyes she couldn't read. He grasped her good hand tightly, his thumb caressing the cold skin.

"How are the children?" She whispered and a soft smile filled his lips.

"They're good. They haven't been down to see you yet, but they'll be so happy to know you're awake," he had spared them the sight of Rachel unconscious, hooked up to several machines, her skin pale like the white sheets she lay upon. Having lost their mother, he couldn't bare them to worry about Rachel too.

She gave him a smile and it put his heart at ease. She was here, she was back, right in front of him, harmed but alive. And smiling. And asking about his children. He adored this woman.

"You weren't too mean to Commander Slattery, were you?" Her eyes held laughter and he couldn't help but drop his head and let out a laugh. He looked back up at her with a crooked smile.

"Let's just say we haven't spoken in two days," his confession was laden with guilt, as he did feel bad for the way he'd yelled at the team. But he couldn't help himself, he had been so upset. "My brother feels terrible, he'll also be happy to know you're awake," he added. Rachel's brow furrowed.

"Your brother?" she replied, confused. She didn't remember meeting his brother, when had that happened? So much about the past few days were hazy and a blur. When had his brother come aboard?

Realization dawned on Tom, she had no idea about Jenny and James. As if on cue, the outer door to the medical bay opened, and he stood quickly, laying her hand down on the bed, taking a step back. Jenny came through the second door, her eyes widening in surprise.

Rachel felt the loss of his hand on hers, and her heart dropped as she watched him step away.

He avoided her eyes.

"You're awake, Dr. Scott!" the blonde woman exclaimed, stepping up past Tom. Rachel was confused. She'd wasn't sure she'd met this woman before. She looked to Tom, who's expression had changed. He looked serious, stoic. She realized then what was happening. She looked back to the pretty younger woman who was checking her blood pressure. She blinked back a few tears. "Dr. Scott, I'm Dr. Jenny Chandler, I've been handling your care," she explained, looking up from Rachel's arm to her face with a grin.

Rachel swallowed the tears as best she could. She cursed herself for being emotional, and wished for Tom to leave. Dr. Chandler? She was so confused. She vaguely remembered the woman's face, but didn't remember her name.

"Aw, you look like you're in pain. Here, let me get you some meds before I explain the extent of your injuries. Tom, can you hand me that cup of water?" Jenny looked up to her brother, referring to the cup on the shelf behind him. She couldn't read his expression, he looked calmer than she'd seem him in the last two days. But he also looked more the Captain she remembered in her brother, that rough exterior. She let Rachel have a sip of water, before administering some pain medication.

Tom listening quietly as his sister explained to Rachel all that had happened and her injuries. Rachel listened intently, asking questions and trying to take it all in. He wanted to hold her, comfort her, but his rank and uniform kept him from doing so. He thought about the mistakes he'd made since she'd been back aboard the Nathan James; his temper, his slip ups of affection. He was going to get caught if he didn't stop himself. At least in public. In private, when it was just the two of them, they'd be all right. He clasped his hands in front of himself to stop from reaching for her.

Jenny was making notes in Rachel's chart, when Tom decided to excuse himself. He realized Jenny wouldn't be leaving any time soon. He cleared his throat. "Jenny, I've got to get back to the bridge. Please keep me appraised of her condition. Dr. Scott, I'll be by a little later to see how you're doing." He was curt as he nodded his head to the two women and excused himself.

Rachel didn't bother responding, she looked away as he left. She didn't know why she felt so hurt.

Then again, this was exactly why she'd decided on the way to Deer Park that she couldn't play this game with him. Despite the raging pain in her shoulder, the pain she felt in her heart tore deeper. She blinked back more tears and took a deep breathe. She was determined not to let this bother her.

Who was she kidding?


	29. Chapter 26

_I'm pretty happy with this chapter, I hope y'all are too. I already have half of the next chapter written! Look for it as soon as I finish it! :D I think you'll REALLY enjoy that one!_

_CathyCath was incredible and made ANOTHER video that inspired this chapter and the next chapter. It's a teaser, if you will. Go watch it, it's GORGEOUS._

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Chapter 26

Light knocks sounded on the door to the small medical bay. Rachel was settled comfortably against pillows, the pain still rough, her head still aching from the blood loss and the medicine induced sleep. She cleared her throat and softly called for her visitor to enter.

Ashley peeked her head around the second door, and a large smile broke her face. "You're awake!" she whispered with excitement, coming through the doorway. She waved behind her and Sam, Ava, and Sarah all came in, each with a big smile upon their face. Rachel's heart swelled at the sight of the children, and she was grateful for the distraction.

"Children!" Rachel placed her hand over her heart as they all inched closer to her, timid and unsure. Ashley got to her right side first and Rachel placed a hand on the young girl's cheek. "How have you been doing?" she asked, her voice still a little hoarse. Ashley smiled.

"Good. We missed you while you were gone," she spoke sweetly, a small blush upon her pretty cheeks. Rachel grinned back.

"I was not gone long at all," she teased, but inside she felt overwhelmed at the children's attachment to her. She adored them so much, and for them to say they missed her…she could feel her eyes water again. "I missed you all as well," she added, looking at the small faces before her. Sam and Ashley looked so much like their father. Ava was growing up beautifully, despite her parents still working on their relationship after all that had happened. And then there was Sarah. She looked about Sam's age, with a sweet face and sad eyes. She was petite, with two braids. Rachel recognized her as the child she was helping when she was shot. Before she could say anything, the child spoke.

"I'm sorry you got hurt," she spoke honestly. Rachel watched her eyes fill up with tears. She waved Sarah closer, and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Shhh, there's no need for tears. I'm healing just fine. And it was not your fault," Rachel insisted, brushing the little girl's tears away with her thumb. Ashley stepped up and wrapped her arm around Sarah's shoulder, and Rachel gave her a thankful smile. "Look at this," she began, surveying the room, "There is four of you now. I can't believe it," only months ago there had been no children aboard, and now it seemed they were becoming a town upon water. Sam spoke up.

"Soon they'll be five!" he climbed up on the bed, sitting beside Rachel's legs. Remembrance dawned on Rachel.

"That's right! The baby!"

"Yeah! She said the baby will be here in five months! Where will it sleep?" Sam seemed perplexed by the set-up of the ship, looking around the small room. Ashley rolled her eyes.

"With its mom, Sam, just like we did," her tone was condescending, and Rachel gave her a gentle warning look. Ashley dropped her annoyed expression.

"The baby will probably have a bed of its own, in Kara's stateroom," Rachel confirmed. The children contemplated her answer.

"I hope it's a boy," Sam said thoughtfully, holding Rachel's hand. She smiled at the young boy, realizing he had no friends on board as Ashley did. She squeezed his hand.

"You never know. We'll be able to tell soon, if Kara wants to know what it is," the kids' eyes widened.

"How?" Ashley asked, surprised. Rachel laughed lightly.

"See that machine right there?" she pointed the monitor and machine across the room from her. "That's an ultrasound machine. It can see inside the mother's belly and see what the baby looks like, measure how big the baby is, and see whether it's a boy or girl," she explained, as the children inspected the machine from where they stood.

"What do you do?" Ava asked curiously, stepping closer and looking at the wand.

"Well, you use special gel, and put that wand on her belly, and the image shows up on that screen." As she talked, and the children hung on her every word, she realized how much she did, in fact, love this motherly role she had taken on.

Sam looked back at her from where he sat beside her on his knees. "Can we try it out?"

Rachel laughed, "We can ask Kara if she wouldn't mind to let you all see the baby the next time we do it."

"What about on you?" Ava asked, stepping closer to Rachel. She laughed again, this time her cheeks turning pink.

"It's not very interesting when there's nothing to see," she chuckled, her gaze falling to her midsection momentarily. She sincerely hoped there wasn't anything to see. She wouldn't know for another week or so. She said a quick prayer that she had nothing to worry about.

Tom had stepped in through the door way to the first portion of the medical bay, listening intently to the children peppering Rachel with questions. He leaned against the wall, letting them have their time with her for a moment. They'd been so excited to know she was awake and ready for company, they had run off to see her without waiting for him to finish his dinner. He briefly wondered if Jenny had brought Rachel any dinner. He made a mental note to ask just as Sam's voice caught his attention.

"You should have a baby with Dad," he began, "A boy so I can have someone to play with." Rachel was taken off guard at the comment, it surprised her and her mouth gaped open for a few moments.

Tom sucked in a breath and listened for Rachel's response. He didn't know whether to step into the room and make his presence known, or let her answer herself. Part of him wanted to know what she'd say. The other part of him wondered briefly if she could be pregnant from their recent activities. That was not something he was ready to explain to anyone.

She laughed a little, though she knew her cheeks were on fire. "You have a 50-50 chance that Kara's baby will be a boy," she tried to recover, taking the attention away from her and Tom.

"I think you'd make a cool mom," Sam spoke quietly, suddenly very interested in looking down at his hand in Rachel's. Ashley leaned her head on Rachel's shoulder.

"Yeah, you would," she agreed, as her father rounded the corner.

Tom had to see the scene in the next room, and he wasn't disappointed. Ava leaned on the foot of the bed, Sarah sat in the chair next to the bed, Sam on the bed cross-legged next to Rachel, holding her hand, and Ashley with her head on Rachel's shoulder, her arms wrapped around Rachel's arm. His kids were clearly attached, literally and figuratively, he laughed to himself.

Rachel had always found it a little funny that everyone jumped to attention when Tom entered a room, except the kids. They never stopped what they were doing to acknowledge his presence and now was no different. She caught his eyes and he gave her a soft smile, lifting her heart.

He walked up behind Sam, reaching under the boys arms and tickling him. Sam screamed in delight, laughing. "What are you guys doing in here? Are you bothering Dr. Scott?"

"Why do you call her that Dad?" Sam asked, in between laughter, "We know her name is Rachel."

"Because that's the polite thing to do from adult to adult," he teased, lifting the little boy off the bed and holding him half upside down. Ashley made a face.

"You should call her Rachel, Dad. You always called mom by her name," Rachel didn't take her eyes off Tom's as Ashley spoke, her heart dying for some sort of reaction from him. His face never changed, his tone never faltered.

"I was married to your mother, and she wasn't a doctor," he explained the difference, keeping his eyes locked on Rachel's.

"My dad is a doctor, and my mother calls him Quincy," Ava argued, and Rachel pursed her lips to keep from laughing. Tom was clearly outnumbered. And she had to admit, she was enjoying the children ganging up on him.

Tom looked to her for help, and saw the laughter in her eyes. "Your mother is married to your father," he responded to Ava, placing Sam back on his feet.

Ashley put a hand on her hip, "Danny calls Kara by _her_ name," she retorted. This time Rachel dropped her head and a giggle escaped. He wasn't going to win this battle. "_And_ you call Mike by _his_ name," she finished.

"Captain," Rachel interrupted, finding the only way to save him was to prove his point to the children. They all looked at her quizzically as she spoke, and a small, knowing smile appeared on Tom's lips. "Would you mind to hand me that pillow there?" She pointed behind him, to a shelf, and he nodded.

"Absolutely, doctor," he replied, reaching for the pillow. Ashley rolled her eyes again and Sam looked confused. He moved around the kids and helped raise her up a little more, making her more comfortable.

"Thank you, Captain," she said again, catching his eyes once more. Ashley sighed and Rachel laughed. "Ashley, would you mind to grab me a cup of tea from the ward room?" Ashley nodded eagerly at the task. "I would greatly appreciate it, sweetie. Thank you." she smiled sweetly at the young girl, who headed off, taking all the kids with her, leaving Rachel and Tom alone again. He watched them leave and then settled next to her on the stool Sarah had been sitting on.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, suddenly very interested in is wedding ring, which Rachel noticed he still wore. She tore her eyes away, and looked down at her feet.

"Sore, tired. In need of caffeine," she chuckled a little, hoping it would help her headache. "Your sister filled me in on everything that happened. Please tell James not to worry about this, I'll be just fine," she added. "Your sister is beautiful."

Tom laughed, "Yeah, she looks a lot like my mother." He looked up at her, and she saw that softness again. His eyes were incredibly expressive. "Jimmy keeps apologizing. Would you mind if he came by?"

"Not at all, I'd love to meet your brother," she spoke quickly, and meant it. She loved all of Tom's family she'd met so far, she could only imagine she'd love James just the same. "Have you spoken to Mike?"

"Not about what happened."

"Tom, it wasn't his fault."

"Ultimately, it was," he argued, and she could see that fire flash in his eyes again. She shook her head. "What?"

"You're so stubborn," she sighed, leaning her head back against the pillows.

"You could have died," he responded, defending his anger with his friend. She set her jaw.

"But I didn't. How long are you going to punish him with the silent treatment? If anyone should be mad, it's me, and I'm not mad at anyone but myself," _and you,_ Rachel added in her mind. She still couldn't get over his display, or lack there of, on deck.

He gave her a dubious expression. "What made you get out of that vehicle without them anyway?" he questioned.

"I saw the young girl, she appeared hurt," she replied. She knew he knew that.

"No, what made you get without waiting for my men to set a perimeter for your safety. You know our protocols," he was frustrated by her stubbornness and her inability to listen sometimes.

"I was distracted, and then I saw her, and I didn't stop long enough to think," she spoke softly, looking at her hand where it was tucked in his. His brow furrowed.

"Distracted by what?" he dared to ask, worried about what she was about to say. He knew Tex had been in the car with her.

Rachel took a deep breath. She was too tired to fight, but too confused to let it go. "Your goodbye left a lot to be desired," she spoke honestly, slowly looking up. She watched his eyes narrow, confusion clouding his expression.

"What does that mean?" he replied quickly, tilting his head and surveying her face.

"'Be safe?'" she quoted, incredulously. "Just a few days earlier, you were sleeping beside me in my bed, and then you get mad at me for doing my job, and then you send me off with no more than a cordial reminder to take care of myself. I don't appreciate your games," her tone was sharp, and her hurt was evident.

"What was I supposed to say or do? Hug you in front of my crew? Kiss you? If you remember, I punished Foster and Green for this exact behavior. What kind of example would I be setting?"

"Give a girl a little something to hold on to, Tom. I would think someone like you would understand that," she shot back. She dropped her angry eyes and took a deep breathe. "I don't think this is a good idea," she began slowly.

"What's not a good idea?" he echoed, his head snapping up a bit.

"This. Us. I don't want the children to get hurt, or for us to make a poor decision," she spoke hesitantly. He had a duty to his crew, to his family. This could only get messy, she thought to herself.

"What do you mean 'poor decision'?" He questioned, his tone cold. He wasn't playing games with her, not intentionally. This was all very complicated.

"You're right, your crew relies heavily on you from every aspect. You cannot be distracted." she replied vaguely.

"You're not a distraction, Rachel," he tried to interrupt, but she kept talking.

"Tom, I don't want to hurt you, and that is just what I did by getting shot. And it is a distraction. I will not be a distraction, and I cannot bare to hurt you any more than you have been, after everything you've lost." It was easier to place the blame on the bigger picture, than on either of them. "I can't hide how I feel about you, and for me, that's a distraction." she finished, daring to look up at him. He seemed to process her words, and she could see that he was hurt. It broke her heart, but she knew it was best. Or she hoped it was.

"Fine," he relented. "If distance is what you think is best, then distance is what you'll get."

He dropped her hand, and she felt her heart drop. He stood up, and for the first time since he'd entered the room, she couldn't read his expression. Ashley appeared just then, a steaming cup of tea in her small hands. She was oblivious to the tension, and happily handed Rachel the cup of tea, that she needed now more than ever. Rachel felt sick as Tom clasped his hands behind his back and stepped away from the bed.

"Good evening, Dr. Scott," he said goodbye with a nod of his head, "Come Ashley, leave Dr. Scott be," he added, stepping outside.

"Thank you for my tea, darling," Rachel offered up a watery smile and Ashley grinned back.

"I'll see you later," she said as Tom called for her again. Rachel nodded.

"Goodnight," she replied as Tom shut the door to medical. Rachel stared down at her tea as a shuddering breath left her. She knew that this was for the best, hoped it was. But it hurt a lot more than she'd thought it would.

XXXXX

Tom sat with his head leaning on his clasped hands in his quarters a few hours later. He'd put the children to bed, had hoped for sleep, but none came. Instead, he sat at his desk in his night clothes, staring at a picture of Darien and himself, rolling is wedding band around on his finger, and hearing Rachel's words over and over again in his mind.

'Fine', he had said. He hadn't fought her, fought _for_ her yet again. It hurt his heart, but the hesitation was hard to get over. He stared at his beautiful late wife for a moment, and then closed his eyes. He put the frame face down on the counter and rub a hand over his face. He hadn't been able to fight for Darien either.

He said he'd give her distance, and if that was what she wanted, that's what he would do.

A knock sounded on his door, and he checked his watch. It was late. He stood, rubbing his hand over his face once more before pulling open his door. Danny stood at attention outside the door. "Sir." he greeted professionally. Tom nodded.

"Green. Come in," he opened the door wider and Danny stepped in, shutting the door behind him. Tom leaned on his desk. "What brings you by this time of evening?" Tom inquired, curious. Danny clasped his hands behind his back.

"Sir, I'd like to talk to you about Lt. Foster," he began, and Tom thought his voice sounded shaky. He nodded.

"Everything all right, Danny?" he asked, concerned for the young woman's wellbeing. Danny nodded.

"Yes, sir. But I would like to ask your permission," Danny paused and took a breath. Tom waited patiently for the rest of his statement. "I'd like to ask for your permission to ask Lt. Foster to marry me on board the ship, sir," he finished. Tom dropped his eyes to the floor for a moment. He looked up with a proud smile.

"About time you made an honest woman of that girl," he chuckled, standing. Danny seemed to visibly relax and a grin grew across his face. "Permission granted, sailor. Congratulations," he reached out and shook the younger man's hand.

"Thank you, Captain." Danny's voice was true to his relief. "I plan to ask her this evening," he explained. Tom smiled and nodded.

"Do you have a ring?" Tom asked, curious if he had secured one for such a moment. Danny pursed his lips and shrugged a little.

"I have my ring from the academy. I wasn't able to find much other than a dress for her during our travels," Danny explained, a small hint of embarrassment in his cheeks. Tom nodded thoughtfully before moving to the small drawer in his headboard by his bed. Danny furrowed his brow, watching his captain produce a small box. He placed it on his desk and opened it. Danny wasn't sure what Tom was doing, and waited patiently.

"I proposed to my wife right after I graduated from the academy. I didn't have much money at the time, and tried to replace this ring several times over the years, but she always said she found it charming and that the history behind it, our history, made it special. That the size didn't matter to her," he held up the white gold ring, with a small solitary princess cut diamond. "I'd like you to have it, to give to Kara. It gave me a lot of wonderful years with my wife, and I know it'll do the same for you." He handed the ring to Danny for his inspection. The Navy Seal was speechless. "I have her wedding band as well," he pulled it out of the box too, a band with a speckling of diamonds along the top. He handed that to Danny as well.

"Sir, are you sure?" Danny looked up at Tom, his eyes wide. Tom gave him an emotional smile and nodded.

"Absolutely." He answered, without question.

"I'm honored, sir. Thank you," Danny replied, his thanks heartfelt. Tom again shook Danny's hand.

"Did you say you found her a dress?" Tom eyed Danny, seeing if he'd heard him right. Danny laughed and nodded.

"Dr. Scott suggested we ask Commander Slattery if his wife had her wedding dress with her in Deer Park. Surprisingly she did, sir. She was kind enough to let me offer it to Kara, so she doesn't have to wear her dress whites," at the sound of Rachel's name, Tom felt his heart snap.

"Dr. Scott suggested that, did she?" he asked, surprised. Danny's face grew somber and her looked down.

"Yes, she did. She wasn't doing very well at the time. I only asked because she insisted, and how could I say no to her in her condition?"

"Well, it definitely seems like it was a good call," Tom grinned again at the officer.

"It definitely was," Danny nodded in agreement. "Thank you again, sir," Danny spoke, once more. Tom nodded.

"It's my pleasure, Danny. Enjoy every moment," he slapped the sailor on the back, and moved to his door.

"Good night, sir," Danny replied, stepping out into the p-way. Tom said his good night and as Danny went off in search of Kara, Tom shut his door, and leaned against it for a moment.

He looked down at his own wedding ring, and wondered briefly for a moment what exactly he was wearing it for, especially right now. It suddenly didn't seem to carry as much as it had hours ago, and now that he'd given Darien's rings to Danny, it felt like a broken chain to his wife. He let go of the door handle and slid the ring off his finger. He peered at it for a moment, and then decided he'd give it to Kara when he saw her next. He suspected the wedding would happen fairly quickly, thought that maybe they should move to warmer seas for the occasion. He'd talk to Mike about it tomorrow.

He put the ring on his desk, next to his dress whites cap and rang his fingers over the bare spot on his finger. He pulled out his academy ring from that small box, put it in its place. It felt less uncomfortable that way.

His thoughts wandered back to Rachel unexpectedly and he sighed as he turned out the lights and climbed into bed alone. He was frustrated by the situation, by his own behaviors, and by the circumstances surrounding them. He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed heavily. He cared about her, more than he could outwardly admit, to her or anyone. It was a scary feeling, a helpless feeling. Instead of just spitting it out, he'd walked away. He never walked away from anything, but this woman made him crazy, made him unsure of everything. He knew Darien inside and out. They'd been through everything together. He didn't know Rachel like that, and it scared him. He worried about whether it would work out. She was right in the possibility of the children getting hurt. If she hadn't survived being shot, they would have been devastated. He couldn't bear them having to lose one more person. But what if they never experienced motherly love again because of his fears—he couldn't bear that either. They needed a mother, someone to love them as he did.

He sighed and looked at the ceiling for answers. He closed his eyes and prayed that answers would come to him. Tomorrow was another day. Maybe he could make this right.

* * *

_Thank you to each of you and your incredible reviews! Please, leave a line and let me know how you enjoyed this chapter. I'm thinking of posting a one-shot companion of Danny proposal, anyone want to read it? I'll totally write it if y'all are interested._

_**I apologize for any typos!**_


	30. Chapter 27

_This chapter was a labor of love, and I needed it to get us to where we're going in Chapter 28, hence it's length and content. I truly enjoyed writing this though, and must say I'm pretty proud of it. I hope you all enjoy it! _

_Huge thanks go out to JOYS of October (formerly JOYS) for proofreading my work. It has definitely helped, in so many ways, and I hope you all, as the readers, see the difference too. Sometimes it's hard to go back and look over your own work with a fine-tooth comb as someone separate from it can. She's been immensely helpful in this department. Thank you JOYS! :)_

_And to CathyCath for her incredible videos! "Distance" and "Say You Love Me" got me through writing this monster of a chapter. And for letting me bounce the chapter lineup and last scene off you weeks ago (sorry it took so long for us to get here lol!)_

_And to all of you in this tight-knit fandom! We may be small, but we are mighty! June can't come soon enough! I am thoroughly enjoying this hiatus, and appreciate all of you who read and review! (And even those who don't review ;) ) I hope you continue reading and continuing shipping Tom/Rachel. Here's to hoping the writers have something in mind for us shippers ;)_

_Enjoy! _

* * *

Chapter 27

Danny gently knocked on Kara's door, checking his watch. He knew it was late, but he had to do this now. The excitement of Deer Park had settled, but he still felt anxious. He worried that if he didn't take this step now, he wouldn't get the chance to do so with Kara. It seemed that anything could happen in a moment. He didn't want something to happen and for her to not be able to experience this moment. He knocked again.

Alisha answered, flipping on the light, her eyes full of sleep. "Danny?" She began, upon seeing him in the doorway, "is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just need to speak with Kara," He offered a kind smile to ease her immediate worry. She smiled in return and opened the door a little. Kara had begun to rustle on the top bunk. Alisha poked her.

"Kara, wake up. Your baby daddy is here," she teased. Kara groaned and sat up slightly, shielding her eyes from the light.

"Danny, what time is it? Is everything okay?" She asked immediately, opening her eyes wider. He stepped over the threshold and chuckled, rolling his eyes.

"You women worry too much. Yes, everything is fine. I wanted to talk to you though. Throw on a sweatshirt and meet me outside on the wing?" he asked sweetly, giving her that smile he knew made her weak in the knees. She grinned. He knew she couldn't say no.

"Okay," she replied, moving toward the edge of the bunk. He caught sight of the slight protrusion in her midsection and felt his heart swell. He couldn't wait to put the ring on her finger.

He stepped back into the hallway, heading for the wing, thinking over what he planned to say.

Kara found him pacing slowly outside, the breeze slightly chilly. She settled her hands inside the large front pocket of her hoodie, around the mound that was their baby. Everytime she touched her belly, she felt an overwhelming sense of love and joy over what they had unintentionally created. She loved this man more than anything, and having his baby was an incredible feeling.

"Lieutenant," she greeted him cheerfully. He stopped pacing, and looked up with a bright smile. She eyed him curiously.

"Hey there," he greeted in return, stepping to her, and placing his hands on her cheeks, lowering his face to hers in a gentle kiss. She returned it happily, feeling the warmth he radiated.

"What's going on?" She asked when he pulled away, wondering why he was waking her up after 2200 hours for an evening chat. One of his hands dropped from her face to her belly, and he palmed the hard mound through her hoodie.

"I needed to see you, and the little one," he practically whispered, his face close to hers. She giggled.

"I saw you right before I went to bed," she replied, searching his eyes. "You missed us already?"

"Some moments I just can't bear not being with you," he nuzzled her nose with his, and she breathed a sigh. "Do you know that we managed to conceive a child and have actually never slept in the same bed?" She laughed at the realization.

"Well, we weren't really supposed to conceive a baby aboard the ship," she reasoned, laughing. "Not to mention, we would have never been caught had the deployment gone as planned," she added. He chuckled.

"True, but who knows what might have happened," he responded, mindlessly rubbing his hands over what was his growing baby inside her. "Kara, I love you," he started, and then paused. She placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"I love you ,too," she replied, again searching his eyes. He look a breath and retracted his hands, pulling hers from the hoodie pocket and holding each of hers in his. He looked down at their joined hands, and Kara suddenly felt unsure. "Danny?" she tried to call him from his reverie. He looked up then, catching her eyes.

"Kara, I know this wasn't planned, but I can promise you that I will be the best father to our child. And I will be the best husband to you that I possibly can be. I love you, and our baby, so very much," Kara's eyes widened at the word 'husband', and they grew larger as Danny dropped to one knee before her, "I want to be by your side for the rest of my life. Kara," he paused and pulled out the ring Captain Chandler had given him just a mere half hour ago. He held up the ring, the diamond shining in the moonlight, "will you marry me?" He had expected to stumble over the words, but as he looked up at her from where he knelt, he said them perfectly. For a long moment, she didn't respond, she simply stared at the ring. A solitary tear fell down her cheek.

"Danny, yes. Yes ,I will marry you!" A smile broke across her pretty face and another tear escaped. He smiled in relief and joy, grasping her left hand and placing the small white gold ring upon it. He then stood, and embraced her, holding her close against him. When she pulled back, she immediately looked at the ring, holding it up so the light could bounce off the shimmery diamond. "It's beautiful! Where did you get it?"

"The Captain gave it to me, it was his late wife's. I have the wedding ring to match as well," he explained. Another tear escaped her eyes.

"The Captain gave you this?" she felt incredibly honored that Captain Chandler would share something so sacred with her and Danny.

Danny nodded, "Yeah," he confirmed, watching her inspect the princess cut. She looked up at him after a few moments.

"It's perfect," she glowed, placing her hand on his cheek and pulling him in for a kiss.

"We'll have the wedding aboard the ship, already gotten the Captain's permission," Danny explained after they pulled apart. Kara's eyes widened. "And I have a dress for you. Commander Slattery's wife's dress," as a smile broke across her pretty face, Danny silently thanked Dr. Scott for her idea. "She'll show it to you tomorrow," he added, wrapping his arms around her.

"You really thought of everything, didn't you?" she snuggled against his chest, breathing in his masculine scent mixed with the salty ocean air. She felt incredibly lucky.

"I tried. You deserve the best," he kissed the top of her head, and they stood like that for a while, just enjoying their moment of peace together.

XXXXX

Tom found Mike in the ward room the next morning, pouring two cups of steaming coffee. The XO didn't necessarily acknowledge Tom as he entered, merely nodding in his direction. Tom grabbed an apple and leaned against the table, facing Mike.

"Good morning, Mike," he greeted, biting into the fruit. He chewed as Mike turned, stirring some sugar into one of the cups. Tom assumed that it was Christine's. "How are the girls settling in?" Tom asked, referring to all the women in the Slattery clan. Mike nodded his head back and forth.

"They're getting used to things. Thank you for letting Tiffany and Hannah have one of the unoccupied officer staterooms. It helps that they're so close to their mother and I," Mike spoke quietly and professionally. Tom nodded.

"Absolutely. How are you and Christine doing?" Tom asked, his tone more casual, as he spoke to his friend instead of his XO. Mike shrugged thoughtfully.

"We're...working things through," he offered a tight smile. Tom gave his friend an understanding look.

"I'm glad you were able to get them back," he replied, his voice conveying his true caring nature.

"Thank you," Mike responded, placing one cup down, and picking up the other, taking a sip. "How are Jenny and James settling in?"

"Jenny is doing great. You know her, she loves an adventure," Tom chuckled and Mike nodded with a slight eye roll. With the two men having known each other since the academy, Mike knew Jenny very well. She was almost five years younger than Tom, but she had often been a tag along on hunting or fishing trips with her brother and his friends. He had thought she would join a branch of the armed forces, but she had found her challenge in the OR while studying pre-med in college. She had gone on to become a well-renowned surgeon. "Jimmy is getting his sea legs. He still feels really bad about what happened to Rachel. She's already forgiven him, despite her injuries," Tom shook his head, "I just can't believe he shot her," he sighed. Mike sipped his coffee.

"He was scared. It's a scary world out there, Tom. You were in Baltimore, you saw the devastation. You do what you have to do to protect your loved ones. He was protecting that little girl," Mike reasoned with a shrug, sliding his unoccupied hand in his pocket and leaning against the counter.

"You're right." Tom figured this segue was as good as he would get, "Listen, I need to apologize for the way I acted when you got back. I said some things that were out of line, and I'm sorry," He made sure, with his eye contact, that Mike knew how sorry he was. Mike pursed his lips and shrugged.

"Like I said, you do what you have to do to protect the ones you love. You were just looking out for her," Mike carefully chose his words, but knew they would hit home. "A word of caution to a friend?" he asked, and Tom nodded, "If you're trying to keep your feelings about her a secret, I suggest you try a little harder. Emotions can run high in a moment like that, but everyone in this room knew why you were so upset," Tom could always rely on his friend to be straight with him. He dropped his head, thought about Mike's words.

"She and I have talked about it. I'll be more careful. I appreciate your honesty," He looked up and caught Mike's eyes. There was laughter behind them.

"No one said you _had_ to keep it a secret. I'm just saying, if you're trying to, try harder." He turned and picked up Christine's coffee. "I've got to get this to Christine, I'll see you on the bridge shortly," he began toward the door, and then turned to Tom, who still leaned against the table. "And Tom," Chandler turned, looking at his XO, "Apology accepted." He nodded lightly to his Captain with a smile, before turning and leaving. Tom chuckled a little and rubbed his hand over his face. He was very fortunate to serve alongside a great friend.

XXXX

A week went by and Rachel had managed to avoid Tom after all. Jenny had released her from medical, and despite Jenny's urging that she not return to the lab just yet, Rachel found herself down there often, on her computer, testing and retesting the blood samples Quincy had taken from Jenny, James, The Slatterys, and the young girl. She had been concerned they may have been exposed to a different strain of the virus, that they had carried it to the ship with them. However, she was relieved to find that none of them were carriers. She'd been thorough in her research to be sure.

She'd spent a lot of time going over her conversation with Tom, as well, and she found herself frustrated by her inability to speak frankly with him. She wanted to be with him, missed the children. It was difficult to not be with him, knowing he was not that far from her. He'd never come by to check up on her again. Although the kids had come by and they filled the void a bit. They were small extensions of him afterall. She found what joy she could. This was her fault . There is distance between them now. But she couldn't hide her feelings for him in front of everyone. She cared too much. It was obvious.

His brother had come by the medical bay days earlier, to see her. She'd been happy to meet him, and had eagerly accepted his apology. He was handsome, just like his older brother, polite and sweet. He was young, about ten years younger than Tom, and Rachel wondered about the large age difference. He was a seasoned Army Ranger, like his father. She had thoroughly enjoyed her conversation with him. Jimmy was easy to talk to, something Tom wasn't always. He reminded her of Jed. She wondered if Tom was more like his mother.

Rachel settled back in her chair, and groaned softly at the pain in her upper body. Her scapula was healing, as were the wounds that were stitched, but that didn't necessarily relieve the pain she had. If anything, the wounds ached more at night and kept her up. What she wouldn't give for a hot bath and a glass of wine at that moment.

The door to the lab opened, and a young sailor entered. "Ma'am," he greeted. Rachel turned to face him. "CO requested you meet him at his cabin," he stood at attention and delivered the message. Rachel's heart skipped and she could feel her face turning pink. She nodded.

"Absolutely, I'll be there momentarily," she replied immediately. She was sure the junior officer could hear the change in her tone of voice and she was embarrassed by her secret desire to be summoned to his stateroom. Her mind wandered as she shut down her computer. She wondered what he might need from her, thought maybe he wanted to talk. She quickly made her way up to his at-sea cabin, taking a deep breath and knocking on the solid door.

Tom answered quickly, pulling the door open and looking a bit frazzled. Rachel's brow crinkled, and then she heard the faint weeping of a child. She eyed him, concerned. He sighed. "Ashley has the flu, it seems," he began, as she took in his tired eyes, "She's been asking for you," the last part came out strained, almost apologetic. She immediately stepped over the threshold. "I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do," he spoke quietly as she passed him. She gave him a kind smile.

"No apology needed," she stepped past him and made her way to the sick child, who was clutching her stomach and crying. Rachel sat on the side of the bed, feeling the heat in her forehead and cheeks. "Darling, it's alright," she began, rubbing the child's shoulder through the heavy blanket. Ashley let out a sob.

"Am I dying?" she asked through her tears. Rachel's eyebrows lifted in surprise and she shook her head with a small laugh.

"No, of course not, sweetheart," she comforted. "Tell me what you feel like," she asked her, as Tom stood back, arms crossed, watching the moment.

Despite not having any children of her own, she was definitely very good with them, he thought to himself, and not for the first time. He'd seen her with his kids. She was a natural. It hurt his heart a little that Ashley had desperately wanted Rachel, and not him. But now, as he watched Rachel care for his daughter so tenderly, despite their differences, he was glad he'd listened to Ashley.

After a few moments, Ashley had quieted down, and Rachel was stroking her forehead with a wet cloth. Tom tentatively stepped forward, gently reaching out and touching Rachel's unhurt shoulder. She flinched under his touch, and it wounded him deep inside.

Rachel felt him touch her shoulder, and she unconsciously flinched, surprised by his fingers on her. She peered at him, tried to regain her composure, hoping he hadn't noticed. His eyes were soft as he retracted his hand quickly.

"I'm going to go across the hall for a few minutes. You'll be okay here?"

She nodded, "Yes, of course. Take your time," she spoke quietly as Ashley rested with her eyes closed, breathing much easier now. She gave him a tight smile, as he turned to leave. He shut the door quietly, and stepped across the small hallway to his father's cabin, opening the door and stepping inside. Jed was reading, as he often did, while Sam napped on his bed. He looked up as his son entered, pulling his reading glasses off. Tom sighed, settling down on the small sofa and Jed raised an eyebrow.

"That's a loaded sigh," his father eyed him, sizing him up. "How's Ashley?"

"Better now that Rachel's there," Tom ran his hands over his face, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Why are you in here then?" Jed asked curiously, watching his son sigh heavily again. He leaned back on the sofa, staring at his father.

"Because she doesn't need my help," his tone was one of displeasure, as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Jed just laughed at his son. He had so much to learn in this new territory. After a bit he spoke, "So, how is she?"

"I just told you," Tom replied, exasperated. Jed rolled his eyes.

"Not your daughter, Dr. Scott," he replied, that laughter still in his voice. Tom rolled his eyes.

"I don't know. We don't talk much these days. She looks fine," he couldn't deny that, despite the sling, she looked beautiful.

"What happened between you two? When she left for Deer Park, you two seemed to be working toward something. What changed?" Jed put his book down, ready for this conversation. He was playing both sides of the fence a little, he'd noticed their tension. But he needed Tom to come out and say it on his own. Whether Tom realizes it or not, he needed it too. Tom needed it too.

"Nothing happened," Tom shrugged, watching his son sleep peacefully just a few feet away.

"Hmm," Jed hummed, tilting his head and assessing his son. "Did you rush things, Tommy?" Tom's head snapped back, his brow furrowed.

"What?" he scoffed, surprised by his father's question. Jed shrugged.

"I'm just saying, if you rushed it, and then cooled off, it's no wonder she's keeping her distance," Jed took a sip from his cup of water, letting Tom contemplate the statement.

"That's not what happened, Pop," Tom replied, putting the conversation to bed with his father. But in the back of his mind, he did wonder whether or not he had rushed it, and that's why they were in their current situation they were in. Maybe they shouldn't have gone as far as they did. Though everytime he thought about her skin against his, he wanted to be right back in that moment.

"Maybe I'm wrong then," Jed replied, putting his glasses back on and picking up his book. "Jenny is so much easier to talk to," Jed mumbled. Tom clenched his jaw.

"What was that?" He snapped. Jed chuckled.

"Your sister has a way of admitting things. As does your brother. You are so much more like your mother. Stubborn and hard to get to know. It doesn't hurt to talk, Tommy. You're an honest guy about everything else, but when it comes to your feelings, you're as nailed up as a coffin. Of all people to talk to, talk to me. Talk to your sister. We're not going to talk about anything you say to anyone else. Hell, talk to Mike. You know he's not repeating anything." Jed watched his son digest his words. Tom stood, frustrated and tired of being picked at. Jed watched him kiss Sam's forehead and head for the door. "Glad to see you took your ring off," Jed called after him, "Darien's looks real nice on Kara too. I'm proud of you, son," Tom's hand was on the door, the class ring staring up at him, and he waited a beat before turning the handle and opening the door.

"Thanks, Dad," he replied with a half smile, before stepping out into the hallway. He shut the door and stared at his own, contemplating going inside, checking on the two most important females in his life. Instead, he decided to take a walk, clear his head, check on some things. He headed down the p-way, secretly hoping that when he came back later, she'd still be there.

XXXX

Tom opened the door quietly, hours later. The lights were off, and he saw no movement on his bed. He closed the door and stepped quietly over to the desk, flipping on a lamp. Ashley was curled up under his covers, her head on Rachel's chest. Rachel was sound asleep against his pillows, her good arm wrapped around Ashley, his Navy emblem quilt over her legs. He stood for a moment, taking in the scene before him. He remembered the last time he'd found her like this, with both children, and what they'd engaged in after. He could feel the heat rush through his body.

One of the things that drew him to her was this; . These these quiet moments she shared with his kids. They made his heart want to open up to her, made him want to tell her how much he cared about her. The problem was, he couldn't get the words out, couldn't get out of his own head enough to tell her how he really felt. It was a frustrating push and pull within his own psyche.

He sat down on his office chair, leaning forward, running his fingers through his gray hair. He rested his chin on his folded hand, watching them sleep peacefully. It seemed that Rachel was just what Ashley had needed to ease her pain, and Tom knew first hand how that felt. He wanted so badly to climb in next to them, wrap his arms around Rachel and then Ashley, contemplated actually doing so. He knew it would just make things more complicated if he in fact did it, it. So he refrained from acting on his thoughts. But he imagined embracing her, of the feeling of having her in his arms once again.

After a long while of simply watching them sleep, he found his sleep clothes, stepped into the small bathroom to change, and then made himself comfortable on his too-small sofa. He could make do here, knowing his daughter was comfortable where she was, and for once Rachel was getting a good night's sleep. If he knew her at all, he knew that injury was probably keeping her up at night, and he was glad she was getting some well deserved sleep, even if that meant he had to sleep on the couch. He grabbed another of the Navy quilts and pulled it over himself as best as he could. Knowing she was in the room was comforting to him, he missed sharing a bed and a room with someone.

Her vanilla scent filled the room as he drifted off to sleep, hoping she'd still be there in the morning. He wanted to bring her tea and possibly talk with her. He also hoped Ashley's fever will be gone and she'd be back on her feet by tomorrow. He hated seeing his babies sick. He was glad for Rachel's help, and he knew Ashley was too.

XXXX

Rachel felt the ship pitch a little and woke slowly, the room dark around her. At first she wasn't sure where she was, or what day it was, but as the small being beside her shifted, she realized she was still in Tom's room. Her heart leapt into her throat. If she was in his bed, where was he? She pulled her arm out from around Ashley and felt her forehead; her fever had broken and she was cool now. Rachel smiled to herself. She must be feeling relief, and sleeping soundly, Rachel thought with a grin. She looked around, wishing she knew what time it was. She had no idea how long she'd been asleep.

She slowly sat up, trying not to groan in pain as she shifted from the warm, comfortable spot against the pillows. She scooted her way to the edge of the bed, and stood, feeling the ship pitch again. Was it raining, she wondered to herself, trying to determine where the wall was before she slammed into it. She felt her way along the cold wall until she felt the break of the doorway. As she stepped through it, the ship titled again and she lost her footing, stepping to the side and then falling forward. She knew the desk was in front of her, but before she hit the desk, her hand and face came in contact with something warm and hard. She realized it was Tom's chest as she inhaled that sweet, masculine scent of soap. Her fingers instinctively grabbed at his shirt as the ship tilted once more, and he steadied her gently with his hands on her hips.

"Easy," he whispered, and she could feel his breath on her cheek. Carefully, he stepped them back towards the lamp, pulling the chain to turn on the light. Her eyes adjusted slowly, and when she finally looked at him he was in front of her, watching her. His hair was rumpled from sleep, and though he looked tired, his blue eyes were clear. She couldn't imagine what she looked like, releasing his shirt to run a hand over her hair. For a brief moment she wondered where he'd been sleeping.

"Is there a storm?" she asked quietly, feeling the ship list again. He nodded.

"There must be. I just got up to head to the bridge to check on things," he explained, releasing her hip. She immediately missed the contact.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," she started, watching him head to his closet, pulling a sweatshirt over his head. "I had only planned to stay until she was settled, but I haven't been sleeping well, so I think when she fell asleep, I must have too…" she trailed off, watching him watch her. He noticed her hair was down again, laying across her shoulders aimlessly, wondered if because of her wound she couldn't put her hair up as she usually did. He gave her a small grin.

"It's fine. I slept on the couch. You looked peaceful, I didn't want to wake you," he stepped closer to her again. "Go back to sleep. I'll be back shortly, I can wake you when I return," he wanted to touch her hair, touch her cheek, but instead simply took in her beautiful eyes, the way they were still so sleepy. "Just in case Ashley wakes up," he added, trying to convince her to stay. Upon hearing his daughter's name, she seemed to consider the suggestion.

"All right, I'll stay with her until you return. Please wake me when you do," she asked of him, turning back toward the bed. She wasn't complaining really; his bed was much more comfortable than her own. He smiled in the dim light.

"Yes ma'am," he replied, heading for the door, "Thank you," he added, watching her climb slowly and awkwardly back into the bed. He tried to keep his grin from growing wider as he watched her.

XXXX

A few days later, Tom was still inhaling the scent of vanilla from his pillow. He'd washed the sheets to rid them of the germs Ashley might have left behind, but that one pillow offered him a sense of comfort. He stretched out, checking his watch and planning his day after his last few hours of sleep.

Ashley had recovered from her twenty-four hour sickness, and was off and playing with her friends again. Rachel had left that morning, upon his return, and despite his desire for her to stay, he had allowed her to leave, without even asking her how she had been feeling. He could tell from her face she had slept restfully, and for now that would have to ease his worries about her.

He and Mike had discussed moving the ship to warmer seas for the wedding, and they'd begin their trip today. They'd been anchored off the coast of Norfolk since the team's return from Deer Park, but with the announcement of the engagement and the subsequent wedding, tropical waters seemed a more pleasantlocale local during this time of year. Sam had his reservations, with Christmas approaching, he wanted a tree and snow, and though Tom had promised they'd have a tree, it seemed as though that wasn't in the cards for them at this time. He certainly wasn't willing to let anyone off the ship for something such as a Christmas tree. The safety of his people carried more weight than that.

He showered, shaved, and dressed for his day, sliding his turtleneck on under his BDUs. He, for one, looked forward to warmer weather.

Tom headed for the ward room for coffee and a small breakfast, anxious to get to the bridge and get the ship moving. He was surprised to find his sister in flannel pants and a sweatshirt, reading an old medical journal at the table with a cup of coffee. He checked his watch again.

"I've not known you to be an early riser when surgery isn't involved," he teased, pouring himself a black coffee and making a plate of eggs with a few strips of bacon.

"Funny," Jenny replied sarcastically, not looking up from her journal. "If you had come to visit more, maybe you would know that's not the case anymore."

"Good morning to you too," he replied in a curt tone, sitting next to her as she sat at the head of the table in his normal seat.

"I actually had a patient this morning, so I had to be up a little earlier than normal," she took a sip of her coffee, and then stole a piece of his bacon. He knew better than to argue, he chose his battles when it came to Jenny. She was the sassier of the children, being the only female seemed to give her that perogative prerogative.

"Oh yeah? Everything okay?" Tom asked curiously, taking a bite of his eggs. Jenny nodded, still not looking up from her journal.

"Mmhmm," she mumbled, "Dr. Scott needed her incisions checked and a redressing," she absent-mindedly baited her brother. He paused, just barely, in his chewing and she knew she had him pegged.

"How is she healing?" he dared to asked, trying to sound nonchalant. Jenny fought the smile that attempted to show itself.

"Ask her yourself," she replied, this time setting down the journal, pulling her knees up to her chest, and taking another piece of his bacon. He narrowed his eyes a little.

"I can't," he replied, strained. "Can you just tell me, please?" he asked politely, hoping maybe the use of the word 'please' would induce some kindness from her end. Jenny shook her head.

"Nope, sorry," she let the ends of her lips fold up in a semblance of a grin, "Doctor/patient confidentiality."

"I'm the Captain of this ship, Jenny. Everyone on this ship is under my authority, so I'm ordering you to tell me how she is doing," his tone dropped, and she could see that he was slowly losing his patience with her. This was a game they played, as brother and sister. She lived to make his life a little more difficult when they were together. She raised her eyebrows at his attempt at ordering her around.

"You're my _brother_," she stressed the word with a spiteful look "and _no_." She sat back with a defiant look, and she could practically see the steam rolling out of him. "Just talk to her, it's not as if she won't tell you. Aren't you two close?" She feigned innocence, "At least that's how it seemed when I had to throw you out of sickbay the day we got here."

He chewed thoughtfully, biding his time in his answer. "It's complicated, Jenny. I can't just ask her how she is. I have no reason to," he explained. Jenny cocked her head to the side and studied her older brother's features. He didn't look at her.

"You really do like this woman," Jenny assessed, a tone of surprise in her words. Tom's head shot up with a laugh. She waited for him to speak, and when he didn't, she continued, "Maybe she feels like she can't talk to you. You are a difficult one to talk to sometimes," she spoke frankly.

"Dad said that to me recently too . Since when did I become the difficult one to talk to?" He scrunched his face in dismay.

"It depends on what we're talking about. You have a way of biding your time and not always saying what you're thinking. You over think things sometimes. Just spit it out," his sister advised, pulling her long blonde hair up into a messy up-do on her head. "Tom, if you like someone, tell them. What do you have to lose?" she reasoned.

"This place is not exactly setup for relationships," he ignored her question, and presented a different problem. Jenny scanned the room, and gave a him a questioning glance.

"It's not exactly setup for babies either, is it? But you've got one of them coming so I guess you'll just have to figure it out," she rested her elbow on the table and put her chin in her hand. "Since when are you so tentative about things?" Jenny chuckled a little. Tom sighed.

"A lot has happened, Jenny. So much has changed. I can't risk putting myself or someone else in a situation that could end badly, especially when my children are involved."

"Your children adore Dr. Scott," Jenny commented, having seen the bond that the children developed with Dr. Scott. "If you have to choose someone to look after your children, you couldn't have picked a better woman. Leaving out Darien, of course."Jenny felt the need to be respectful to her late sister-in-law, who she had always been fond of. Over the last few years, she'd talked to Darien more than Tom himself. The women were close. No one ever wanted to have to replace their loved ones, but if Tom was going to, Jenny firmly believed Dr. Scott was a fine addition to the Chandler family. If her brother could get his act together, she chuckled to herself.

"I know they do, and that puts me at ease. But lest you forget, we're trying to mass produce a vaccine and a cure that we then need distribute and share with a population that is still dying by the droves all over the world. The only scientist who managed to develop the vaccine and cure recently got shot and only has one arm she can use at the moment. We're a little busy to be building relationships," Tom sat back in his chair with a sigh, and Jenny laughed again. "What?" he replied, resigned.

"You're such a stickler for regime and regulation. Let loose a little," she laughed again, thinking of the brother she'd known when they were kids, and all the trouble they would get in to.

"This is me letting loose," he spread his arms out, indicating his relaxed state in the chair. Jenny gave him an apologetic look and shook her head.

"What happened to Tom Chandler?" she rubbed a hand over her face. "You got old," she quipped.

"No, I grew up," he corrected, watching her. "As did yourself, Miss I-Don't-Get-Up-Before-Noon-On-My-Days-Off," he sassed her. She eyed him through narrowed eyelids.

"Touche'," she compromised, realizing he was right. "When did _we_ get so old?" she shook her head, her face in her hands. He laughed at her despair and they sat in amicable silence for a few moments, before Jenny spoke again. "I still think you should ask her yourself," Jenny shrugged. Tom rolled his eyes and threw his napkin at her, and she just laughed.

XXXX

Later that evening, Tom was headed down to the crew lounge to get Ashley and Sam for bed. They'd been watching movies for the past few hours, and though he was sure they could find their way back to their room on their own at this point, he had been trying to keep them on a sleeping schedule. There was no need for them to stay up all hours of the night, he had explained to them. They had a curfew and a bedtime, just like Ava.

As he was about to pass Rachel's room, he slowed his gait. Maybe he should knock, check in with her, see how she was doing. It had been a few days since they'd spoken, over a week since their conversation in sickbay, maybe she'd be up for talking.

Before he could think more about it, an object hit her door from the inside, followed by what sounded like a groan and expletives. He stopped for a moment, raising an eyebrow at the sounds. He contemplated knocking, he felt like he was intruding, but was concerned nonetheless. Against his cognitive will, he knocked on her stateroom door. She flung open the door, surprising him with force by which she did so. Her eyes held fire, and what he also thought might be tears.

She was surprised to see him standing there, and she knew it was evident in the flushing of her cheeks. How long had he been there, she wondered, embarrassed.

Tom took inventory of her flushed cheeks, her button up flannel shirt all the way down to her leggings and bare feet. His eyes rested on a hair brush that lay at the threshold of the door, thought that might have been the object he'd heard hit the door. "Everything okay?" He asked, his voice calm, gentle, concern evident in his features. He watched her hold back, blinking furiously for a moment.

"Yes, Tom," she replied back, annoyed, looking over his shoulder briefly, trying to get her emotions back under control.

"Can I help you with something?" He hated seeing her in pain, and it was written all over her face. She gestured toward the tight sling holding her arm against her chest.

"Can you fix this?" she snapped, her tone full of resentment. Tom had been there, knew what she was feeling first hand.

He chuckled a little, "No, that's unfortunately one thing I can't do," he replied softly.

"Well, what good are you then?" She sighed, lowering her head. He now noticed from the new angle how knotted and tangled her hair was. "I'm sure you're not a hair stylist either," she cracked, kicking the brush before turning around. Tom bent over to pick it up.

"Actually, I have a daughter and a sister. _That_ I can do." Her eyes widened as he approached her with the brush. "Sit," he said, motioning to the small chair by her bed. He shut her door, and watched her balk at sitting.

"I really don't need your help, Tom," she backed away from him, bumping her injured shoulder on the top bunk. She cursed as tears filled her eyes once more. Sympathy filled his handsome face.

"Sit down before you hurt yourself further," he encouraged, "Let someone help you for once."

She reluctantly sat without further comment, and as he stepped behind her, he smiled in satisfaction. He picked up a section of her hair, feeling the tendrils between his fingers still wet from her shower. "Tell me if I hurt you," he said in a soothing voice as he began to brush out the first section.

Rachel felt her eyes closing after a moment despite her desperate attempt not to enjoy the moment.

He brushed gently, working through each knot until it was clear, taking his time. He was in no rush to leave her, and didn't want to deprive her of some well-deserved help. He wanted her to enjoy this-she deserved something easy, it had been a rough patch for her as of late.

He inhaled the scent of her shampoo, took in the feeling of being close to her once again. He had missed this. He had missed her.

She leaned into the strokes of the brush, letting it take her over. He was practiced in this; he was gentle and thorough. She thought about his approach in bed, realized he might be the most thorough man she'd ever known. That familiar butterfly feeling began to flutter in her stomach.

He eyed an elastic band on the counter next to him and thought about his recent tutorial from Ashley on how to braid. Being a single father was teaching him a lot. He put the brush down gently and gathered her hair into three sections at the base of her neck.

She couldn't tell what he was going, but she didn't care. She just didn't want him to stop. She kept her eyes closed, trying to clear her mind of the rush of thoughts that seemed to plague her whenever he was within arm's length from her.

Tom was glad she couldn't see his look of utter concentration as he tried to neatly braid her long tresses. He silently cursed every time he had to start over, but when he finally finished and secured the long braid, he admired his work. He thought to himself that Ashley would be proud.

Rachel didn't move for a moment, so he grabbed a small mirror off the same counter, walking around to her front. He crouched before her, and she opened her eyes slowly at the feeling of his presence before her. She found him at her eye level, holding her small mirror. "This should keep it out of your face for a while," she looked in the mirror to find a braid resting over her shoulder.

A few of her front tendrils had fallen out to frame her face, and he couldn't stop the thought of how beautiful she was in this moment from crossing his mind.

A look of surprise again passed over her features. "Thank you," she managed out, thinking of how kind it was that he had done this for her. She caught his eyes as he searched hers. He was a magnet to her, she couldn't pull herself away. He rubbed her knee absentmindedly, and with every touch, sparks flew through her body. Her spine tingled. This man is as addictive as he was seductive.

He could feel that familiar pull, the way her tender eyes bounced from his lips to his eyes and back. He struggled internally. Gravity was pulling him into her, but he couldn't do that, couldn't give in to the pull without disrespecting her wishes. He didn't want to alienate her any further.

He chose to tuck a loose strand behind her ear, and tentatively leaned forward, and left a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Hang in there," he whispered, "It'll heal soon enough," He stood to his full height, knew he had to leave before he couldn't. "Sleep well," he gave her a sweet smile, which she returned.

"Thank you," she spoke again, finally finding her voice, watching him leave her stateroom. She sat still on the chair until he was gone and then dropped her head. Her fingers touched the spot he had just kissed, and she could feel her stomach swim just at the thought of his lips on her skin. This man made her an emotional mess, she realized once again, as tears dropped from her eyes. "I love you," the words escaped her lips in a sob. She was in well over her head.

* * *

_"Say you love me to my face_

_I need them more than your embrace_

_Just say you want me, that's all it takes_

_Hearts getting torn from your mistakes"_ Jessie Ware "Say You Love Me"

**_Thank you again for reading! Please leave a line or two letting me know your thoughts :) They mean the world to us authors! XO_**


	31. Chapter 28--RATED M

*This is round 2 for this chapter! Sorry for taking it down, but I had to alter a few things! Thanks for your patience!*

Wow! Pretty fast update for y'all :) All those reviews worked! Thank you again to those who always leave a little something. It really does help feed the writing monster, and keep me wanting to write this fic. I so enjoy getting each chapter finished for the readers, and then I am always truly interested in your thoughts. I look forward to hearing what you think of this one, since I went a little out of my comfort zone on the love scene you'll find below.

***This chapter is rated a hard M! It's intense. I do still think I left it classy, but please be aware as you head in that direction that there is definitely some strong M content. This is your warning!***

If you're wondering what song I used to write this chapter, it was definitely Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars. Put it on repeat, you won't be sorry!

Enjoy! Thank you for reading! And remember the **M-rating!** (I don't want anyone caught off guard!)

Don't forget to review! :D

* * *

Chapter 28

"Hey Dad," Ashley began, taking a bite of her broccoli. Tom took a bite of his own chicken, waiting patiently while Ashley finished chewing. "Why does Rachel seem so sad? She used to be so happy before she went away."

Tom coughed as he sipped his water, surprised by Ashley's forward question. Sam looked to his father for an answer, quietly eating his dinner. If there was something Tom could always trust in, it was Ashley's perceptiveness. She saw and heard everything. Well, almost everything, he thought to himself. She didn't know about him and Rachel, though her question could have led him to believe otherwise.

Tom thought carefully about his answer to her question. To be honest, he hadn't seen Rachel since they'd set sail towards the Caribbean for the wedding and a few days of R&amp;R for the crew. The last time he had seen her was when he had braided her hair almost a week ago. He'd had such a hard time walking away, he didn't know if he could afford to be near her quite yet. He was hoping that the fire between them would not smolder so bright so that he can control himself better. That had yet to happen. Every time he thought about her, he yearned for her. And he thought about her a lot.

"She's recovering from a traumatic injury," Tom replied, "She's got to take it easy so her body heals," he explained to the children, missing the days when he could have wine with dinner to help make their curious questions a little less intense.

"When you got shot, you were fine after a few days," Sam spoke up innocently, finishing his chicken.

"Not everyone is as strong as Dad, Sam," Ashley replied, giving you brother a dubious look. Sam stuck his tongue out in response.

"Alright, you two," Tom gave them each a warning look, raising his eyebrow, "In all seriousness Sam, your sister is right," he reached to his right, where his son sat on the first seat on that side, and tickled his side teasingly. Sam giggled, shying away and Ashley laughed at the scene. He was silently glad he had seemingly avoided the conversation, taking a drink of his water. Ashley finished her food and stood to clear her plate.

"May I be excused? I'm going to bring Rachel a cup of tea," Tom watched her grab a coffee cup and begin preparing Rachel's tea, and wondered when she got so mature. He found it sweet that she wanted to bring Rachel tea and was taking the initiative to do so.

"Sure, honey. That's very nice of you," Tom sat back in his chair. Sam looked between his father and Ashley.

"Dad, you should go with her. Rachel always smiles when she sees you," Sam's words were frank for a nine year old, as he sat back in his own chair. Tom pursed his lips.

"Yeah, Dad, she does seem to be happier when you're around," Ashley seconded while steeping the chamomile tea bag in the hot water, leaning against the counter, crossing her legs. Tom raised his eyebrows again, looking at his older child.

"I'm going to need you both to go back to being infants," Tom laughed incredulously, shaking his head. He stood up, clearing his and Sam's plates. Ashley let the tea steep, waiting patiently. Tom cleaned up, and when he looked back at Ashley, she had an expectant look on her face. "What?" He asked, eyeing her curiously.

"I'm waiting for you," she replied. "We need to go though, her tea is ready," Ashley stepped toward the door. Sam stood, following his sister. Tom stood still, watching them gang up on him. Ashley opened the door and Sam held it open, waiting for Tom to walk through it.

"What? You're coming too?" He asked his son, following Ashley reluctantly. Sam grinned.

"No, I'm going to find Grandpa. I think he's watching a movie," the three of them meandered down the p-way, Tom draping an arm over Sam's shoulders.

"Hey kids," he spoke after a moment.

"Yeah?" they both replied in unison as they walked.

"Love you," he spoke affectionately, a grin on his face. He rubbed his hand over Sam's hair lovingly, rustling the blonde locks.

"Love you too, Dad," Ashley replied back, looking over her shoulder with a smile.

Sam bumped into his father's side, "I love you, Dad," he leaned into Tom's broad side, as Tom hugged him close. Every day Tom felt fortunate he had them with him, that they were well adjusted and happy despite their terrible circumstances.

Tom and Ashley stopped at Rachel's door, as Sam continued on his way. Ashley waited a moment before knocking, and then handed the coffee mug to Tom. He looked at his daughter questioningly. She grinned, heading for the crew lounge. "Where are you going? Ashley!" He stood there, watching Ashley scurry away.

"To watch a movie!" he watched the mischievous grin cross her face before she disappeared down the corridor. Tom looked at the door, and then the ceiling, counting to ten.

Rachel answered the door, peeking her head around it. Her eyes widened at the sight of Tom before her, holding a coffee mug in his hands. He was casually dressed, she noticed, in sweatpants and a long sleeve tee shirt, indicating he was off-duty for the moment. He offered her a smile. She attempted one in return. "Hello, Captain," she greeted, and he could hear the question in her voice.

"Hello," he replied, seemingly unsure. She watched him look at her silently for a moment. He almost forgot about the tea in his hands. "Ashley wanted to bring you some tea," he noticed her hair was wet, as it fell past the door. He couldn't see the rest of her, and that made him curious.

Rachel looked around for the young girl. "Where is she?" Rachel asked. Tom looked in the direction she'd gone.

"She went to watch a movie with my father," Tom answered, realizing he sounded a bit awkward. She raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I appreciate the thought," she replied. They stood there like that for a moment before he seemed to find some confidence to continue.

"Can I come in?" He bravely asked, mostly because he was curious as to why she was hiding behind her door. She sighed, dropping her head.

"Sure," she answered slowly. He had brought her tea, she considered, slowly pulling the door open wider to allow him in.

As he stepped over the threshold, he noticed the way her long hair now fell against her back as she walked away from the door. His eyes roamed her body hungrily, despite his attempt to not let them. He took in her bare feet, those toned legs that he'd been missing that were barely clad in small cotton shorts, up towards her round glutes, to her back, He winced at the sight of the stitched up wound on the back of her shoulder, surrounded by a yellowish bruise. Her arm wasn't in a sling, he observed, though it rested against her side as if it was. He shut the door behind him and when she turned, he noticed that the white tank top she wore was sheer like silk. And that she was not wearing a bra. He sucked in a breath before he could stop himself. He felt the warmth of desire rush through his whole being. He then also noticed the wound and the bruising on the front of her shoulder. He was almost brought to his knees at the thought of the pain that she must surely be still suffering.

Rachel could feel his eyes ravaging her. In some ways she felt uncomfortable, but she also felt satisfied. _You like what you see?_ she asked silently, setting her jaw. She reached for her robe. This was the part she hated.

Tom saw her grab the cotton garment, immediately wished he could ask her to stop. "How are you feeling?" he inquired, feeling like that was a safe topic. He watched her struggle with the cotton robe, trying not to overextend her left arm, the pain searing through her. Jenny had encouraged her to do normal movements as best she could, encouraging the strength back into her wounded shoulder. Rachel silently cursed the woman, for the pain she felt was still very intense. "I'm hanging in there," she replied through gritted teeth.

Tom let her struggle as long as he could endure before he set the mug down on a shelf. "Let me help you with that," he stepped forward, sliding the robe around her and helping to get her left arm through it by pulling the material tighter than Rachel could have mustered herself. She was intoxicated by his masculine scent, the smell of fresh after shave mixed with his soap. As he pulled the cotton robe over her and let it settle against her chest, his knuckles brushed over one of her breasts and her stomach jumped at the sudden contact. She stepped back, pulling the ties around and tying them tightly around her waist. She stole a glance at his face, and judging by the pink hue of his cheeks, she could tell he knew he'd felt more of her than he should have. She stepped away, reaching for the coffee mug.

"Thank you," she practically mumbled, inhaling the aroma of her chamomile tea. Tom chewed the inside of his lip, sliding his hands into his sweatpants pockets.

"You have more movement in your arm than the last time I saw you," he observed, giving a hint of a grin. She sipped the hot liquid.

"Your sister has me on a strict physical therapy schedule," she relented the information. He nodded.

"She's strict, that one," he chuckled a little, leaning his back against the wall, surveying the beautiful woman before him. Rachel gave him a lopsided grin. A beat of silence passed between them before Rachel sighed. He looked at her questioningly. "You okay?" He asked, concern in his tone. She looked away from him, focusing on the knob on the cabinet to his right.

"Tom, why are you here?" She looked back at him, and her voice was soft. Tom could now see what Ashley had referred to as the sadness Rachel held. His brow furrowed.

"Ashley wanted to bring you tea," he answered honestly, "The kids are worried about you. They say you seem sad." He paused, waiting for her to respond. When she stayed silent, he continued. "Are you sad?" He asked, his voice just as quiet, his head bowed, his eyes gazing down at her with that gentle look she'd seen before. She bit her cheek, emotion suddenly welling up in her chest.

"I miss you," she whispered hoarsely, a heavy sigh following the words. He lifted his head, opened his mouth to respond, but she continued before he could, "I miss you, Tom. I miss our friendship. I miss our companionship. You've always been the person I've turned to, for everything, and things are so different now." She put the cup down on the small counter, and brushed her hair out of her face, crossing her arms as best she could, despite the shock of pain that tore through her. She paced a little in front of him. "I can't do this, Tom." She stopped and locked eyes with him.

He could see the raw pain and emotion in her eyes, upon her face. "Do what?" he asked gently, confused by her sudden desire to end something they had already ended.

"I have been wanting to tell you this ever since I came back from Deer Park," she continued, her arms around herself. "I have always admired your loyalty and dedication to whatever mission you have set out to accomplish. I probably realized that my feelings had shifted from admiration to something more personal when I saw your suffering after finding out about Darien's death." She looked at Tom's eyes and found him staring intently at her. His blue eyes pierced her soul. Tears started pooling in her eyes. "Tom, I fell in love with you. I fell in love with your kids. I bloody hell fell in love with your whole family!" As sob racked her slim form at her admission. "I never planned for this to happen!" She started pacing in front of him, all the while hugging herself.

"That night when we first made love, I meant what I said. And in sickbay, when I told you that my feelings for you were a distraction, I meant that too." she explained, stopping in front of him. He nodded, listening, seemingly to be deep in thought. "I can't do anything I'm supposed to do right now because all I can think about is you and my love for you! I do not understand what's between us or what's not between us. It's making me crazy, Tom. All of it." She put a hand on her forehead, begging the tears not to fall. "When we're alone together, you're one person. When we're not alone, you're someone else. I can't keep up!" She took a few steps away from him and looked back at him with her good hand on her hip. She found that she could not stop the emotions pouring out of her heart. Try as she might, she could not rein them in. The words just kept pouring out. "Who do you want to be, Tom? Because you can't be both." Tears slipped down her cheeks, despite her attempt to hold them in. "I can't hide how I feel about you. I do not have the switch to turn it on or off at will. I do not want to fall in love with you at the rate that I am in if you're not even willing to try." She didn't bother wiping at the tears that fell down her cheeks. She motioned with her hands gently the act of surrender.

Tom took the few steps separating them and reached for her gently. He caught her good arm and brought her towards his strong chest, wrapping her up in his arms. Rachel tried to evade him but he persisted. Despite her physical protestations, he managed to gently hold her close.

His heart was breaking at the pain he'd caused this woman. He never meant to hurt her; she was the one who had asked for space. Now he realized she had asked for space to protect her own sanity, her own well being. And from what he could tell, that hadn't done her any good. He rested his head against hers, swaying them gently sideways as she cried on his shoulder. His arms rested at her waist, his large hands splaying across her lower back, stroking gently.

He pulled back from her slightly and looked down. Rachel continued to burrow on his chest. He tenderly took her chin and brought her head up to meet his eyes. He realized that the pain she felt was all his fault. His hands moved to cup her cheeks, and before he could stop himself, he pressed his lips to hers. She tasted of the tea, and the salt from her tears. He drank her in, waiting for her to respond. It took her a moment to respond, and when she did, he was not disappointed. Her injured hand gripped the fabric of his shirt while her good hand traveled from his chest to the nape of his neck. Her lips responded with the fire that he remembered and had been craving. Tom could hardly believe the heat coursing through him with the feeling of kissing her once again. He had missed her, missed this.

She'd been shocked to feel his mouth on hers at first, had considered pushing him away, but as his mouth coaxed hers, she found that her desire to feel him again overpowered her defenses. Despite her injury, she found her body clinging closer to his, her lips opening to his exploration. She could feel his whole body against her own and it scorched all her nerve endings.

His hands moved towards her lower back, gripping her trim waist. With surprising strength, she pushed him back against the wall, as her right hand continued to slide through his short hair. She'd missed his lips, missed being in his arms. She could now lean fully against him and feel all of him against her. She craved every square inch of him. Feeling the need for air, her mouth left his to trail its way towards the strong column of his neck, licking and nipping as she went. He took a shuddering breath and endured the feeling of her breath and hungry lips on his neck.

He let her have the upper hand as long as he could before he turned her around and carefully placed her against the wall. He slid his right hand behind her left shoulder to protect her injury with the back of his hand. Rachel's lips returned to his, and he deepened the kiss. With his left hand, he pulled the ties of the robe, letting the lapels fall to the sides and exposing her tank top. With his success, his lips began meandering their journey towards her slender neck, ravaging her soft skin with his hot mouth. Rachel's eyes fluttered shut as she leaned her head back against the wall, her breathing turning into gasps.

Tom, for once, didn't think about the possible repercussions of what they were doing. He was determined to show her just how much he cared, how much he wanted her. His mouth found one of her nipples through the thin material of her tank top, taking the nub between his teeth and his tongue licking it to life creating friction between the cloth, his tongue and her nipple. She shuddered beneath him, letting out a moan that told him he was succeeding. Her left hand gripped his flesh through the thin material of his shirt. He didn't care, though, it only provoked him more. Her moans and gasps urged him on. He pulled the neck of her tank top down, and bared one of her breasts. He took it into his mouth hungrily and sucked. Rachel gasped sharply at the contact, her hand moving up to his head, running her fingers back through his soft hair. Quiet, passionate moans escaping her lips. He suddenly felt her right hand move from his head to his waist, searching for his hardened length through his sweatpants. He growled against her breast as he felt her hand rub against him.

The vibration of his lips against her skin caused a rush through her abdomen. Her hand became more aggressive, and he found his own hand roughly capturing her other breast, while his tongue worked its magic on the one still in his mouth. He squeezed her full breast, his fingers digging into her flesh. He'd missed this with her. He switched breasts, giving attention to the other. She moaned, her back arching off the wall.

He slid his hand down her stomach, finding the top of her shorts. He played with the waist of the soft cotton, checking to see if she'd try to stop him. When she continued to stroke him, he slid his hand in, a little awkward with his left hand, but finding what he was looking for. He slid a finger against her, felt her hips buck against him, and he grinned. He released her breast and brought his mouth up to her neck, finding the soft spot behind her ear.

Rachel's breathing had intensified and she was practically panting with want. Only this man could do this to her, she thought. As he slid one finger inside her, she could feel all the nerves in her body stand on point. When he added a second, she wanted to faint from pleasure. He was thorough, definitely thorough. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

Her tears were forgotten as his lips found hers again, and he breathed new life into her soul. His fingers worked her as she reached inside the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers, reaching for what she knew was beneath. He bit her lip to stifle their moans as she wrapped her hand around his flesh, sliding her hand up and down his length as best as she could.

The last two times, the only two times, they'd been intimate, it had been different, subdued. It was pleasurable, but this was different. This was raw. Primal. With a hint of desperation.

Rachel gripped his chest harder, could feel herself getting closer to the edge. She was glad his mouth was against hers, she knew otherwise she would have been calling out his name loud enough for others to hear. His lips were rough against hers. Tom needed her. He wasn't sure how much more he could take of this foreplay, he knew what he really wanted, could tell from the slickness around his fingers that she wanted it too.

He leaned back, slowing his assault on her lower half, glancing over his shoulder at the bed. She gripped him harder when he attempted to step back, and when he looked back to her face, he stopped. Her lips were red and swollen from their kisses, her eyes were open and full of want, her cheeks flushed. She used her grip around him to pull him closer to her, and she lifted herself up onto her tip toes, shivering at the change of pressure she felt inside as his fingers stayed still. She thrust her hips against his hand, urging him on, her lips taking hold of the vein in his neck. She felt his moan against her lips more than she heard it. He knew then what she wanted, and he wasn't about to turn her down.

Tom began moving his hand again, this time with more urgency than before. The whimpering sounds she made gave him all the encouragement he needed. She leaned her head back against the wall, simply holding on to him as he pushed her over the edge. Tom felt her walls tighten around his fingers and saw her bite her lip to prevent her cries from escaping her lips. Her eyes were shut tight. This was a sight he wouldn't forget-the look on her face as he brought her to exploding heights. He let her ride out her orgasm, let her come down from her high, before he slipped his hand out of her shorts. When she opened her eyes, they were burning with intent. She saw his eyes lit up like blue flames. A seductive smile started to form from her swollen lips. It was his turn now.

Her lips crashed in to his again, wrapping her arm back around his neck, pushing her body into his. He gripped her hips and rubbed himself against her, indicating his own need for release. She pushed him back toward the chair that stood by her bed, pulling his shirt up over his head. He tossed it on the floor, before reaching for hers, gently pulling it over her head. His mouth again moved to her supple breasts, sprinkling kisses along the now exposed flesh as she pushed at his sweatpants as best she could. He obliged her, kicking his shoes off and pushing them down, before pushing her shorts down. The soft light of the cabin made her skin glow, and he couldn't take his eyes off of her, scanning every inch of her.

She pushed him down onto the the chair, her hands finding his shoulders, as she straddled his legs. For a moment they kissed, unceremoniously, their need for each other taking over. Unable to wait anymore he lifted her hips up, and let her slide down on him, settling himself deep inside her. She moaned against his lips, and he let her adjust to the new position for a moment. He slowed their kisses, his lips moving more slowly against her, wanting to remember everything about this moment.

Rachel couldn't process anything besides the feeling of him filling her, his hands as they roamed her back, in a caressing manner, and the way his lips drank her in. She gripped his shoulders, her fingernails digging into his skin, as he lifted her hips up and let her slide back down his length. She parted their lips, throwing her head back, her hair cascading down her skin. His mouth found her sternum as she moved herself on him, increasing their friction.

Despite his desire for their pairing to last, he could feel his release getting close. He clutched her hips, rocking her harder against him, urging her closer to her second orgasm.

The feeling of his fingers roughly grasping her hips, his strength easily moving her against him was enough to get her off. That coupled with their chests now pressed together, the friction his muscular chest created against her bare nipples was turning her inside out with pleasure.

Her toes curled, and fingers gripped his shoulders with everything she had, as the beginnings of her orgasm took over. He quickly covered her mouth with his, before she could make too much noise, feeling her moan into his mouth. The clenching of her walls around him was all he needed, gripping her hips tightly, pulling her down hard on himself, his own moan practically a growl against her lips. They kissed for a few moments, as they both rode out their releases, before she heaved against him, her forehead falling against his slick shoulder. His head fell against her soft hair, and they sat, joined, in silence as they caught their breath.

"Rachel," he whispered against her hair, his warm breath tickling her ear. She shivered, snuggling her head deeper into his neck. He wrapped his arms around her. "I do love you," he said ever so quietly into her soft hair. She stilled, her breathing ceasing, as she digested his words.

After she didn't move for a moment, he ran his hands up her sides. "You okay?" he asked quietly, concerned. She lifted her head, looking at him. He couldn't read her expression.

"What did you say?" She asked. She needed to hear him say it again. Needed confirmation that he meant it. When he reached up to push a few loose strands of hair out of her face, she noticed something else: he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. In its place was a large class ring she'd never seen before. "You're not wearing your ring," she managed out before she let him answer. He looked at his hand, where he was subconsciously stroking her arm.

"I'm giving it to Kara to give to Danny at their wedding," he explained, inspecting the ring he now wore. "I gave Darien's rings to Danny because those rings brought a lot of joy to my life, and that's what Danny and Kara deserve. There's a bond created by those rings that I couldn't break until now. It's their bond now," he ran his hand under her long hair, running his fingers through her tresses as she kept her eyes on his. She shivered and he realized she must be cold. "Let's move to the bed," he spoke quietly, gesturing toward the warm covers. She nodded, reluctantly lifting herself off of him and sliding under the sheets. He followed suit, and they laid on their sides, facing one another. His hand glided aimlessly up and down her blanket covered arm. He thought for a moment about what he wanted to say, how he could say it without hurting her. "Rachel," he began, taking a deep breath, "I was married for a long time, and never strayed or cheated. And if she were alive today, I don't know where we'd all be. But she's not. And that's been hard for me to swallow," he took another breath, closing his eyes. "I carry a lot of guilt about what happened, not being able to save her. But every day gets easier. Because the kids are okay. Because my family is back together," he ran a finger down her cheek, "Because of you." He paused again, seemingly fighting his own emotions. "I haven't been fair to you, and for that I'm sorry. It was unintentional, and I didn't know keeping us a secret would hurt you as it did. I'm sorry Rachel," he peered at her, where she lay against the pillow beside him. "Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do. And seeing you hurt made me realize how much I mean that statement. I've made a lot of mistakes with you. I'm not very good at this, I've not navigated these waters before. You have every right to be upset with me."

Rachel remained silent, taking in the heaviness, the emotion in his features. "I also meant what I told you during the first time we made love," he continued, "I have fallen hard for you. I may not be able to show it to others but I do love you," his words were sweet, his blue eyes full of affection and love as he stroked her cheek.

"So you're saying you want to stay a secret?" she couldn't help but feel let down, her heart sinking. Tom closed his eyes. He knew she wouldn't agree.

"That was all you took away from that?" His attempt at humor was lost on her.

"You're saying you love me, but only behind closed doors?" she asked, her eyes bearing the hurt she felt. Had they really made no progress in the last hour, she cursed him in her head.

"I have a duty to my crew, I cannot give them any reason to lose faith in me," he struggled to explain his position.

"So showing that you love me will make them doubt your leadership?" Her words carried bite, and set her jaw. He pursed his lips.

"Rachel, please understand my position-"

"What you're saying is your crew cannot see you show emotion, they'll think you're distracted," she interrupted, her tone sharp. "Have you not thought about the fact that your children are on this ship, that you show how much you love them every day? Has it not occurred to you that Mike's family is also aboard the ship, that he's not distracted despite that fact? No one will doubt you, or judge you," she held her position, passionate about the man lying before her. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes again. She bit them back.

He again ran a hand down her cheek, trying to soothe her. "I'm not saying we can't ever come clean, I'm just asking that we keep this between us for now. Please?"

She shook her head sadly. "Tom, I'm all in. What I feel for you….," she drifted off with a sigh, before locking eyes with him, her emotions hitting him right in the gut, "is too much to hide."

* * *

_Thank you again to JOYS of October for lending her editing hand and helping me get this chapter right. This chapter definitely holds a bit of a collaborative spirit, and I am definitely so appreciative of her help! Hopefully you readers are seeing the difference, with no errors and such :)_

_Again, CathyCath, we talked about what Tom and Rachel would say to each other weeks ago. Thanks for always letting me bounce ideas off you! :D_

_Thank you all for the incredible reviews and PMs recently! It makes me so very happy to know you're enjoying this story! I look forward to your thoughts on this chapter-I gave it my all!  
_

_Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts! _

* * *

_**Sneak Peek:** "Tom stepped through the doorway, cap tucked under his arm, dressed in his sharp dress whites. Kara stood in Christine's wedding dress, regarding herself in the mirror. He smiled emotionally. She was stunning. She turned to him, insecurity written on her pretty face. "Does it look all right?" She asked him, her voice shaky, realizing how much this man had become a surrogate father to her. He locked eyes with her, reassuring her...TBC_


	32. Chapter 29

Tom held the metal railing, leaning against it with his weight. He stared out at the coastline of Serrana Bank, the island they had visited after their water scare. The sun was ablaze in the sky, blue ocean stretching out around the gray ship. He sighed. It had been a long two days getting here.

It wasn't long in time, or long because of problems. It was long because his mind was full. Full of stress about a particular doctor and a particular recent conversation he'd had with her.

He was bothered. Frustrated. And annoyed. With himself.

"_Tom, I'm all in. What I feel for you is too much to hide."_ Her words rang out in his mind, his reaction weighed heavily on him. He'd stayed for a while that night, embracing her, neither mumbling another word after hers. He hadn't had anything to say then, and he didn't really at this moment either. He rubbed a hand over his face, stepping back to lean against the steel of the ship.

"Thought I'd find you down here," his thoughts were interrupted as Mike walked toward him, a cigar on his lips, a hand in his pocket. Tom laughed a little.

"I see you're getting ready for a joyous wedding weekend," he kidded with his friend, gesturing toward the cigar. Mike chuckled unapologetically.

"Tex had a few Cubans left over, offered one up," he pulled the cigar out of his mouth, inspecting it. Tom shook his head with a grin.

"You can't pass that up," he crossed his arms, relaxing against the metal.

"Hell no," Mike agreed, leaning next to his friend. "You've been quiet the last couple days."

Tom should have known Mike would see right through him. He sighed, raising an eyebrow. "Have I?"

"Tom, I've known you for 20 years. I know when you're off your game," Mike replied, eyeing Tom. Tom shrugged a little, shoving his hands in the pockets of his uniform.

"You want the truth or you want the bullshit lie I've concocted?" Tom attempted to bring humor to the situation, throwing a sideways glance Mike's way. Mike let out a laugh.

"Well, while I am curious about the lie, but I might be more curious about the truth. What'd you do?" The condescending tone didn't offend the Captain, just made him chuckle with a shake of his head.

"I upset Rachel," Tom began slowly. Mike waiting patiently for him to continue, puffing on the stoggie. "I really care about her, but I don't think I'm ready to share it with the crew or the kids," Tom forced out. Mike nodded thoughtfully.

"Have you told her you care about her?"

Tom nodded, "Yeah," his smile was sheepish. Mike gave Tom a mischievous look and laughed.

"Nicely done," he verbally applauded, knowing the meaning behind Tom's words.

"Thanks but it seems I'm really only good at pissing her off," Tom rubbed his hands over his face for effect.

"How'd you manage that?"

"She doesn't want to keep us a secret, doesn't understand why I do."

"Why do you want to keep it a secret?"

"I don't want the crew to think I'm distracted. Or that I would break the no fraternization rule that I punished Kara and Danny for. I also don't want the kids to think I've replaced their mother so soon," Tom explained, pacing a little now.

"The kids really like Rachel. It's not about replacing Darien. If you think they'll think that, have the conversation with them," Mike rationalized. "They spend a lot of time with her. Just look at them," Mike gestured toward the beach where Rachel was playing a game of tag with the four children. Tom took in the scene before him-he'd been watching them for some time now, hence his choice of location to dwell on things. They were far away, but he could still see their forms, and could feel their happiness from here. "The crew is...well…," Mike drifted off, seeming to contemplate his own words. "Tom, these people don't know anything of their families, their loved ones. It's not outlandish to think that eventually they will start forming bonds with people upon this ship," he turned to Tom, "that inevitably includes you too." He watched Tom pace slowly, taking in his XO's words.

"I don't love her just because she's here and Darien's not," Tom responded, his words defensive. Mike shook his head.

"I wasn't insinuating that. Don't put words in my mouth. What I'm saying is you care about this woman, and it's okay to let people know. No one would thinks it's a bad thing. And the crew will not lose faith. Look how far you've brought them."

"I've made questionable decisions," Tom admitted, dropping his head. Mike raised his eyebrows.

"You're the first person to tell someone else not to overthink their actions. You need to take your own advice for once," Mike advised.

"I just don't know what the right next move is," Tom ran a hand over his gray hair, sighing. Slattery watched him, took in his demeanor. Mike shrugged, smoking his cigar.

"What do you want?" He asked simply.

"I want to make her happy," Tom answered thoughtfully after a long silence, his eyes trained on the beach. "If I can do that, then that's all I want." His voice was soft, honest.

"Then do that," his friend replied simply.

"What do you think I should do?" Mike surveyed his friend for a long moment, thinking about all the possible repercussions. Nothing could be worse than what they've already done or been through.

"Are you asking me if I think you should tell everyone about you two? Because it sounds to me like you've already made up your mind. Question is, can you redeem yourself with her?" Mike eyed his friend, watching him digest his words. Tom leaned on the railing. He shrugged, defeated.

"I don't know. I don't know if I've waited too long. She hasn't spoken directly to me in two days," Tom sighed. Mike raised eyebrow.

"Directly?"

"She's really good at indirect conversation. She's defiant that way," Tom chuckled a little, small annoyance evident in his voice.

"And you're sure she's the one you want to get involved with? She's a bit fiery for you," Tom stood, looking at Mike with a questionable gaze and Mike shrugged. "What? Darien wasn't exactly storming down p-ways to kick your ass like this one tends to do."

"I'm too old for this," Tom dropped his head with a laugh. Mike slapped his friend on the back.

"Remember that scotch you made me hide in my cabin? This may be a good time to bring it out," Mike raised his eyebrows, looking for acceptance. Tom made a face, letting out a laugh.

"That I made you hide?" he exclaimed, laughing.

"Well, maybe you didn't make me hide it, but aren't you glad I did?" Mike replied kiddingly. Tom rolled his eyes.

"You're going to get us into trouble with your wife," Tom replied, patting Mike's shoulder as they walked back toward the bridge.

"You know Christine. She'd join right in," Mike waved off Tom's comment. Tom laughed harder.

"We'll see," he drifted off, still chuckling.

"Remember that advice I just gave you? I can take it all back," Mike threatened. Tom pushed him in the shoulder, and Mike just laughed.

XXXX

"Rachel! There are flowers over here! Come on, Aunt Jenny!" Ashley darted through the foliage, Ava quickly behind her, followed by Sarah and Sam. Rachel and Jenny made their way behind the kids, letting them get out all the pent up energy from their time on the ship. They were picking flowers for Kara's bouquet, while Christine was back onboard fitting the dress to Kara.

This was the first time Rachel had been out without her sling, and despite how good it felt to not have to wear the cotton material around her neck, the soreness was still there. She held her arm close to her ribcage, trying to relieve some discomfort.

"You doing okay?" Jenny asked, peering at Rachel as they walked up the natural path. Rachel offered her a warm smile and a nod.

"Yes, just still a bit sore is all," she replied, keeping her arm still. Jenny nodded.

"Yeah, it'll be like that for a while unfortunately," she reluctantly spoke. The two women had grown closer over their time together in sickbay, as Jenny helped Rachel with her physical therapy and kept watch over her wounds. The women often had tea together in the afternoons now, despite their medical time.

"That's what your brother said too," the words were out before Rachel could stop them, and she bit her lip, hoping Jenny didn't catch on. For all the time they spent together, Rachel never talked about Tom as anything other than the Captain. She was careful to never refer to him by his first name either. Calling him 'her brother' just then had thrown that out of the window as well.

"My brother, huh? Which one?" Jenny inquired, knowing which one she meant, but also wanting to hear Rachel say it. She threw a sideways glance at Rachel as they walked. Rachel kept her eyes trained forward.

"The Captain," she replied softly. Jenny nodded slowly.

"Uh huh," she'd been waiting for Rachel to bring Tom up in any other regard than that of him as the Captain. She was taking this as her chance. "Yeah, he's been shot a few times," she laughed a little. "He's not your traditional captain," she added.

Rachel considered her words carefully. "Has he always been stubborn? Insistent on...what he..believes?" She had a hard time getting the words out, as they waded through some thick brush. Mostly, she wasn't sure how to word her question without getting caught. Jenny let out a laugh.

"Oh my Lord, the man has always been so stubborn. He definitely got his stubborn attitude from my father, but his quiet demeanor about it comes from my mother. She was much harder to get to know than my father. Tom takes after her in a lot of ways," Jenny explained. Rachel took every word to heart. "He and my father bumped heads almost every day. Hence his not joining the Army. Jimmy is my father through and through, hence the Ranger status."

"Where is your mother?" Rachel chanced the question. Jenny smiled sadly.

"She passed about 10 years ago, from cancer. Tom took it the hardest. He was a true mama's boy," Jenny's smile was far away as she talked, "He was deployed when it happened, grieved alone. He wasn't able to come home for two months. That was hard."

"I'm so sorry," Rachel's words were heartfelt. Jenny grinned.

"Thanks, but it's okay now." She paused for a moment. "You two seem close," she countered, looking to read Rachel's reaction. Rachel slowed her gait a bit.

"We've been working closely together for quite some time," she replied carefully. Jenny raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, you have," she agreed. "Did you know I had to throw him out of sickbay when we got back to the ship? He wouldn't leave your side." Jenny decided to try and sort out exactly what was going on between her brother and this woman. Whatever it was, it definitely had layers.

"No," Rachel replied slowly, not looking at Jenny. She couldn't bare for Jenny to see her eyes. She couldn't hide the emotion. "No, I didn't know that."

Jenny couldn't read Rachel's voice, so she continued. "He sat by your bedside almost the entire time you were unconscious." She paused for a moment, trying to read Rachel. "Yes, clearly you two have a very close working relationship." Jenny chewed the inside of her cheek, trying to keep a straight face.

Rachel remained silent, taking in Jenny's words. She had wondered about that, but to have it confirmed made her heart skip beats. "I didn't know that either," she finally managed out. Jenny nodded.

"He was extremely distraught over your injury. From what I heard from Jimmy, he was furious with them during their debriefing." Playing innocent wasn't hard for Jenny, she'd been playing this role for years. This digging came naturally, she enjoyed it actually. She would get something out of Rachel, even if it took all day. "But then, after the fact, he tried to force me to tell him how you were healing. Said he couldn't ask you himself. That had me confused, since just days before he'd been so aggressive about being by your side."

Rachel was starting to sweat, and she wasn't sure if it was because of the hot tropical sun or Jenny's quiet interrogation. She didn't know how to shift topics. Thought that might make it even more obvious than it already was.

"Well, it's complicated," Rachel forced out when Jenny didn't continue. Jenny eyed her as they continue to walk.

"So complicated he can't ask you how you're feeling after his own brother shoots you?"

Rachel didn't have an answer for that. When it came right down to it, when put in those terms, it didn't seem all that complicated. She sighed.

"Your brother has a knack for keeping things to himself. He's not the easiest to read." Rachel relented a little, annoyed at the man who was the topic of conversation. If his sister was picking up on these things, other people must be too. For someone who wants to keep things a secret, he was doing a poor job on his end.

"Yeah, he can keep things close to heart. It's part of his job, who he is. And he's very even-tempered, which doesn't always help. Mix that with his stubbornness and you've got a cocktail for confusion," Jenny offered the insight. Jenny peered at Rachel curiously, "What exactly is he keeping to himself?"

Rachel chewed her lip. "Well it's not so much of what he's keeping to himself exactly. More of what he's keeping from everyone else."

"Want to talk about it?" Jenny offered her ear, that's what friends were for. And she was beginning to consider Rachel a friend.

"I care about your brother...Tom," Rachel began slowly. Jenny nodded.

"Okay. Has he told you how he feels?"

"Well... yes," Rachel replied, the words more of a sigh, as her cheeks turned a pink hue. Jenny's eyes widened and she pulled Rachel to a halt.

"You've slept with him!" Jenny blurted out, deducing it from Rachel's harsh blushing. She was surprised by that, if she was honest with herself. She didn't see that coming. Rachel gasped, bringing her finger to her own lips, asking Jenny to be quiet.

"Jenny! Shhh! The children!" Rachel's quick response was one of reaction and had an element of laughter in it. She quickly shook her head. "And no! No, of course not!" She scoffed, hoping her lie held. If she could lie about a virus killing almost all of the world's population, she could lie about Tom, right?

Jenny eyed Rachel through narrowed eyelids. "I don't know if I believe you," she replied, with a dubious grin. Rachel huffed, putting her hands on her hips.

"Jenny, you can't tell a soul," the older woman relented, dropping her head in defeat. Jenny didn't know how to comprehend what she'd heard. She could tell something had been brewing between them, but not to this degree.

"Was this before Darien-" Rachel didn't let Jenny even finish her question.

"No! It was absolutely after." She immediately answered. Jenny sighed with relief.

"Oh good," she replied.

"Nothing happened before your brother's wife died." Rachel wasn't about to tell Jenny she'd known she was smitten with Tom long before that.

"So wait," Jenny looked thoughtful for a moment. "Why is it so complicated again? I don't think I'm following."

"Tom is protecting the crew and the children. There is nothing between us," Rachel cleared the air. Jenny's brow furrowed.

"But you just said…"

"I didn't say anything, you picked that up all on your own," Rachel reminded Jenny, pointing at her playfully. Jenny waved her off.

"You confirmed it," Jenny responded with a sassy smile. "Regardless, you clearly care about him, and I know he cares about you because we've talked about it, so why aren't you two-"

"You've talked about it?" Rachel exclaimed. Jenny's eyes widened. She was now much deeper than she'd intended to get. She pursed her lips as Rachel stared at her.

"Well, I mean, a little bit," Jenny tried to backtrack. Rachel tilted her head, her eyes narrowing.

"What do you mean 'a little bit'? What did he say?" Rachel felt like a schoolgirl, trying to get answers out of Jenny about a boy she was crushing on. She was confused though, that despite Tom's insistence on keeping things a secret, he was doing an incredibly poor job at it.

"He didn't really say anything, except exactly what you're saying right now." Rachel clenched her jaw at Jenny's words.

"That man is infuriating. I just don't understand him," She moved off, heading for the clearing where she could hear the children laughing and picking flowers.

"Wait, Rachel. He didn't say anything other than how he's protecting the crew and the children, just as you just said. We're family, of course we're going to talk. Truth be told I dragged it out of him. Don't be mad at him." Jenny spoke with conviction, hoping to calm Rachel before she got too upset. "Tom doesn't rebel, he's a stickler for rules and regulations. He's probably having an inner battle of wills," She explained. "My brother is very calculated and doesn't make moves on anything unless he is 100% sure. If you've been on the water with him this long, you should know that by now. I know he cares about you, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks that. Whatever he's done to upset you, whatever mess he's made, he means no harm. He's a terrible communicator when it comes to things of the heart sometimes. But he is a good person, the best, and wouldn't hurt someone on purpose." Jenny watched Rachel's emotions cross her face and she sighed, almost sadly.

"He's good at making messes," Rachel replied ruefully. Jenny laughed.

"Yeah, he's the best at that too," Jenny shook her head.

"Please don't say anything to him about what I said," Rachel requested of her new friend. Jenny nodded, having learned her lesson.

"It's our secret," Jenny replied as she headed for the field. "I mean, I don't mind knocking some sense into him if you need me too," Jenny added with laughter. Rachel grinned.

"I might take you up on that offer one of these days," Rachel replied before their conversation ceased as the kids ran to them, their hands full of tropical flowers. Rachel tried to turn off her brain as she listened to the children talk about the flowers and the wedding, but despite how hard she tried, she wasn't able to do so. For once, she found herself angry instead of just hurt. Granted, it was his sister he was talking to, not some random crewmember, but it still angered her that he had asked her to keep a secret and then decided to talk to someone about it. She took into account for a moment that Jenny had managed to pry the information out of her, what if that was what she did to Tom? And if she could play Rachel so well, she surely could play Tom like a fine-tuned instrument. She envied the younger woman's ability. Maybe if she could figure him out as well as Jenny could, they wouldn't be at this impasse.

XXXX

As darkness fell, the women came back aboard with the children, everyone heading their separate ways for showers and dinner. Tonight would be an early night for the children, they were exhausted from their trip ashore. Jenny escorted her niece and nephew back to their cabin, noticing her brother's open door across the hall. She had promised Rachel she wouldn't say anything, but as she peered at Tom as he sat behind his desk, still very much working, pure concentration on his features, she couldn't help herself. She knocked lightly on the door frame and he immediately looked up. He grinned at his little sister. Her knees were dirty, her hair piled on her head, all signs of a successfully fun day. He chuckled.

"You look like you did at ten years old," he teased as she leaned against the door jam, her hands behind her back.

"I haven't really grown up as much as you'd think," she teased. "Have a good day?"

"Not as much fun as yours, but yes, thank you. Getting ready for the wedding rehearsal in 30 minutes, and then I think it's an early night for everyone," he replied, checking his watch.

"Did you give Kara your ring?" Jenny inquired. Tom leaned back.

"Not yet, I will before the ceremony tomorrow."

"Bet you never thought your Arleigh Burke destroyer would see a wedding on the high seas," she giggled, regarding her brother. So much really had changed.

He shook his head. "Nope, didn't think this would be something we'd ever be doing. But, I suppose stranger things have happened." He wanted to ask about Rachel, but bit his tongue. "You heading for dinner?"

"Yeah, I'll probably turn in shortly after." she stepped forward, pulling her hand out from behind her back. "Hey, sounds like you messed up recently. Flowers are a great way to say you're sorry," Jenny handed Tom the bundle of wild flowers, as he stared at her, bewildered. "Don't worry, I picked the ones she liked best," Jenny gave her brother a wink and a soft grin, before turning and heading down the p-way to her room. Tom stared at the small bundle, a small laugh rising in his chest. He shook his head and leaned down to smell the fragrant petals. Flowers. He hadn't thought of that. He owed Jenny for that one.

XXXX

Tom watched from the wing as Jeter went through the motions of what the marriage will entail with Kara and Danny. He distinctly remember that moment in his own life, as well as Mike's. They were nervously holding each other's hands as Jeter explained what would be said and how. They had chosen the bow of the ship, Tom made sure to to position the ship at just the right angle for a spectacular view behind the couple. Even now, standing where they were as the sun sank on the horizon, he would be pleased with the choice of location if he were part of the couple. This destroyer had brought them together, it seemed like the perfect spot when Tom really thought about it.

"I remember watching your rehearsal. You were shaking like a leaf," the female voice caught his ears, and grin spread across his features. He turned to see Slattery's wife making her way toward him, coffee cup in hand. She was a pretty woman, Tom mused, strong-willed like her husband. He stood up from leaning, greeted her with a friendly smile.

"I was not," he countered. She shook her head.

"You were so nervous, don't lie," she teased, looking down on the couple.

"I wanted it to be perfect," was his choice response, not willing to admit he had been terrified at the time.

"Didn't we all?" Christine replied with a sideways glance. Things had been rough for years between Mike and Christine. He wondered if being in such close quarters was helping or hurting them. "They're a sweet couple," she changed the subject, leaning against the railing herself. Tom nodded.

"They are a good match," he agreed. "Thank you for letting her use your wedding dress," He added genuinely.

"I'm glad I could contribute. She deserves to wear a beautiful gown on her wedding day. Every woman does," Christine sipped her coffee.

"I agree," Tom smiled. "How is everything? Do you need anything?" he turned a little bit, wanted her to know he was meaningful in his questions. She gave him a kind smile.

"No, Tom, we're doing well. Thank you though." She stood up to her full height, rocked on her heels. "I was so mad at him when Lucas died, because he wasn't there, because he was never there for anything," she began. Tom slid his hands in his pockets, waiting for her to continue, feeling she must need this time to talk. They hadn't caught up since she'd been back on board, other than at dinner amongst the group. She and Darien had been close, spent a lot of military holidays together. Tom and her were close by association, though he would do anything for Mike's family. "But being here, with him, seeing everything you all do day to day, what it takes to run this ship...I had no idea of what he really did, I've realized." She let out a self-deprecating laugh. "Goes to show you how supportive I've been over the years."

Tom shook his head. "It's hard, Christine. For all of us. I wouldn't recommend being a military wife to anyone, especially after all that has happened. I'm sorry about Lucas," his words were heartfelt and he truly was. He felt solely responsible for so many of the people they had lost. She gave a small shrug.

"We're working through it," She turned to him, "Thank you for accommodating us."

"It's my pleasure. We're glad to have you," He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, hugging her to him. She leaned into his strong frame, rested her head against his chest.

"Hey! Get your hands off my woman!" Both turned at the sound of Mike's playful voice, their small embrace ending. "I know you're lonely, Tom, but this one belongs to me," he pulled Christine to him gently, wrapping her up in a bear hug. She laughed as she settled easily into his broad chest. Tom chuckled, shaking his head.

"Sorry Mike, weak moment," he turned back to the rehearsal, watching the two kids embrace as Jeter finished their run through. The actual wedding was set for 1100 hours, and then they would spend the day having a party. He wished he could give them more of the traditional wedding they deserved, but without linens and decorations, they were making do with what they had. Kara would be the belle of the ball, though, he was sure of that.

He watched the couple embracing beside him for a moment, happy they were working through their issues. Mike deserved to be happy, they both did. He could also think of someone else who deserved to be happy. He quietly excused himself and headed back to his cabin.

XXXX

Rachel pushed her hair back as she stepped into the lab, rolling up the sleeves on her button down shirt. It was early, but she had to do a few things before getting ready for the wedding. She turned on a few lights, and as she turned the knob on the one on her desk, her eyes landed on a small cup of wild flowers in water. She touched the petals, surprised to see them there. They were all the ones she had found to be the prettiest while on their walk. She smiled slightly. Jenny had a hand in this, she knew it.

A small folded piece of paper sat against the glass that was being used as a makeshift vase. Tentatively she picked it up, unsure of what she was about to read. She opened the paper and took in the words that were neatly handwritten.

"_Please accept my apology. I'm sorry I hurt you...Tom"_

Rachel looked between the note and the flowers, wasn't sure if she was happy he was acknowledging his mistakes or if this was just another nail in their coffin of secrecy. She had to admit, she was impressed and taken aback by the gesture. She couldn't remember the last time she had gotten flowers. And knowing these were freshly picked on the island made her heart flutter at the effort put in.

She sat down at her desk, chewed her lip for a moment. She re-read the words over and over, tried to read between the lines. This man was complex, a fine mess of layers. But if she was honest with her heart, she couldn't get enough.

XXXX

_I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! Expect a nice big update in the next chapter as well :) I'm very excited about what's to come, and I hope you all are too! _

_I suppose I teased y'all with the Tom/Kara sneak peek, which will actually be in the next chapter. Don't worry, it'll be worth the wait!_

_Remember, your reviews and thoughts mean everything! Thank you for the favorites and follows too! Please let me know your thoughts :) They are greatly appreciated! _


	33. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

**This chapter was a labor of love :) I hope you enjoy it! Please note, there is more **M-rated** behavior at the end. Consider yourself warned ;) **

* * *

Rachel stood, placing the note back on her desk. She ran her fingers over the writing, suddenly feeling conflicted about her reasons for being in the lab so early. She checked the desk calender and knew what today was the best time to try. She thought again about her desire to find out. She didn't think she was, though she knew that she'd feel differently if she were. But with all the trauma her body had been through, she wasn't sure it would behave as it normally would. She took a deep breath and stood to collect her items.

If there was one thing she hadn't done it was to take her own blood. She knew she could, knew how to, but it wasn't easy especially considering her current limitations with her left arm. But as she laid them all out on the table beside her, she didn't have much choice. She didn't want anyone else to know what could possibly be brewing. There was too much risk for rumors to start and for Tom to find out. She had no interest in having this conversation unless she had to.

She tied the tourniquet around her arm, making a fist, feeling for the vein to pop. The position was a bit uncomfortable for her shoulder, but she managed, as she found the best vein, hoping she could get this over with quickly and painlessly. The painless part became unavoidable as she wasn't a very good marksman on herself. She made a mental note not to attempt this again, as it took five tries to get the tip of the needle in her vein. She cursed under her breath at the pain she inflicted upon herself. _You probably deserve it if you're stupid enough to get yourself into this mess,_ she thought sheepishly.

She released the tourniquet, and pushed the small tube into the end of the needle holder, the blood beginning to pour in.

The door to the lab swung open, and her head flew up to see who her intruder was. It was shortly after 5am, she had purposefully chosen this time to come down here so as not to be interrupted. As Tom stepped over the bulkhead, her eyes widened. She locked eyes with him as his gait immediately slowed, his face overcome with confusion and then concern. His eyes roved her arm, the needle inserted at the crook of her arm, the bruise that had already begun to form where she had clearly missed the vein, and the blood flowing into the tube. "Rachel," he began, his voice slow and steady, despite his immediate shutting and securing of the lab door. "What are you doing?" He asked, tentatively walking towards her. She rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Do you ever knock?" she regretted the tone of her voice as soon as the words left her mouth, but admittedly, she'd been trying to save him from this step. She pulled the tube off the needle, shaking it slightly, before setting it on the table.

"Well, I didn't think I had to, but apparently I was mistaken." Unlike her bothered tone, his was quiet and full of concern. She pulled the needle out, placing gauze on the small spot on her skin, and applying pressure. When she looked up, his eyes were full of questions. "Are you alright?" If she wasn't mistaken, she heard a hint of desperation in his voice.

Her heart flipped. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm not sick," she replied, catching his ocean eyes with her own. He searched hers, looking for some sort of assurance.

He furrowed his brows, concerned by the scene before him. He was immediately worried for her health. Did she have an infection from the bullet wound? He thought for a brief moment about running to get Rios or Jenny. "Okay…" he drifted off, watching her stand up, taking the vial of her own blood to a machine. "Can I ask what you're looking for then?"

"In my blood? I'm running a qualitative test," she began. Lying to him was so hard these days. She put the vial in the machine, shut the lid and turned it on. "This machine will analyze my blood and give me the answers I'm looking for." She turned to face him, saw him staring at her anxiously. She offered a small smile. "Either way, I'll be just fine."

"What are you testing for?" he pressed again. "What is a qualitative test?"

"Tom, sit," she gestured toward the chair by her desk. His eyes widened, but he sat down silently.

He looked at his watch. It was too early for this, he thought, anxiety rolling through his veins now. He saw his note lying by her keyboard. So she'd read it. That was a good sign, he decided. He tried to ease his sick stomach.

She sat down beside him, moving her mouse to wake her computer up, awaiting the results. She checked her own watch. "This won't take long, probably 10 minutes," she explained.

"What won't take long? The results?" She looked over at him and he was practically pleading with her silently for some explanation as to what she was talking about.

"Tom, I'm late," She ran a hand through her loose hair, letting out a breath. She looked back at him, trying to judge his reaction. He didn't really respond at first, just blinked at her. She was surprised though, when he reached across the desk and took her hand, encasing it in this larger two.

He understood now. He put all the pieces together. "Okay." he replied, stroking the soft skin of her hand. Her eyes were glued to the embrace of their hands, she had expected an entirely different reaction from him.

"It could just be my body coping with the trauma of the gunshot wound. I lost a lot of blood and I haven't exactly been 100% since," she reasoned, trying to ease any other feelings he might be having. His gaze never faltered from her eyes, his hands never let go of hers. She was honestly surprised by his reaction.

"Could be," he agreed. He chose his words carefully. A long moment passed where neither of them spoke. "If you are…?" he drifted off, leaving the window open for conversation.

"I don't currently have any means to terminate a pregnancy," she replied honestly, chancing a glance at his face. His calm look calmed her churning stomach.

"Would you really do that?"Tom questioned lightly, genuinely curious what her actions might be. She looked again at their joined hands.

"I don't know. Let's just see what happens," she practically begged. She couldn't comprehend what would happen if the test actually came out positive. She wouldn't know what to do with herself, let alone how to explain it to other people.

"I would never ask that of you," Tom felt the need to assure her, to wash any worry away. And he meant it.

This time she held his eye contact, felt warm by what she saw. The understanding, the kindness. His eyes were soft, his face eased of any stress. For a moment, she faltered. _Wait...does he want a baby? Now?_

"Thank you." She replied, meaning every ounce of what the words carried. There were so many things she didn't know about this man, but the more she learned, the more she loved, despite their differences.

He didn't respond this time, instead, moved around the table to embrace her. He took the opportunity and hoped she wouldn't push him away. Her head was just above his stomach as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He waited for her to grow rigid, to pull back, but instead, she settled her head against him, took comfort in his arms, in the warmth he radiated. He rubbed her back gently, her hands resting in the belt loops of his BDUs. They stood like this, in silence for a few minutes, both lost in the world of 'what ifs'.

Tom couldn't deny the fact that he wasn't ready for another baby, that was true. But in no way would he ever ask her not to carry his child full term. They would do what they had to make it work. Was he terrified? Absolutely. Was he going to tell her that? Not a chance in hell.

Rachel took deep breaths, taking in the scent of his soap, the starchy smell of his uniform. She found contentment there. If she was pregnant, she didn't know what she'd do, didn't know how she'd react. She hadn't intended on telling him about this unless she had to, to save him this worry she was sure he now felt. But she had to be honest with herself...sitting here waiting alone would have been torturous compared to sitting here with her head against him, his hands now running over her hair, gentle and nurturing.

"We'll figure it out, no matter what happens," he cooed quietly. She nodded, unable to look up at him, for fear he'd see her soul on display.

Her computer beeped and they both stilled, their breathing stopping momentarily. She slowly, reluctantly, pushed away from him turning to face the screen. He stepped behind her, but didn't take his hands off her shoulders. She moved the mouse, bringing the screen back to life. Swallowing hard, she brought up the results from the machine. A heavy sigh escaped her mouth as she read over the results. He squeezed her healthy shoulder gently.

"What's the verdict?" he asked, trying to keep his voice light. She let out another breath, looking up at him over her shoulder.

"It's negative," she replied, not sure how she should now feel. Something, in the moment, about carrying his child had seemed romantic, nice, _real_. Staring at the negative results left her a little sad. Would she ever have a child?

She knew deep down that now wasn't the time. But she now was certain. She wanted a baby. With Tom.

Tom ran his hand over her soft strands again, not breaking their eye contact. "Okay." He replied, his tone even. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice soothing. As he stared down at her, he was shocked by the small bud of disappointment hanging in his gut. He didn't really want a baby, did he? And now? Well, maybe not. But someday, definitely. He hadn't thought that, after Sam was born, he would want more. But staring into Rachel's eyes made him think otherwise.

"Yes," she spoke after a moment, "I am. It's for the best," she tried to reason. He nodded with a little hesitation.

"Maybe," he replied cryptically. She raised an eyebrow in silent question. What did he mean by maybe?

He didn't take his hands off of her until she slowly stood, unconsciously running a hand over her flat abdomen. He watched the motion, felt conflicted. He captured her hand in his before she could turn away.

"I came down here this morning to make sure you got my note," he explained, holding her small hand tightly. "I hope you know how truly sorry I am," he held her eyes, drinking them in. She nodded.

"I did get your note," she answered him. She chewed her lip. "Thank you for the beautiful flowers," she added. He dipped his head with a chuckle.

"You're welcome." he simply answered. He couldn't give up all his secrets. "I didn't know how to write it, but I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed our time together a few days ago," he stepped closer to her, unable to stop himself. She sucked in a breath, the feeling of him being so close after saying something so intimate having quite an effect on her.

"I did as well," she spoke honestly, under the hypnosis of his ocean blue orbs.

The thought of kissing her weighed heavily on him. He wanted to kiss her, wanted to pull her into his arms. He was overwhelmed by the feelings he had for this woman, more than he thought he was capable of feeling again.

She wanted to get lost in him, she wanted him to take her again, wherever he wanted, however he wanted. But she knew she was needed elsewhere. It was a big day. And she knew if she gave into him, if she let him have his way with her after their last conversation, she had gained no ground and kept no dignity. Despite the stirring desires she felt , she knew she needed to go.

"I have to go help Christine get Kara ready," she pushed out the words. He nodded, though his hot eyes never faltered. He nodded.

"Okay. I'll see you in a few hours," he reluctantly stepped back, releasing her hand.

"I'll see you at the ceremony," she replied, missing the contact already. She cursed him, what he did to her. She watched him walk away with a smile, leaving her be. She collapsed into her chair as soon as the lab door shut and she put her head in her hands, her body a pile of mush. So much had happened even before 0600. She covered her mouth, staring at the door. Today was going to be a tough day, but she knew she had to stay strong, and hold her ground. If only he wouldn't wear his dress whites. Rachel sighed, defeated. This man made a mess of her, emotionally and physically.

XXXX

"Captain," Slattery found him on deck, awaiting the beginning of the ceremony, chatting easily with Jeter. Tom turned as his XO approached. His cover shielded his eyes from the bright sun, and despite the occasion, they all were a little warm under the tropical skies in their customary dress whites.

"Hey Mike," Tom greeted. They'd become more casual in the days since Baltimore.

"Gentlemen," Mike greeted in response, before turning to Tom. "Kara is requesting you," Mike passed the message. Tom's raised his eyebrows, concern filling his heart.

"Is everything okay?" He asked. Mike shrugged.

"Not sure, Christine just told me she's asking for you," Tom nodded at Mike's words.

"Excuse me, gentlemen. Let's hope we don't have a runaway bride on our hands," he teased with a grin. He headed for her quarters, concern hanging in his heart. He hoped everything was alright.

He knocked on the door gently, awaiting her answer. He slid his cover under his arm. He heard her call to enter, and slowly turned the knob, opening the door. He stepped over the threshold. When he looked up, he saw Kara standing in the middle of the small room, all alone, dressed in Christine's wedding gown. Her hands played with the fabric with her fingers nervously. The dress was a-line, white, almost sheath-like. It had once had puffy sleeves, Tom remembered, when Christine had worn it, but now it was sleeveless. The long veil fell against her back, her hair tied up in a beautiful updo. Her small baby bump protruded under the white fabric, but due to her small frame, she was all belly. A smile grew on Tom's face. She was a picture-perfect bride.

Kara looked up at him, insecurity written on her face. "Does it look alright?" she questioned, her voice shaky. She suddenly realized then how much this man before her had become a surrogate father to her.

His eyes were soft, the smile growing. "You look stunning," he assured her, and he meant every word. A relieved smile fell upon her face and she took a deep breath.

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely. Danny will fall in love with you all over again," Tom reassured her. He knew he would because he'd been there before.

"Thank you," she spoke, her words portraying her appreciation. She fingered the material for a few more seconds, before looking back up at him. "Captain," she began, her voice shaking again. He stood, waiting patiently for her to continue, his hands clasped in front of him, his cover under his arm. "Would you give me away?" The words fell softly off her lips, and her eyes were watery with emotion. She'd thought for days about how she would ask, what she would say. But in this moment, as the man she now considered a father-figure stood in front of her, she was at a loss for words. Her real father was supposed to do this, but he wasn't here. She knew Captain Chandler would understand that, the magnitude of what she was asking.

He could feel his own emotions bubbling to the surface. He couldn't deny her such a thing, in fact, he would never. He nodded easily. "I would be honored," he answered her, a large smile of relief breaking on her face. He stepped forward, embracing the young woman. He truly was honored.

"Thank you," she spoke into his chest. He gave her a squeeze.

"It's my pleasure," he replied, before pulling back. He reached in his pocket, pulling out the freshly polished wedding band for Danny. Kara's eyes welled up as he placed it on her palm. "This was my wedding band. As I told Danny, these rings gave my late wife and I so much joy, and an unbreakable bond. That bond is now between you and Danny. I hope these rings bring you as much happiness as they brought us." She squeezed her hand around the ring, before throwing her arms around his neck.

"Thank you, Captain," she whispered, her words full of emotion. He embraced her, gently wrapping his arms around her back. After a moment she leaned back, wiping her eyes. He handed her a tissue, gently blotting underneath her eyes to ensure she didn't ruin her makeup. "You really are a father," she remarked, laughing a little through her tears. He chuckled.

"That I am, first and foremost," he confirmed. He observed her once he was done. "Are you ready, the future Mrs. Green?" he extended his arm for her. She grinned from ear to ear.

"I've never been more ready for anything in my life," she replied, sliding her arm through his.

"Your guests await," he spoke as he opened the door, leading her to the deck where she was about to marry the love of her life and the father of her unborn child.

Christine waited at the edge of the gathered sailors, who stood, awaiting Kara's arrival. Several of the female crew members had brought a couple dresses along for their R&amp;R days, and Christine had borrowed one from a taller girl, along with a pair of heels. She grinned widely as the bride and Tom approached, arm in arm. Tom tipped his cover to her as soft music played, signalling that it was Kara's moment.

Tom caught a glance of Rachel as soon as he rounded the corner to the center of the crowd. Everyone was facing back towards them, but she stood out to him amongst the sea of people, in a sleeveless black dress that flowed right at her knees exposing her beautiful legs as it flowed in the breeze. Strappy black heels completed the ensemble, and he noted that her hair was pulled up out of her face, bundled on her head in a way he'd never seen her wear it. She was on the edge of the second row, next to his father, Jenny, and James. Sam was leaning his back against her front, her arms over his shoulders. Ashley was at her side, smiling broadly as soon as they saw Kara and their dad. His smile grew larger, if possible, as Rachel caught his eyes, nodding with a smile. She was absolutely gorgeous. She practically glowed under the hot sun.

He looked every ounce the father and Captain he was as he walked Kara toward Danny. His shoulders were broad and proud, his arm wrapped through Kara's, his hand over hers on his forearm. She chanced a glance at the younger man at the altar, could see the tears in his eyes as he watched Kara advance down the makeshift aisle.

Rachel had a sudden flash of what it would be like to be the one walking toward him, the thought of marriage surprising her. Something about him made her want to settle down, and she was sure it had something to do with the beautiful children that were hanging off of her in this very touching moment.

As Tom passed Rachel, he made sure to give her a smile, and chanced a wink, watching her smile broaden and her eyes drop in a shy movement. She rubbed Sam's chest in a motherly motion that made Tom's heart leap.

They stopped in front of Danny and Jeter. Danny stood at attention out of respect, saluting his Captain. Tom saluted him in return, before reaching to shake the man's hand. They shared a smile, before Tom transferred Kara's hand to Danny's, just as his father-in-law had done for him so many years before. "She's all yours, son," Tom gave a fatherly nod as he stepped back to where Rachel and his children were with his own father.

Despite her resolution to keep her distance from him, Rachel found their arms brushing, and her heart fluttered. Ashley stood against her father's hip as Jeter began the ceremony, Alisha holding Kara's bouquet. Tom and Rachel stood next to each and to anyone around them, they would seem like they were together. Rachel secretly wished they were in this touching moment-that he would wrap his arm around her, and hold her while the two young sailors said their vows, tears of joy streaming down some of the crew's faces. This group had become a tight knit family. It touched all of them that Danny and Kara were getting married, growing their family.

When it was time for the rings, Tom handed them to Sam, who graciously walked to the front, presenting them to Russ. He cracked up the emotional crowd when he saluted his friend Danny, who saluted him in return with a broad smile, causing a teary laugh from Kara.

The kiss brought cheers and applause, and Tom glanced at Rachel as they clapped. Her eyes shone in the sun with unshed tears, a light-hearted smile on her face.

She gazed at him more lovingly than she meant to, and when he didn't break her gaze, it took all she had not to climb all over him right then and there. In his whites, his cover, under this beautiful sun, she didn't want to take her eyes off him ever. But she knew that was what she needed to do. She thanked a higher power as Ashley tugged at her hand breaking the spell she seemed to be under.

"Rachel! It's time for dancing!" the young girl squealed with delight. Rachel laughed and nodded.

"Yes, my darling, it is!" she allowed the girl to pull her away toward the flight deck they had set up for dancing and food. Tom watched them go, knew he'd see her later. He found Mike beside him shortly, a cigar again on his lips, an impish grin as well.

"How about that scotch, Chandler?" Mike raised his eyebrows, his voice quiet and secretive, wrapping his arm casually around Christine's neck. She laughed, holding onto his arm.

"What? Are you two in the academy, again?" she teased them, rolling her eyes.

"Honey, you better be glad you didn't meet me until after," Slattery laughed, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Tom watched the two, and could tell they'd been healing their relationship. He was happy for them. They had needed this time together. "So?" Slattery asked again, looking back to Chandler, needing his approval, but also wanting his friend to partake in the adventure. Tom contemplated the action before shrugging, nodding. Slattery nodded happily, before catching Tom's warning look.

"Just a couple, Mike, nothing more. I don't want to have to be scraping you up off the flight deck," Tom chastised his friend as they began walking toward the flight deck. Slattery scoffed.

"Have you seen me? I'm pretty sure it'll take more than a couple drinks to knock me down," he laughed. Tom shook his head.

"It's been a while," he reminded Mike. Mike raised an eyebrow in jest.

"For you," he winked. Tom rolled his eyes, laughing.

Before they could say more, guests were beginning to filter by, as they all headed to the same area. Music was already playing as they walked onto the deck, crew dancing, the kids dancing, people eating, and enjoying themselves.

They hadn't done a traditional cake or food set-up, due to their capabilities. But Danny and Kara did get their first dance. The crowd was quiet as they watched.

Rachel sat at one of the makeshift tables by herself as the song ended and people began moving to the dance floor. She was trying to get into the festive mood, enjoy all that went on around her, but she was having a hard time forgetting the early morning events. And when she'd seen Tom walk Kara down the aisle, she couldn't help but wonder if that could ever be their daughter some day. If they were ever able to get over the hump they were currently struggling with. She sighed a little, chewing her lip.

He gave her flowers, even apologized, but didn't change his mind. She wasn't sure how to process that. It left a bad taste in her mouth, and made her sad. She'd appreciated his company this morning in the lab during the test, even wondered what might have happened if she'd been pregnant; would that have changed anything. Or would he be with her then out of duty. She felt a bit sick about it all.

"Hey there, friend," Jenny greeted, sitting down next to Rachel. "Having fun?"

"Yes," Rachel answered, though her grin never really reached her eyes. Jenny eyed the other doctor.

"He's stupid. Don't let him ruin your day," Jenny advised, taking a sip of her punch. Rachel laughed at Jenny's words.

"He's not ruining anything," Rachel lied, a real smile on her face. He really wasn't. There wasn't anything to ruin.

"Good," she grinned. Tex strolled over at that moment, extending his hand to Jenny.

"Hey there Dr. Chandler," he winked at the pretty blonde, "Wanna dance?" Jenny nodded at the rugged man.

"Absolutely," she took his hand, winked at Rachel, before making her way to the dance floor with Tex. Rachel leaned back, watching then, resuming her previous thoughts. Where was he anyway? She was having trouble locating him amongst the sea of whites.

Jimmy made his way over to her out of the crowd, and she grinned when she saw him. Despite all, she did adore Tom's family. "Hello, James," she greeted with a smile. She imagined Tom must have looked just like him at his age, only a bit taller. He smiled in return.

"Hello Rachel," he replied, reaching his hand out, "would you like to dance?"

She looked from his hand to his face and back. What did she have to lose? Sitting in the corner sulking about her almost pregnancy and Tom wasn't going to do her any good. She smiled graciously, putting her hand in his.

"I would, thank you," she replied, letting him guide her to the floor for the slow song.

She danced with Jimmy, who was then interrupted by Tex. The man had her laughing outright as he joked with her, waltzing her across the dance floor. He was quite the dancer, she realized.

Jed eyed his son, stepping up next to where he stood at the edge of the deck, watching all the party-goers.

"Having a good time, son?" Jed asked, taking a sip of his drink. Tom eyed the cup.

"What are you drinking, Pops?" Tom smirked, his eyes trained on the dance floor-on Rachel and Tex. Jed shrugged.

"It appears Tex keeps a bottle of bourbon stowed away in his cabin. Who knew? It's good stuff too. Would you like a sip?" he offered Tom the cup, knowing full well what his words would do. Tom shook his head once, rolling his eyes.

"No, thanks." He replied, crossing his arms across his broad chest. "Why is everyone stowing away alcohol these days?" he grumbled. Jed raised an eyebrow. In some ways, he enjoyed teasing his eldest.

"Something you'd like to talk about, Tom?"

"Nope," he shook his head, sure in his actions. He didn't need to talk about anything, he was settled in his decisions. He just didn't know when he'd put his thoughts into action, as he watched Tex attempt to swoon Rachel with his fancy footwork.

"Well, I'm going to go dance with your lady friend, since you're not, and Tex needs to get his hands off of her. Excuse me," he handed Tom his cup and headed for the floor. Tom watched as his father cut-off their dance, pulling her into his arms, holding her like a father would hold a daughter. He looked in the cup, wrinkling his nose. Maybe later he'd have a drink, but right now, he was not in the mood.

"My son may be a little slow, so I'm looking out for him," Jed laughed, dancing with Rachel slowly. She threw her head back, laughing.

"Why do you say that?" she asked, unsure of what he meant.

"See, he's watching you from over there, but he seems to be too captain-ey to make a move," he teased, as he waved at Tom. Rachel's cheeks turned a rich red, and she ducked her head down. Jed turned his attention back to Rachel when Tom didn't advance toward them. "So Rachel, we can't keep meeting like this," he charmed, twirling her around. She giggled. If Tom could just be as honest as his father…

"We do have a tendency to dance together," she played along.

"You should really be dancing with my eldest. He's much better on his feet." Rachel couldn't help but grin at Jed's words. He was always Tom's biggest fan. Well, after her anyway.

"I wouldn't know, I haven't ever seen him let loose in that regard," she teased. Jed laughed, his old eyes twinkling.

"He's a tough one to crack. I think you're almost there though," he deduced that from the way that, despite Tom's current conversation with Danny and Kara, he kept one eye on Rachel. He knew Tom was smitten, it was just a matter of time before he admitted it out loud.

Rachel shook her head. "I don't think it's going to work out with that one," she spoke honestly. She truly felt that way, why hide it?

Jed pulled his head back, looking at her, brow furrowed. "What? Giving up so soon?" he asked curiously. "You've battled Russians, dug through ice and snow in forty below, and created a cure to a virus that killed over eighty percent of the world's population, and _my son_ is something you think you won't fight for?"

"You're a gambler, right, Jed?" Rachel asked, regarding the man before her. He raised an eyebrow.

"I have been known to gamble a bit. Don't change the subject," he warned with a chuckle.

"All I'm saying is...what's the phrase? You've got to know when to fold 'em?"

"Quoting 'The Gambler' at me, are you?" That caused a deep laugh. "As a betting man, I'm still betting on you two."

"You've got a losing hand, sir," she laughed again, but Jed could tell she was sad underneath all of her layers. They danced a while longer, their conversation drifting to safer topics, before he allowed Danny to cut in. He watched the groom move her away on the dance floor, and turned to see Kara asking Tom for a dance. He grinned. Despite all, they were practically the parents of the two young sailors. He found his drink and took a seat. He wanted to see how the rest of this event played out for these two.

"Congratulations, Danny. What a beautiful ceremony, and a gorgeous bride," Rachel grinned at the handsome Seal as they danced. He blushed a little, looking extremely happy.

"Yeah she's something," he replied, glancing over at his wife in Tom's arms as they danced together. Rachel followed his gaze before speaking again.

"I never did say thank you for what you did for me in Deer Park, did I?" she began, his attention drawn back to her. "I don't know if I could have survived without you there," she spoke honestly, her eyes growing misty with unshed tears. "Thank you for being there for me, Danny."

"I wasn't about to let you die out there, ma'am," he replied, glancing at Tom, "I did it for you as much as I did it for him." His words were vague, but they hit home in Rachel's heart. Hard.

"She looks beautiful, doesn't she?" Kara followed Tom's gaze to Rachel, who was dancing with her new husband. Tom looked down at Kara sideways, taking in her innocent look, that he knew was not so innocent.

"She does," he answered slowly. And she did. With the light amount of makeup, her hair spun up in a chignon, and the form-fitting dress, she was a vision to behold. "Yellow light, Lieutenant," he warned. She laughed.

"I'm just saying, sir," she said, shrugging, "Just calling them how I see 'em," she replied, a grin on her pretty face. He eyed her with a laugh.

XXXX

A couple of hours later, Rachel found herself chatting with Mike and Christine happily. She had really grown to enjoy Christine and her daughters' company during the wedding set up and Kara's preparation for the wedding. She could see how they truly were a strong match in chemistry and demeanor; Christine was exactly what Mike needed in a woman. And it seemed as though their being aboard the ship together had only brought them closer. She was laughing at Mike's jokes, which were a little encouraged by the small sips of scotch he continued to take.

Mike was mid-story when a large hand slid itself into hers as it hung by her side. She jumped a bit, surprised by the sudden contact. She turned and looked up to find Tom jumping into the conversation, adding to the story, holding her hand as if it was the most natural thing to do. Rachel could barely hear the conclusion of the story, the hand squeezing hers distracting her on more levels than she could comprehend. She looked up at him, trying to read his expressions, as he spoke with Mike, teasing him about his alcohol intake. When Christine assured him she had Mike under control, he turned to Rachel, not ever releasing her hand.

"Shall we dance?" he asked casually, searching her eyes. He had been watching her throughout the day and he couldn't wait any longer. He needed to make every man who couldn't take their eyes off of her know who she really belonged to. He was now staking his claim on her. And as Alisha began to sing along with the soft strums of the guitars, he worked up the courage to finally ask her to dance.

She knew her eyes were wide as she nodded, as if her body was betraying her mind. She'd told herself she was going to keep her distance, but with her hand tucked in his, as he walked her toward the pairs already dancing, she wasn't pulling away now.

Tom settled her gently in his arms, careful of her still-healing wounds. His hand settled against her taut lower back, fingers splayed out across the soft fabric of the tight dress. Her arm wrapped itself around his shoulder, mindful of the insignias that indicated his rank that perched upon his broad shoulders.

Her small body nestled against his, and she noted how he was holding her closer than anyone else had all day, almost in an embrace. They danced slowly, their bodies close. She could feel his heart beat against her chest, feel his breath on her hair. Her knees felt weak.

They danced in silence a few moments, just enjoying the feeling of being in each other's arms again, the sound of Alisha's incredible voice.

She became aware of the people watching them, the way they whispered amongst each other. And their smiles. There were so many smiles. She felt her cheeks grow pink.

"Tom," she began, unaware of what to say. She wasn't sure he was okay with all of this, despite the fact that he'd initiated the dance.

"Yes, Rachel?" he replied, the use of her first name putting her at ease. The way it slipped off his tongue made her shiver.

"Your crew...they're staring," she stuttered.

"And?" She could hear the smile in his voice.

She leaned back and gazed up at him. He peered down at her, looking so very handsome in his dress whites, his blue eyes shadowed under his cover as he looked at her. "Let them stare," he replied nonchalantly, locking eyes with her.

It then dawned on her that he was going public with their secret relationship. "I've got nothing to hide," he added. In that one moment, her entire world had changed. He sounded concrete, like he was sure. And as he continued to dance with her, she trusted in that he was completely sure. As Jenny had said, the man didn't do anything unless he was 100% sure.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" she inquired after a few moments, finally finding her voice.

"You deserve to be loved in public, not just in private." his voice was sweet, his words sweeter. She blushed madly under his eyes. With a smile that rivaled the one from his stateroom, when he'd told her to enjoy the moment of victory upon creating the cure, she settled her head against his chest, as he kissed the top of her head. He caught his father, Sam, and Ashley over Rachel's head, watching them. All three had huge smiles. His heart settled. He'd made the right decision.

They danced to a few songs before pulling her by hand toward his father and the kids. Sam sprang toward him, and he lifted him up easily over his head, shaking him around, the little boy laughing out loud. Jed eyed Rachel playfully, as Tom gently put Sam down and tickled Ashley. His demeanor had changed suddenly, he was relaxed, as if he'd released a large burden from his shoulders.

"I now wish we'd put a bet on this," Jed laughed, bumping shoulders with the doctor. She blushed and shrugged.

"Yes, you would have won," she answered, catching his eyes. He raised his eyebrows at her admission, before breaking into a large smile. He waved to Slattery, who was just a few feet away. "Shall we celebrate?" he asked, grabbing two cups, and then Mike's flask. He poured the couple a shot each of the strong scotch, before giving Slattery a wink. Mike had witnessed the dance as well, slapped Tom on the shoulder as he made his way back toward Christine.

Mike was proud of his friend, as was his father. The glow about Rachel told them both that she was relaxed, at ease. She deserved it.

Rachel took her cup, as Tom took his. He finally felt all right having one small drink of the strong liquid, as long as she partook with him. Wrapping his arm around her waist, she rested her head on his shoulder. "Come with me," he said quietly, releasing her after a moment and pulling her away. The sun was about to set off the bow, and he wanted to see the incredible view with her in his arms.

They walked hand in hand quietly to the front of the ship, taking in the spectacular natural show. She leaned against him, watching the waves dance in the light of the setting sun.

"That was quite a move back there," she broke the silence, feeling a little brave from her few sips. His hand gripped her waist, turning her to face him.

"Figured it was better than making some announcement," he said lightly. In all honesty, it had been just what had needed to happen, he realized the perfect timing and he had to seize the moment.

She giggled, "Yes, I suppose," she agreed. After a beat she spoke again, "You're sure?" she needed the confirmation. He nodded immediately.

"Absolutely." He replied, his words confident. "This morning, while we were waiting for your results, I was fully prepared to have a baby with you in that moment, despite the odds and consequences. That in and of itself is how I feel. And you deserve more," He spoke earnestly, running his hand over her face. She leaned into his touch. On impulse, and because he'd been thinking about it since this morning, he leaned down and put his lips to hers, softly, lovingly.

She kissed him back, her heart racing. She felt so...happy. Again, for once, she could really just enjoy the moment. There was no where else to be, no where else to go. She could just be here, with him.

XXXX

Tom carried Sam back to their cabin over his shoulder, the boy laughing outright the whole time. Ashley ran in front of him, as Rachel brought up the rear. Corralling the kids had been a bit of a feat, but as it got later, it was time for them to calm down and get to bed. Tom had to catch Sam, and Ashley was still rambunctious, practically bouncing off the ship walls from all the sugar. They entered the cabin, and Tom set Sam down as Rachel shut the door.

"Alright you two, pajamas, brush your teeth, and bed. Now," he feigned a lack of patience, though his eyes twinkled. Ashley giggled as Sam mocked his father. Tom gave him a warning look before Rachel spoke up.

"The kids who go to bed as told will get to see Kara's baby on the ultrasound machine," she taunted them, offering up a bartering tool. Their eyes grew wide and they scurried to find their pajamas and brush their teeth. Tom shook his head, chuckling.

"Nicely done," he teased. She brushed a kiss against his cheek.

"I'll wait for you outside," she whispered, before stepping into the small bathroom, kissing both children on the head. "Goodnight, children," she watched them quickly, but thoroughly, brushing their teeth, both mumbling their goodnights. She stepped past Tom, taunting him with her eyes as she passed him.

Once the door was shut, both kids jumped into bed, pulling the covers up. "Hey Dad," Ashley began, looking at Sam with mischief. "How about how pretty she looked in her dress?"

"Who?" Tom asked, tucking the blankets around them. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Rachel, Dad," he said in a matter of fact tone. Tom gave them a questioning look.

"She looked beautiful," Tom said slowly, watching their reactions. They burst into a fit of giggles and he shook his head. "Alright you two, enough. Settle down."

"Are you going to gaze into each other's eyes like lovey people do?" Ashley clasped her hands under her chin, making eyes at the ceiling. Tom's face grew concerned, and his brow furrowed. Sam was doubled over in laughter, making 'eww' sounds.

"Where you get this stuff, I don't want to know. Seriously. It's late, guys," he made a mental note to not let them have as much sugar as they had today ever again.

"Daddy and Rachel sitting in a tree," they both began to sing, Tom glaring down at them playfully. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G-"

"I'm going to count to three. You two better settle down or else," he started, crossing his arms. When they continued to sing, he began to count down, though it did not deter their antics. When he got to three, and they were still singing, he climbed on the bed, tickling them into fits of hysterical laughter, until they were breathless and crying from their laughing. He removed his hands and stepped back, eyeing them. "Are you finished?" he asked as they heaved for air. Both, with smiles on their faces, nodded.

"Yes, Daddy," they answered in unison. Satisfied, he said his goodnights, kissing their foreheads and ensuring they were tucked in tightly.

"Love you both," he took in the view of them snuggled up under the covers, knowing soon they'd be too big for the double bed, and would need their own room, and bunks. But for right now, they took comfort in having the other around.

"Love you too," they both replied, closing their eyes. He shut off the light and stepped into the hallway, finding a laughing Rachel with her back against the wall. This time he rolled his eyes.

"Not you too," he replied in faux exasperation.

"It is funny to me that you can easily gain control of a destroyer full of over two hundred people, but those two children run circles around your attempts for control," she laughed, shaking her head.

"I think that's what keeps the balance in life," he replied, laughing with her.

"I think you're right," she replied, slowly stopping her laughter. She reached for his hand. "Are your ready to head back upstairs?"

"I was actually thinking we should head to your cabin," he replied, the tone of his voice changing, growing deeper. She raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, okay," she didn't mind his change in plans.

"Let me grab a few things and we'll head that way," he winked, stepping across the hallway to his own stateroom.

XXXX

Tom was a gentleman the entire time he and Rachel made their way down the p-way to her room. He allowed her through passageways first, even opened her door for her, setting his small bag of clothes down by the counter. But as soon as her door was shut and locked, he had her back up against it, his lips against hers, one hand on her hip, the other against the door.

She wasn't innocent in this. She'd been dying to get her hands on him since they'd danced. Consummating their now public relationship had been on her mind for quite some time this evening. And as his hands roughly handled her breasts through the thin material of the dress, she could tell by the groan against her lips, he was pleased to find she wasn't wearing anything underneath.

Her fingers found the buttons on his dress whites' jacket, and she began unbuttoning as quickly and gently as she could, despite her urge to get his clothing off. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin the beautiful uniform.

She slipped the jacket off his shoulders, and he carefully laid it over the end of her bed. Despite their urge and fire for one another, he was still a true commander with respect for the service he was in-ruining this suit was not an option. But as her hands gripped his hard length through his pants, he knew he better remove them quickly before they were ruined as well.

As if she read his mind, she unfastened the gold belt, unbuckling and unzipping the white pants. He pulled his white undershirt over his head, tossing in on the floor, before kicking off his shoes, sliding off his pants. He stood before her, his eyes dark, eating her still clothed body alive, and as her eyes took him in, she was very pleased by what she saw, and overwhelmed with a feeling that it was all hers.

She pushed his boxers down, allowing his erection to spring free from it's tight constraints. Before he could say anything, she dropped to her knees. She'd been wanting to do this to him since the first time she saw him naked, but the opportunity had not presented itself until now. But as he now stood naked before her, she wanted to please him. She gripped his length, felt him shudder under her hand as it gripped his thigh.

Rachel ran her tongue over the tip, tasting him for the first time. He groaned, his hand gently finding the top of her head and burying itself in her soft hair. She looked up at him, saw the way he was watching her, his blue eyes dark, full of want, and took just the head in her mouth, not breaking eye contact. A growl escaped his lips as she wrapped her lips around him, taking him fully in her mouth.

Tom's head fell back as he was overcome with the sensations of her mouth on him, moving up and down on him, confident and precise. Her tongue worked him all over, and he could easily feel he wouldn't last if he didn't concentrate on not finishing in her mouth. With everything he felt, he was trying hard not to.

She began moving her mouth quicker on him, her tongue finding the ridges and veins, knowing exactly where to rub to push him to his peak. Tom struggled, gripping her hair, torn between allowing himself to orgasm in her mouth, or burying himself inside her. With another hard groan, he pulled her head off of him, pulling her up to her feet.

"I wasn't finished," she softly whined, as he spun her around, pushing her front flush against the wall. He pressed his body against hers, lifting her dress up and over her round bottom.

"You will be in a minute," he teased, finding the pool of wetness between her thighs that he often found himself thinking about. He pushed her panties down, as she practically panted against the wall, her face turned, catching the hungry look he wore.

With her panties gone, he pushed her legs farther apart with his knees, not bothering with any foreplay. He found her warmth, pushing just the tip in. Rachel whimpered against the wall, gripping the metal under her fingers. It took all the strength he had to pull out, before pushing fully inside her, a sharp gasp releasing from her lips, as he moaned into her neck. He stilled his movements as long as he could, before pulling out, and thrusting back into her hard, pushing her into the wall. His hands gripped her hips, holding them still to create the friction he knew they both needed.

He nipped and licked along her neck as he thrust hard in and out, seeing how far he could push her. He knew, judging by the whimpers she was making and the way every few moments, she'd look back at him, her lusty gaze catching his eyes, that she was right where he wanted her.

Rachel couldn't tell where she ended and he began, and she was just fine with that. There was a gray line between pleasure and pain, and as he pushed himself hard into her with every thrust, urgent and concentrated, she was somewhere along that blurred line. Between the metal wall on her front and his warm and hard body at her back, the fact she was still wearing her dress and heels, and his relentless pursuit of her pleasure, she couldn't think or breathe. The feeling of him filling her and hearing the groans he let out against her skin was enough to render her incoherent much to everything else.

He sped up, pushing harder and faster, wondering for a brief moment if he was hurting her, waiting for the moan that told him he wasn't. He opened his eyes, leaning back to catch hers. Her lips were parted, her eyes partly open, her face flushed. She caught his eyes, biting her lip before whispering just what he needed to hear to spur him on. "More," she whispered, her eyes locked with his. He obliged, thrusting harder into her. Her mouth parted in a silent scream, as she clenched around him, trying to hold him deep within her. He buried his head in her neck as she rode out her orgasm, squirming against the wall, pushing her small behind back into him, drinking him up.

Rachel was about to protest when she felt him pull out, roughly turning her around and lifting her up, with her back against the wall. He re-entered her, sliding her down on him, feeling her shudder in his arms at the sudden heightened contact. He captured her lips, their tongues battling as he began to pound into her. Rachel dug her nails into his shoulders, the pain in her own forgotten. The shot of scotch in his blood had turned him into someone else, she decided, as she felt her next orgasm quickly approaching. She leaned back against the wall, panting, needing air, the world spinning. Tom watched her, but never slowed down. She tipped her head forward, pulling him closer with one arm, biting his lip this time. "Come with me," she commanded, her voice hoarse and out of breath.

He grinned, knowing he was just about there, "You first," he growled, pulling her on him deeper. Her gasp told him he'd hit the right spot, and she flooded him, clenching and vibrating around his length. He couldn't hold off any longer, burying his head in her shoulder and emptying himself inside her. He held her up against the wall, not moving as they both came down off their high. Trying to catch his breath, he lifted his head up, catching the completely sated look on her beautifully flushed face, her hair wild from their activities, her lips still parted in a seemingly permanent sigh.

"Wow," she managed out, still breathing heavily. He blushed.

"Yeah?" he whispered, placing delicate kisses along her neck, giving his male pride a pat on the back.

"Oh yes!" she confirmed with a satisfied sigh. She brought his lips to hers, caressing his neck as her lips caressed his. He slowly pulled himself out and gently set her down on her feet, supporting her until she was steady on her feet. She released his lips, looking down at the wrinkled black dress. They both laughed a little before she pulled it over her head, tossing it to the side. He eyed her, his expression unsure.

"We're going to have to wait a few before I can go again," he warned, despite his hands finding her beautiful, bare breasts. She shivered under his touch, arching into him.

"That wasn't my intention but since you're doing that," she moaned, reaching for his semi-hard member. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her toward the tiny bed with a chuckle.

"We're going to need to upgrade this sleeping situation soon." he quipped, allowing her to climb in before he did, wrapping his arms around her under the covers.

She snuggled into his chest, his finger lazily drawing circles around her nipple. "Tom," she sighed, her tone an attempt at a warning. He smirked against her ear.

"I'm sorry, I just can't seem to get enough of you," he whispered, his voice husky again. She laughed fully this time, taking inventory of the skin on skin contact she felt all along her body. "Are you _really_ ready for sleep?" he asked against her neck.

* * *

**Please drop a line and let me know how you liked this chapter! The reviews are what keep me writing and updating! Even just a few words goes a long way.

You can expect some delicious fluff in the next chapter. You guys hung in there through the hard stuff, you deserve it! Thank you for reading!

Thanks again to Joys for proofreading!**


	34. Chapter 31

Chapter 21

Tom could feel every bit of her body against him, as he roused from sleep. Her back was against his chest, their legs intertwined, his right arm under her pillow, fingers interlaced with hers, his left arm around her waist. Her hair was close to his nose, as he inhaled the sweet scent of her shampoo and hair spray from yesterday.

He snuggled his face deeper into her neck, pulling her as close as possible. With her nude body against his, it was hard not to become aroused once more. They'd made love into the early morning hours-he suspected they'd only gotten a few hours of sleep. He didn't mind though. It had been a long time since he'd enjoyed being with a woman all night, learning her body, memorizing every inch. He was addicted.

Rachel could feel him shift behind her, feel every bit of him from his chest down to his toes. His nose was nuzzled in her neck, his hard length pressing into her behind. She smiled through her sleepiness, thrusting her ass gently back against him, eliciting a deep groan from his lips. She felt him latch his lips onto her neck. She giggled, snuggling closer to him.

Tom wrapped his left arm tighter around her, thrusting subtly against her. "Good morning," he whispered against her ear.

She grinned. He'd spent the whole night with to her, holding her wrapped in his arms. It was like a dream. "Good morning," she echoed, her relaxed state evident in her tone. "I'm hungry," she playfully whined into the pillow. A devilish grin appeared on his lips.

"Are you?" he moaned into her neck, reaching down to move himself closer to her warm center. Rachel laughed again.

"Not that kind of hungry, the kind that involves real food," her stomach growled softly for effect and this time Tom laughed.

"Ohh, I see what you really want," she rolled over in his arms to face him, taking in his sleepy eyes and tousled hair. She ran a hand down his cheek, cupping his handsome face.

"Feed me and you can have anything you want after," she incentivized. He raised his eyebrows in acceptance and smiled.

"Anything?" He questioned. She nodded, her eyes darkening.

"Anything." she solidified, her eyes telling him she meant it. He kissed her forehead before standing, turning on the light, grabbing his small bag and dressing in the casual navy issued sweatpants, tee shirt, and sneakers he'd brought with them. She watched him dress from where she lay, snuggled up in the spot he'd slept in all night, basking in the warmth it provided her. She marvelled in his strong back as he dressed, catching his baby blues as he turned around. He smiled sweetly down at her.

"I'll be back shortly," he bent down, kissing her lips lightly, knowing if he kissed her any longer, he'd never leave.

"Mmm," she moaned into the kiss. "I look forward to it."

Tom pointed at her playfully, "Don't you dare get up or put clothes on. I expect you just as you are when I return."

"Yes, sir," She replied, pulling the blanket down just a little, as if unintentionally, revealing a bare breast. Tom gave her a hungry stare before pulling open the door enough for him to exit, and shutting it behind him. Rachel stared at the top bunk and for the first time in such a very long time, she felt giddy.

XXXX

Tom once again found his sister in his chair in the ward room, munching on toast, drinking coffee, and reading a medical journal. This time though, she looked a bit under the weather.

"Fancy meeting you here again," he teased, moving to the counter to grab food and tea for Rachel.

"Mmm," was all she replied with. He looked at her over his shoulder.

"Rough night?" he kidded. She groaned.

"I attempted to drink Tex under the table," she began, putting the journal down, "Needless to say, he won."

Tom let out a hearty laugh, this time turning around to take in his sister's full appearance. Her hair piled on her head, her makeup from yesterday's activities looking a bit amiss, the baggy t-shirt she wore...his eyes widened.

"Jenny…" he began, giving her his best fatherly look. His sister let out a laugh, covering the grin on her face.

"What?" She retorted, all sass. "Nothing happened," she scoffed at her brother. Tom raised his eyebrows.

"Oh really?" he pulled a few items off the line for Rachel, as well as himself, while waiting for her tea to steep.

"What do you take me for?" she chastised, crossing her arms like a child. He laughed as he peered at her. That's the sister he so fondly remembered.

"I'll kick his ass if he hurts you," Tom threatened. Jenny rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, Thomas," she replied rudely.

"Jimmy is a good marksman, I can easily have him show you again how good he is," Tom added, filling up the tray.

"Exactly where are you going with all that food?" Jenny grilled in return, as Tom headed for the door. He winked at his baby sister.

"What do you take me for?" he repeated, before retreating out the door, letting it swing shut behind him. He grinned as he walked down the p-way, passing a few sailors who acknowledged him. He clearly had more food than for just one, and was not going in the direction of his cabin. He knew what they were thinking. And he really didn't mind.

He pushed open her door, and to his pleasure, found her just as he'd left her, if not in a better position. She'd fallen back asleep it seemed, one hand on her breast, the other on the pillow by her head, her finger wrapped around a tendril of her hair. Tom gently set down the tray on her small vanity and carried a warm muffin over to her. He knelt down by the bed, nipping at her small pink bud, swirling his tongue around. She rolls her head to the side with a moan, her eyes slowly opening.

She'd just been falling back asleep when she'd felt his lips. When she opened her eyes, all that filled her eyesight was a delicious looking blueberry muffin. She grinned immediately.

"Hello again," she stretched like a cat, the sheet falling to her waist as her legs stretched out. Tom licked his lips.

"If you don't cover yourself up, you won't get any food," he practically growled, his eyes darkening a few shades. She pulled the sheet up, laughing.

"Easy, Captain," she teased, moving to a sitting position. He dropped his eyes with a smile, standing. "You feed me, you get me, fair?" she took the muffin from him, not bothering to wait before biting into it. He laughed at her ambitious behavior.

"Well, it's a good thing I brought a lot of food to keep your strength up," he chuckled, before placing the tray on the bed, and climbing in next to her, laying on his side, his socked feet by her head, the tray between them. She sat crosslegged on the bed, munching on the muffin.

"Thank you for this delicious spread," she said, thankful for the food, and for the company. She even saw the tea he had brought her. This man was turning her into a mushy Hallmark card.

"Anything for you," he replied, biting into a piece of bacon. They ate in companionable silence for a few moments, before Rachel spoke, her eyes trained on the cup of tea.

"When I came back to the ship wounded, what did you think?" she had to ask, what Jenny had said two days ago had been weighing heavily on her. Now that things were out in the open, she wanted to hear the words from him.

"What did I think?" Tom repeated, surveying the suddenly thoughtful woman before him. He took a moment to gather his thoughts. "I was terrified," he paused, looking up at her, "that I'd lose you, after I'd already lost so much."

"Did you really barely leave my side?" she thought she should just get to the point. She watched his eyes widen a little.

"Who told you that?" he laughed, knowing the answer, but wanting to hear her source.

"Your sister," she brushed her hair behind her ear, her cheeks pink.

"Well, your source is reliable," he replied, eating some of his toast. "She also wouldn't let me stay with you while they treated your gunshot wound," his tone was almost regretful. She looked up, trying to read his expression.

"She said that too," Rachel added. He leaned back, gazing up at her. He sighed a little.

"No one told me you were hurt until I saw you in the basket on the flight deck. Not to mention, you were practically dead by that time. How I felt in that moment….," he seemed to bite back emotion, "I really thought I had lost you. And with the way we left things…," Tom struggled to find the words. He caught her darker eyes, "I should have told you how I felt before you left the Nathan James. I'm sorry I didn't."

Rachel reached forward, running her hand across his cheek, feeling his stubble under her fingers. "Tom, I was upset at that time, but looking back, I wouldn't change a thing," she seemed to think about that statement for a moment, "except getting shot," she laughed, looking at her still healing wound. Tom chuckled.

"Yes, I would change that too," he agreed. "And yes, I sat by your bedside. And I held your hand. And I prayed you'd be alright," Tom confessed, the words flowing out.

"I remember you being there, in sickbay, but it's all very foggy," Rachel explained, "I remember waking up for the first time, you holding my hand. I was so afraid," she ate some of her breakfast, despite their serious conversation.

"I was, as well," Tom rubbed his thumb over her knee, through the sheet.

"There's something else we should probably talk…" Rachel drifted off, chewing on some bacon. Tom looked up, his eyes questioning.

"Something else?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You do realize I'll need to test myself again soon, right? To find out if I'm pregnant or not," Rachel confessed.

"You mean because of timing?" He honestly hadn't thought about it.

She nodded, "Yes. The test I took yesterday was for the first two times," her cheeks flushed, her mind drifting back to all the times they'd enjoyed one another. "You're sure there's no protection on this ship? Anywhere?" Her eyes looked almost hopeful.

"This type of behavior was forbidden, remember? So no, we definitely don't have any protection," Tom explained with a laugh. Rachel chewed her lip.

"Well, that's something you should prepare yourself for then," she replied, half-kiddingly. They both knew it was a reality though, if they were going to continue engaging this way. But as he watched her lips sip her tea, he couldn't wait to kiss them once more.

"We'll take it as it comes," he replied sweetly, putting the tray back on the counter, before taking her tea away as well. He then pulled his shirt off and dropped his pants, climbing back into the warm bed with her. "Are you full?" Tom asked, pulling her down to lay beside him. She stretched her arms over her head.

"Yes, I am. Thank you for breakfast," she smiled as he climbed on top of her, laying his body flush with hers, reaching his hands up to grasp hers, before kissing her deeply, their tongues battling. She could feel him grow hard against her lower abdomen, felt the feeling of want begin all over again. "Tom," she gasped as he spread her knees with his own.

"What?" he replied, whispering against her lips.

"I'm hungry for you now," she gave him a devilish grin. He obliged, pushing himself inside her without warning, her back arching up, a loud moan escaping her lips.

"Good," he attacked her neck with his lips, making love to her deeply and slowly, driving her mad.

XXXX

It was quite a few hours later before they emerged from Rachel's room. She had promised the newlyweds they would find out the gender of the baby, and they'd been kind enough to allow all the children to be present. Tom went one way to gather the children, while Rachel went on to medical to set up the machine.

Kara and Danny showed up a few minutes later, followed by four very excited children. Tom corralled them in the small room, all of them giggling. Tom caught Rachel's eyes over their heads, his eyes soft and kind. Her heart fluttered and for a brief moment she wondered if, or when, this would ever be them.

"Alright, are we ready to find out what gender your baby is?" Rachel asked the happy couple. Kara nodded excitedly.

"So ready!"

"Great. This might be cold," she put some of the jelly on Kara's exposed belly, before putting the wand on her skin. After a few moments the quick heartbeat filled the room, as the picture showed up on the screen. The children were in awe. "There's the head," Rachel pointed to the screen, "And the hands," she moved the wand on around on Kara's stomach, looking for the indication of the sex. A big smile broke across her face and she turned to Kara and Danny. "Do you want to guess?" She asked, the smile stuck on her lips. Kara grinned.

"No, just tell us." she replied, her excitement too much to bear. Rachel looked to the kids.

"Sam, you're getting your wish," she announced. Sam's eyes lit up.

"It's a boy?" he exclaimed, clapping his hands. Rachel nodded.

"Yes, it is!" She turned to Kara and Danny. "Looks like you're growing a healthy baby boy in there," she told them, printing the photo for them. She again caught Tom's eyes, and found so much love there, her heart swelled.

The kids chatted amongst themselves before running off to tell Mike's daughters. Tom walked up to Danny, shaking his hand in congratulations, while Kara and Rachel chatted about her health.

"As we get closer to your due date, we'll talk more about the delivery and options," Rachel explained, wiping off Kara's stomach, before pulling her shirt down and turning off the machine. She handed Kara the picture. "And there's your sweet boy," they gazed at the picture together, and Rachel felt almost envious of the younger woman. She was still enjoying the newfound haze of Tom Chandler's affection though, and still had two beautiful children to get to know better.

"Thank you for everything, Rachel. Really!" the women embraced before Danny and Kara went on their way to show everyone their tiny baby boy. Tom waited with Rachel while she cleaned up the room.

"I still can't believe we're going to have an infant on this ship," Tom sighed, shaking his head.

"Well, he'll be here soon enough so you better get used to it," Rachel laughed at his stressed comment. "Besides, there's bound to be more than one," she added. He sighed heavily.

"We may need to make home on shore somewhere," he verbally considered, leaning against the wall. She walked toward him, putting her arms around his waist, taking a moment for a little intimacy.

"What about the coziness of your ship, Captain Chandler?" Rachel giggled into his neck. He chuckled as it tickled, wrapping his arms around her, holding her against him. He was getting used to this-the feeling of her in his arms.

"I can only deal with your small bed for so long," he retorted, kissing along her neck. She tried to push him away, as his scruff tickled her sensitive skin. She found it interesting he hadn't bothered to shave today, it was so very unlike him. She found it sexy, however.

"Maybe we should move your bed to my room," she playfully considered. He laughed.

"Because that wouldn't look suspect," he replied against the cheek, kissing along her cheekbone.

"You be careful or I'll have to take you back to bed," she spoke in a mock threatening tone, reaching her hand down to rub him through his thick BDUs. He shuddered against her, sighing in her hair.

"Rachel, don't make me take you against this examination bed," he pushed himself against her hand, and she rubbed a little harder.

"I wouldn't mind that, I think."

"Do you have any idea the things you do to me?" he practically growled into her ear. As if on cue, she stepped back from his embrace, raising an eyebrow, crossing her arms. She surveyed the flushed-face man before her.

"I have some idea," she replied, before pulling open the door to sickbay.

"Rach," he whined as she pulled him out.

"Come on, we've got kids to entertain," she was surprised when he grabbed her hand, squeezing it.

"But later?" he asked, his eyes hopeful. She threw her head back in laughter.

"Yes, later," she confirmed.

XXXX

"So Dad," Ashley began, throwing herself onto their bed after changing into their PJs hours later. They had eaten dinner and watched a movie with their father while Rachel had done some necessary work in the lab. Now, as their bedtime approached, they had indulged in some leftover cake from the wedding, and were settling down. Tom playfully tossed Sam on the bed, tickling him.

"Yes, Ash?"

"Were you and Mom ever going to have another baby?" She asked curiously. He knew the kids had been fascinated by the ultrasound, had been talking about it all day, but he was surprised by her question. He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"No," he replied after a thoughtful moment, "We were happy with the two we had," he ruffled Sam's hair for effect with a grin.

"Do you think you will ever get married again?" Sam asked curiously. Tom considered the question carefully.

"I'm not sure, buddy. It might be too soon to know that," he explained, alternating looking between his kids.

"What about Rachel? You like her, right?" Ashley asked. Tom nodded carefully.

"I do, very much. But I'm not rushing into anything, especially because I need to look out for you two."

"Dad, we'll be fine. You need to be happy too," Ashley reasoned with her father, climbing closer to hug him. He wrapped his arms around her, embracing her tightly. Sam joined in, hugging his father's neck.

"I will always worry about you two and your happiness first and foremost," he explained, holding them secure. He felt very blessed in this moment, to have two such incredible children. They all sat together, embraced, for a few long moments, before the kids slowly let go, climbing into bed. He said his goodnights, kissing their foreheads, before stepping out into the hallway. His father ambled down the hallway toward him, so he loitered for a moment.

"Hey Pops," he greeted his father, shoving his hands in his pockets. Jed regarded his son, sliding his reading glasses off.

"Hey there, Thomas," he smiled, "Tucked the kids in?"

"Yeah. You can sit in my room if you like," he offered, pushing the door open. "I need to grab a few things anyway," he added, stepping to his closet. Jed made himself comfortable on the sofa.

"Heading down to Rachel's?" Jed asked, wondering if Tom would willingly admit it.

"I am," Tom confirmed. Jed's smile grew.

"Good," he watched his son gather a few items, sliding them into a small bag. "Must be nice, not having to keep secrets." Tom paused for a moment at his father's words.

"It is," Tom answered simply. Because it was nice. "The kids don't know I'm staying there though," he explained, looking to his father for understanding. Jed nodded.

"That secret is still safe with me, and that's one you should probably keep a while longer," Jed advised. Tom nodded.

"Agreed. Thanks, Dad," he slapped his father on the shoulder before heading for the door, "You need anything from me?" He paused, hand on the knob, looking back at his father. Jed shook his head with a grin.

"No, sir. Go enjoy your evening."

Tom stepped into the hallway, stepping into Mike's path. Surprisingly he hadn't seen his XO all day, and judging by the bags under his eyes, that had been on purpose.

"Mike! How's your day been?" he took in Mike's tired appearance, and knew it had probably been a rougher one.

"Let's just say scotch and a 6am wakeup call are two things that shouldn't be mixed together," the commander sighed. Tom chuckled.

"And how many cigars did you smoke? Four?" Tom teased. Mike rolled his eyes.

"Two too many," he shook his head, "I'm retiring for the evening," he glanced down at the small bag in Tom's hands, "I see you're just getting started…?"

"No," Tom laughed, shaking his head, "I'm heading down to Rachel's if you need anything," he spoke with words hushed, not wanting the children to hear. Mike nodded, a sly smile on his face, lighting up his tired eyes.

"Well, Captain, have a good evening then," he winked at his friend, as they stepped past each other, heading in their opposite directions.

Tom felt relaxed as he walked the long halls of the large ship. He felt solid in his decision, it seemed no one disagreed. And as he pushed open Rachel's door to find her sound asleep curled up under the covers, looking as adorable as ever, he smiled to himself. He definitely was glad he'd made this decision.

Stripping down to a t-shirt and boxers, and slid in beside her petite body, realizing she probably needed sleep after their long night and long day. He hadn't exactly been letting her get much, he laughed to himself. He pulled her close and she melted into him, as if she'd been waiting for his arrival. "I love you," he whispered against her ear, watching the faint smile curl up on her sleeping lips.

"Love you," she mumbled back, her voice barely audible. He relaxed into the pillow, feeling whole for the first time in a long time.

XXXXX

As always, leaving a line with your thoughts makes my day! Please let me know how you're liking the story! :) Thank you for reading! XO


	35. Chapter 32

The sand under her toes, the sun on her face, Rachel felt incredible. She leaned back on her elbows on the towel, watching Tom play with all four children in the water. She had to admire his way around children. He was kind, gentle, funny and playful. She watched him throwing them each into deeper water, the muscles in his back and arms rippling under his skin with each toss. The children squealed with laughter, constantly begging him for one of them to be next. Even Sarah, the youngest, got in on the fun, and Rachel noticed how Tom was gentler with her than the older three. He was a good man, she thought to herself.

Kara had been kind enough to let her borrow one of her bathing suits so they could spend an afternoon and evening playing in the sand. Many of the sailors had joined them on the island, enjoying some R&amp;R. Tom had worked half the day, before being relieved by Mike to spend the afternoon with Rachel and the children. The galley had packed them sandwiches for their adventure ashore, and they'd eaten lunch before taking a walk. Inevitably the kids had ended up chasing each other into the ocean, Tom not far behind. She enjoyed seeing him in this light.

"Rachel!" Ashley called out to her after some time, rousing her from her thoughts. She stood, making her way to the edge of the water. Dipping her toes in the shallow waves, she shivered, backing up onto the sand.

"Yes, darling?" Rachel called, shading her eyes with her hand, watching them bobbing out in the waves.

"Come in! The water's great!" Ashley ducked under the water, doing a handstand, her little feet barely above the surface. Rachel laughed.

"I'm good, thank you though, sweetie," she called in response. Tom waded toward her, the water droplets shimmering on his chest in the sunlight. He grinned at her, and she backed up a little, suspecting he wasn't coming toward her for a kiss. "Don't come any closer," she teased.

"You should really come in, the water feels fantastic," he encouraged, getting closer to her. She backed up further, shaking her head.

"No, Tom! It's cold," she jogged a little out of the way as he stepped on dry sand, his strides too long for her. "Tom, don't!" she laughed, trying to dodge him. She could hear the kids laughing too, cheering Tom on in his endeavor. She attempted to run back past him, but she was no match for his speed and agility, as he scooped her up, carrying her by the waist into the water. She pushed at his hands, trying to get free, laughing the whole time. The kids clapped as Tom easily tossed her into the water. She fell under the surface, before swimming straight up, pushing her hair out of her face, throwing a playful glare in his direction.

Tom admired her flushed cheeks and her aggravated look she was giving him. He thought she looked adorable. She swam toward him and he easily embraced her in his arms. He waded them a little deeper, until the water rested right at his shoulders and he kissed her, taking in the saltiness on her lips from the ocean. She wrapped her legs around his wide waist, her arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders. She leaned into the kiss, her tongue exploring his mouth, before he pulled back slightly. "Careful," he whispered against her lips, a smile tugging at his lips. He could hear the kids giggling behind her.

"Sorry," she chuckled, "You're the one who threw me out here," she added, running her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. His grey hair was spiked in the front from the water, a look she never saw, and she found it made him look younger.

"Touche'," he kissed her nose before moving them closer to shore, her legs dropping from his hips. She missed the warmth of his chest against hers.

She headed back to the sand, Tom following. The kids continued to play in the water, moving closer to shore for their safety. Rachel collapsed down on her towel, basking in the sun, as Tom dropped down beside her, his eyes roaming to the children every few moments, laying on his side facing Rachel. His hand splayed across her flat stomach.

His hand sent fireworks through her system. She turned her head, peering up at him. "You're an amazing father," she complimented. He smiled, a flush appearing in his cheeks.

"Well, my father taught me well," he replied, watching the kids play a game of make believe. "You're great with them," he complimented her. She laughed a little.

"My father also taught me well. And they're wonderful children. All of them. It's not hard to love them. I've known Ava since she was 3, she's always been precious. Jenny is doing a wonderful job raising Sarah, and your brother is a fantastic uncle to them all. And well, your children are just darling. I'm slightly jealous they're not my own," she added the last part playfully, running her hand down his cheek, taking in the smoothness of his skin. The look he was giving her would be described as tender, loving. It made her knees weak, and she felt like they were the only two people in the world.

"They're practically yours," his voice was raspy as he moved his hand from her stomach to cup her cheek.

"It feels that way at moments."

"They care about you, talk about you all the time." Rachel knew they cared about her, could tell it in their voices when they talked to her, but hearing Tom say it solidified it. It felt incredible. She'd never held a child's love, never loved a child as much as she loved those two. She adored Ava, but it wasn't the same love. These two felt like her everything. "Do you want children?" Tom risked the question, trying to read her expression.

"Your children?" she questioned his meaning, "I would embrace them as my own, you know that."

"I do. And thank you," he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I mean, children of your own. I know the test came back negative two days ago, and I don't know what the future holds, but is that something you want?" He checked on the kids as he asked the question.

She contemplated his words. "I never thought that would be something I could have. I have always been so focused. Tom, I've barely had a real, serious relationship. A family? That is the last thing I thought I'd have," she explained. "To answer your question, though, yes. Yes, I would like children of my own. Or maybe just one." She answered honestly, wondered what she had to lose. Most of the reason she wanted children of her own was because of him, and his beautiful children. She looked up, trying to read his expression in return. "Do you want more children?"

He was silent a moment, contemplating. "At 42, I'm slightly older to be having a baby, but if it was the right time, or with the right person," he cupped her cheek, running his thumb over her lips, "I would definitely have a baby." He meant his words, had been thinking about it since the children asked him. He hadn't wanted anymore originally, but now, it didn't seem like such a stretch. Her scare had first introduced the thought into his mind, and the kids cemented it there.

"Well, it sounds like we're on the same page," she replied with a smile. Her heart was at ease. This was good. They were talking things through. She enjoyed their openness, their line of communication.

"We are," he leaned down and kissed her, hearing the children chime their 'ewwws' from several feet away. They separated, laughing. "Oh hush," he teased them, waving his hand at them.

XXXX

They enjoyed the rest of the afternoon in the sun, the kids only coming out of the water as the sun went down. Tom took them back to the ship to change, before bringing them back for the evening cook-out.

Some cooks from the galley came to the island later that day to grill over a fire for the sailors. They left a skeleton crew aboard ship, in shifts, letting everyone enjoy the holiday celebrations. Many of them partook in the activities, decorating some of the smaller trees and bushes with homemade decorations. Tom had promised Sam a Christmas tree, and he delivered. It was unconventional, but the kids were having a wonderful time, decorating tree after tree with gingerbread cookies handmade by a few of the cooks, along with strings of popcorn and other random shiny items Chung had found on board. It was a gift to the children from the whole crew, and Tom was incredibly grateful.

And of course, what would one of these crew parties be without music and dancing? They'd brought a portable speaker to the beach, and crewmembers took turn playing their supply of holiday music. It was a week until Christmas, and everyone was in the spirit.

Rachel had slid a cotton dress over the bathing suit, and Tom thought she look gorgeous in the relaxed outfit. He watched her help the children make the popcorn strings, as he chatted with Mike and Christine by the fire.

"Well, someone is smitten," Christine pulled his attention away from Rachel with a slap on the arm. He raised his eyebrows, looking back at his friend's wife. She had a smirk on her pretty face.

"I'm sorry?" He hadn't heard her. He had been distracted.

"You've got it bad. How long have you been seeing the woman? A day?" Christine exclaimed, laughing at Tom's reaction. His cheeks turned a little red, and Mike coughed uncomfortably. Christine raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "Thomas…what kind of trouble have you been getting into?" Her tone carried that motherly sternness, and Tom shrugged innocently.

"No trouble," he started before Mike gave him a dubious expression.

"Tom and Rachel have been beating around this bush a while now," Mike explained, as Tom gave him an annoyed look.

"Not that long," he defended himself.

"Long enough to piss her off to the point she won't talk to you."

"Well, that doesn't take much with her."

"I'll tell her you said that," the friends bantered back and forth, Christine laughing heartily.

"Regardless, how long have you been seeing her? Publicly or privately." Christine was genuinely curiously.

"Seeing her is a strong term. I'm not sure what exactly it was we were doing…" he drifted off, his eyes finding her again. He loved when she wore her hair down.

"Sleeping together" Mike said through coughs. Christine gave him a surprised look.

"Wow, Tom. Didn't know that was your style." she commented with a chuckled. He rolled his eyes at Mike.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he replied with an fake sharp tone. Mike laughed, content with pissing off his friend.

"Regardless," Christine held her hands up at the seemingly juvenile friends, "You really like her, huh?"

"I do," he replied, solidly with a nod.

"That's sweet. I'm glad. She's great with all the kids. Even my girls adore her," Hannah and Tiffany were helping decorate the trees as well, and were having a wonderful time.

"Yeah, she's fantastic," Tom's tone was one full of love, full of respect as he watched her, his hands now shoved in the pocket of his jeans, his barefeet settled deep in the sand, his button down shirt rolled up to his elbows. She was fantastic. He walked away from his friends to wrap his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. He cupped her cheek, laughingly telling her what Mike and Christine had said before placing his lips on hers. Mike and Christine watched their exchange, and they could both easily tell she was just as enthralled in him as he was in her.

Rachel melted into him, her hands resting on his hips as he released her lips from his. "You're going to have to stop doing that," she mumbled, her eyes dancing between his lips and his eyes. He smirked.

"Doing what?" he whispered, his eyes a deep ocean blue, searching hers. Sam interrupted them then, grabbing his father's hand off Rachel's back, and then grabbing Rachel's. They both looked down at the adorable boy.

"Come on! We're going to sing!" He excitedly said, pulling them away from one another and toward the group of sailors who were getting ready to carol. The pair shared a sweet, content look as they followed Sam to the group. Tom wrapped his arm around Rachel's shoulders, pulling her close as everyone began to sing an a capella version of Oh Holy Night. Mike and Christine found their place next to Tom and Rachel. It was a touching scene, almost his entire crew coming together to sing Christmas carols together. After all they'd been through this year, it was poignant.

They danced and sang into the night. The food was delicious, they ate local seafood they had caught while anchored off the island, along with some conventional options such as hotdogs.

The children slowly became tired and Jed kindly offered to take them back to the ship to tuck them in. "Goodnight, Dad," Sam wrapped his arms around Tom's waist while Ashley did the same to Rachel. They caught eyes over the children's heads. They really were becoming quite the little family. Rachel felt so happy, so loved, she could burst. She'd never experienced such a love, such a feeling of belonging. But even back in September, when all hell had broken loose, and he'd done everything he could to protect her, she'd felt like she'd belonged to something. And now, being _with_ him, and the children, just created a feeling of pure and utter sense of inclusion for her. She was a part of something real, something profound. A family. She'd never thought she'd have one. And now she did.

Tom kissed their foreheads, taking a moment to look at each of them, realizing how much they were growing, how much they were thriving despite their circumstances. He knew he owed a lot of it to the woman beside him who had saved their lives. If she hadn't created the vaccine, he wouldn't have either of them. And now she cared for them as if they were her own. He felt so blessed. He said a silent thank you to a higher power, before embracing the both tightly one more time, then sending them off to bed.

Jed scurried the children off, leaving Tom and Rachel behind once more, as they had once before. The couple stood there, watching the RhIB make it back to the ship. Tom grasped her hand, turning to face her.

"Want to take a walk?" he suggested, "Like old times?" he added with lopsided grin.

"Sure," she replied with a smile, "as long as this time you don't tell me you're sorry for kissing me." her response was full of sass, and he laughed, his eyes downcast, his cheeks flushing.

"Fair enough," he squeezed her hand as they walked in silence. It felt nice to just walk with her, to just be able to hold her hand and not have to worry about who would see. He still wasn't used to that. "Want to know something?" he broke the silence, squeezing her hand again.

She peered up at him, enjoying the sand below her feet, and the moon on the horizon. "Sure."

"I was never sorry for kissing you," he confessed softly, his eyes trained ahead of them. "I lied. I thought it was what I was supposed to say in the moment." Tom chanced a glance at her, taking in her expression.

Rachel chewed her lip. "Well, you were awful convincing," she appreciated his confession, it changed some things. "Why did you think it was the right thing to say?" she asked curiously.

"Because I had forcefully kissed you in a heated moment. That didn't seem appropriate," he paused, with a bit of a chuckle, "_then_," Tom finished with a wink at her.

"You can forcefully kiss me anytime you want now," she replied, bumping her hip into his with a grin.

"Good to know," he replied, dropping her hand to wrap his arm around her shoulders. Her arm slipped around his broad waist. She enjoyed the way she fit against him, like she was molded just for him.

"I shouldn't have let you apologize for it. But then again, I shouldn't have kissed you in the ward room, either. I thought you were paying me back for running away."

"Ahh yes, the kiss in the ward room," he said it as though he'd had to dig it up from memory. In reality, he'd thought about that kiss more than he'd thought about their kiss on the Vyneri. "Quite a road we've taken to get here."

"You can say that again," she laughed, leaning her head into him as he turned them around, heading back toward the large fire.

"Rachel," he stopped her after a few moments of silence, turning her to face him, he pushed a few strands of her loose hair from her face, studying her features.

"Hmm," she had closed her eyes at his touch, but she opened them to find his azure eyes drinking her in.

"I am so lucky to have found you," the words were said so softly she wasn't even sure he said them, but the warmth that instantly spread through her chest told her he had in fact spoken.

"to have found _each other_," she amended with a soft grin. He nodded, cupping her cheek with one hand.

"You are beautiful," he complimented in a whisper, his thumb caressing her cheek bone. The sounds of the wind, and the waves disappeared from her mind as she found herself lost in his eyes, nothing around them existing. Something about the way this man looked at her made her feel like nothing else in the world mattered, that it was just the two of them. "Baby, I love you," he dipped his head, his lips finding hers, not letting her respond, not needing her too. He knew how she felt, and it was evident in the loving way she responded with her lips. He pulled back after a long moment of losing himself against her. He opened his eyes to find hers still closed, her lips still parted, as if she was soaking in the afterglow of the kiss.

He had this way of stealing the air out of her soul, and then breathing new life back into her. His kisses were like nothing she'd ever experienced. And every one was just as good as the one before. She opened his eyes and found him staring down at her, found his intense gaze almost unnerving. She smiled, "I love you, Tom." A large smile lit up his face then, and he kissed the tip of her little nose.

"Come on," he muttered, clasping her hand and leading her back toward the fire. They settled down by the fire with some of the sailors, chatting with them before the group began to shrink, eventually leaving just Tom and Rachel, who had no desire to head back to the ship. This didn't happen often for any of them, and these two were definitely not going to miss this opportunity.

Tom laid down one of the many blankets they'd brought over from the ship for the party, encouraging her to sit. He sat behind her, as she stretched her legs out, leaning into his chest, relishing in the warmth his strong arms gave her. He had stoked the fire to keep it roaring, keeping them warm enough in the darkness.

"This is nice," Rachel leaned her head back on his shoulder, taking in the fire, and the feeling of his breath on her cheek. He turned to look at her, a smile on his face.

"It is nice," Tom agreed, before capturing her lips again. The kiss started out fluffy and light, almost like they were testing the waters for the first time, before she deepened it. He grinned against her lips, twisting his body to lean her back over his thigh, before gently placing her back on the ground. She adjusted easily, as he moved to lay on his side, hovering over her as he kissed her intently. She slid her fingers through his soft grey hair, relishing in the feel under her fingertips, as his hand found her hip. He pulled the cotton dress up, his hand finding her soft skin underneath, fingers sinking into her skin. After a moment, he slid his fingertips up her side, grazing her soft skin. She began to laugh against his lips, squirming underneath him. He grinned, leaning back, realizing then that she was ticklish. "Wait a minute," he pulled his hand away under the dress, still leaving it under the fabric but not touching her. She relaxed under him. "Are you ticklish?" he asked, and she could see the devilish glow in his eyes.

"Thomas Chandler, don't you dare," she used her best warning tone, her hands moving down into a defensive position as he shifted a little higher up on his elbow.

"But this is something new for me to explore," he replied impishly, his fingers running over her new skin, causing a shriek and more laughter. She pushed against his strong chest to no avail, bringing her legs up.

"Tom, stop!" she tried to catch her breath as he pulled his hand back again. She heaved under him on the sand, her hair wild from her squirming, her cheeks flushed from the laughter. He thought she looked gorgeous. But he wasn't done torturing her yet.

"Where else are you ticklish?" He shifted to kneel before her and she knew she wouldn't win this battle. Her knees came up, her hands out in front of her, ready to defend herself. He chuckled at her, reached down to pinch her rear through the bathing suit bottom, causing another squeal and a look of disapproval.

"Oh shush, you like it," he teased, grabbing her ankle.

"I most definitely do not, Captain Chandler," She tried to pull her foot away but his grasp was too strong and she could barely move her leg away.

"Yes, you do. At least you did this morning," his devilish grin only grew as he ran his fingers up the bottom of her foot, holding her foot steady as she tried to yank it away.

"If I recall, pinching was not involved this morning," she raised an eyebrow, trying to keep from laughing at the sensation.

"Well, I improvised on the pinch. Your ass is just too cute."

"I'm going to kick you so hard in the chest," she threatened, trying to yank her foot away more. He just laughed whole-heartedly, releasing her foot.

"Clearly your feet are not as ticklish as your sides," he leaned forward, his hands moving to her sides.

"Tom, I'm telling you. I will defend myself," she tried to squeeze her thighs to keep him from advance, though she failed miserably as his hands found her sides, drawing out squeals of laughter from her. He bathed in the sound, thought it was the best thing he'd ever heard. And despite her fighting him helplessly, she was no match for his strength. He left her breathless and crying from her laughter, putting his hands on the blanket on either side of her, letting her catch her breath. "Don't do that again," she huffed, going limp under him in exhaustion.

"I'll try to contain myself. It was so much fun for me though," he ran his fingers down her cheek, before capturing her lips with his, stretching out on top of her. She relaxed her thighs, letting him lay between them, their kiss playful and serene. As much as he wanted to take her right here, he knew this out in the open was a bad idea. Instead, he just kissed her slowly drawing sweet moans from her.

She would let him kiss her forever it he wanted to. The sensation was incredible. She felt so safe underneath him, so loved. His hand rested under her head, tangled in her hair as they continued to kiss. She could feel his jeans against her center, through her bathing suit, knew what was hard underneath, but knew this wasn't the place. She honestly just enjoyed kissing him, it felt innocent and new.

She hoped he never stopped kissing her.

XXXX

"_Maybe I know, somewhere_

_Deep in my soul_

_That love never lasts_

_And we've got to find other ways_

_To make it alone_

_But keep a straight face_

_And I've always lived like this_

_Keeping a comfortable distance_

_And up until now_

_I had sworn to myself that I'm content_

_With loneliness_

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk_

_But, you are the only exception"_

_The Only Exception-Paramore _

XXXXX

**I have to say a thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, all the chapters before that, and to everyone who reads this story. You are my inspiration for writing! This fandom is tight, and I love that we read each other's stories, along with PMs, twitter, etc! I love helping fellow readers, and so appreciate the help I receive in return! We are a small but mighty fandom and I must say how proud I am to be a part of it! Thank you to each and every one of you who read, review, favorite, and follow. I write this for YOU! **

**Happy #SaveTheWorldSunday! :D 16 weeks until season 2! **


	36. Chapter 33

_**Fading in, fading out**_

_**On the edge of paradise**_

_**Every inch of your skin is a holy grail I've got to find**_

_**Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire**_

_**Yeah, I'll let you set the pace**_

_**Cause I'm not thinking straight**_

_**My head spinning around I can't see clear no more**_

_**What are you waiting for?**_

_**So love me like you do, love me like you do**_

_**Love me like you do, love me like you do**_

_**Touch me like you do, touch me like you do**_

_**What are you waiting for?**_

_Love Me Like You Do-Ellie Goulding_

XXXX

Birds chirped, waves lapped the shore. Tom tried to wake himself up but the soft noises kept lulling him back to sleep. He recognized her warm body against his, and he pulled her closer, burying his face in her soft hair. He wrinkled his nose at the amount of sand he inhaled. That was strange. Sand? Where was he? On a beach?

It dawned on him then. He was on a beach. He forced his eyes open and over her sandy hair, he saw the palm trees. He lifted his head. The fire had long been out, the sun had already risen over the horizon. His head fell back onto the folded blanket they had used as a pillow. They were under another Navy flannel blanket, laying on another. They'd been talking, he couldn't remember closing his eyes. Glancing at his watch, it was much later than he usually woke. And he was supposed to be on the bridge in an hour. He sighed. There wasn't a zodiac in sight. He'd have to radio the bridge._ Great. _

She stretched suddenly, her back slipping deeper against his chest. A soft, relaxed moan fell from her lips, and he silently cursed again. He wrapped his arm tighter around her, this time moving his hair and nuzzling her neck. "Rach," he whispered against her soft skin.

"Mmmhmm?" She barely registered her name against her neck and her noise was so quiet. He loved it.

"Rach, wake up," he licked the spot he was nuzzling, then immediately regretted it due to the sand he got in his mouth. He laughed at himself. That laugh finally roused her. That, and the hand caressing her stomach through her dress.

"What time is it?" she mumbled, prying her eyes open. Before he could answer, she sat up, turning toward him. He didn't sit up, rolled onto his back. And just laughed again. "Oh no! We fell asleep!" she gasped, her hand coming up to her mouth. "The kids…" her concern was evident.

"Yeah, we do need to get back. They may have slept in, they were out late. It's only 0700." He pulled her by the arm down onto his chest, capturing her lips. "Good morning," he whispered against them. She grinned.

"Mm morning," she replied, kissing him again. He wrapped his arms around her, enjoying their moment briefly. He attempted to run his hands through her long strands, only to snag a knot, causing her to cry out against his mouth in surprise. He immediately stopped, her hand moving to the back of her head. "Ow.." she winced, laughing a little at the yelp she'd made. He furrowed his brow.

"I'm sorry," he apologized sweetly.

"It's going to be bloody hell brushing that out," she whined, pulling the tresses around to see how knotted it was from the salt water and their sleep.

"I'll help. I'm a hair stylist, remember?" he winked at her. She rolled her eyes playfully. He reached for his radio, anxious to get her back on the boat, an idea in his head.

He also knew he would hear about this one. There was no way Mike would let him get away with this without a good kidding jab or two.

XXXX

Tom stepped onto the deck and could immediately feel the eyes of his crew. They were laughing eyes, and Tom took a deep breath. This definitely qualified as some kind of walk of shame. Rachel waited for him, and he grasped her hand tightly, reassuringly. But she didn't seem to care as they walked toward the hatch. Mike waited at the hatch however, and Tom fought not to slow his gait.

"I'd like to make a stop in Bermuda. Christine would like to run away for an evening without telling anyone. She thinks it's hot," Mike spoke as Tom and Rachel walked by. Rachel could hardly contain her laughter.

"I'm sorry, Mike, I didn't mean to fall asleep," Tom replied in defense. Mike raised his eyebrows.

"Sure you didn't. Sleep usually isn't in the plans." Rachel let out a laugh at the teasing before covering her mouth. "I'm just glad we didn't have to come find you on the beach. God knows what we would have seen." The comment got Mike a pointed, steely look. Rachel laughed the whole way down to her room.

"I'll deal with you later," he threatened as she continued to laugh, grabbed a pair of comfortable clothes to change into after her shower. She walked past him, back on to the p-way with a seductive glance thrown in his direction.

"Is that a promise?"

XXXX

"You're joking?" She laughed, looking at the small space. He put a finger to his lips.

"No," he shook his head. "Get in," he whispered encouragingly. His grin alone made her want to, but the shower was so small and this seemed so inappropriate. "We don't have a lot of time," he encouraged lightly. "Take your clothes off." He'd already stripped, reached for the hem of her dress. She relented, making a mental note to tell him to tone down that grin later.

Rachel stepped under the hot water, moving closer to the wall so Tom could step in too. It was a tight fit with the two of them in there, but amidst their quiet laughter, they made due. Rachel had the water first, tipping her head back and letting the sand rinse from her body and long hair. She was surprised by how comfortable she had grown in his presence, not feeling nervous or unsettled in her nakedness in front of him.

He wanted appreciatively as the water ran over her tight, petite body. He'd told himself several times already to behave in here, it was too small for any sexual behavior. But despite that, he couldn't take his eyes off her body, and couldn't wait to get his hands on her.

He stepped forward, grabbing the soap from the small caddy behind her, their chests touching. She tried to stifle the small surprised gasp that settled on her lips, her eyes having been closed, unaware of him moving until he touched her. She shivered as her breasts touched his chest. She opened her eyes, glancing up as he stepped back, pouring soap into his hand. She didn't dare look down, or she knew this innocent shower would take a turn. She focused her eyes on his cyan ones.

What she didn't realize was that he had every intention of helping her as he had offered, his soapy hands touching her shoulders, rubbing so gently. Their eyes stayed locked, as he took his time, running the soap up and down her arms. When he was satisfied, he turned her around, rubbing the soap over her back. Her head dropped, her eyes closing. This hands caressed her skin, covering every inch. Between the hot water and his large hands, her skin was on fire. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

A moan escaped her lips and he leaned close, his chest pressing against her back. "Shhhh," he whispered against her ear. She sucked in a breath, nodding. Despite their 'public' relationship, they still didn't need the crew hearing noises through the thin wall that was between them and the p-way. She nodded, biting her lip at the feel of _all of him_ against her backside.

His cleansing hands rubbed down over the front of her hips, and up under her arms, moving gently over her breasts, and then back down her taut stomach. She again stifled a moan, biting down hard on her lip as his hands dared lower. Before he touched her where she most wanted him too, he pulled his hands back.

She then smelled the familiar scent of his shampoo and felt his hands in her hair. If she had thought him washing her body had been incredible, this was heaven. She leaned her head back, letting out a small sigh of joy.

A smile tugged at his lips as desire tugged somewhere else. He was trying to think of anything except taking her against the shower wall. This was supposed to be about her though, so he pushed the thoughts away for a moment. But every sigh she made had the same effect on him. He massaged her scalp, ran his fingers through her knotted hair gently, removing every knot with care. When he was satisfied, he turned her around, letting the water run over her hair, taking in the beauty before him. He watched her close her eyes under the stream of water, the way her hands pushed the suds out of her hair. He couldn't help himself. He poured more soap in his hands, reaching out with both, caressing her breasts. She didn't jump this time, almost as if she'd anticipated it, and melted into his touch.

She kept her eyes closed, her head back, but her arms dropped to her sides. He massaged them with the soap, gently but thoroughly, his large hands encompassing much of her flesh. Another sigh escaped her lips and he tightened his jaw. _She needed to stop doing that. _And yet he wanted her to keep doing it, needed her too. His self control was dwindling.

He pushed her under the stream, so it slipped down her front, rinsing her of the soap. As the water washed over her, he slid his hand down, slipping two fingers between her folds. He could feel his heartbeat pick up its pace at the amount of slickness between her legs, and he knew it wasn't the water. A small whimper left her lips and he smiled, putting a small amount of pressure on the tiny bud. She shivered under his touch and he held back his own moan.

Without stopping the slow, circular motions he was making with his fingers, he pushed her back against the wall, and dropped to his knees. Her eyes opened wide and the sudden change in his position. "Tom…" she started, but he shushed her with a finger to his own lips. He lifted one of her legs, putting it over his broad shoulder, opening her to him, his fingers still working her. She pursed her lips, feeling vulnerable in this particular position. But as soon as his lips kissed her inner thigh, his mouth licking and nipping up to her center, she was relaxed, sighing, watching him.

Her anticipation was high as he finally placed a kiss against her heat, her fingers digging into his shoulder. Of all the things they'd done, he hadn't done this to her yet. And as his tongue slid up and down slowly, lightly, she now knew what she'd been missing. He kissed, licked, and nipped at her, grazing his teeth over her sensitive skin. She never made a sound, but he knew he'd hit a good spot every time she dug her nails into his traps, leaving half-moon shapes in his skin. It spurred him on, and he licked harder, deeper, sliding his tongue inside of her. She bucked her hips against him, and he looked up to see her eyes closed, head against the wall, teeth biting her bottom lip. _God, she was gorgeous. _

He stroked her walls with his tongue, tasting her, before removing his tongue and replacing it with his finger. He sucked her bud as he pushed his finger in and out of her, listening to her breathing that had turned to a pant, occasional sighs escaping her lips. Her hips pushed against him, rolling into his mouth as he enjoyed her, her nails digging into him harder. He added a second finger and could feel her starting to tighten. As much as he wanted to be inside her, he wanted to push her over the edge this way. And he could tell she was close.

He moved his fingers faster, but still gently, sucking on her bud. He was pleased to find that was what did it. As he felt to her begin to spasm around his fingers, her hips shuddering against him, her mouth opening in a silent scream. He slowed his fingers, eased the suction against her, letting her come down from her high. After a few moments, he eased her leg down, standing, pressing himself against her, pushing her into the wall, kissing her under the water. She panted into his lips, his hands gripping her hips. He needed to have her. And judging by the way her leg came up, wrapping around his thigh, pulling him against her, she wasn't objecting.

He turned the water, off, stepping out of the shower. He didn't bother with a towel, simply lifting her wet body up, as she wrapped her legs around his hips. He carried her to the couch, sitting down on it, leaving her on top of him, her mouth ravaging his neck, shoulders, and collar bones. He lifted her hips and she slid down on him easily, both of them gasping out. He closed his lips over hers as she began to move against him, rolling her hips into his, taking him deeper every time. Their slick bodies moved easily against one another, and he attempted to silence her moans with his mouth.

His hands grasped her hips, pulling her harder against him, needing his own release. The added friction of his strength made her bite his lip, probably harder than she should have, before her second wave took her over. He pulled her down hard against him, relishing in her release and letting his own go. He gritted his teeth to keep from calling her name, holding her down tightly on him as he rode out his own orgasm. She buried her head in his neck, trying to catch her breath. He leaned his head against hers, eyes closing, doing the same.

They sat in silence for a few more moments, before she leaned back, kissing him a few more times, relishing in the clean smell that settled in the room. "I need to take another shower," he chuckled against her lips. She realized they'd never washed him, and could tell by the stubble on his cheeks he needed to shave. She nodded reluctantly, climbing off of him slowly, their separation always the worst part.

She grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her body, and tossed him one. He wrapped it around his waist, turning the shower back on. She leaned against the doorframe between his stateroom and the small washroom. Watching him like a panther watches its prey. He could tell she wanted more. He leaned into her, kissing her lips. "You're trying to kill me," he whispered against them. She smiled innocently.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Tone down those eyes then, because I feel as though you're eating me alive," he tapped her nose, before shedding the towel and climbing back into the small shower. She laughed, moving to grab the sweatpants and tee-shirt she'd brought from her stateroom. She'd eat him alive later, she thought to herself, with a smile.

XXXX

The ship set sail for south Florida. They needed supplies and fuel. Their mini-vacation over, it was time to continue their work.

It was a few days later they had sent a team ashore for what they needed, while life on the ship continued as normal. Rachel worked diligently in the lab, Tom took the time docked to run some drills, test their response teams, keep everyone on point. When docked, this was as good a time as any to practice. Then they were ready for anything, should it come to that.

Rachel heard the hatch open, turned with a large smile, anticipating Tom. Instead, she saw Ashley, her arms around her little brother, hurrying him toward Rachel. The doctor immediately became concerned.

"Dr. Scott," Ashley's voice was filled with worry. "Sam has had a terrible sore throat all day, and now I think he has a fever," the small mothering child she was, she placed her hand on her brother's forehead as they stopped at Rachel's desk.

"A sore throat, huh, Sam? When did this start?" She inquired, moving to get a few of the medical supplies she had down in the lab from the trials.

"This morning, after Dad went to work," Ashley replied. The tears on Sam's face were another good indication of his level of sickness. "We know we're not supposed to bother Dad when he's working…" she drifted off, hoping she'd made the right decision. Rachel's tender smile told her she had.

"You can always come to me," Rachel assured them. She helped Sam onto the desk, taking his temperature. Sure enough, the poor child had a 102.5 degree fever. She immediately became concerned. "Sam, can you open you mouth for me? Let me see your throat," she used her small flashlight, taking in the array of white patches along his throat. She had her answer. "Oh sweetheart, you have a bad case of strep throat, it appears. Let me test to make sure," she pulled her gloves on while Ashley held Sam's hand, comforting him in soothing words. The sight made Rachel smile softly. They were an adorable pair. She swabbed the child's throat, causing him to gag. She rubbed his back, before taking the culture and preparing it for incubation. Once she was done, she lifted him up. He wrapped his arms around her neck, his legs around her waist. He was still so small, only 9 years old. Rachel rubbed his back.

"Okay, let's get you to bed. Ashley, can you go by medical and ask Dr. Rios for any throat lozenges?" Ashley nodded her head vigorously as they headed for the door.

"Absolutely," she replied, heading off in that direction.

"I'll meet you back at your father's cabin," Rachel called after her, carrying Sam to the Captain's cabin. She laid him down on the bed once they arrived. She fetched him some cozy sweatpants and a tee-shirt of Tom's, tucking him into the bigger bed.

"I want my mom," the small child whimpered. It broke Rachel's heart. She sat down on the edge of the bed, running a cold cloth over his forehead.

"I'm sure you do, baby," a few tears rolled down his sick cheeks. Ashley arrived just then, a bag of lozenges in her hand. She dutifully gave them to Rachel, her face full of worry. Rachel squeezed the girl's arm, assuring her that Sam would be just fine. "Here, Sam, take one of these. Ashley, can you rub his head with this cold cloth while I call Dr. Rios for medicine?" Ashley hopped easily on the bed, accepting the cloth, and talking sweetly to her little brother. Rachel called down to sickbay, asking for a child's dose of penicillin and pain reliever. Rios replied that he'd bring it up shortly. Rachel sat back down on the bed. "Ashley, sweetie, go play with Ava. You've been a wonderful nurse. It's my turn now," she spoke sweetly to the younger girl. Ashley looked apprehensive.

"Sam, is that okay?" she looked to her brother for reassurance. He nodded meekly. Ashley reluctantly headed for the door, leaving Sam and Rachel alone.

"Once you have some medicine, you'll start feeling better," she assured him.

"I'm so cold," he shivered under the blankets. She explained it was just the fever, tucked him in a little tighter despite it. Once Rios arrived with the medicine, she helped him take it, and then climbed in next to him. She stroked his head, and told him stories of before he'd boarded the ship, about the Russians and Danny's heroic mission in Gitmo. She talked him to sleep with her stories, and didn't realize how long he's slept until Tom came through the door. He didn't see them at first.

It startled him to find them in his bed, and he jumped a little. Before he spoke, her finger found her lips, telling him to stay quiet. When she moved to get up, Sam's little arm's latched around her tightly.

"Don't leave me, Rachel," he whimpered. Tom's eyes widened at his son's words, his heart swelling. She laid back down, continuing to stroke his hair. Tom sat on the edge of the bed, his large hand landing on Sam's small stomach.

"What's wrong?" He asked her in a hushed voice, his eyes surveying the small boy under the blankets.

"Strep throat," Rachel explained with a sympathetic smile. She caught sight of his watched-they'd been laying here almost six hours. She must have dozed off too, she realized.

"How long has he been sick?" She could tell, even from his hushed tone, that he was upset no one had told him.

"Most of the day I believe. Ashley brought him to me this morning. We all knew you had a busy day," she explained quietly. Sam snuggled closer to her if possible.

Tom shook his head, at a loss. He hadn't been there for his son's sickness, and Ashley had asked for Rachel when she was sick. "I had no idea. All seemed fine when I checked on them, though they were still sleeping." He ran a hand over his gray hair. _No wonder it's so gray_, he laughed to himself.

"He's just fine," she reached out to touch him, ran her hand over his where it lay on Sam. She offered a reassuring smile, and after a beat, he returned it. "Can you go check on Ashley? I sent her off to play with Ava, but she hasn't come back." He nodded, kissing Sam's forehead and then her's.

"I'll be right back," he said seriously. She laughed a little.

"We're fine, Tom. Don't rush back. Spend some time with your daughter." As his hand reached the door knob, she spoke again and he turned his head. "But when you come, please bring a tea," her smile was sweet and he nodded at once.

"Absolutely." he replied with a smile.

XXXX

Tom found Ashley with Ava, Jenny, and Tex in the ward room playing cards. He raised an eyebrow at the foursome, but in Jenny's direction. She shrugged at him, making a face. He ran his hands over Ashley's soft brown hair.

"Hey honey," he kissed her cheek.

"Daaddd," she drug out the word, leaning away, "I'm concentrating, hang on," she replied, assessing her cards. He looked at her hand, and then Ava's hand and look up at Tex with a speculative look. All players had chips.

"Tex, are you teaching the girls to play poker?" Tom asked suspiciously, eyeing his sister.

Tex waved him off, "The basics. Jenny and I were playing, they wanted to learn." He was focused on his hand, and Tom looked between the four.

"There are just things I didn't think I'd ever see. Ashley, what would your grandfather say?"

"He said to kick Jenny's butt." The girls burst into a fit of giggles and Tom rolled his eyes.

"I would have thought war or go fish more appropriate," Tom suggested, leaning over Ashley's shoulders eyeing her cards.

"That's why you're captain and I'm not," Tex fired back with humor. Tom tapped three of Ashley's cards and her eyes lit up. Tom walked to make Rachel a tea, himself a coffee, and listened for Ashley's victory. When she was the only one who didn't fold, she shouted triumphantly and Tex threw a glance in his direction. "Well, boss, I guess you've played a time or two," he remarked. Tom shrugged, making his way toward the door.

"I know a thing or two about poker," he replied cryptically with a smile, heading back up the p-way.

When he returned to his room, Sam was awake, leaning his back into Rachel's chest in the best. Tom grinned widely at his son. "Hey buddy, how are you feeling?"

"Better. Rachel took care of me," he held her hand tightly, his voice still strained from the swelling.

"I know she did. She's good like that," Tom replied, moving his desk chair to sit by the bed.

"You can come back later. I'm okay here," Tom's eyes widened, as did Rachel's, at Sam's words. They locked eyes for a moment, and Rachel tried desperately to stifle her laughter.

"I can go? You don't need me?" Tom replied back, feigning disappointment.

"No. Rachel has it all under control." Sam held her hand tightly against his chest. Tom then realized he wasn't in the mood to share his nurse. Tom couldn't blame his son for that. He tried to hold in his smile, shrugging.

"All right then," He stood, moving his chair back. He still had reports on the bridge he could go over from the day, or he could hit the gym. He glanced over his shoulder at the two, the way Sam was snuggled against her. She offered an apologetic smile and he just shook his head in silent laughter. He mouthed the words, 'I love you', which he very much did, before heading off back to the bridge.

When he arrived, Mike was surprised to see him again. "I thought you were done for the day," he replied from his chair. Tom sat down in his own.

"Sam has strep and doesn't feel like sharing Rachel right now. I was dismissed." Tom replied back candidly, with a laugh. Mike laughed too, silent for a half-moment, before replying.

"Maybe we should let them spend the night on South Beach. It's something his father likes to do-" Mike had to duck to miss getting hit by the flying pen.

XXXX

_Thank you for the incredible reviews, favorites, and follows as of late! I love writing this story for you and I hope you're still enjoying it. You all deserved some fluff after all the torture I put you through. _

_I owe a few of you PMs and replies. I haven't forgotten you! I was desperate to get this chapter posted for you!_

_To the several people who had asked if the last chapter was the end...absolutely not! Next chapter will be the end of Part II, and then we'll be on to Part III! :D I'm so excited to unfold it for you all! _

_Happy #SaveTheWorldSunday folks! 15 weeks left until the premiere! :D _

_PS- Did everyone see Eric Dane's post of Tom Chandler's injury?! Lord help us! (There's a oneshot in the making about it, I should have it up this week if it cooperates :D)_


	37. Author's Note--So sorry!

Happy #SaveTheWorldSunday wonderful people!

Today is my 2-year wedding anniversary and I will be spending it with my husband :)

The chapter is not finished yet, and is not at a point that is fair to you for me to post. This is an important chapter and will set up for Part III. I will finish it this week and get it up before next Sunday so I can get back to posting normally on Sunday of next week!

I do apologize for this inconvenience, and it pains me to post this note. And despite my husband's incredible support and respect for me and this story (yes, he knows about it, it's a comical story— and last night he tried to tell me that Tex and Rachel would have a 'thing' next season, you can imagine the argument that ensued LOL!), I cannot spend my wedding anniversary finishing this chapter :-P

Thank you all for your continued support in this story. I am SO excited about Part III and bringing it to you starting next Sunday. If you have speculations, leave them below, I'm curious if any of you think you know what's about to happen!

Thank you again! Enjoy your day! :D


	38. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34—End of Part II**

* * *

****Thank you to CathyCath and Pandora576 for their incredible Tom/Rachel videos. Definitely watched them ALL while writing this chapter****

* * *

When Tom returned to his stateroom hours later, Sam was curled up against Rachel, both fast asleep. He'd had some ice cream with Ashley before tucking her into bed and deciding to retire himself. When he saw the display on his bed, he was glad he had.

He felt Sam's forehead, pleased to find no fever. He ran the back of his hand softly down Rachel's cheek, and when she didn't stir, he smiled sweetly at her. She had left while he was gone, changing into pajamas and coming back. They were both under the covers. He couldn't bear to wake them, knew he'd be sleeping on the small couch once more. He contemplated heading to his At-Port cabin, but decided against it. He wanted to be there when they woke up.

He changed in the small bathroom, thinking about his actions with Rachel that morning in the shower. It seemed like decades ago. But it brought a smile to his face, and a flush across his cheeks. He'd be sleeping on that couch tonight too. Tom chuckled to himself as he made himself as comfortable as he could on the small couch, closing his eyes.

XXXXX

Tom woke hours later to being poked in the shoulder. His head was hurting, and he didn't know what day it was. It was so cold. Where was he anyway?

He forced his eyes open, finding Sam standing over him, peering at him curiously. Tom's head was pounding, and his throat was scratchy and felt like it was full of spiked cotton. He swallowed hard and groaned. _Damnit_.

"Dad," his son whispered, "I'm hungry." Tom forced himself to a sitting position, running a hand over his face. He felt _terrible_.

"Okay, bud," he forced out, the pain in his throat surprising him. It had been years since he'd had strep throat. It wasn't something that was common on these ships.

"Your voice sounds weird," Sam made a face at Tom, not putting the facts together. Tom tiredly rustled Sam's hair.

"My throat is a bit sore," he confessed, pushing himself to stand. He decided on tea-he needed tea and honey. He looked to his right to see Rachel fast asleep under the covers of his bed. He'd bring her tea too, for when she woke.

Both brushed their teeth before Tom took Sam down to the wardroom. His father was there and knew immediately with one look at Tom that he was sick.

"You look like something Rachel did experiments on," Jed quipped with a chuckle. Tom groaned.

"I feel like it," he replied, wincing. Jed made a face.

"I suggest you get back to your stateroom before you infect us all," Jed advised. Tom nodded, not responding, simply making tea for him and Rachel, heading wordlessly back to his cabin. He pushed the door open and found Rachel sitting up on the bed. Her face was white and she was shivering. He groaned.

"You too?" he managed, a sympathetic look upon his face. She winced when she tried to swallow.

"Mmmhmm," she mumbled as Tom handed her the cup of tea he'd made for her.

"It has honey," he told her as she sipped it. Her pained expression chipped his heart. He laid down where Sam had been, pulling her into his strong arms.

"I feel terrible," she confessed. Tom nodded his head where it lay against hers.

"Me too," he agreed. He reached for his phone with one hand, dialing sickbay. When Rios answered, Tom struggled. "Doc," he greeted, "Whatever you gave Sam yesterday, make two adult doses please and bring to my quarters asap," he struggled, wincing as he swallowed. "Yeah," he answered a question, "she's got it too." She could hear the doctor's laughter and she cussed under her breath. It still hurt. "Door is unlocked when you get here," he hung up the phone and they both sank lower in the bed. He covered them up.

"This is terrible," Rachel covered her eyes with one hand, coughing a little.

"At least we have each other," he grasped her hand and she groaned.

"Don't touch me, everything hurts," she whined. He made a face.

"But Rachel...," he needed her comfort. He hated being sick. Rachel eyed him through lowered eyelids.

"Tom, I love you, but please don't touch me," she extended her foot, rubbing it against his softly. "This is my olive branch." They lay on their sides, facing one another. He sighed.

"Accepted." He rubbed her foot back. "Rios better get here soon."

XXXXX

They spent most of the day miserable. Once their fevers went down, they showered separately, changed the sheets and snuggled together. Jenny took over their care later in the afternoon, which left Tom a little unpleasant, as she teased and kidded about how they both came down with it. By nightfall, they were still suffering some of the symptoms but were more comfortable. Tom decided he'd be back to work the next day regardless. Rachel on the other hand was less convinced about that.

And to Rachel's enjoyment, Tom was back in bed beside her by noon the next day. And they stayed that way for thirty-six more hours. Tom grumbled about Sam's quick recovery, and Rachel couldn't help but laugh. They took their antibiotics, and took their pain medicine, and they lay together, getting to know each other more. They talked about their childhoods, their college days, Tom talked about Darien's pregnancies with the children. They explored so many topics they hadn't broached before because they hadn't been locked up in a room together this long, and when they were alone together, they were usually partaking in other activities.

By day three, when Tom turned over and pulled Rachel to him, she didn't resist. Snuggling her into his broad chest, he knew they'd overcome their their sickness hump. Despite how terrible they'd felt, he'd enjoyed their alone time together. Tom felt her knew her so much better than he had three days ago. He was happy, and felt so fortunate to have her by his side.

Rachel eventually stirred, stretching and yawning. Tom released his grip on her slightly.

"I need food and a shower," she mumbled, as he pulled her closer. He chuckled against her hair

"Same, on both accounts," he replied, his voice deep and raspy. She grew stiff.

"Thomas Chandler, do not come at me before we've eaten and showered," she sounded more awake now, and he laughed a little.

"I'm not doing anything to you that you don't want," was his sly reply. She sighed.

"I see _someone_ is feeling better now," she rolled her eyes playfully, even though he couldn't see it. "I need to get down to the lab, check on Quincy." She pushed herself up, knowing if she stayed, she likely wouldn't ever leave. His arms were so comfortable, so accommodating. She released her, his hand settling on her thigh.

"Are you feeling better?" his voice was serious now, though his smile was sweet.

She nodded, "So much better. You?"

"Yes. I can finally swallow without any pain," he swallowed for emphasis and she laughed a little.

"I need a shower, fresh clothes, and food," she changed the wording but repeated her desires. She moved to get up, but he grasped her arm gently, stopping her.

"Come back here tonight?" his voice was low, his eyes searching hers. He'd enjoyed having her beside him this whole time, despite their sickness. It was nice having her in his bed with him. He wanted it to be permanent.

She stopped moving, turning to regard him. He looked so handsome, his hair a little unruly, his eyes sleepy, the look in his blue eyes so hopeful. There was no way she could say no to that face….not that she ever would.

"I'd love to," her voice was soft as she reached up to caress his cheek covered in a two day shadow. She loved the gray in it. He looked so distinguished. And so casual.

"Good," he took her hand, bringing it to his lips. "Maybe I'll see you at some point today," he kissed her knuckles.

"Maybe you will. You know where to find me," she grinned happily.

"And you know where to find me," he replied right back as she stood up. He took note of how his tee shirt and sweatpants fit her petite frame. It was a view he could definitely get used to.

She leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I'll see you later," she ran her hand through his gray hair simply because she could. He closed his eyes at the feeling.

"Sounds good," he replied, watching her gather her things and left him alone. Tom lay back against the pillows, immediately missing her presence. He had it bad, he laughed to himself.

Rachel made her way down the quiet p-way, grinning to herself. She wanted to crawl back into bed with him and spend two more days wrapped in his arms, especially now that they felt better. She looked forward to tonight. She felt giddy. Gosh, she adored this man.

XXXXX

After a whole day of not seeing him, arriving back at his room felt like home. They'd both been so busy catching up on their respective work, they hadn't even passed on the p-way. She contemplated knocking, contemplated entering on her own accord. She stood outside the door for a brief moment, but long enough for Mike to see her there. He walked toward her, a bright smile on his handsome face.

"Good evening, Rachel," he greeted, stopping by her side. She smiled up at him cheerfully.

"Hello, Mike," she replied. He looked between her and the door.

"If you're waiting for him to answer, he's still on the bridge," Mike offered kindly. "I'm sure he won't mind if you just go in and make yourself at home. He'll be done soon."

They'd had their moments in the beginning, but she looked to Mike like a big brother now, very much respected him. She smiled, her cheeks turning a little pink. "Thank you, Mike," she spoke, her words conveying her appreciation for the invitation into Tom's room. Mike began toward his own cabin.

"You're welcome. Have a good night," he left her reaching for the door knob, pushing the door open. The room was quiet, just the light next to the bed glowing. The sheets and comforter were changed on the bed, she noticed, and a mug sat on his desk. As she stepped closer, a piece of paper lay by the mug. She smiled so brightly.

'_I'll be on the bridge until 0100. Here is a cup of chamomile tea. Please don't wait up. I'm sorry I had to work late. -T'_

Between the tea, the clean sheets, and the sweet note, she didn't care. She was exhausted anyway. She picked up the mug, and it was still warm. She wanted to squeal will delight. This man was thoughtful no matter the moment. She sipped the tea, settling down on his bed. She reached for a book off the shelf by his bed. A book on World War II war tactics. She read the inner cover before deciding it seemed like it was worth the read. She slipped open to the first page. If she was going to be with this man long term, she should learn about his passions. She sipped her tea as she began to read.

XXXXX

When Tom returned around a little after 0200, his heart swelled to find her asleep in his bed, in the spot she'd occupied for two days prior. Her empty tea cup sat on his headboard, a book across her chest, her head turned softly on the pillow, her breathing deep. He couldn't have created a better scene if he'd tried. She looked so peaceful, he was afraid to move and disturb her. He crept toward her, picking the book up off her chest. He laughed silently, the thick book a bit of a bore. She was several chapters in though it appeared, and he couldn't help but feel something deep inside for her having chosen one of his books to read. He set the book down, saving her place with a folded corner, before quietly changing into a tee shirt and sweatpants.

He climbed in next to her as gently as he could, trying not to wake her sleeping form. She rustled a little, sinking further into the pillows. His hand landed on her stomach, his thumb caressing it on top of the soft long sleeved shirt she wore. He kissed her forehead. When she still didn't wake, he grinned. She was so content here, in his bed, she was completely sound asleep. With his hand on her, he closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of him beside her, and looking forward to waking up beside her in the morning, and hopefully every morning.

XXXXX

Rachel slept so well that when she first woke she was sure it was mid-afternoon the next day. She attempted to shift and realized she couldn't due to an immense amount of weight on her right side. When she turned her head and opened her eyes, blinking them to adjust to the darkness, she immediately grinned. Tom was flush against her right side, practically laying over her right side, his arm draped across her midsection. She sighed in content. This was how she wanted to wake up every day. She purposefully shifted herself to lay her back against his chest. She didn't remember him coming in at all, she must have been so deeply asleep. She didn't care, only cared he was here now. She was wrapped in his warmth as he sighed, tightening his arm around her. She closed her eyes again. The lab wasn't going anywhere, she'd sleep until he woke her.

XXXXX

Rachel sipped her tea, waiting for her test to finish. It had been a long four weeks, but she'd managed to create an extensive amount of the vaccine and cure, as well as modify the another type of the cure thanks to a few virus samples Quincy had taken in Florida and Louisiana. They were now heading down toward South America. They were trying to stay ahead of any mutations the virus was making, and with this final analysis of the newest cure, she was sure they were making more progress than anyone else. She felt very good about what they'd accomplished. Now there was talk of going in land, distributing the the vaccine and cure. No decisions had been made, but the officers and Rachel had been having lengthy discussions. It was getting to be time to share what they'd created.

The hatch opened, and Rachel didn't even peer up from her computer. She knew who it was. He always came down around this time, bringing her tea or a sandwich. Taking care of her. She was becoming very used to it, and looked forward to it more than she'd put into words. He came up behind her, his hand moving her ponytail, his lips finding exposed skin on her neck.

"Hi," he mumbled against her flesh. She shivered and chuckled.

"Hello," she replied back, not bothering to face Tom. Instead she leaned back into his lips as they slowly ravaged her sensitive skin. A moan wanted to escape but she fought it. They were in her lab, and it was the middle of the day. Not that it had stopped him a week ago from taking her against the side of the helo bay, her jeans forgotten, legs wrapped around his waist. She had two nice-sized bruises to show for it, but she didn't care. Her cheeks flared at the thought. She'd repeat it again in a second.

"I brought you a sandwich," his arm came around, placing the plastic-wrapped lunch in front of her, his words muffled as he continued to kiss her. It did look delicious. She dropped her head forward, her pen falling to the desk.

"Thank you," she breathed, swallowing hard. "You should probably stop that before I let you take me on my desk," she whispered. He growled against her shoulder, where he'd pulled her shirt back.

"Let me," he replied, nipping at her skin. She laughed softly.

"You're insatiable," she remarked, turning in her chair to face him. Both his arms landed on either side of her on her desk, as he leaned over her, essentially trapping her. Her hands found his broad sides, her hands gripping the thick fabric of his BDUs.

"Ever since last week, every time I come in here, I want you," he whispered, that smirk she'd grown to adore on his handsome face as he searched her darker eyes with his cyan ones.

"And you can have me. Later. In our bed," she spoke softly, soothingly, trying to bring him back from the brink of tearing her clothes off right then.

"I'm holding you to that," he relented, standing to his full height. She laughed, shaking her head.

"Do it," she replied with sass, before looking back at her computer. "You'll be pleased to know my tests are coming along wonderfully," she changed the subject, needing to calm to the dragon behind her.

"Really?" His hands landed on her shoulders, his thumb digging into her stiff muscles.

"Tom…"

"Yes, Rachel?"

"You're so distracting…," she closed her eyes, leaning into his hands. He knew it, he did it on purpose when he came by. He enjoyed torturing her, knowing he had that effect on her. He dropped his hands and she whimpered at the loss.

"You were saying..?" he smirked, moving to rest against the desk, hands in his lap. She glared playfully.

"I'm making a lot of progress on the modified cure. I'm hoping you can get me a few more monkeys for tests," her eyes were wide, hopefully. They were heading in that direction.

"I'll talk with Mike about stopping for you. Since it went so beautifully the first time," his voice was sarcastic as he teased her, referencing the last time they'd gone looking for monkeys in Nicaragua. She laughed.

"It's for the greater good," she laughed.

"And Mike's weight," Tom added before the two laughed harder. "Do not tell him I said that," he said through his laughter. She shook her head.

"I would never," she assured him. Their laughter died down slowly as she unwrapped her lunch. He kissed her forehead.

"I'm heading back to the bridge. I'll see you tonight," he gave her a wink that made her heart flutter, and went on his way with a simple squeeze of her shoulder.

"Bye," she spoke softly, "Thank you for lunch!" she called out, turning toward the door. He flashed her a handsome smile.

"Anything for you," he slipped through the hatch, shutting it behind him. She went back to her sandwich and her computer, jotting a few notes down as she chewed.

A ringing pierced the silence of the lab, startling Rachel. It rang once, and then twice before she realized what it was. Her heart stopped, her sandwich falling to the table. She couldn't even finish chewing her bite of food. It rang a third and fourth time before Rachel was on her feet, running for it.

She grabbed the sat phone receiver, putting it to her ear. "Hello?" she spoke breathlessly into the phone.

* * *

_Well folks, that concludes Part II of Red Flag! Are you still with me!? Cause we're about to take a ride!_

_Thank you for all the sweet notes about my anniversary, and for understanding my need to postpone this update. We had a wonderful day! And trust me, I let him have it for even SPEAKING the words Rachel and Tex together in a sentence. He knows better than to do it again ;)_

_I want to take a moment to say **THANK YOU**. Thank you for every review, from Chapters 1-33 (665 reviews! WHAT?! Incredible!), for every author and story favorite and follow! I couldn't (and probably wouldn't) write this story without you guys. **Every review means SO MUCH to me**. Thank you for always leaving a line. We've come so far, and still have more to go, and I'm SO EXCITED to bring it to you!_

_Please read Joys of October's companion oneshot, Starry Starry Night. It's delicious fluff that fits in between Chapters 32 and 33. She's also written two M-rated oneshots that fit in with RF as well. If you're looking for smut, head in that direction. You WILL NOT be disappointed :D_

_Fourteen weeks left until the premiere! :D We're almost in the home stretch! Let's do this! :D_


	39. Chapter 35

Disclaimer- I do not own The Last Ship or its characters. I have no affiliation with the show and this is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only. I do however own Jenny and Jimmy! :D

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 35-Part III

"Dr. Scott! Is that you?" the male voice on the other end sounded so far away. Her eyes widened and panic shot through her chest.

"Yes! Yes it is! Who is this?" She pushed the phone as far to her ear as she could.

"This is Dr. Richard Thompson from the CDC. We've been trying to reach you for a week. Are you still on the USS Nathan James?" Her heart raced. She'd been talking with him back before they'd lost contact with the US. She'd recognize his voice anywhere.

"Richard! Yes, yes I am! Where are you?" She realized her hands were shaking. She was shocked he'd survived.

"We're at Kitsap Naval Base in Bangor, Washington. It's a quarantined area that wasn't affected by the Red Flu. We lost all communication shortly after we got here, that's why you stopped hearing from us," the connection was spotty, and he cut out for a moment, "Have you made any progress?"

"I have the cure, and a vaccine!" She blurted out, leaning on the counter.

There was a long pause, and muffled voices. She couldn't tell if he was trying to talk to her. "Rachel, you're sure?" She heard him loud and clear that time, and she realized he must have been talking to others.

"I am! We've done primate and human trials," she explained, "We've successfully saved lives, as well as protected ourselves from the virus."

"I can't...this is fantastic news! How many strains of the virus do you have?"

"Three so far, but we're about to stop in South America, I'll be able to gather another sample hopefully."

There was more muffled noise, and then Richard's voice was urgent, "Rachel, we need you to come here. Where are you exactly?"

Rachel's mouth went dry. "Come.. to Washington State?" She repeated, stuttering a little. She collapsed into the chair, her mind racing. This was happening too fast. What was going on?

"Yes. We need you here."

"We are about to stop for fuel and supplies, as well as more monkeys for tests on a possible vaccine for a different strain-"

"The _USS Seawolf _can pick you up in two days," his voice was concrete, and in theory, she did work for him. She couldn't very well tell him _no_, however that was her first reaction.

"The _what_? Two days?" She wished Tom had stayed just a moment longer, this was all too much for her to take in.

"It's a US naval submarine," he explained. She couldn't read his tone.

"What about the _Nathan James_?" _What about Tom?_ her mind shouted at her.

"It'll take you longer to get here on the destroyer. We need you now, Rachel," he sounded desperate.

"I need to speak with Captain Chandler," she replied. She covered her forehead with her free hand.

"With all due respect, this does not concern Captain Chandler. He did his duty by keeping you safe and protecting your mission. Now you're no longer his concern. I will speak with the Navy and he will be rewarded for his actions."

Rachel was silent for a moment. "Two days?"

"The _Seawolf_ will contact the _Nathan James _shortly to find your exact coordinates. Please let the Captain know. Rachel, they'll radio me once you're on the sub. I'll see you soon," their connection ended and Rachel simply sat for a long moment, suddenly feeling nauseous. She put the phone down, and put her head in her hands, breathing through the sick feeling in her stomach. She had to tell Tom.

Rachel stood, pacing now, still feeling terribly sick. A submarine was picking her up in two days to take her to Bangor, Washington. They'd gone so long without communication with the outside world, they had their own course set, their own mission in place. Yes, she knew this was her original mission, and under other circumstances she would most likely jump at the chance for another adventure and for taking her work to the base for mass production. But things were different now. So, so different.

She was in love with an incredible man, and his wonderful family. This whole crew had become her family. They'd been through so much. Together. The thought of leaving the ship hadn't crossed her mind since she'd gone to Deer Park. And that hadn't exactly worked out well for her. She and Tom had grown so much since then. She wrung her hands together, her anxiety level making her heart race.

She had to tell him at once. She took a deep breath, heading for the bridge, her lunch and tests forgotten.

XXXXX

Rachel paced outside the entrance to the bridge, chewing her lip. She'd caught Alisha on her way back with a cup of coffee, and asked her to get Tom. They'd hid so much from each other so many times, but she couldn't hide this, _wouldn't_ hide it.

Tom stepped through the doorway and saw her pacing a few feet away, up and down the p-way. He could immediately tell something was wrong. He checked his watch, he'd left her not even ten minutes prior. "Rachel," he moved toward her, his brow furrowed, "What's wrong?" he reached out to gently touch her arm, concern filling him.

"Tom, we need to talk. Can we talk?" her tone was urgent, and he started to worry.

"Of course," he led her to his stateroom, pushing the door open, allowing her in, shutting it behind him. He walked to his desk, leaned against it while she continued to pace.

"My sat phone just rang," she started, fighting the nausea and the tears.

Tom's eyes widened. "What?"

"It was Dr. Thompson, with the CDC. He was one of the people who endorsed me with the government to let me on your ship. Technically I work for him, in some regard," Tom let her pace a moment more before he finally stepped forward, gently placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Rachel, calm down. Whatever it is, it can't be that bad," he rubbed her shoulders with his thumbs, speaking soothingly to her.

"They're sending a submarine to pick me up in two days," she whispered, daring herself to look up to his face.

Tom was silent, her words registering in his head. He could have sworn his heart actually stopped for a moment. "Two days?" he repeated. He must have heard her wrong.

"Two days," she confirmed, terrified of his reaction.

"A submarine?"

"The _USS Seawolf_."

He pulled her into his chest, holding her tightly against him. He was having a hard time processing this information. "Why?" He asked quietly, kissing the top of her head.

"They need me and what I've created," she murmured against his BDUs. She wrapped her arms around his waist, holding herself against him. She felt a tiny bit better in his arms, though she still felt sick.

"Where are they taking you?" Tom knew they couldn't fight this. He would never let her go somewhere he thought she would be harmed, but he knew the commander of the _Seawolf, _prior to this disaster. And this was the CDC they were talking about-they would treat her like a queen after everything she'd accomplished.

"Kitsap Naval Base. That's where they're based now."

Some ease settled in Tom's heart. "Okay. I know that base," he rubbed her back. He'd been there several times, during deployments and during training.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, closing her eyes, tears fighting to slide down her cheeks. He leaned back, cupping her cheeks.

"What could you possibly have to be sorry for?" He searched her eyes, his own full of love and concern for her.

A few tears escaped. "I don't know," she sniffled.

"Where are we meeting the sub?" he wiped her tears with his thumbs. He knew how this would work.

"They're going to contact you today." He pulled her close again, knowing he'd need to let the CIC know they should be expecting the call.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do," Tom rocked her gently, "I'm going to talk to Mike and we're going to go to Bangor. Is the base equipped with everything you need?"

"I assume so," she was starting to feel better. "How long would it take you to get to Bangor?"

"It depends on when the sub picks you up and where we are. I'll talk to Gator."

"I don't want to go," she muttered, holding on to him tightly. "I mean, I have to finish what I started, I understand that. But I don't want to leave you and the children," a few more tears escaped.

"Honey, we won't be separated that long," he comforted. He was trying to be strong for her, but the thought of not having her beside him for one day made his heart ache. Especially as of late; they'd grown so close.

"Do you think it's safe?" She needed his professional opinion.

"Well," he was careful in how he spoke, in what he said. Terrible scenarios filled his head, but he also had the utmost faith in his ship and his crew. If this was a set up, or some devious power-hungry leader, he would never let her leave the ship and would defend it to the death. "We'll confirm the identity of the sub as soon as we have it on radar, and I'll make sure the captain comes aboard and we have a full conversation about you and how this will work. I'm not letting you board that submarine unless I am 110 percent sure you are in safe hands." He'd protect her with his life, always.

"Okay," she let out a sigh. She closed her eyes, trying to memorize every moment of this hug, of this comfort. Forty-eight hours just wasn't enough. She had so much to do, so many things to pack, so little time to spend with him.

He ran his hand over her hair, kissing her forehead. "Rachel, I swear on my life, I will not let anything happen to you. We will scope everything out to make sure you're in good hands." He made a mental note to talk with Mike about potentially sending one of his men with her. He'd feel better if she had twenty-four seven protection from someone he trusted.

"Why aren't you fighting this?" her words were soft, curious. She couldn't understand his ease in the situation. Needed to understand it, needed some of it herself.

Tom sighed heavily, leaning back to search her face, again cupping her smooth cheeks. "This is what I do, Rachel. The Navy works together. I hold no authority over the CDC, the WHO, or the commander of the _Seawolf_. I can't fight them. If it is in fact everything you say it is, and we'll know soon for sure, then we have to trust the process." He had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he would never let her know that. He needed to be her rock during all this. If he was okay, she'd be okay. "It's not that I'm not fighting it, it's that I can't. This is what you set out to do. And my mission all along was to protect you and your mission. If the virus hadn't been this bad, or if you'd created the vaccine sooner, this is probably what would have happened. We would have arrived back in Norfolk and you would have gone back to what you did before." He brushed a stray hair behind her ear. "Under no circumstances will I let you be in harm's way. It'll be okay," he pulled her into him once more, rocking her, holding her tightly against him. "Soon we'll go tell the CIC about the sub, so they're looking for it and ready for it to radio us. You'll come with me, we'll talk to them together. Then I'll talk to Mike. And then we'll have dinner with the children," he knew it would be particularly hard on them, but there was no way she could leave this ship without saying goodbye to them.

"What will we do now?" She gripped him tighter and he smiled despite all of this. Forty-eight hours wasn't enough.

"Right now, I'm going to hold you for a while," he moved them to the couch, pulling her down beside him and wrapping his arms around her. He would take this one move at a time. He'd wait to hear from the submarine before he made any further plans. He kissed the side of her head, held her against him. He was terrified, sick. But he would be strong for her. He had to be.

Rachel melted into him, a few more tears escaping her eyes. Leaving him, whether for a short time, or a long time, was awful no matter which way she looked at it. She'd come to rely on him over these last few months, in so many ways. Being away from him...a sob escaped her lips and she felt his arms tighten around her, rubbing her back. And the children. She couldn't bear to not see their faces. She closed her eyes, fighting the tears and the urge to be sick. She'd get through this-_they_ would get through this. They had to.

* * *

Here's Part III of Red Flag. I'm so interested in your thoughts! Please leave me a line and let me know. I'm a little nervous about this chapter, so please be kind. I have big plans, and sometimes they are harder to write than I anticipated.

I owe several of you reviews-I promise I will get to them this week! I wanted to get this posted by tonight, hence my delay, along with a crazy work week. I have no forgotten your stories, please bear with me!

Happy #SaveTheWorldSunday! We've got 13 weeks to go! We can do this! :D


	40. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"So do you think it's a trap?" Mike asked, hushed, in Tom's stateroom. Tom shook his head from where he leaned against the desk.

"No, my gut tells me it's not, as much as I would like it to be so she doesn't have to go. We're still waiting on the _Seawolf_ to radio for our position. Once they do, the first thing I'll find out is who's captain of the sub now. We'll go from there." Tom explained, rubbing a hand over his face.

Mike nodded, "I'll make sure a team is ready once we know when we'll be receiving the sub. We'll scope everything out, we'll know exactly what she's walking into."

"Thanks Mike. I'm going to head down to the lab, let me know if you hear anything from the sub," Tom nodded to Mike as Mike excused himself. Tom took a moment, putting his head in his hands. If anything happened to her, he would be unable to forgive himself.

He only wasted another moment thinking about possible consequences before standing and heading out of his stateroom and down to the lab.

Opening the hatch, he saw Rachel with a clipboard in hand, making notes. She looked up when she heard the hatch. Tom gave her a small smile, walking toward her.

"How's it going?" He asked gently, touching her elbow. She shrugged, her mouth in a thin line.

"It's going," she replied blandly, making a few more notes. "I need to know how much I can bring on the submarine," she glanced up at him, and then back to her notes.

"We'll ask them when they radio us," They'd gone to the CIC and explained what was going on to a few select sailors, Kara being one of them. Her immediate reaction had been dismay, but Rachel assured her that the _Nathan James_ would be in Bangor for the delivery of the baby. "I would assume you can't bring much though, they're awfully compact."

"Have you ever been on one?" She asked him curiously, wondering what to expect. Tom laughed, shaking his head.

"I've walked around on one before, sure, but deployed on one? Hell no. Way too small for my liking," he slid his hands in his pockets. "This is much more my style."

"Great, now I really can't wait," she rolled her eyes, let out an exasperated sigh. Tom shook his head.

"You'll be fine," he pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her. He kissed the side of her head. "Don't forget, we still need to make sure this is real. You may not be going anywhere," he reminded her softly, though he really didn't think that was the case.

"I know," she rested her head against him, "I have a sick feeling this is real though," she sighed. He nodded.

"Let's take it as it comes," he soothed, rubbing her back. That was all they could do.

"Okay," she relented, just as Lt. Mason and Mike stepped through the hatch to the lab. Tom didn't release Rachel.

"Tom, Captain Turner is on the vidcom," Mike notified his friend. Tom's brow furrowed.

"Jeff Turner?"

"Yes, sir. He was captain of the _Seawolf_ before the Red Flu," Mike confirmed. They knew him well, took classes together at the academy. Tom wasn't sure whether to sigh in relief or disdain. This was real.

"Come on Rachel, let's go talk to Jeff," Tom didn't say anymore, didn't allow his face to show his emotions. He let her go, taking her hand, squeezing it reassuringly, and guiding her to his quarters to take the call.

Mason set up his computer and Tom had deja vu to the last time he'd done this-talking to Amy Granderson. He let Rachel sit in his desk chair, as Mike brought in his chair from across the p-way for Tom.

Mason brought up Captain Turner and Tom held Rachel's hand under the desk in support.

"Tom! Dr. Scott! I'm glad to see you're both well!" The other Captain greeted them across the vidcom. Rachel could tell he was about Tom's age, briefly wondered what stories he might be able to tell of a young Tom Chandler.

"Jeff, good to see you. We had no idea you were out trolling the waters this entire time," Tom admitted. He really hadn't thought that any other Navy vessels would have been at sea, since they'd been around the Atlantic quite a bit without success at finding another ship or otherwise.

"We've spent most of our time in the Pacific, and a little bit of time in the Med Sea," Jeff explained. "Now that Kitsap is back up and running completely we're heading home," his gaze shifted to Rachel, "And I hear I'm to pick you up on the way." Captain Turner had a kind smile and Rachel found herself giving him a small smile in return.

"That seems to be the plan," she replied quietly. "I'm packing my lab. How much room do you have for my supplies?"

"Oh, ma'am, we're a very tight operation. I won't have much room for anything other than you and your personal belongings. We do have a secure area for the virus strains Dr. Thompson told me you would be bringing," Jeff explained, and Rachel chewed her lip. She looked to Tom, who nodded; they'd bring her things to her on the ship.

"Very well," she replied, accepting his response.

"Jeff, you're sure the base is up and running? We've had some nasty run-ins, and we're not taking any chances," Tom was vague, but serious. Jeff nodded, his expression holding the same candor.

"Tom, I can assure you, I wouldn't be taking my men home if I wasn't absolutely sure. This is the real deal, the CDC has taken over some of the base, but it is still primarily Navy, with housing and everything. Which brings me to my next question, are you taking the _Nathan James_ to Bangor?"

"Yes. We need to refuel and get supplies, but we will be on our way behind you."

"I don't think you'll be able to use the Panama Canal," Jeff began," we can probably get through but you'll need to go up around Canada or down around Cape Horn," Jeff explained. Tom pursed his lips. That was not good news.

"Understood. I'll talk with navigations, we'll have a plan when you arrive in two days."

"Two days? We have your coordinates, we'll be there tomorrow evening," Jeff informed them. Rachel sighed, briefly closing her eyes, while Tom kept his face professional.

"All right. We'll be ready when you arrive," Tom was straight, unemotional in the moment. But he gripped Rachel's hand securely under the desk.

"Well, I won't keep you any longer. We'll see you soon!" They said their goodbyes, disconnecting the video chat. Rachel dropped her head into her free hand.

"We have one night," she whispered, peering up at him.

"I will see you again," pulled her chair toward him, spinning it to face him. Tom searched her eyes, cupping her cheek. "I'll take with Gator while you spend time with the kids, I'll have an estimated time of our arrival for you."

"All right," Rachel agreed, though she was not pleased with any of this.

"You should pack your things so we don't need to worry about them tomorrow," he wanted to be able to spend as much time with her as possible.

"I'll see you for dinner in an hour?" she checked his clock. Tom nodded, standing.

"We'll be there," he assured her with a grin. He had a stop to make first.

"I'll see you then," before she could take more than a step away, Tom grabbed her wrist gently, bringing her back to him. Rachel caught his eyes, questions in her own. He cupped her cheeks, kissing her gently, sweetly.

She melted into him, her hands resting on his wrists while she kissed him back. She was going to miss this. So much.

When Tom pulled back, she smiled lazily, as if in a daze. He kissed the tip of her nose. "I'll see you in an hour," he whispered. She nodded, turning to leave.

She went her own way and Tom walked down to the room his brother was sharing with one of the other sailors. He knocked on the door, hoping to find his little brother in there.

Jimmy pulled the door open, surprised to see his brother as this time of day. "Hey Tom," he greeted. The brothers had grown increasingly close since they'd been on the ship together-the whole Chandler clan had.

"You got a minute, brother?" Tom asked, smiling. "I have something I need to ask of you…."

XXXXX

Rachel sat between the children at dinner, enjoying their stories about their day, their adventures around the ship with Danny and Lt. Granderson. They were both in such high spirits this evening, it was breaking Rachel's heart to have to tell them what was to come.

Tom had already told his father, and Jed had let the four of them eat alone this evening, as he, Jenny, and Jimmy had been joining them as of late. But Tom wanted it to just be the four of them when the told the kids.

"Hey guys," Tom said as they ate their vanilla ice cream for dessert. "We have to tell you something about Rachel," Tom started. The kids looked at each other before they looked at Rachel and back to Tom.

"What is it?" Sam asked, curiosity on his little face.

"Is everything okay?" Tom's concerned daughter asked. Tom sighed, and Rachel took a deep breath.

"I will be going away tomorrow. I need to continue my work with the virus and the vaccine," she explained lightly to the children. "I'll be leaving tomorrow. Your dad is taking the ship there, you'll be there a little while after myself," Rachel held Ashley's hand while she ran her other hand over Sam's hair. The children looked shocked and immediately upset.

"What?" Sam exclaimed. "You can't leave!"

"You can't go! Dad, tell her she can't go!" Ashley followed suit, devastation up on her pretty little face.

"I have to go, sweet girl," Rachel said softly, squeezing her hand. "There's nothing your Daddy can do about it," She looked up to Tom, could tell her was hurting like she was at their reactions. "I'll see you soon though, don't worry."

"How soon?" Ashley demanded. Rachel looked to Tom, who didn't look pleased to have to deliver such an answer.

"It'll take us a month to get there, Ash," Tom said calmly, reaching for her hand, "due to currents and how far we have to travel to get around the tip of South America," Tom watched his daughter's reaction range from surprise to tears within moments.

"A month?" She exclaimed. Sam looked equally as upset. They'd grown to rely on this woman in place of their mother-she tucked them in at night, took care of them when they were sick. Though a month wasn't that long, to a child it was an eternity.

"Ashley, sweetie, it'll fly by before you know it," Rachel attempted to sooth her. The little girl stood, her chair screeching on the floor. Sam had practically crawled into Rachel's lap, arms secured around her waist.

"Dad, she can't go. What if we never see her again?" Tom knew where this was coming from, they carried huge fears of losing someone else they loved. They'd almost lost her once to the bullet wound, this time they'd be losing her for a period of time. And they cared about her much more now.

Rachel stood, bringing Sam with her. She wrapped her arms around each of them. "You will be in Bangor in a month, and we will all be reunited, on land. We will video chat once a week, okay?" Rachel would make sure Tom made it clear to the Captain that she needed that for the kids. "You can tell me all about your days, all of your stories. I will look so forward to it."

"Just once?" Sam whimpered at her side. Rachel kissed the top of his head.

"I've got to talk to the Captain, maybe we can do it more than once," she reasoned with the child, rubbing his back. She looked to Ashley who looked less than accepting. "Ash?"

"What?" the girl replied, crestfallen.

"I can't leave knowing your mad at me, it would break my heart," Rachel said softly. Ashley sniffled.

"You _promise_ we'll be together again?" Her chocolate eyes looked up at Rachel, so young and full of hope. Rachel nodded immediately.

"I promise," she solidified, locking her eyes with his daughter. Tom watched the exchange, knew it would be a long month for all of them. "Go get washed up and we'll snuggle and watch a movie together before bed, okay?" Rachel knew Tom still had work to do, so she could spend some quality time with the two alone. She looked forward to it.

The children went off to get ready for their movie, and Rachel sighed, sitting back down. "That hurt," she said, resting her hand on her heart.

"It'll hurt worse tomorrow, just wait," Tom said ruefully. She made a face and threw her napkin at him.

"Thank you for letting me know it'll get better," she rolled her eyes, putting her head in her hands, her elbows resting on the table. "I'm going to miss them terribly."

"And they-_we- _will miss _you_ terribly," Tom moved chairs to sit next to her, rubbing her back. "Come back to my room when you're finished with the kids," he said softly, his blue eyes searching for hers.

She locked her brown eyes with his cyan ones. "I wouldn't go anywhere else," she said truthfully, getting lost in his eyes.

Tom kissed her forehead. "I'll see you then," he said sweetly, before standing, heading back to the bridge for a few more hours. She watched him go, couldn't help the tears that filled her eyes. She'd grown so used to her life here, so comfortable with the way things were. Why didn't everything have to change, and so suddenly?

And then she realized that she, too, had changed. Instead of craving adventure, she craved stability. She peered back at the door Tom had just walked through. It was all because of _him_, and she wouldn't change it for anything.

XXXXX

**This chapter turned out shorter than I'd hoped, but that means you'll get THREE updates this week-this chapter, another chapter in the middle of the week, and another on Sunday. So hopefully that makes up for the length.**

**And the next one will be primarily Tom and Rachel ;) So woohoo to that!**

**I'm so happy people are pleased with the direction we've taken. I'm very excited to write this, and I think you'll continue to be pleased.**

**Disclaimer: I know very little about ship speed and timing, but I needed it to be a month for the story purposes, so it's a month. Not too mention, Cape Horn, South America and Bangor, Washington are not very close. But please bear with me on the creative licensing here :)**

**Thank you for the AMAZING reviews! Keep 'em coming, they keep me incredibly inspired! :D**

**PS- I've mentioned my husband a couple times as of late. Well he was a peach, and reach the first 6 chapters of the story today while I worked on this. He understands Tom and Rachel better now (though he told me if he had to read one more line about Tom's broad chest or muscled back he wasn't sure he could continue. Needless to say I'm not really sure how he'll react when he gets to chapter 16 LOL!). But he no longer ships Tex and Rachel. So we have made progress there :D**

**Thank you again for your incredible reviews, again! And thank you for reading!**


	41. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Rachel watched a movie with the children, one on each side snuggled up to her. She held them tightly to her sides, tried to laugh at the movie instead of cry at this being her last night cuddling with them. Her heart _hurt_.

She tucked them in, knew she'd at least see them the next day—this wasn't goodbye yet. She didn't cry until she left their room, in the two steps it took to get to Tom's door she was in tears. She didn't knock, just opened the door, knowing she needed to get out of the hallway, for her tears were not for public view.

Tom looked up from his paperwork when his door opened, and he knew who it was before he saw Rachel's face. Her sobbing was not something he'd expected though, at least not so soon. He was on his feet immediately, pulling her into a big hug. She sobbed into his shoulder, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Tom knew this was going to be hard on her, but he was surprised by the amount of emotion she was showing. He rubbed her back, leaned his head on hers. "Shhh," he soothed, trying to calm her.

Rachel felt like she was torn. She was torn between going on and doing what she'd set out to do and staying her, with the man she loved and the family she adored. She was struggling. She knew she didn't have the luxury of the decision to stay, but that didn't mean she didn't want to fight the system.

She cried until she felt like her eyes were burning and her throat hurt severely. She leaned back from him, wiping at her eyes, knowing her face must have been splotchy and her eyes swollen. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, chewing her lip. Tom's brow furrowed and he searched for her eyes.

"Rachel, you have nothing to be sorry for. Cry if you want to cry. I know how you're feeling right now, so please understand I know where you're coming from," he ran his hand over her hair.

It dawned on her then that he _did_ know everything she was feeling. This was part of his job. He deployed for months at a time, leaving his family behind. That didn't make it any easier but it made her feel as though he understood her now. She locked on his blue eyes, cupping his face with her small hands. She leaned forward, kissing him softly. It was a tender kiss, her lips caressing his, taking their time, memorizing the feel. His hands rested at her hips, his thumbs caressing her skin through the fabric of her shirt.

Tom enjoyed the moment and let her enjoy the moment. He needed this as much as she did because despite all, this month would one of the longest of his life.

After a long moment, Rachel deepened the kiss and he responded in kind. His hands slid around her waist, pulling her to him, and her arms wrapped up around his neck. Their kiss held heat, but it was still tender. Her tongue moved against his seamlessly, and in moments like this she would swear they were meant to fit against each other so perfectly.

He reached for the hem of her shirt, and she didn't object as she gently pulled it over her head. He only separated the kiss long enough to remove her shirt before capturing her lips once more. His hands roamed her soft skin, as hers reached for her his tee shirt. Tom let her pull it over his head, discarding it to the floor alongside hers. He pulled her back toward the bed, only separating their lips again to sit on the bed. He unbuttoned her jeans, his lips slipping along her stomach.

Rachel sucked in a breath, her eyes falling shut at the feeling of his mouth on her. Tom's hands ran over her skin, as if memorizing every inch. She would miss this, so much. She tried to push the thoughts from her head as he pushed her jeans down. She slid out of her boots and jeans and he pulled her in, laying her down gently on the bed.

Tom ran his lips down her neck, his hand resting across her exposed stomach. His thumb caressed her skin as they kissed. She reached for his sweatpants, pushing them down. She needed to be as close as possible to him, needed that comfort. She was missing him already and she wasn't even gone.

Tom rid himself of his remaining clothes, and then removed Rachel of hers. He laid down on her so softly, holding himself up with one elbow, just kissing her sweetly, her lips, her cheeks, her forehead, her neck.

She wrapped her arms around him, shifting under him, ready for what she knew he was ready to give. She bucked up her hips just a bit, letting him silently know how ready she was. And when he slid into her, she sucked in a breath at how perfect it was.

Tom buried his face in the crook of her neck for a moment, staying still, inhaling her scent. He hadn't thought he could feel this way about a woman after Darien, but as he laid here with Rachel, he knew she was it for him. She completed him, in so many ways. And letting her leave was going to cut him clean through.

She searched for his lips, bringing his head up to kiss him. It was a lingering kiss as he finally began to move within her. He stole one of her hands from his face and pressed it into the sheets lovingly, lacing his fingers through hers and holding it tightly.

Tom's mouth traveled down her neck and over her shoulders, dusting kisses. She moved against him just slightly, accepting his slow thrusts, making it more enjoyable for both of them. "I love you," he whispered against her sternum, placing a kiss there too.

She could feel the tears of love filling up her eyes and tried to push them away. She didn't want to cry again, at least not now.

Tom lifted his head to kiss her, saw her furrowed brow, the way her lips were pursed. He kissed her forehead, before moving his mouth next to her ear. "Shh, it's okay." He knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling. All he could do was comfort her best he could and he was trying so hard to do that. "Forget about it for a minute," he whispered, "enjoy the now."

She released the stress creases in her forehead, opened her eyes to catch his cyan ones. They were so full of love, so kind. A tear spilled over, and he quickly kissed it away. He kissed her again, passionately, and for a moment she did forget about what was about to happen, losing herself in his arms, in his lips.

Tom took his time, trying his best to help her forget about tomorrow. He devoured every inch of her that he could while staying inside her, and soon he had her writhing below him, whispering his name.

Rachel's eyes fell shut, her head fell back, her back arched up, but all she could see was his face in her mind, and she couldn't stop saying his name.

He held her tightly, finding his own release in her, burying his head back in the crook of her neck, surrounded by her sweet smelling hair.

She didn't move, didn't dare break the spell. This was perfection. The comfort of the weight of his body on hers, the heat he radiated, his face in her neck, his warm breath on her skin. Everything about this she wanted to take with her. It felt like _home_.

"I love you," she whispered in response, so softly he had to strain to hear it. He smiled against her neck, placing a kiss on the sensitive flesh.

After several moments, he rolled to lay behind her, pulling up the quilt at their feet to cover them. He wrapped himself around her, sharing his warmth and trying to keep her comforted. He closed his eyes. There were no more words to be said, nothing more he could say to make this go away. All he could do was hold her. They'd be in Bangor in a month. She just needed to trust that.

Rachel took slow, methodical breathes. She was completely enclosed in him, and the tightness of his arms eased the tightness in her chest. One of his thumbs caressed her arm, and it soothed her. There was so much she wanted to say but she didn't dare break the silence for fear of ruining the moment.

So instead, they lay quietly for a long while. Rachel told herself she would tell him all the things running through her head when he got to Bangor. Then they would talk about those big things. That would be her reward.

XXXXX

**Don't forget, I'll be updating on Sunday ;) This is just a little short and sweet Tom and Rachel. You'll get more soon! Here's a sneak peek...**

**_He didn't bother trying to stop the tears. He'd been trying for almost two days now, but seeing her so distraught was slowly tearing his heart apart. A few tears ran down his cheeks. _**

**_She cried harder when she saw tears running down his face. She latched her arms around his neck, hugging him so tightly. "I love you," she cried. _**

**"_I love you, Rachel," his voice was thick with emotion and he held her so tightly. _**

**Remember, reviews are love :D**


	42. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

Rachel could feel the ship come to a complete stop from where she sat in her stateroom, all her things packed. She rubbed a hand over her face. Despite sleeping so soundly entwined in Tom's arms, she was feeling emotionally drained. And the day wasn't near complete.

She walked to her sink, splashing her face with water. She needed to get a handle on herself. This wasn't the Rachel that had boarded this ship several months ago—that Rachel wasn't emotionally driven, she was scientifically, factually driven. She had been driven by her work.

This Rachel, staring at herself in the mirror was driven by something else now. Something internal, something deeper. _Love_. She knew it. Love for him, the children, his family. A love for a part of life she'd never had until now. And now she was separating herself from it. Unwillingly from a certain aspect, but still separating herself from it.

She picked up her two old, weathered leather bags and her pack, heading to the ward room where she'd be meeting Commander Turner, Captain of the _USS Seawolf_.

XXXX

Tom and Jeff sat in the ward room, catching up and going over Jeff's plan to get back to Bangor. The _Seawolf_ had also been on deployment when all Hell had broken loose at home, and they were very much in the same state as the _Nathan James_ when it came to their families and the unknown. Jeff hadn't been back to Bangor since leaving for his deployment to the Middle East.

Tom was pleased to hear Jeff's wife Tanya and their three children were safe on the base. Most of the family of the submarine crew lived on the base and were protected and quarantined. It was a huge base, several thousand sailors worked and lived there. Tom looked forward to getting back on dry land.

Tom explained their run-in with the Russians, and what happened in Baltimore briefly. He explained how it was very important to him that Rachel was protected with the utmost security during their trip to Bangor and then after, while the _Nathan James_ was in transit. He didn't tell Jeff about himself and Rachel, but it was clearly implied that she was one of the most important things he had on this ship. Nothing was to happen to her. And Jeff swore to protect her with everything he had.

Rachel entered the ward room, setting her bags down. Both men stood to greet her. She stepped toward the table.

"Rachel, this is Commander Jeff Turner," Rachel extended her hand, shaking Jeff's strong one. He was about Tom's height, broad as well, but with dark brown hair, and warm hazel eyes. She appreciated his friendly smile.

"Dr. Scott, it's wonderful to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you and what you've accomplished. Incredible job," Jeff complimented. Rachel bowed her head with a small smile.

"Thank you Commander, nice to meet you as well," she looked to Tom, who nodded once to indicate all was well. The three sat around the table.

"It'll take us a week to reach Bangor," Jeff explained. "We will be able to navigate the Panama Canal, unlike the _Nathan James_. We'll have you settled on base in no time."

Just then Jimmy entered the room, and Rachel was surprised to see him.

"Jeff, this is my brother, James," Tom said it casually, as if Jeff knew about him already. Rachel noticed Jimmy also had a pack. She looked to Tom as Jeff and Jimmy shook hands.

"I hope you're comfortable with small spaces," Jeff kidded with the younger man, who nodded with a grin.

"Unlike my big brother here, they don't bother me in the slightest," he took a seat next to Rachel, who's mouth was agape.

"Rachel, Jimmy will be joining you on your trip," Tom explained, his eyes giving her another slice of comfort. She wanted to cry with relief and kiss him right then. Her eyes said thank you a hundred times over. If she couldn't have Tom or the children, Jimmy or Jenny would have been the next best company. "He'll be your personal protection. You are not to leave his sight, understood?"

"Absolutely, Captain," she said with a small smile.

"Jimmy has been briefed by the _Seawolf's _ XO of the trip and his duties. Your quarters will be next to one another for this purpose," Tom explained further. Jimmy nodded knowingly and Rachel listened closely.

"We'll be getting underway in less an hour," Jeff said standing, "I'll meet you topside," he nodded his head to the threesome, before excusing himself. Everyone stood while he exited, and once the door was shut, Rachel's eyes flew to Tom's.

"You didn't tell me about this," her tone was one of slight relief. Tom shrugged with a small smile.

"I had to run it by Jeff first. I wasn't sure he could take another body. And I had to make sure Jimmy was willing."

Rachel turned to Tom's brother. "Thank you," she said kindly. He shook his head.

"No thanks needed, it's my pleasure. I'm glad I can help." the younger man smiled, and Rachel could see so much of Jed and Tom in that grin. She would be less lonely now.

"I'm serious though Rachel. Do _not_ leave his sight except to sleep. He is to be with you at all times." Tom's look was serious, grave even. "He is armed, and will be at all times. If you suspect anything, he is prepared to handle it. You are his number one priority."

"I understand, Tom," she said softly, his words scaring her a little. She'd had security before, there was always an armed guard on her lab, but this was personal, and different. She would be in the open waters on an enclosed submarine with people she didn't know, and then on a quarantined base with people she only hoped she could still trust. If something happened and she couldn't trust them, Jimmy would be her only source of protection. She prayed nothing happened.

Tom check his watch. "We should probably gather the kids and take them to the deck, you'll be leaving soon," his voice was soft, somber. She could tell in his face he had no interest in saying goodbye. She didn't either.

"I'll get them," Jimmy offered, picking up his pack. Tom nodded his thanks. When Jimmy was gone, he pulled Rachel around the table, embracing her tightly. She couldn't stop the tears as he hugged her. She wasn't ready for this—she needed more time.

"I don't want to go," she whispered. He nodded against her head.

"I know, honey," he replied just as softly, his own throat tight with emotion.

"I'm going to miss you and the children so much," she sobbed into his chest. He put his hand on her head, rubbing her hair, trying to sooth her, though his own feelings were starting to pull at him.

"We will miss you more than you know. It's a month. We can do a month apart," his words were choked up.

"A month feels like forever."

"You went four without speaking to me in the beginning," he teased a little, a tear escaping his eyes at the memory.

"I don't know how," she confessed, her shoulders shaking against him.

"I don't either. But just think about how great it'll be when we see each other again. And once we are docked, we don't have to go anywhere else for a long time. We'll just be together."

His words gave her comfort. She leaned back to search his blue eyes, saw the raw emotion there, the red lines underneath. "You promise?"

He didn't bother trying to stop the tears. He'd been trying for almost two days now, but seeing her so distraught was slowly tearing his heart apart. A few tears ran down his cheeks. "I promise," he said with a faint smile despite the tears.

She cried harder when she saw tears running down his face. She latched her arms around his neck, hugging him so tightly. "I love you," she cried.

"I love you, Rachel," his voice was thick with emotion and he held her so tightly. They stood this way for a long moment, both wishing things were different.

Tom finally pulled back, wiping her tears with his thumbs gently. "We have to go, the children are waiting."

She didn't dare speak, just nodded, releasing him. He swiped at his own tears, grabbing her bags. She grabbed her pack and they walked silently to the deck.

The children ran to her as soon as they saw her, wrapping their little arms around her. She dropped to her knees, embracing them both.

"Don't go, Rachel," Sam cried into her shoulder.

"Please don't do," Ashley sobbed, gripping Rachel so tightly. She knew these children no loss like no other, but also that devastation of distance and silence. More tears streamed down her own face.

Tom watched the scene, biting his cheek to keep from losing it.

Rachel leaned back from them, cupping one of each of their cheeks with her hands. "Be good for you father, help around the cabins and the ship as best you can. Stay busy and we'll be together before you know it." She gave the biggest smile she could muster. The children nodded dutifully.

"We will," Ashley replied, though her voice was small. Rachel wiped their tears, standing and kissing their foreheads.

"We'll be together so soon. And we'll video chat this week. It'll be okay," she soothed, hugging them against her one more time. She finally released them, knowing she needed to go. Jimmy had already taken her bags from Tom and taken them aboard. Rachel said her goodbyes to Kara and Danny, Christine and the girls, Mike, Burk, Tex and others. Jed hugged her so tight, giving her well-wishes and a small laugh. Jenny assured her Kara would be in careful hands, and promised to look after the children during her absence, and not teach them too many bad habits. And then she was back to Tom, who's face was an attempt at a stoic she'd never seen before. She stepped toward him, knew he was putting on a show. As soon as she was close, his eyes softened and watered.

"A month," she said in a deep breath.

"30 days," he confirmed. "Be safe," he said with a small smile, repeating the words that had pushed her over the edge back when she left for Deer Park. They actually roused a tearful laugh from her.

"Thomas," she warned, before his hands rested on her cheeks and he leaned into her lips, with a soft, gentle kiss, the kiss he should have given her before she left the first time. He didn't care who saw anymore. None of that mattered. This was all about them.

When he pulled back, he memorized her face. "I love you, and I _will_ see you soon," he solidified quietly one last time. She nodded, holding the words in her heart.

"I love you too. I'll be waiting," She hugged him one last time, so tight. He kissed her hair, tried to bottle up that rich vanilla scent she always had.

"You have to go," Tom could see Jimmy waiting patiently, but knew it was time. He released her, kissed her once more, and squeezed her hands.

"Goodbye, Tom," a few tears escaped, but the faint smile told him she'd be okay.

"See you soon, Rachel," he nodded to her, letting her hands slip from his as she walked away. With one last loving glance, she was down the side of the ship.

Tom reached for the kids, and they left Jed to be at his side, hugging him, crying. Tom did his best to sooth them, did his best to ease their tears, rubbing their backs. He could foresee a long night for everyone.

XXXX

**Next chapter you'll get some insight into Rachel's journey aboard the _USS Seawolf_, as well as finding out how things are going on the _Nathan James_. I'm not giving a sneak peek because I don't want to give anything away ;-)**

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! I am so happy you're all on board with this! And thank you to my husband for letting me write this while we're on vacation. He knows how important it is to me that I post for you guys. Though when I told him about Rhona and John-Pyper Ferguson doing WonderCon interviews together (mind you I was being a Tom/Rachel shipper about it) he told me he firmly believes Tex is the Sawyer to Rachel's Kate. If you watched LOST, you'll know what he means. If you didn't, he was basically saying Season 2 will be about Rachel and Tex. I did not accept that, needless to say!**

**I also know I owe quite a few of you reviews on your stories, hang in there! I'll get them to you, I promise! **

**Thank you again for reading and reviewing! I can't wait for the next few chapters! :D**


	43. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

"Be careful, the stairs can be slick," Captain Turner said to Rachel over his shoulder. Jimmy was behind her to grab her in case she slipped. They went down into the sub, and Rachel could immediately feel the difference between the large ship and this confined torpedo-shaped vessel. She wanted to go back, wanted to change her mind, but she knew it was too late.

The p-ways were narrow, but the submarine was filled with life. Everyone she and Jimmy met along their way was very kind. They stopped by a few staterooms.

"These two rooms will be yours for our short trip. Dr. Scott, I've got you settled by yourself, James you'll be with one of our coms men. If either of you need anything at all, let me know directly. The wardroom is down that way to the left, you'll find it similar to the _Nathan James'_." Jeff explained about the shower and the meal schedule before letting the two get acquainted with their surroundings. They were about to dive, their trip getting underway. Rachel felt sick. This was it.

As Jeff left them, Jimmy could tell by the white pallor of Rachel's face she didn't feel well. He stepped forward, resting a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You okay?" his voice was quiet, not calling attention to them from the passing crew. Rachel nodded, swallowing.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Thank you Jimmy," She offered him a small smile. "I'm going to lay down a while and then we'll get dinner?" She knew she needed to tell him her every step through this next month. He smiled and nodded, squeezing her shoulder before dropping his hand.

"Okay. I'll do the same. If you need anything, I'm right here," his words were meant in comfort and she appreciated them.

"Thank you," she said again before stepping inside the small stateroom. She looked around, it looked so much like her other one, just smaller. She sighed, setting her back down, her other bags already there. She didn't bother to unpack just yet, she needed to lay down. She closed her eyes, praying sleep would come.

XXXX

Tom lay on his bed, Ashley on one side, Sam on the other, both wrapped around him. He had an arm around either of them, holding them tightly. It had been a rough evening, both children had been distraught over Rachel's departure. Tom did everything he could to comfort them, short of bringing the woman back. Which was the only thing that would comfort him right now.

He wasn't used to being the one left behind, he had always done the leaving. Every deployment it was him leaving. Now he knew how it felt to be on the other side of things. The goodbye still sat so heavy in his heart, her face so fresh on his mind. He wished he had a picture of her, besides the one in her file. One of her pretty smile.

The children were now asleep, and he was left alone with his thoughts. He closed his own eyes, willing his thoughts away. He wanted to sleep. Tomorrow would be better, and it was one day they were closer to seeing one another again.

XXXX

The first two days were rough for Rachel. Without her lab and her work, she found herself very bored. That mixed with this sudden bought of what seemed like seasickness, she was really struggling. She put on a good face for Jimmy though, was determined not to let anyone know her stomach seemed to have an aversion to being so far under water.

She was, however, learning so much about submarines and the difference between them and the destroyer. This submarine was a nuclear-powered, fast attack submarine, part of the _Seawolf_ class. She was large, fast, and extremely quiet. Stealth was her middle name. And everything Rachel was learning made her a beautiful example of the capabilities of the US Navy. She felt safe in the hands of the team she was surrounded by.

She'd met the handful of women on board the sub, had enjoyed tea with them. They were all highly trained in their skills—they reminded her of Andrea and Kara. She missed her friends, but she was glad she had other female company.

She was also passing time until she was able to use the Commander's office to video conference with Tom and the children. Jeff had been able to radio the ship and secure a time for the two to have a few moments via the vid-com. She was counting down the minutes until it was time. She couldn't wait to see his face again; two days had already been too long.

XXXX

"Kids!" Tom checked his watch for the fifth time in less than a minute. He was trying to get them settled in their pajamas, ready for bed, before Rachel connected with them on the vid-com. They were overly excited, and rambunctiously running from one stateroom to the other. Tom stood by his desk, hands on his hips, waiting for them to meet him back in his room.

Giggling, with the biggest smiles he'd seen, they came flying into the stateroom, pushing each other playfully, each one trying to get to their father first. Tom raised an eyebrow, laughing at the pair. "Easy guys, you'll both get to talk to her," he encouraged, showing them to their seats as Mason finished setting up the call. He looked to the young sailor, offering an apologetic grin. "They're a little excited," he spoke ruefully. Mason shook his head with a laugh.

"It's fine, sir," he typed in a few codes and the video came right up. "Once she calls in, the video feed will come right up," he explained. Tom nodded.

"Thank you, Mason," he spoke with a friendly tone. Mason nodded, standing to be excused.

"I'll be in CIC if you need anything further, Captain," he said before stepping out, shutting the door behind him. The video feed started to snow and the kids started bouncing up and down in their seats.

"Dad! It's happening!" Ashley exclaimed, her excitement evident. Rachel began to form on the screen and Tom's heart felt as ease he hadn't felt since she'd left. He sat down in the middle of the two children as the picture cleared and Rachel sat practically across from them.

"Children! Tom! I'm so happy to see you!" Rachel covered her mouth, her joy so evident. They looked just the same—it had only been two days, but two days that felt like an eternity.

"Rachel!" Sam practically shouted, his face lit up. Ashley clapped her hands together.

"We miss you!" she yelled at the same time. Rachel laughed out as their excitement.

"I miss you all so much," she responded, leaning forward, trying to see them better. Her feed was a little blurry.

"Only 28 more days!" Sam informed her, holding up a calendar he had made on paper. Tom let the children talk first, just content to watch her and listen to their exchange. Seeing her was good for his soul.

"I know sweetie! I'm counting down too." Rachel smiled lovingly at the pair. "I love your calendar," she complimented the boy, who glowed at her words. "Ashley, how is Kara?" she had given the young girl the task of keeping an eye on their pregnant friend.

"She's good! He's kicking now! I felt him today!"

"Really? That must have been just amazing," Rachel tried not to be homesick, tried not to show them how sad she was. She wished she was there to feel it.

They chatted a few more minutes, and Rachel tried to remember every word. They wouldn't be able to talk again until she arrived in Bangor, they'd be too far away to get a clear signal at that point. That was only five days. That wasn't all that long, she tried to tell herself.

Tom couldn't take his eyes off her pretty face. Her hair was completely down, long and thick. Her gray sweatshirt looked so comfortable, she looked content. He did notice the dark circles under her eyes, but he couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like to sleep on a submarine. He'd ask her about her sleep once the children were gone.

"All right, guys. Say goodnight to Rachel. We'll talk to her again in a few days," he put a hand on each shoulder, and their faces turned from joy to sadness.

"But Dad.."

"Dad, not yet!"

"Ashley, Sammy, we'll chat in a few days," Rachel tried to soothe their antics from her place on the other side of the monitor. Both children nodded sadly. "Sam, will you mark off every day on your calendar for me? Ashley, keep a journal on how active the baby is, that's very important," she hoped the tasks would encourage them. They both nodded dutifully.

"Okay." Sam said meekly.

"I will," Ashley replied quietly. Both their faces were so sullen.

"Say goodnight to Rachel," Tom encouraged them gently. He hated seeing their sad little faces, it was breaking his heart again, as if he needed that.

"Goodnight, Rachel," they both chimed, standing.

"Goodnight, loves," She said quietly, feigning a smile as they retreated. Tom gave her the one minute signal and she waited, spinning a small silver ring on her finger, waiting for his return. She heard his door shut and she looked back up to see him sitting back down. She gave him a soft smile, his face as handsome as ever.

He returned the smile, rested his elbows on the chair, linking his fingers. "It's good to see you," he said sweetly. She blushed under his gaze. He could do that even hundreds of miles away.

"It's good to see you too. I miss you," she breathed, her eyes locked on his azul ones. So many emotions were flowing through her system, and then there was that sickness once more. She tried to swallow it. Maybe it was anxiety? She'd need to read up about this later. Now she just needed to focus on Tom. She tried to put the feeling away.

"I miss you more than I can say," he admitted, looking down a moment, spinning his class ring on his finger. When he looked back up, his eyes were watery and she silently cursed him.

"Tom, please," Rachel could feel her own eyes tearing up, and that sick feeling again…she sniffled.

"Are they treating you okay?" He focused on her eyes, the glassiness of them pulling at him.

"Yes, everyone has been wonderful," she told him truthfully, "James has been a Godsend, he's such a wonderful young man. You really have quite the family," she told him, her eyes full of love. Tom laughed a little.

"Don't go falling for him, now. I know he's younger and all, but I promise he's no Tom Chandler," Tom found a laugh somewhere from within and Rachel laughed in return, needing that laugh more than the air she breathed.

"Well, he is awfully handsome, and his stamina…well…" the playful words got her a glare, and she laughed again.

"Do not talk about my little brother and his stamina in the same sentence ever again," he made a disgusted face, before looking back at her, that loving look returning. "Seriously, he's been with you every minute?"

She nodded, admiring his need to know she was safe, "Yes, he's right outside the door," Rachel nodded toward the closed stateroom door. Tom nodded.

"Good," he was pleased to hear that. "When we get to Bangor, I'm taking you on a real date, I've decided." He informed her, changing the subject. She smiled brightly at his words.

"Yeah?"

"Yes. I don't know what it'll be yet, but I'll make sure it's good."

"I have no doubt it'll be exceptional," she said encouragingly, thinking about all the wonderful things they could do on dry land. "Even if it was just a movie on a real couch with popcorn," she could see it in her mind's eyes. He grinned.

"That does sound great," his words were heartfelt, and she again felt tears well up in her eyes. She knew her time was almost up. She looked up at the clock.

"I wish I could kiss you goodbye one more time," she confessed quietly.

"What? The last one I gave you wasn't good enough?" he teased, trying to keep the mood light. She laughed a little, though it turned into a small sob.

"I don't know, I'd like to compare," she teased in response, her eyes searching his. A tear escaped and she wiped at it quickly.

"Rach, where's that tough, sassy Dr. Scott?" He spoke playfully. He couldn't sit here and watch her cry and not be able to hold her. She was killing him.

"I think she turned into a ball of mush the moment you danced with her at Kara and Danny's wedding," she told him, a smile on her sad face, but her words honest. He laughed a little.

"I could piss you off, maybe then you'd be pleased to not talk to me for five more days. I tend to be good at such feats….," He winked at her, using that charm she always talked about.

"You keep at it and you will," she sniffled a little, a small laugh on her lips. "Please tell your father and Jenny I say hello."

"I will, they send their own hellos," he glanced at his watch. They had to end the transmission.

"I miss you," she said again, quietly, her eyes driving into his. He kept the contact, nodding.

"I miss you," he replied just as quietly.

"We'll chat when I'm settled at Kitsap," she solidified, fighting tears.

"Please let me know as soon as you arrive. I'll want to know you're safe and that all is well. Remember, let Jimmy go ashore first. And stay with him and Jeff until you're settled," it tore at him he couldn't be there for that, didn't like the idea of her going on land without him, when no one knew entirely what they would find. He tried to push away the worry for the last moment of their conversation.

"I will do everything as we discussed. I will not run after injured children and get shot," she assured him, finding another laugh from somewhere deep within. He laughed himself, shaking his head.

"You had better not, or Jimmy will be in serious trouble," Tom warned, his face grave. Rachel laughed a little more.

"I love how you'll blame Jimmy for that," she teased, her tears forgotten for a moment.

"It was his fault the first time," Tom defended, scoffing. Rachel laughed again.

"Only because I put myself in his crosshairs," she argued. Tom shook his head.

"Regardless, behave yourself, all right?" His tone was soft again, the worry lines across his handsome face ceasing for a moment.

"I will, I promise," she tried to comfort him. She wanted to hug him again, though that feeling never really went away.

Mason knocked once on Tom's door, indicating it was time to wrap up. Tom sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Mason is telling me I have to go," he said regretfully. Rachel nodded.

"We'll talk soon," Rachel knew they didn't have a choice but to end the call.

"I love you," Tom said the words with everything he had. She nodded, fighting back more tears suddenly. _God damn these tears,_ she argued with herself.

"I love you, Tom," she replied, holding it together long enough for the line to go dead. She dropped her head into her hands, fighting the seasickness and the tears. She took a few deep breaths.

Tom clicked off the monitor, covered his face with his hands. He knew this pain, knew this feeling of missing someone so much it hurt. He had missed Darien that way for so many years, still did. But now it was real again with Rachel, very real and very painful. Twenty-eight more days. He could do anything for twenty-eight days.

XXXX

Rachel stood after a few long moments of gathering herself, making her way to the doorway. When she opened it, Jimmy stood on the other side, offering her a small smile.

"How is everyone?" He asked kindly. She smiled, albeit a small one.

"They're all good. Things are going just fine," she said quietly.

"You okay?" he asked, surveying her face. He could tell she hadn't been herself the last two days, but chocked it up to her missing his brother and the kids. That still didn't stop him from checking on her.

"Yeah, I just can't get over this nausea. I think I prefer the ship to this underwater living," she quipped, rubbing her stomach. Jimmy looked at her sympathetically.

"Why don't we take you down to sickbay? Get you something to help with that?" He suggested, gauging her reaction. Tom had told her all about how stubborn she could be.

"No, let's just see if we can find some ginger tea on this vessel," she suggested instead. She didn't want any special treatment, didn't want to be a burden. Her body would eventually get used to this, she knew.

"All right," Jimmy looked at her wearily before resigning to the fact she wasn't going to change her mind. "After you," he stepped back, letting her lead the way to the wardroom.

They didn't have ginger tea, but she settled for a ginger ale and a piece of toast. They sat in silence a few moments, before Rachel finally spoke first.

"So you chose Army because of your father?" She asked curiously, looking at the younger man before her. He nodded, a small grin on his handsome features. Rachel admired how much he looked like Tom.

"Yes ma'am. I looked up to him so much, as soon as I was old enough I joined," he explained. She digested his words.

"Despite Tom joining the Navy?" she inquired, trying to better understand the family dynamic.

"Tom was much closer to our mother, he and my father bumped heads quite a bit. Tom and I weren't that close growing up, he and Jenny were closer," Jimmy explained of him and his brother. "He looked out for me like an older brother would, but we just didn't really see eye to eye on a lot. I am more like my father in a lot of ways," Jimmy sipped his own coffee, and Rachel marveled at the similarities between the two men. They were probably more alike that they realized.

"Where does Jenny fit it?"

"Jenny is just…being the middle child made her a bit wild. She was always in trouble, but yet she was so smart she always did well in school while giving my parents gray hair. Between her and Tom, my parents had very little patience. I was probably the easiest of the three of us."

"What did Tom do to give your parents gray hair?" Rachel was thoroughly enjoying this new side of Jimmy, and the Chandlers. Jimmy laughed.

"My brother was just always pushing the limit. If my father said no, he's always take it one farther. If my mother said no, he always listened, or at least never let her know when he didn't. When my father said no, we all knew Tom didn't listen," he shook his head at the memories of the squabbles, "Don't get me wrong, he never really did anything really wrong, per say, he was just strong-willed and stubborn. Much like he is now," Jimmy explained with a laugh. Rachel could appreciate that sentiment.

"Yes, your brother is very stubborn," she knew first hand just how much. Jimmy nodded, laughing.

"I'm sure working with him in the beginning was difficult. He seems to run a tight ship."

"Oh yes, you have no idea. Whatever the Captain says, goes. Doesn't leave a lot of room for argument, and he's not always the best listener," she confessed with another chuckle.

"Well, yes, that's the truth. But he's loyal to a fault."

"Your sister said that too," she remarked, tilting her head thoughtfully. These three were very in tune with one another. She admired that in a family. Having been an only child, she didn't really get to experience that. It was nice to see.

"It's true," Jimmy took another sip of his coffee, "He's happy with you." He stated, turning the cup in his hands. Rachel was surprised by the statement, didn't say anything for a moment. "For Darien to have died, and for him to have come back from that, after everything that happened, that's a miracle. For him to have fallen for someone else, someone like yourself, that's pretty incredible. I'm glad he found you," Jimmy looked up and she caught his blue eyes, her heart swelling at his words.

"Thank you, Jimmy. It was not an easy road to get here, but I am so fortunate to have your brother," she told him, smiling. Jimmy nodded.

"You two are a great match. Anyone can see it when you're together. And the kids have really taken to you. They talk all about you," he told her, "It'll be interesting to see how this all plays out once we're all permanently on land together," he confessed his curiosity.

Rachel nodded, she'd been thinking about that endlessly. "Yes, it'll be different," she admitted. She was apprehensive, change seemed to be making her nervous these days.

"Don't worry, it'll be a good different, a settled different," his tone was calm and she appreciated it. She felt like such a ball of nerves these days. She was glad, once more, that he was with her.

"Thank you, Jimmy," she said wholeheartedly. "I'm glad you're here," she grinned at love's younger brother.

"Me too. I was getting pretty bored on that ship, this is way more exciting," he leaned back in the chair, surveying their surroundings. Rachel looked around and felt that queasy feeling again.

"I'll be pleased when we get to Bangor," she said, her mouth in a tight line.

Jimmy looked back at her, trying to read her expression. "Are you sure you don't want to go down to sickbay—"

"James, I'm fine." She cut him off with a sharp look. He laughed, holding his hands up.

"Fine, fine," he said, resigned, "And I thought my brother was stubborn…," she gave him a look and threw her napkin at him. He ducked, laughing.

She was very thankful for his company. If she couldn't have Tom, Jimmy would do just fine. It was definitely better than being alone.

XXXXX

_Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I think you'll be pleased with the next one as well ; )_

_Scousedancer informed me that Rhona said herself that decisions about character relationships are taken based upon social media responses. That being said, I think we need to jump in on this now for Season 3. Who's with me?!_

_I'm thinking of creating a twitter for this story under my penname. Is anyone interested? Would you follow? I'm going to post a poll, please vote and let me know your thoughts! We need people to know about the videos, the stories, and the general desire for Tom/Rachel, not Tex/Rachel._

_I look forward to your thoughts on the chapter and your vote on the poll! I could also post snippets and update info, which might be helpful for y'all ; ) Let me know!_

_Happy #SaveTheWorldSunday! Only 10 weeks left! :D_


	44. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Day six on the sub was no better than day two. She was definitely not herself, and without much to focus on to get her mind off of the seasickness, she was a bit out of sorts.

She had tried different methods of easing it, but nothing was working. And she hadn't actually been ill, she was just constantly nauseous. Maybe it was anxiety. She didn't know for sure.

Jimmy knocked on her door and she didn't even bother to lift her head from the flat pillow to call out for him. "Come in," she said from her place on her side. She was not one to show weakness, but she was sick. And had no way to remedy the situation.

Jimmy stepped into the dim cabin, saw her laying on the bed. He was immediately concerned. Rachel still wasn't any better, and they'd been at this for six days now. Every day she seemed to only get worse if anything. He pulled up a chair, the younger man sitting down, resting his elbows on his knees, leaning toward her.

"Tom would not be pleased," was how he decided to begin the conversation. She mustered a smile.

"Tom wouldn't know what to do with seasickness," she teased quietly in reply.

"Rachel, I don't think this is seasickness. You must have a virus or something," he broached the subject gently, not wanting to upset her further.

"We dock first thing tomorrow, I will be fine once we're on land," she smiled up at the younger Chandler, patting his knee from where she lay.

"If you're not better by the next day, we're seeing a doctor. No question. Tom will have my ass if something happens to you," Jimmy warned her, his face serious. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm not dying, Jimmy. I'll be fine." She reassured him. She believed she would be. Fifteen more hours and they'd be docked. She could make it that long.

"All right," he replied wearily, eyeing her. "You've got two days after we dock and I'm making you go to the doctor if you're not better."

"Yes, father," she sassed him, rolling on to her back. He chuckled.

"Tom and I are going to have a great catch up conversation when the ship gets to Bangor." Jimmy stood, pushing the chair back to its original place. She glared at him through the dimness.

"You had better not tell him a word," she threatened. He laughed again.

"We'll see," he replied easily, opening the door. "Let me know if you need anything." He left her alone, still worrying about her. This didn't seem like the Rachel he had met prior to this trip. He hoped she would be all right, because if not, he knew he was in for a world of trouble.

Rachel sighed as the door clicked shut, covering her face. This was not what she had hoped this trip would be like, the unwavering anxiety and sickness. She was not having any fun, and was not looking forward Bangor at the moment, unless she was going to feel better. Otherwise, this felt like sort of torture. She closed her eyes and thought back to the ship. If she couldn't be with him, she could remember their moments together.

XXXXX

The next morning Rachel found the Captain of the submarine in the ward room. Jeff was nursing a cup of coffee and Rachel noted he look exhausted. She couldn't lie, she felt the same.

He looked up to her, nodding his head as he greeted her with a friendly 'Good morning'. She grinned lightly, grabbing a mug off the rack and heading to the hot water basin.

"Good morning, Captain," she greeted in return, pouring some hot water over a tea bag.

"I'm sorry we haven't really been able to catch up over these past few days, it's been a little chaotic," his tone was apologetic as he sipped his coffee. She sat down a few chairs away, shaking her head.

"I definitely know what you're referring to, and really, it's fine," her smile was warm, and she did understand first-hand the kind of chaos he was referring to.

"You and Tom, you're close," he presumed, eyeing her from where he sat. Rachel chewed the inside of her cheek, unsure of how to answer at first, "I mean, he wouldn't have sent his _brother _as your bodyguard if you weren't," his smile was kind and she in turn decided maybe it was safe to at least acknowledge something.

"We are, Captain," she stated simply, her eyes meeting his. He chuckled a little at her response.

"He thinks very highly of you," he remarked, "Your safety and wellbeing was of the utmost importance on this trip. I assured him you would be just fine, though I hear you've had a bit of a bout of seasickness." Rachel made a mental note to give Jimmy a hard time for saying anything to the Captain.

"It's nothing, just not used to being on a submarine, I suppose," she dipped the teabag in the hot water, urging it to steep. He shrugged.

"Well, you'll be on land by lunchtime," he assured her.

"Thank you Captain," she said softly. She was ready to be off this boat, but did appreciate their hospitality. "You went to the academy with Tom?"

"Mmhmm," Jeff's eyes looked far away for a moment. "We had several classes together, played baseball together. Tom was quite the athlete, had a great swing."

"Really? He never talked about playing baseball," she said thoughtfully, sure she had only heard about Sam playing little league. Jeff shrugged a little.

"He threw his shoulder out throwing a guy out at third our junior year, never played again," Jeff informed her. "It didn't hurt him in his training, but it took him out of the game, and by the time he recovered, he was spending more time with Darien than he was us," the Commander laughed a little, before realizing what he'd said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring her up," he apologized kindly.

Rachel waved him off lightly, "Oh, really, it's fine Captain. She was a large part of their lives, and she created those two wonderful children. No need to apologize," truth be told, it really did not bother her when anyone brought up Darien. She'd be commonplace in their relationship, always. And out of respect for Tom, the children, and Darien's memory, she would never want anyone to not talk about the woman. She'd only heard wonderful things, and she'd raised two beautiful children, there was no reason not to talk about her.

"Did you ever meet her?" Jeff asked curiously, surveying the pretty British doctor. Rachel shook her head.

"No, I didn't. I've only seen pictures and heard stories."

"Well, you would have liked her, and she would have liked you," he was thoughtful for a moment, before speaking again. "Tom is a good husband, by the book. Loyal, hardworking. My wife used to ask me why I didn't bring her flowers every week like Tom did for Darien. The guys always gave him a hard time because of how bad he made us all look. I mean, don't get me wrong, he had his moments. This one time we all went out for Mike's bachelor party, and Tom got riproaring drunk, and ended up on my couch, instead of going home. Darien was furious with him for not telling her where he was. She showed up at my house the next morning, and when she found him on the couch…despite her relief, she left him have it. We were all dying laughing, and he left behind her like a scolded puppy. It was pretty funny," she could see the laughter in his eyes, and was sure a hungover Tom being yelled at would be an entertaining sight. Jeff was right, he was a very good man. He'd made his mistakes, but they were minor. In the big picture, the man was very, very good.

She definitely couldn't complain.

"I bet that would be a scene to watch," Rachel laughed a little, her stomach still a bit queasy.

"You won't be disappointed," Jeff added, grinning at Rachel. Her cheeks pinked and she shook her head.

"Oh Captain, we're not getting married," she managed out, the heat rising up her neck. Jeff laughed. Before he could respond, over the intercom he was called to the bridge. He raised an eyebrow at Rachel.

"Saved this time, Dr. Scott," he said playfully, standing. "I'll see you topside shortly. If you need help with your things, let one of the officers know, they'd be happy to assist you." He said his goodbyes, leaving her alone in the ward room just briefly before Jimmy strolled in, his own cup of coffee in hand. She rolled her eyes.

"You're everywhere," she commented, leaning back in her chair. The younger man whistled a happy tune before sitting across from her.

"That's my job," he grinned, sizing her up. "I spoke with the XO, once we get off the sub, we'll be escorted to your living arrangements and then to the lab," Jimmy informed her.

"Living arrangements?" she repeated curiously. He shrugged.

"I don't know what it is, hopefully it's nice considering you saved the world and all," he teased her a little, him smile reminding her of Tom's. She missed him.

"I did not save the world," she teased, in return, smirking. He rolled his eyes.

"You're working on it. Semantics," he waved his hand, dismissing the topic. "Regardless, we'll get you settled and let you relax before you hit the ground running."

"I really do need to get to work," she attempted to argue. Jimmy was unimpressed.

"Rachel, this is not negotiable. I'll call my brother," he started, crossing his arms. Rachel narrowed her eyes. She knew he was kidding but she honestly wouldn't put it past him.

"Fine." Rachel mumbled, sipping her tea. Jimmy gave a satisfied smile.

"I'm going to finish gathering my things, you'll be all right here?" Jimmy asked, turning toward the door before turning back to her. She nodded.

"Yes, I'm all ready to go. I'll meet you topside when we dock," she gave him a reassuring grin. He nodded.

"Okay, see you shortly," she sat at the table as he left, spinning the small silver ring on her pinky finger as she had been since she left the ship. It had become a source of comfort for her, a piece of the little girl whom she missed terribly. She played the moment over and over again in her mind, and each time it made her heart swell. She missed the children so very much.

"_All right, children, settle down," Rachel laughed a little at their antics, each child trying to one-up the other on stories they were telling her before bed. She honestly was forgetting that she was leaving the next day, their stories full of entertaining antics and innocent plots. Rachel sat on the edge of the bed as Sam leaned against her, Ashley sitting in front of her cross-legged, holding her hands. _

"_Rachel, I have to give you something," Ashley moved momentarily, grabbing something from the shelf on the headboard. She put it in Rachel's palm, a small piece of fabric that Ashley had used as wrapping paper. Rachel inspected the small item, looking at Ashley with a sweet smile. _

"_You didn't have to get me anything," she began, slowly unwrapping the small present. What she found inside was a small silver ring with a silver heart on it. Tears immediately filled her dark eyes. "Ashley, it's beautiful."_

"_My mom gave it to me one day when I was sad because a friend of mine was moving. I thought I'd give it to you since you're moving for a little while," Ashley explained, her brown eyes wide and honest. Rachel cupped the young girl's cheek. _

"_Sweetheart, I cannot take a ring you mother gave you," Rachel said ever-so-softly, "this is an important memento, Ashley," the little girl leaned into Rachel's touch. _

"_I know, but I really want you to have it. So you won't forget me."_

"_Or me!" Sam chimed in, looking up from where he leaned against Rachel's shoulder. She raised her eyebrows, looking back and forth between the two children._

"_How could I ever forget either of you? Not to mention we'll be together again soon enough. Think about how long your daddy's deployments have been, this month will go by so fast," she tried to reassure them, holding Sam tightly to her side, while rubbing Ashley's shoulder. _

"_Please take the ring," Ashley said quietly, looking at Rachel as if her little life depended on Rachel taking the small gift. Rachel looked at the ring again, and back at Ashley. _

"_If you're sure, love," Rachel needed to make sure she wasn't taking something so important to the young child. Ashley nodded adamantly. _

"_I'm sure." _

_Rachel slid the silver band on her pinky finger, admiring how pretty it was indeed. She was so touched by the gesture. "I will wear it every moment the three of us are apart, but as soon as I see you again, I'm giving it back," she told Ashley with a small smile on her lips. Ashley seemed to contemplate the offer before nodding. _

"_Deal," the young girl nodded, a smile growing on her pretty face. Rachel kissed Sam's head and squeezed Ashley's hand. _

Rachel came back to reality as she heard the rumblings that land was now in sight from a few passing crewmembers. She wiped her eyes with her hand quickly, not wanting to leave any remnants of the tears that had been attempting to fall. She missed their little faces. She couldn't wait for the next three weeks to fly by. She sincerely hoped they would.

XXXXX

Jimmy and Rachel were among the first off the submarine. Both stopped as their feet hit the large port's dock, surveying the bustling Navy base. It was as though the pandemic had never hit; people were everywhere, in uniform. They looked at each other, and looked back before them. The base was large and expanded all they could see. A large aircraft carrier sat to their left, and a few more submarines were docked to their right. Rachel couldn't believe her eyes. This was an incredible find. And for the first time since this had all happened, she felt true hope that everything would eventually be all right.

Richard Thompson was waiting for her at the end of the dock, along with several colleagues she knew from her time with the CDC. Jimmy stood cautiously by as they embraced.

"Rachel! I cannot believe you made it!" Jimmy sized up the older gentleman. He was tall, probably in his 50s, thin, with gray hair and glasses. He and Rachel seemed to know each other well as they chatted, and Jimmy felt better about their being here. "We're very excited to get you settled, we are so anxious to hear of your progress, and how you created and tested the vaccine," Richard said, his voice conveying his excitement. Rachel looked a bit overwhelmed and Jimmy suspected this was a lot for her to take in.

"I look forward to seeing the lab as well, we have so much work to do," Rachel replied, looking again at the expansive property. The other doctor laughed.

"I suspect you'll be pleased with the build out, compared to what you've been making due with upon that ship," Richard chuckled, "Come, let us show you to your house and then we'll take you to the lab." Jimmy grabbed her things as Richard began toward a humvee. Rachel followed slowly.

"House?" She repeated, questioning, her eyebrows knit together. Richard turned back toward her, nodding with a grin.

"Oh yes, Rachel. You have a lovely house waiting for you with a fantastic view. I suspect you'll be pleased with that as well," he turned back, closing the short distance to the Humvee. Rachel followed, a bit dumbfounded. Jimmy leaned toward her, grinning.

"I knew they would treat you like a queen," he said quietly. Rachel shook her head with a grin, her cheeks flushing a little.

"Oh shush," she nudged the young Chandler with her elbow and he just laughed.

The Humvee ride was about ten minutes long, pulling down a street lined with beautiful cookie-cutter houses. Rachel couldn't believe how normal everything looked, how pretty the homes were, complete with flowerbeds, flags, and young children playing in the yards. She had a hard time processing that this was possible. After everything they'd seen and all they'd been through, it didn't seem possible to find a utopia in this destroyed world. But here it seemed it was.

Jimmy was still cautious, gun at the ready as they traveled. Though the place seemed safe enough, he still couldn't let his guard down.

They came to a stop in front of a light blue, two story house with white trim. It had a big front porch and a large white wooden door. It looked to be on an acre of land, backing up to a lake. Rachel stared up at the house, so domestic and perfect against the dark green masses of trees around it. She was in awe. It was nothing she had ever seen herself in, but now, after everything she'd been through, and how she felt about Tom and his family, she couldn't imagine living anywhere else with them.

She climbed out of the Humvee, followed by Jimmy. Richard handed her the keys.

"This is your house. It's one of the best on base. It was the least the Navy and the CDC could do for all you've achieved," Richard gave her a warm smile, patting her on the back. She looked at the keys and then looked at the house again, a smile growing on her face.

"This is…I'm speechless," She turned to Richard, looking up at the older man. "Thank you, Richard," she said, her words heartfelt.

"You're welcome, Rachel. We thank _you_," he gestured toward the house, "take some time to get settled, we'll come get you in a few hours. The house is furnished, the refrigerator is full; you should have everything you need. If you don't, please let us know and we'll get it for you," he looked to Jimmy, "We were told you would be saying with her for her protection until the _Nathan James_ arrives. Once the ship gets here, you'll get your own place," Richard explained as Jimmy nodded in acceptance.

They parted ways and Rachel took her pack toward the house, unlocking the large door. She could see herself drinking her morning tea on this porch with Tom—the thought felt almost too good to be true.

The house was large inside, an open floor plan. She and Jimmy perused the house slowly, taking in every nook. The kitchen was large, with a window looking out to the lake over the sink. The living room was large with a brick fireplace that Rachel could just envision all dressed up at Christmastime. The thought surprised her, and she subconsciously felt her cheeks grow warm. She couldn't believe she was thinking about a future in this house already. Truth be told though, she had a feeling they'd be here for some time.

It had four bedrooms, all upstairs. The master was over the garage, large and accommodating with a kingsize bed and a walk in closet. So much room, she thought to herself. The Jacuzzi tub looked quite inviting, she had to admit.

The three other bedrooms were about the same size, and she knew they'd be perfect for the children. She couldn't wait to show them the house. She could spend the next 3 weeks preparing the rooms in her off time.

She met back up with Jimmy in the hallway, where she leaned over the railing that looked down into the living room.

"So, what do you think?" he asked curiously, leaning over it with her. Her smile was soft, but happy.

"I do love it. I never thought I'd live in a house like this but here I am," she laughed a little. "Do you think Tom and the children will like it?" She asked, honestly curious. Jimmy nodded.

"Sure they will! It's a great space," he replied, leaning back. "Let's unpack and eat something before we head back to the lab," he told her, starting for the stairs to get their things. She subconsciously rested a hand on her still queasy stomach.

"You can eat, I'll get settled," she followed him down the stairs, noting how he didn't respond. She knew he would only try to take her to the doctor again. She appreciated his silence. She would assess how she felt in two days, just as she'd promised him. She knew she'd be better by then.

XXXX

Two days later, as she processed results from a recent test in the shiny new lab, Rachel did not feel any better. She cursed the nausea and knew she needed to see the base doctor, a virus was the only thing she could think of that would make her feel this constantly ill. She was sleeping better, the house was very comfortable, and the bed even more so, but she was still not feeling like herself.

She was halfway through the results, unsheathing a needle when suddenly it dawned on her. She felt the color drain from her face as she stared at the needle in her hand, prepared to inject a prototype into a primate, when she remembered the last time she'd held a needle like this. She swallowed hard. She couldn't be….could she?

She set the needle down, leaned against the metal counter, taking a deep breath. It made sense. It make _complete_ sense. She surveyed her surroundings, knew what she had to do. She had to know for sure.

Fifteen minutes later, Jimmy strolled into the lab, a cup of tea for her, a cup of coffee for him. His happy whistled tune ceased as soon as he saw her, bent over, sitting on a stool, her head in her hands. He was at her side quickly, his hand on her back.

"Rachel," his voice was full of concern, the steaming beverages now sitting on a counter forgotten. "Are you all right? What's wrong?" He kneeled in front of her, fearing the worst. He tried to find her eyes, and when she finally lifted her head, he saw tears. Dread flushed through him. "Rachel…"

"Jimmy, I'm pregnant," the words left her mouth faster than she could have thought they would, and she immediately wished she could take them back. His eyes grew wide, and his head straightened as he registered the information.

"Are you sure?" he stumbled over the words.

"I just tested myself, and it's a fairly fool-proof test." She ran a hand over her hair, sitting back. "I can't believe I didn't put it together," she groaned, rubbing her temple.

"Well, you haven't been pregnant before, have you? How would you have known?" his tone was gentle as he sat in the chair across from her. She shrugged.

"I don't know, but I would have thought I would have sensed it." She rubbed her face again.

"Have you talked to Tom since we arrived?" Jimmy asked slowly, not sure if there was more to the story that he didn't know. She'd radioed Tom upon their arrival but due to storms in his vicinity, they weren't able to get video. She hadn't been able to talk to him long, and hadn't spoken with him since. They hadn't heard from the ship, though they were assured he would be fine, that the ship could withstand pretty heavy storms. Cape Horn was known for them.

"No, not since then." She looked up at him, her dark eyes catching his lighter ones head on. "Jimmy, you cannot tell Tom. In fact you cannot tell a soul. No one can know until the ship gets here. He must know first." He words carried the seriousness of their situation. This was not something she wanted spreading. She couldn't bear the thought of him hearing it from someone else.

"I understand, Rachel. This is our secret, I won't say a word." He waited a beat, his eyes locked on hers, so she knew how serious he was with regard to her wishes. "How far along do you think you are?" He asked, his voice much quieter.

"I'm not sure, definitely no more than twelve weeks, but definitely more than four. I would need an ultrasound to truly determine the age of the fetus. Or a better way of testing hormone levels."

"Can't you get one done by the base doctor? Isn't there still such thing as doctor/patient confidentiality?"

"I don't want to risk it," Rachel explained, shaking her head. "I'll wait until the ship arrives. He and I will do that together," she was solid in her decision, and Jimmy respected it. He knew Tom would want to be there for such a moment.

"Okay. So we wait," Jimmy agreed.

"I'm serious, James. This must stay between you and I, no matter what."

"Rachel, you have my word." Stood up, grabbing his coffee and her tea. He handed her the hot mug, a smile on his handsome features. "I do believe congratulations are in order," he held his mug toward her in toast. Rachel laughed, which came out a little as a cry, knocking the mugs lightly together.

"I suppose it does," she acknowledged, "Thank you."

"To new beginnings," he toasted, a bright smile on my face, "And to another niece or nephew," he added, and she could see the pride in his eyes.

And in that moment she began to realize that she was in fact carrying a child. Tom's child.

The joy was an incredible feeling that washed over her. But then there was the sense of missing him, of wanting to tell him right this moment. She took a deep breath. The next few weeks would be torture, waiting for him. But once he arrived…

The grin on her face was a permanent one. She couldn't _wait_ to tell him.

XXXX

I AM SO SORRY for the delay! Real life really got in the way of this chapter! I promise to update on time going forward!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm very pleased with the way it turned out. I look forward to reading your reviews! I cannot believe this story has 730+ reviews! You all are INCREDIBLE! SERIOUSLY! I am in awe. Thank you thank you thank you!

Please follow my twitter, MorningGlory2RF, for updates on the story, as well as anything TLS related! Only 7 weeks until the premiere!

Again, so sorry for the delay! Thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	45. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Rachel collapsed on the couch with a yawn. Darkness had already enveloped their space, and Bangor was getting ready for sleep. It was late; she'd just arrived home from another long day. And she could tell by Jimmy's own yawn and heavy eyelids that her long days were slowly but surely killing Tom's brother. She laughed.

"What, Mr. Army Ranger?" She started to tease, her hand resting on her flat abdomen, as it tended to do these days. Since finding out about the pregnancy, she had a hard time not resting her hand there. Their baby was in there, growing. It was amazing to her. She found herself sleeping with her palm over the spot, as if she could protect it and hold it while it was inside her. She smiled just thinking about it. She had become overjoyed by the growing little being.

Jimmy glared at her sleepily. "How do you do this day in and day out? Don't you need sleep? You're pregnant for God's sake. When Tom gets here, you do realize this behavior is over, right?" His tone was one of a scold, but she could tell in his eyes he was slightly playful. He was right though. She knew Tom would attempt to put a stop to her wretched hours.

What Jimmy didn't know though was that she would enjoy sleep more once Tom arrived. She'd enjoy relaxing more. Right now she had to keep herself busy to make the time go by. And sleeping alone in a huge bed was lonely. She found herself on the couch more often than she'd like to admit. She had grown accustomed to his arms around her, sometimes pretended the back of the couch was his chest, just so she'd fall asleep at night. She imagined this is how his late wife had felt all those years he was deployed. The thought made her sad and she focused back on Jimmy, who was dozing on the other couch.

"When Tom gets here, everything will change. You'll actually be able to have a life. Though I have told you numerous times that you can have one if you want one. I am fine, this place is safe." She laughed a little, laying down in her normal spot, head resting on a soft blue pillow. Jimmy laughed along, sinking lower on his own couch.

"I promised my brother I would look out for you every minute of every day. I will not 'have a life' until he arrives. This is my life. Keeping you and baby Chandler safe."

She grinned madly at the words he chose, 'baby Chandler'. Jimmy laughed, eyeing her expression.

"Someone is thinking about baby Chandler, aren't they?" he teased, slipping his shoes off. Her hand fell back against her abdomen, a pleased sigh escaping her lips.

"I never thought I'd have children," she explained, looking at the youngest Chandler brother. "Never thought I wanted them. But Ashley and Sam, Ava, and now this little one...I'm thrilled, Jimmy. I just cannot wait to tell him." That was the only thing keeping her at bay, was the fact that he still didn't know. She'd tried to tell him once, but their chat had been cut short.

"_Tom," Rachel spoke softly after the children had gone off to their room. Tom was settled back in his chair, fingers steepled under his chin, peering at her through the small screen. His eyes were so blue, even thousands of miles away and over a computer screen. "I have something I want to tell you," she started, chewing her lip. How to say it...how would he react? _

"_Yes?" she could hear the anticipation on his voice, see it on his face. "Everything all right?" _

"_It is, it's great." Rachel opened her mouth to begin, before there's a knock at his door. His expression flashes from annoyance to apologetic. _

"_One minute, Rach." Tom stood quickly, and she lost visual of him for a moment. She stared at the couch behind him, and smirked. She could remember a pretty good time spent on that couch, recently, and wonders if that was the time that she conceived their surprise. _

_When Tom returned, his expression is one of regret. "Honey, I have to go. We've got some things I need to tend to. Can what you were going to tell me wait?" _

_Rachel nodded, watching him. She gave him a soft smile, nodding again. "Yes, of course. I'll tell you next time." _

"_Great. I can't wait to hear all about it. We'll chat soon." Rachel had nodded, they'd shared their I love yous and then he was gone. _

That was the last they'd chatted and that was a week ago. A week with no word, a week without knowing how they were. She chose to believe they were fine because what would worrying do? She couldn't afford to worry with the baby on the way. She knew what stress could do to a pregnancy, and she wouldn't let anything happen to this baby.

"He'll be here soon enough and you'll be able to tell him in person. Over the vidcom would have been hard for him anyway, being so far from you." Their house phone rang at that moment and Jimmy sighed heavily, Rachel releasing a giggle. She was waiting on a few results from the lab, assumed it was them, but let Jimmy stand to answer it. He yawned again, covering his mouth as he picked up the receiver. Rachel looked back at the vintage movie playing across the television screen, realizing it wasn't for her after a moment.

Jimmy turned his back to Rachel, listening to the person on the other end. He swore under his breath, and pivoted again as Rachel moved past him into the kitchen for a glass of water.

"Yes, sir. I'll tell her. Thank you for the update, sir. Good night."

Rachel leaned her hit against the counter and furrowed her brow. "So it was for me? Why didn't you give me the phone?" Her tone was light, she wasn't thinking anything of the grim look on Jimmy's handsome face.

"Trust me, this was not a call you wanted to take." He cleared his throat, "Rachel," Jimmy started, meeting her darker eyes with his blue ones. "I have some news about the _Nathan James_. You may want to sit down." Jimmy kept his tone soft, not wanting her to panic. Rachel's eyes widened and she didn't budge.

"Just spit it out, James." Her apprehension was at an all time high now. What kind of news could he possibly have that she would need to sit for? She gripped the glass in her hand tightly.

"The ship was in a storm off Cape Horne last night. She took on water, and took quite a beating from what was reported. They're having engine trouble." He chanced a glance at her face and saw how white she grew at his words.

"Engine trouble? What do you mean?"

"I don't entirely understand. I'm not Navy, but from what it sounds like, some waves did some serious damage and there was a fire. They're stalled out in the Pacific until they can get the engines up and running. Suspected arrival is a week later than originally planned.

"You mean they won't be here on Saturday? Is everyone all right?" Her tone was clipped, and she was disappointed. It had been three long weeks awaiting their children's rooms were complete, her's and Tom's room was ready. Another week without him? Her face was crestfallen.

"They're all safe though, and they're working through the issues. What's one more week?" Jimmy was trying to help, trying to be supportive but it was difficult. He knew how much she'd been looking forward to their arrival. Disappointment didn't even cover her feelings, he knew. Devastation was more to the point. She sagged against the counter, staring at the tiled floor.

"An eternity," she mumbled, heading back to the couch. She was disappointed and worried for their safety. She wanted them all here now. They'd been separated long enough. She vowed to herself as she laid down on the couch that they would never be separated like this again.

XXXXX

Tom slammed his fist into his desk, bowing his head. He was furious, frustrated and disappointed. Another week at sea. Another week without her. This was becoming a tedious test. It briefly reminded him of months ago when they had been set to turn a course for home after four long months at sea. And then their mission was extended. It was still being extended. He just wanted to put his feet on solid ground, wanted to hold her in his arms.

Tom sat down in his desk chair, running his hands over his hair. He wished he could have been the one to tell her, but they were out of video range at the moment, and with some of their power down do to the fire, he was unable to call her on the vidcom. He'd has Mason radio in that they were delayed, but she deserved to hear the news herself. He wished he could have given that to her.

When Tom had told the kids, they'd cried and carried on and it made him feel terrible. They'd been so excited to be in Bangor, to see Rachel. Sam couldn't wait to play catch the right way, with a real baseball, and Ashley so badly yearned for the female companionship Rachel provided.

The last three weeks he'd begun to feel the effects of single-parenting once more. The children bickered, and whined about one another and Tom was struggling with his patience. He missed the balance Rachel would provide. He needed her around. Wanted her around. He was getting too old for this, he felt, in a moment of weakness. He wanted to be settled. He briefly thought about that desk job at the pentagon and laughed to himself. What his life would be like if that had happened…

He wouldn't know her though and that was tough to swallow. He wouldn't trade any of this for anything, except this delay. This delay he was not pleased with. Two more days of repairs and then making up lost time. As long as they didn't run into any further complications. They could only be so fortunate to only arrive a week late, not more.

He leaned back, catching sight of his computer screen. His mind wandered back to the last time they'd talked. She's had something to tell him. He's been pulled away and the thought still rested with him. What could it have been? She'd looked nervous. Surely everything was all right or someone would have told him otherwise, right? He knew Jimmy was okay, and Rachel had looked fine. So far everything about Bangor had been a dream. They were working to mass produce the vaccine and cure, and Rachel had mentioned they'd given her a house, a real house, with a yard. She'd even joked about getting a dog to make the white picket fence life all the more real. He'd laughed, but truthfully, a dog would be a nice touch. A white picket fence would too. He was ready to settle down a little. With all the on-their-toes they'd had, he was ready for easy. If it existed, if he could find it.

He checked his watch, realized he only had a few more hours before he had to be back on the bridge. Standing, he shed his fatigues, climbing under the covers. His pillows no longer smelled of her sweet scent, and he missed that, the sweet vanilla. One more week. He closed his eyes and sighed, needing sleep. It had been a long few days, hell, a long few weeks. Each sleep brought him closer to seeing her again.

One more week and he could hold her again. And would never let her go again.

* * *

_This chapter might be the shortest I've posted, but I decided to split them up. Look for the next chapter tomorrow or Friday, and then I will update again Sunday. Three updates in a week is better than one right? I'm sorry for the delay on this chapter, real life gets in the way sometimes._

_Remember to check out the Twitter for news about the story, updates, sneak peeks, pictures, etc! MorningGloryRF_

_Thank you to the 29 followers the twitter currently has! I can't believe it has 29 so far! So exciting!_

_Leave a line and let me know your thoughts! :D_


	46. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

****RATED M****

* * *

Sleep can slow for Rachel, her anticipation of seeing Tom and the kids was getting the best of her these days. There was strong hope they'd arrive in two days. If they didn't arrive, the Navy had assured her and Jimmy they'd send one of their smaller frigates in search of the large destroyer. While she hoped it didn't come to that, she also felt at ease that they cared enough about the _Nathan James_ to go in search of it.

She stretched out on the large comfortable sofa before curling up around a pillow. She'd grown so accustomed to sleeping on the couch that even Jimmy couldn't convince her to go upstairs to the bed anymore. She'd wait for him. When he was beside her, she'd sleep in the bed. Only then.

Jimmy had said his goodnights a few hours prior, their schedule making the younger man very tired these days. He continued to playfully threaten her that he would tell Tom of her incessant instance that she be on the go all the time, but she always brushed him off. She teased that he couldn't handle it. But he was a morning person, and was always by her side, driving her to the lab every morning in the Humvee the Navy had issued him, drinking his coffee and singing along to the music that played over their base radio station in the truck. She was thoroughly enjoying his company, appreciated the way he kept things light. He kept her _young_ she realized. They laughed, a lot, and she was beginning to view him as a son.

He'd recently expressed interest in a young woman he'd met at the gym on base. Rachel had demanded details from him, but he was being tight-lipped. He said he'd explore more of it when Tom finally arrived. He told her that until then, he was 'devoted' to his brother's girlfriend. That had Rachel in stitches. She, in some ways, would miss this, just the two of them. They'd grown quite close.

Rachel closed her eyes, the house dark, only a light over the sink in the kitchen glowing in the darkness. She was tired actually. It seemed her morning sickness had finally subsided, and that had her suspecting she was farther along than she thought. Her hand drifted to her abdomen and she sighed happily.

Her eyes popped open a moment later though. She'd heard a noise from out front. She waited, holding her breath. She always slept here, never heard a sound, except maybe crickets. This was no cricket.

Her eyes flickered to the front door, which she could plainly see from where she lay, and then up the stairs to where Jimmy's room was. She wasn't sure if she should go for him, or get the gun they had stowed in the kitchen drawer. They'd been here a month with no incidents, she'd never had to even look at the weapon. But now she could soundly hear Lt. Burk's instructions in her head before she'd boarded the Vyerni.

Rachel heard the rustling outside again, could distinctly tell voices now from her place on the couch. Her heart started to race, panic coursed through her veins.

As she lifted herself off the couch, Jimmy came down the stairs in his tee-shirt and shorts, handgun at the ready. She met him in the kitchen by the island. She pulled out the gun.

"I can't see bodies, but there's an SUV out front," he whispered. It was the middle of the night. "I'm going to go out-" before he could say more, the door handle jarred and a knock sounded. Jimmy immediately was at the door, Rachel behind him. "We should have been given a door with more windows," he grumbled. Rachel rolled her eyes as he attempted to peer out the window a few feet to the left.

Jimmy dropped his gun, cursing under his breath, his jaw set. Rachel's eyes widened at his reaction, and before she could ask him what was going on, he strode toward the door, unlocking it and yanking it open.

"I seriously almost shot you." He said in annoyance, opening the door wide. Rachel dropped her own weapon to her side, stepping around the wide wooden door. Her jaw dropped. "You ask me to protect her and then you show up unannounced. Sounds like a death wish to me."

Tom stood on the other side of the threshold, a wide grin on his handsome face. "Well, I had to make sure you were still on your toes after all this time," he sassed his little brother. Jimmy rolled his eyes before shaking his head and laughing.

Rachel could hardly move from her spot beside Jimmy, staring at the captain in his Navy fatigues. "How did you..when did you…" She couldn't form sentences and tears filled her brown eyes. His eyes took her in and landed on her right hand.

"Oh God, Jimmy, you gave her a gun too?" Before he could say more, she shoved the locked pistol into Jimmy's chest and practically leapt into Tom's arms, throwing her arms around his neck. He caught her, laughing, wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her up and against him, a hand running over her soft hair.

"Oh my God, I missed you!" her words were muffled by his shoulder, and emotional, as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"I missed you too," he said softly into her ear, holding her another moment before setting her down gently. His hands cupped her cheeks and he kissed her softly, lingering against her mouth.

Shockwaves tore through her and she leaned into his lips. He tasted of coffee and for once she relished in it. It was so him.

It was only seconds before they were interrupted by yelling children, Ashley and Sam barreling toward her, wrapping their arms around her as she pulled back from their father. He stepped away to give them room, each of them talking over the other to her, telling her how excited they were and how much they had missed her. He took a moment to step inside, following Jimmy into the expansive house.

Jimmy settled the handguns on the counter, unloading the bullets. "Well played," he remarked at his brother, grinning. Tom kept his eyes on the woman and children at the front door, who were now joined by his father.

"I trusted you," he told Jimmy, crossing his arms, relaxed, looking around the house for a moment. "The admiral who met us said he gave her this place. Is that true?"

Jimmy nodded, leaning against the counter. "It is. Furnished and everything. She's really settled in."

"I had to explain to him that we'd be living here with her. It was a comical conversation. He didn't quite understand at first, but then he got it." Tom's eyes showed the laughter and Jimmy chuckled. "How's she been?" His gaze turned back to the doorway now, where the children were carrying their belongings into the house, followed by Rachel and Jed.

"Very good." Jimmy chose to leave any and all information sharing to her. He suspected Tom would get quite the surprise later.

"Really? Nothing to report back?" Tom felt skeptical, was surprised things had really gone that well. Jimmy shrugged with an easy smile.

"Really. I've enjoyed my time with her. You picked a good one," he caught Tom's eyes, his words honest. Tom nodded, his eyes settling back on her a moment.

"Thanks, Jim," he replied, heartfelt before he was at his side, sliding her arms around his waist. He draped his arm around her, pulling her close, kissing the side of her head.

"You scared us," she scolded, a smile on her pretty face. He laughed, rubbing her back.

"Sorry," he said softly, "We docked a little while ago, but I didn't want to wake you."

"She never sleeps, you don't have to worry about waking her." Jimmy's words were spoken with a tired tone, and she scowled at him.

"That's not true."

"And she sleeps on the couch. Every single night." Jimmy's expression was now playful, and her cheeks pinked. Tom looked down at her, his forehead wrinkling in confusion.

"You've been sleeping on the couch? Whatever for?"

"I missed you," the words were said so softly Jimmy could barely hear them. He looked up to see the kids heading for the staircase.

"Rachel! Can we see our rooms?" Sam asked excitedly, standing at the base of the stairs. Rachel laughed at his tone.

"Better yet, why don't we show them to you and you guys get to bed. It's well after your bedtime." She peered up at Tom; she'd missed that fatherly tone. She sighed happily, releasing his waist to take them upstairs.

"Jimmy, can you pull out the sofa for you father?" Rachel asked as she moved toward the stairs. Tom grabbed their few bags, following her. Jimmy nodded.

"Of course. That means you can't sleep there though," he teased. She looked at Tom before back at Jimmy.

"I think I'll sleep upstairs tonight." Jimmy nodded in understanding, pleased to have his family here, and pleased to see her radiant with happiness.

Jed and Jimmy said their good nights as the children bounded up the stairs.

Ashley's room was first. Rachel had painted it a soft pink, and found a white comforter and white sheets to match. A white dresser sat in the corner, a small pink teddy bear on the bed. The room smelled of lavender and vanilla, and Ashley threw herself on the full-size bed.

"It's beautiful! I love it!" she gushed, hugging the bear immediately. Rachel smiled proudly.

"I'm so glad, sweetie," she replied, watching her from the door way. Ashley stood up and hugged Rachel hard around the waist.

"Thank you," she whispered and Rachel could barely reply, more tears welling up. Tom watched the pair, his heart full. He could tell she'd been preparing for their arrival, and that made all of this the more special. He had missed her so much.

"Can I see mine?" the impatient little boy asked, bouncing up and down. The adults laughed, and Rachel led the three down the hall to his room, flipping on the light. The room was a navy blue, with a large anchor painted in gray on the wall. His sheets and comforter matched, and a white dresser lay against the wall. He had a navy bear. Sam, too, was pleased, hugging Rachel and repeating his thank yous.

"You're both most welcome. I'm so happy you like your rooms!" She looked up, catching Tom's eyes, and was overcome with joy again that they were there. He gave her a soft smile in return, leaning against the door jam, hands in his pants pockets.

After a few more minutes of catching up, Tom encouraged both children to get ready for bed. Teeth brushed, pajamas on, Rachel and Tom, together, tucked the children in, kissing their foreheads and wishing them sweet dreams. They shut the bedroom doors and she grasped his hand then, pulling him easily to her.

"Come, let me show you _our_ bedroom," she whispered, pulling him down the hallway. He grinned wide, following behind her, his hand squeezing hers. She pulled him into the large room, shutting the door behind them. She'd set his bag inside the doorway when he had been tucking in Sam in, and when she turned the lights on, the Navy issue bad stood out against the white rug and chocolate walls. The bed lay in the middle of the large room, also white like Ashley's. She let him wander, taking it all in. The bathroom was large, with his and her sinks, and the walk in closet branched off, large enough to be a small bedroom. He chuckled at the size.

"You don't have enough clothing to fill this thing," he commented with laughter. She shrugged, leaning against the frame, watching him. He advanced toward her, one hand finding her cheek and the other arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her flush against him. He captured her lips, softly at first, until she responded in kind. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss, his tongue sliding between her lips, exploring the mouth he had missed for too long.

Her arms made their way around his neck, and she moaned into his lips, unable to help herself, her body alive for the first time since she'd left him on the ship. He held her tighter, and kissed her breathless, until his mouth left hers to trail down her long neck. She licked her lips, her eyes still closed, trying to find her voice.

"Tom," she began, her head falling back as he assaulted her soft skin. "Tom, I have to tell you something."

"Mmm," he mumbled against her neck, sucking a soft spot below her ear. "Can it wait? I have to have you," his voice was deep, raspy, and made her stomach flip flop. How was she supposed to say no?

"It can wait," she affirmed, her voice whispery. With that, he slid his hands down to her ass, cupping it and easily picking her up. Her legs automatically wrapped around his waist, and laughed in delight. He smirked before capturing her lips again, carrying her toward _their _bed. He rested his knee on it and gently laid her down, reluctantly pulling away his lips to remove his fatigues jacket. He tossed it to the ground as she scooted back into the pillows. He took a moment, simply looking at her, studying her. God, he'd missed her. She allowed him a moment of taking her in before she separated her legs, her shorts providing him just enough of a view, for a slow smile to cross his features, before he made his way toward her on his hands on knees, catching her lips again. As much as he wanted to take his time with her, he wasn't sure he had the patience. It had been so long, too long.

Rachel reached up, either hand landing on his sides, as he kissed her, slowing resting his weight on her. She didn't waste time, pulling his shirt from where it was tucked into his pants, and up. He leaned back, pulling it over his head, tossing it too on the floor. She grinned, taking in his broad chest and ran her hands down it, as he kissed her again, this time fervently, and full of need. He held himself up on one elbow and side his hand up under her tee-shirt, cupping her breast through the thing fabric of her bra. He groaned into her mouth, squeezing her flesh, before pulling the round breast out of her bra, flicking his thumb over the nipple. She arched her back into his touch, a gasp causing their lips to part. He took the moment to attack her neck, and it wasn't long before her had her squirming under him in want.

Her hands found his belt and she made quick work of it, before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, sliding her hand inside to wrap her fingers around his length. He hissed against her neck, sucking hard on the spot where her neck met her shoulder. His fingers found their way up the leg of her soft cotton shorts, and inside her panties, and he was pleased to find her slick and ready for him.

Rachel lifted her hips to his hand and he withdrew his fingers, leaning back again. She whimpered, opening her eyes to find him getting up. "Come back here," she whispered, pulling her shirt up over her head and removing her bra. She could see the darkness in his blues, the lamp beside the bed giving them all the light they needed to see each other for the first time in a long time. He dropped his pants and boxers, his gaze intense on her chest, before she slid her shorts and panties off, leaving herself entirely naked and exposed for him against the white sheets.

"I'm not going anywhere. Ever," he replied, his voice firm and full of conviction as he climbed back toward her. He kissed her gently, felt her hands land on his back as he cupped her cheek, his thumb grazing over her cheek bone tenderly. "I love you," he whispered, not opening his eyes or separating their lips. She smiled into the kiss as she felt him move himself against her, preparing himself.

"I love _you_," the last word came out as a gasp as he slid into her at that very moment, one long thrust, sheathing himself deep inside her. Her head fell back against the pillows and she mouth opened in a silent moan, her eyes closing in pure pleasure. He watched her reaction, smiling, running a hand over her hair as he pulled out and pushed back in again, driving deeper but not harder.

With every thrust he took her breath away; everything felt hyper sensitive. He stayed slow and purposeful, pulling all the way out to the tip before sliding back in, and watching her reactions. Her legs came up on either side of his hips, higher, her hands roaming his back, her nails digging into him. Her hands slid down his backside, grabbing his ass, pushing his pelvis into hers, and he raised his eyebrows, his head was against her sternum, speckling kisses along her soft kiss. He tilted his hips at her request and slid deeper, causing more skin on skin friction against her small bud.

Rachel was taken aback by the instantaneous orgasm, her insides squeezing and quivering out him. She moaned his name, gasping, her legs squeezing his hips. It was intense, raging deep inside her, and she held onto him, her eyes closed so tightly.

He looked up from her chest, watching her face, settling deep inside her, the sensations coursing around him causing him to groan deep within his throat. He met her lips, sucking on her bottom one before pulling out, and thrusting in again, moving faster this time. He was so close himself, but wanted to prolong her pleasure. He had just found a steady rhythm when she pulled her mouth away, panting.

"Tom," she panted, forcing her eyes open. "Let me get on top."

He opened his eyes at her request, but didn't stop to ask questions, rolling them over to give her the control. He pushed his head back into the pillows as she sat up fully on him, his length buried so deeply within her. His hands settled on her hips and she rested her palms on his chest.

Rachel pushed her hips forward, taking him as deep as she could, the feeling one she couldn't get enough of. She found an easy rhythm, rocking against his hips, feeling herself climbing closer and closer to that edge once more. She watched his face, could tell he was close to, his brow furrowed, his eyes focused between her breasts, her face, and her stomach. His fingers dug into her hips, helping to push and pull her along his length, speeding her up and adding more friction.

He felt her clench him once, only moments after they switch position, and couldn't stop himself from going with her, gripping her hips hard, holding her down and steady against him, his upper body almost coming off the bed in ecstasy. He groaned her name, his eyes squeezing shut.

She tossed her head back, her nails gripping his chest harder than she should have, leaving small half-moons in his flesh, as she cried out, unable to keep the noise buried within. He rocked her hips a few times before she collapsed onto his chest, barely able to catch her breath, both their bodies hot and slick with sweat. He released her hips and wrapped his arms around her back, trying to ease his own breathing, rubbing along her skin whimsically. She lifted her head after a while, her hair wild, her eyes sated and relaxed, and he kissed her nose, her cheeks, and then her lips, lingering there, kissing her a few more times.

"You're incredible," she murmured, sliding off him to lay by his side. His arms never left her, as he pulled her close to him, resting his head against hers.

"I'd like to think so," he teased, and she laughed against him, her head on his shoulder. "Now what was it you wanted to tell me?" he asked softly, turning to catch her darker eyes. A small grin formed on her face, her cheeks reddening a little. She'd thought of so many different ways she'd say it, so many ways to begin the conversation. Now none of those seemed to fit the moment. She twisted to lay half on top of him, resting her chin on her hand on his chest, searching his eyes. She was quiet a long time, before he spoke again.

"You're killing me with anticipation. Is this bad news?" His eyes were concerned as he searched hers. A wide smile broke across her features, confusing him even more.

"I'm pregnant," she told him softly, not breaking eye contact. His hands still from their caresses and his eyes grew wide.

"You're pregnant?" he repeated just as softly, his voice full of surprise. She nodded against her hand, beaming. "Really?"

"Really." She confirmed, her accent strong, her eyes watering.

"When did you find out?" He moved one of his hands to her face, moving a loose hair behind her ear.

"Two days after we got here. I tried to tell you over the vidcom two weeks ago, but we were interrupted," she explained. He nodded, taking this new information in, trying to process it.

"How far along?" he asked curiously, his eyes locked with hers.

"I'm not sure, but my guess is 12-14 weeks. I was terribly nauseous until last week."

"I'm sorry I missed that," he said, his voice soothing, his arm holding her tightly against him.

"It's all right. Ask you brother, I wasn't very pleasant on the sub," she laughed at the thoughts. He was silent a long time, just staring at her. She let him, before she finally began to feel a little apprehensive.

"Tom," she began slowly before he rolled her over, laying her on her back. She watched him hover over her, before he descended down her to abdomen. His large hand covered her stomach, right below her belly button.

"You're pregnant," he repeated again, staring at his hand on her belly.

"I am," she confirmed once more. When he looked up, she could see the huge smile on his handsome face, and one formed on hers.

"I am so happy," he told her, and she could tell by his tone that he meant it. Her heart fluttered and a tear escaped from one of her eyes. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her flat belly, before moving up to kiss her lips, so tender.

"Me too," she whispered, wrapping herself around him. He pulled her into him, and pulled the covers around them, though the last thing he planned on doing was sleeping. His hands roamed her body, eliciting moans from her lips against his. "Are you ready again so soon?" she asked teasingly, feeling his erection against her thigh. He grinned at her devilishly.

"Let's just say I've been thinking a lot about this night, and now I want you more than ever," she loved the way his voice dropped a few octaves between the sheets, raspy and deep. She could feel herself grow wetter just by his tone.

"You've been thinking about it, have you?" she asked as he laid her back, moving over her smaller body. He nodded, catching her nipple in his teeth. She sucked in a breath, unprepared for the sensation, her body arching into his mouth.

"Let's just say I've thought about every which way I could possibly take you, and I plan to try every one." His head dipped again and he sucked the other breast, a sharp moan escaping her. "You like that?"

"Yes," she gasped as his hand drifted south, his fingers exploring her soft folds. He kissed the valley between her breasts.

"Good. There's more where that came from," he murmured, sliding two fingers in her heat. "God, I missed you," he mumbled into her ribs, kissing down her stomach. She bucked her hips up into his hand.

"I missed you more than I can say," she whimpered, moving her hips against his fingers as he worked her. He raised an eyebrow looking up at her.

"I can tell," he sassed, getting a glare in response.

"Thomas," she warned, before he shushed her with his lips on her heat.

"Enough talking," he commanded from his place between her legs, before re-enacting one of the many thoughts he'd had during their separation.

* * *

YAY! THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER! 3 I have missed writing them!

Leave a review and let me know what you thought about this chapter! You can expect lots of fluff in the next one, which you'll likely receive Sunday!

Happy #FlankOutFriday! And don't forget to follow the Twitter account MorningGlory2RF!

Thank you for the incredible reviews on the last chapter!

Six weeks until the premiere!

ALSO! For those of you with stories, I PROMISE to read and review this weekend! I am SO SORRY I am so behind! Please forgive me! I look forward to getting caught up on all the amazing chapters I've missed!

Thank you again for reading! XOXO


	47. Chapter 43

Rachel hadn't dreamed this bed could be so comfortable, but as her eyes fluttered open the next morning, she had no interest whatsoever in getting up. The mattress under her body, the pillow under her head, and the heavy, strong arm wrapped around her waist were three things she was not willing to give up just yet. Glancing at the clock she saw it was still very early, and suspected they'd only recently fallen asleep. Light was just peaking in through the curtains, but not enough to warrant getting out of bed just yet. She snuggled herself deeper into his chest, his light snores telling her he was far from waking up. She grinned. _This_ is how it should have been, how it should _always_ be.

She closed her eyes, hoping for more sleep because she could use it and because they didn't have anywhere to be. She knew the lab would understand her absence today, had known this would eventually happen, that they would arrive and she'd need a day. Just one. Just enough time to enjoy all she'd missed.

A few hours later, she felt his arm tighten around her before he rolled over onto his back, eyes still closed, breathing still deep. She rolled over onto her side, watching him silently, not touching him. He looked so relaxed, the sheet laying across his abdomen, one hand settled on his upper stomach, the other laying under her pillow still.

She couldn't believe he was really here. The month had seemed like an eternity, but now it felt like they'd never been apart. She couldn't wait to spend time with the children and Jed. She briefly wondered if Jenny was with Tex, what had developed there. She would ask him when he woke. And about Kara and the baby. She couldn't wait to see the young woman, though she suspected Jenny had taken wonderful care of her.

She watched his chest rise and fall with his breaths, his mouth just slightly parted.

"It's not polite to stare," he spoke suddenly, his voice husky with sleep, causing her to jump in surprise against her pillow. "And honestly, it's creeping me out."

She grinned where she lay, snuggling deeper into the down pillow, hands tucked under her head. "As if you haven't watched me sleep before," she teased.

"Not in the creepy way you're watching me," he had yet to open his eyes, and that made her raise an eyebrow.

"You can't even see me," she scoffed, "you haven't opened your eyes yet."

"I can feel your eyes, honey," he finally opened his, rolling onto his own side to face her, mimicking her position. "Good morning," he said, his voice deep and quiet, a small smile on his face.

"Good morning," she greeted just as quietly.

"This bed is great," he commented, enjoying all the room they had. It was a far cry from his stateroom bed, and especially hers.

"It is. This house is great."

"It is. Perfect for a _family_." He drew out the word, a smile snaking across his lips. "A baby." It was a statement, spoken with joy. She nodded.

"Our baby."

"I can't wait to tell the kids," he reached a hand out, moving a loose bit of hair behind her ear. His knuckles grazed her cheek tenderly before his hand slid down to cup her uncovered shoulder.

"Do you think they'll be excited?" She asked cautiously, searching his features. He showed no sign of apprehension.

"Are you kidding? Do you remember the day you were in sick bay, after you were shot, and Sam said we should have a baby together? They'll be thrilled." His hand moved again to her cheek, a beaming smile on his face. "We'll tell them over breakfast?"

"So soon?" she couldn't keep the apprehension out of her voice.

"Why wait? They'll be able to tell soon enough," his comment came out playful and Rachel simply rolled her eyes.

"Let's tell them over dinner. Tell Jenny to come. I think that's the best way." Rachel wanted his whole family to hear it from them at the same time.

"I have to keep it a secret the whole day?" He whined quietly, laying back against the pillow. She raised an eyebrow as laughter danced in her dark eyes.

"Hmm. You seem like the type that enjoys keeping secrets." She meant it teasingly, knew it was a low blow. But as Tom rolled his head to look at her, she could tell he found it comical, albeit a shot.

"Touche'," he sighed, before rolling over again to face her. He searched her eyes.

"Hey, I've got something to ask you," he started, his hand resting on her still trim waist. He couldn't wait until it was full with child.

"Yes, Tom?" she asked lazily as she smiled, watching him, relishing in the feel of his hand on her. Before he could respond, quick knocks came on their door. Her eyes widened and she immediately pulled the down comforter up to her chin. Tom cleared his throat.

"Who is it?"

"Daddy! We're so hungry!" came back Ashley's little voice. "Uncle Jimmy says he won't feed us!"

"Tell Uncle Jimmy to make you waffles or else I'll be right down to kick his butt. Make sure he makes coffee too!" Rachel covered her laughter with the comforter, his response said so seriously. He laughed as he heard the kids' footsteps down the stairs, muffled voices before they couldn't hear anymore.

"Duty calls," Rachel teased, sitting up. Tom didn't move, however.

"Jimmy will feed them," he replied easily, stretching out across the king-size bed.

"Can you be so sure?" Rachel laughed, tossing her slender legs over the edge of the bed and standing. He stared at her in her beauty as she walked, naked, away from him, toward the bathroom.

"He will if he has any idea what's good for him." He didn't stand to follow, hoped she was coming back. But as she turned the shower on, he disappointingly realized she wasn't. "Rach, come back to bed," he called, reaching his arm out. She peered around the doorway, brushing her teeth. She shook her head, smiling. He groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes.

"Come shower with me," her voice was inviting, and as he pulled his arm off his eyes, he could just see her looking back over her shoulder as she beckoned him with her eyes. He grinned, moving from the bed quickly. He wasn't turning down that invitation, now or ever.

XXXX

The day was spent settling in the children and Jed, spending time in the yard and exploring the house. The house was alive with laughter and boisterous children, and Rachel was loving every moment, living for it. This was all just how she'd dreamed it would be all the nights they were separated. Jimmy was relocating to his own place, a passing of the guard going on between him and Tom, and for now Jed would take Jimmy's room. There was talk of Jed getting his own place, but Rachel wasn't ready to part with the man just yet. She was so enjoying his presence.

It was late afternoon when she finally put her feet up on the front porch, sitting in a beautiful Adirondack chair as the sun beat down on them from the spring sky. Tom and Jimmy were playing a mock game of cowboys and Indians with the kids, and she relished in their laughter coming from their large backyard.

She looked up as Jed stepped out of the front door onto the porch. She greeted him with a kind smile, sipping on some homemade lemonade he'd shown her and the children how to make earlier. It had been a fun experiment, and she was truly enjoying the results.

"You've really outdone yourself," he said, smiling, as he sat down beside her. Rachel laughed a little, taking in his relaxed expression.

"The Navy really outdid themselves, I'm just enjoying the benefits," she replied, sipping the citrus beverage. The air was crisp here, and she took a deep breath in, cleansing her soul. It was nice to be back on land, and for the first time she was she was truly appreciating it.

"Well, these are great benefits." He put his feet up on the same stool she had hers, and she leaned her head back, smiling at the older Chandler. "How was your time with Jimmy? We didn't really get to catch up last night," Jed took in the beautiful doctor, the breeze that blew her hair, the relaxed expression on her face.

"I adore your entire family, Jed. Jimmy could not have been a better companion. He's so much like you, in particular. Every day I was so thankful he was with me. I never had any siblings, it was nice to have a brother," she tried to explain her feelings as best could, but the truth was, there were no words for how she felt about having Jimmy with her. She was so utterly thankful for every minute he was with her, form the laughs they shared to the tears she cried, to the moment she shared the biggest secret of secrets.

"He's a good boy, always has been. Chip off the old block," Jed winked at her, a soft laugh escaped him. He peered at her again. "There's something different about you," he commented, his voice kindly suspicious.

Rachel licked her lips slowly, staring at her bare feet next to Jed's. She couldn't lie to the man. Her eyes rose to meet his slowly, and he sized her up once more.

"Either you and Jimmy had a thing or you're pregnant," his voice was full of laughter and the smile on his face told her he knew which the correct statement was. She laughed out loud, her head resting against the chair.

"Yes, Jed, Jimmy and I fell in love while Tom was at sea. It's true," she teased, trying to sound convincing. He gave her a dubious look and she continued to laugh, nodding. "Yes, Jed, I'm pregnant. But _don't say anything_. We were going to tell everyone at dinner, but alas, I cannot lie to you." Her voice was hushed, and she settled her head back against the chair, turning to look at him, her hand resting on her abdomen. The man practically glowed back at her.

"I knew it," he said, pointing at her, smiling, leaning forward, "the moment I saw you last night, I knew something was up." His hand rested on her knee, squeezing. "Congratulations, Rachel. I am so happy for you and Tom. Another grandchild. I am a very lucky granddad." Tom rounded the corner of the house just them, his long strides carrying him to them quickly.

"You are, Pops," he responded to the last statement he heard, looking at his father and Rachel as he leaned against the railing. He looked for his father's hand on Rachel's knee to Rachel's hand on her belly, and his eyes widened. "You told him! You told me I couldn't tell the kids and you told him," Tom raised his eyebrows at her and she couldn't help but laugh.

"He knew, Tom," she said softly, reaching out for him. He shook his head, feigning annoyance. "I mean, he thought it was Jimmy's, so I had to reassure him," her joke made his eyes wide and he scoffed.

"Not funny," he stepped toward her, kissing her lips, before leaning over and placing his hand on her stomach, over hers.

"Congratulations, Tommy," Jed stood, embracing his oldest, who smiled so wide at his father's words. The kids came around the corner just then, looking for their lost playing companion, and Rachel shook her head, laughing lightly. So much for dinner, she thought to herself.

"What's going on Daddy?" Sam asked, curious, coming up to crawl into Rachel's laugh. At almost ten he was almost too big, but she didn't mind at all, brushing his hair out of his face, and letting him lay against her. Ashley sat down in Jed's chair, curling her legs up underneath her, looking at her father expectantly. Jimmy grinned from his place by the stairs.

Tom looked at Rachel, who nodded just once, before looking back the kids. He crouched down, looking at them one at a time. "Guys, Rachel and I have something to tell you," he started. Sam immediately frowned and Ashley was speaking before he could continue.

"Dad, the last time you said that she was leaving for a month, please tell me it's not happening again! We just got here!" Desperation was in her voice, and Rachel's heart went out to the girl. She didn't blame her for her reaction. She reached over, placing a soothing hand on her little arm, shushing her gently.

"Don't worry Ashley, none of us are going anywhere for a long time," she comforted quietly. Sam looked between his father and Rachel.

"What do you have to tell us?" Sam asked, unsure. Tom smiled at his older children, before his eyes settled on Rachel.

"Ashley, Sammy, Rachel and I are having a baby," he told them slowly, letting the words sink in. The porch was quiet a moment, while the information was digested, and Rachel held her breath. Sam turned to look at her, looking from her face to her belly.

"A baby?" Ashley was the first to speak, and excitement rolled off her tongue. Tom nodded, confirming.

"Yes. A baby brother or sister for you both."

Sam looked to Ashley, his eyes wide, and his jaw slack. She mirrored his expression, before jumping out of the chair and almost on top of Sam and Rachel, squealing in joy. Sam hugged Rachel's neck, excitement in his voice as he tells her he wants a brother. Rachel hugged them both back, tears in her eyes. She caught Tom's blues over the children, and it made her heart swell to see his own tears at his children's reactions.

"When will it be here?"

"Where's your belly?"

"Can I touch it?"

"I want a sister, not a brother!"

Their voices carried through the yard as they pelted her with questions, their happiness so clear. Rachel did her best to answer as Tom stood by, Jimmy slapping his brother on the shoulder. Tom glanced at his little brother wryly.

"Judging by your expression, you knew, didn't you?"

Jimmy shrugged, grinning. "I was with her every second of every day," he reasoned to his big brother. Tom laughed, shaking his head, before growing serious.

"Thank you again for looking out for her Jimmy. Especially now. You don't know who much it means to me to know she was safe with you." Tom felt all the more convicted now in his words, knowing she'd been pregnant the entire time she'd been separated. And if he thought back, she'd been pregnant for quite some time, if she was as far along as she thought.

"It was a pleasure. Truly. She's stubborn as hell, much like yourself, but it was an adventure." And he meant it, Jimmy would do it all over again if Tom asked.

Tom looked back at the kids before Jimmy spoke again, "Do you think we should all act surprised when you tell Jenny? She'll be so pissed she's the last to know."

"Yeah, Tommy. You know how she is with being left out," Jed chimed in, standing next to his sons. Rachel admired the three men through the myriad of comments from the children. They were already on to naming the baby. She could barely get a word in, laughing the whole time.

"Well if she had come back with us and not run off with Tex…," Tom's voice conveyed his annoyance and his father and brother just laughed.

"She's still going to be pissed," Jimmy concluded, hearing a car coming up the drive.

"Let her be pissed. I'll then ask her where she spent last night and I'm sure she'll shut right up," he would always be protective of his little sister, even if he did trust Tex with her life. That didn't change the fact he'd kick Tex's ass if he hurt Jenny.

"Right, cause that won't piss her off more."

"Since when do you care about pissing her off?"

"Listen, I've been stuck with a hormonal female for five weeks now, can I catch a break, please?"

"I was not hormonal, James," Rachel chimed in over the children, raising her eyebrows at the young Chandler. Jimmy ducked his head before coming up grinning.

"Be honest, you were a bit difficult on the sub," he teased. Tom looked between the two. He needed to ask Jimmy about the time they were apart.

"I was not!"

"She really fits right in," Jed said sideways to Tom, listening to the two. Tom nodded. He couldn't be happier.

"She does."

"She's a keeper son. I'm proud of you. Congratulations."

"Congratulations for what?" Jenny asked as she stepped onto the porch. They group grew quiet before laughing, Jenny looking at the six of them, confused. "What did I miss?"

"Aunt Jenny! Dad and Rachel are having a baby!" Ashley animatedly explained, standing up to hug her father. Jenny's eyes widened before she looked up at Tom.

"Am I really the last to know?" the blonde Chandler sassed, hands on her hips. Jimmy pursed his lips, looking away.

"Told you," he said to Tom under his breath. Tom rolled his eyes, shaking his head. This. This is what he wanted most in life. These moments with family, these moments with the people he was so thankful to still have in his life after everything they'd all been through. It was smooth sailing, from here on out, he thought to himself. Or at least he hoped. He missed Darien, he always would, but right now, he wouldn't trade this for everything. They were all okay. And things were only getting better, he thought as he stared at Rachel and Sam, while he rubbed Ashley's back. This next chapter of his life would be great, he knew it. He couldn't wait to see where it took them. Though he had one thing he needed to finalize first. He'd need to talk to his father before he did anything.

XXXX

Happy #SaveTheWorldSunday! We're back on track! I hope you all enjoy this chapter! We'll see more of Jenny in the next chapter, along with Danny, Kara, Mike and co! And we'll see baby Chandler for the first time! : D

Thank you for your patience while this was written and rewritten. And I know I still owe a TON of reviews. Please don't give up on me!

Thank you for reading and reviewing! Leave a line and let me know your thoughts! They are always so appreciated!


	48. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

"You're up early," Tom's voice was quiet as he leaned against the back door frame, watching her. She sat in the yard under the dawn light, and he could see the steam rolling off her hot cup of tea. Her long hair settled against her shoulders, her cream colored sweater wrapped around her and over her hands where she held her mug. Sweatpants down to her slippers, she was the picture of comfort. A grin graced his face as he took her in, hands in the pockets of his own sweatpants. It was just past 0600, and he had expected to roll over and gather her up in his arms, only to be met with empty space. He wasn't surprised to find her out here though, taking in the yard and the cool spring breeze. She did it often, just no usually so early.

"Couldn't sleep. Did I wake you?" She turned her head slightly, looking toward him, a comfortable smile on her face. It had be a glorious week of waking up beside him, and she was beginning to believe this might possibly be real, that they might possibly get to live this normal life. The kids were starting school tomorrow, getting settled in with their grades. Tom had taken a few days to get settled, but was back on the ship on the fourth day, maintenance was starting, preparing her for any deployments she might be sent on. He was still her captain, still needed to oversee her operations. He had a meeting with the main admirals on base first thing tomorrow as well. A big day for the three Chandlers. Rachel had lay awake thinking about what his meeting would bring, how the children would adjust to school. She had so enjoyed their company the last week, she would miss them during the day. She welcomed the stability and consistency of a schedule, had work she needed to do as well.

"No, you didn't. I just didn't know where you ran off too," He stepped onto the wood deck, heading toward the chair next to her, first slowing to place a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I made coffee for you and your father," she offered, peering up at him from where she sat. Tom grinned.

"I saw, I wanted to say good morning to you first," he settled down beside her, taking in the view. "Everything okay?" he tried to read her as she peered off into the distance, studying her profile. She nodded.

"Oh yes. I'm just thinking about tomorrow," she confessed softly, leaning her head back and turning to catch his eyes. "What do you think Admiral Jenkins wants to talk about tomorrow?" She asked curiously.

Tom contemplated her question, taking a deep breath of the mountain air. "Probably to discuss a promotion, it was the next step in my career after this last tour with the Nathan James," he explained. They'd talked about it before, but it was real now. Rachel nodded.

"What's your next step in rank?"

"Captain. And then Rear Admiral. And then Admiral. I've got a few years ahead of me before that," he laughed slightly, leaning forward in the Adirondack chair, resting his elbows on his knees. "Is that really what was keeping you from going back to sleep? Are you worried they'll deploy me again?" His tone was understanding, trying to read her expression. She chewed her cheek, thoughtful.

"Well, yes. That, and hoping the children fit in well with their classmates," she paused, staring off at the lake, "and later today too."

Realization dawn on his face and he nodded, now fully understanding. "The ultrasound?" He confirmed what he had suspected. She nodded. His hand found her knee, squeezing. "Rach, everything will be just fine. Our baby is in there, and it's healthy and growing. We'll finally know how far along you are. Haven't you been looking forward to it?"

"Of course, I'm just apprehensive is all," She sipped her tea and when she was finished, he took the mug from her, setting it down on the deck, and pulled her hand.

"Come here," he told her, motioning to his lap. He settled back in the large wooden chair, and she sat down sideways, curling up on him, arm around his neck. Tom rubbed her back, trying to soothe her. "It's going to be great, don't worry. Worry isn't good for the baby." He knew she knew that, but he had no problem reiterating it. She needed to relax.

"I know this, Doctor Chandler," Rachel teased lightly, rolling her eyes, "I just hope we see what we want to see," she told him, leaning her forehead against his temple.

"We will, baby, _don't worry_," he replied gently, fingers sliding up and down her back comfortingly.

"You're so sure," she sighed. She never thought she'd have a family, let alone a baby. She didn't want to lose it. It was one of her biggest fears.

"I am. I'm choosing not to worry until I _have_ to. I suggest you do the same," he understood her worries and her fears, he had them too, but he didn't let them drown him. And thus far he had no indication hers were this intense.

She sighed, her breath tickling his ear, "You're right," she whispered.

"I always am," he replied quickly, with a teasing tone. She playfully pushed him away but it only made him hold her tighter. "There's my girl," he said of her laugh. She rolled her eyes. "Stop worrying," he commanded her one last time. She huffed.

"Fine, I'll stop," she appeased him with her words, wasn't actually sure she could.

"Thank you," he replied just as a throat cleared in the doorway.

"Am I interrupting something?" Jed asked, smirking as he stepped onto the deck, cup of coffee in hand. Rachel shook her head, catching Tom's blues.

"Nope, I was just heading in to make breakfast," she kissed his nose, before she slipped from his lap, his hands holding on to her as long as possible. "Any requests?" She asked the two men before her as she picked up her mug from beside Tom.

"Eggs, please?" Jed tossed out.

"And bacon," Tom added. Rachel laughed. She knew how the men liked their eggs. Had learned a lot about their eating habits over the past week.

"Coming right up," she ruffled Tom's hair on the way by as she headed in for breakfast.

"You know what I still miss, pop?" Tom leaned back in the comfortable chair, as the sun rose higher into the sky. Jed thought about Tom's question for a moment.

"What, son?"

"Major league baseball." The two men laughed into the morning air, recounting their favorite players' moments while Rachel made them breakfast. There was something so enjoyable and comfortable about these moments. And it helped to distract them from what was to come.

XXXXX

"Okay, are you ready to see your little baby?" Jenny asked excitedly, switching on the monitor. They'd opted for the ship's sickbay, where Rachel had set up the ultrasound machine for Kara. There was a hospital on base, where she and Kara would give birth, but she wanted the intimacy of the ship and Jenny for this first ultrasound, in case anything was awry.

They weren't sure how far along Rachel was, and this would help determine that, along with the due date. Jenny squeezed the gel onto the end of the probe, and placed it gently on Rachel's stomach. Tom stood to Rachel's right, holding her hand, the children to her left. Despite her worry about what they'd see, Tom had insisted the children come along and be a part of this special moment. Rachel had reluctantly agreed, praying they wouldn't see something terrible.

Jenny was quiet a long moment as she found the correct position and Rachel held her breath, staring at the monitor, squeezing Tom's hand with everything she had. All she could think of was that there wouldn't be a fetus, or worse. And the longer it took Jenny, the more anxious Rachel became. Tom grimaced, placing his other hand on Rachel's hand as it squeezed his.

"Easy," he urged, brows knitted together in pain. She released her tight hold but didn't let go of her fear.

Finally Jenny smiled, letting out her own breathe as she focused the probe over one spot. "There, finally. It's clear I'm not an OBGYN, now, isn't it?" she laughed at herself, looking at Tom and Rachel. Tom chuckled but Rachel barely broke a smile.

"Where's the heartbeat?" Rachel asked quietly. Jenny, moved the probe a little bit.

"How far along did you say you thought you were?" She asked the other doctor. Rachel shrugged.

"I thought 12-14 weeks, why?" Worry was laden in her voice.

"I don't think you're quite that far…" her voice drifted off as she finally found a good spot, and the heartbeat pulsed through the small room. Rachel practically wept in relief and Tom could feel his heart swell in his chest, squeezing her hand tightly. The children gawked at the small peanut-shaped being on the screen. Jenny took a few stills of the fetus and then proceeded to measure it and track the heartbeat. "Judging by the measurement, you're actually about ten weeks along," Jenny explained, "but it's got a strong heartbeat and everything looks great!" She took a moment to explain a few small things to the children, pointing at the screen, as Tom kissed her forehead, slipping a few strands of her long hair behind her ear.

"See? Nothing to worry about," Tom assured her, as his eyes danced between her and the screen. Rachel nodded as her own were trained on the small fetus.

"I can't believe it," she murmured in disbelief, "we're really having a baby."

Tom nodded, his own excitement bubbling in his stomach, "We are. What do you think, guys?" he asked the kids, watching them watch the screen.

"This is so cool!" Sam exclaimed, "can you tell if it's a boy or girl, Aunt Jenny?"

"Not yet, bud. About ten more weeks and I will be able to," she explained. Ashley walked around the table, hugging her father around his waist.

"I can't wait until it's born. Can we be there?"

"Probably not in the delivery room, but right after, definitely," Tom told her, kissing the top of her head. He squeezed Rachel's hand again, pleased with the children's reactions. "Now we can think about names, whether it's a boy or a girl," he added, rubbing Ashley's back.

"I really hope it's a boy," Sam spoke wistfully, looking up at Tom. Ashley shook he head against his chest.

"Kara and Danny are having a boy, this one better be a girl," she argued, watching as Jenny cleaned up Rachel's stomach, Rachel sliding her shirt down.

"As long as it's healthy, that's what matters," Jenny reasoned with the children, laughing as she put away her tools. She then proceeded to draw blood from Rachel as Tom and the children chatter about possible names for their future sibling. He ushered the children out onto the p-way, telling Rachel he'd meet her topside. She nodded with a loving smile.

"They're super excited," Jenny spoke once they were alone. Rachel nodded, smiling softly.

"They are. I'm so happy they are."

"They love you, Rach. This is just an extension of that. They'll be great little helpers, and you have Tom, who's already done this twice. You're in good hands," the younger woman reasoned with Rachel, grinning, pulling the small tubes in bags for the lab.

"You're right. It's just so surreal. I'm not even sure how I'll do as a parent," her anxiety was evident in her voice.

"You'll be great. You already are with those two. Don't worry so much," Jenny teased. Rachel laughed at her friend, shaking her head.

"Your brother tells me that on a daily basis." She waited a beat before changing the subject, rolling her sleeve down. "How are thing between you and Tex, by the way?"

"Ehh, they're all right. I'm not sure what's going on. I think things are fizzling…," the blonde shrugged, dropping her eyes.

"Oh, Jenny. I'm sorry. Why do you say that?"

"I think he's just not one for settling down, and I think, after everything that has happened, I am. Which is surprising for me, but I'm not interested in anything other than staying put right now. Putting down roots, you know?" Jenny leaned against the counter, crossing her arms. Rachel nodded, knowing wholeheartedly what she meant.

"It's for the best then. You want someone who is all in, not just halfway. There are plenty of men on base. I'm sure you'll find one that interests you, who's interested in the same things."

"We'll see. Tex and I are still working on it." Rachel nodded at her words. "Please don't tell Tom, I don't want him worrying or threatening to kick anyone's ass," a laugh mixed with her words and Rachel nodded, her own laugh joining.

"I won't say a word. If you ever need to talk, I'm here."

"Thanks Rachel. I'm so happy to have you as a sister-in-law," the words were out before Jenny could stop them, and though her expression showed she immediately noticed her slip-up, Rachel brushed her off.

"Maybe someday," she laughed. Truthfully, she wasn't rushing a wedding. She was focused on this baby, and wasn't about to make Tom walk down the aisle once more. That was a decision he'd need to make on his own.

XXXXX

Two long weeks later, Tom arrived home late from work to a quiet, clean house. His promotion straight to Admiral was taking a toll on his time at home as he settled into the position, and Rachel had taken over as the keeper of their home. The children were tucked into bed, school was early the next morning, and as Tom poured himself a scotch, he presumed Rachel and his father were as well. He took a moment to sip his beverage, looking around the expansive home, thinking about his life and how much things has changed in the last three weeks.

Living on land had proven to have its challenges. Ashley was having a hard time adjusting to school, making friends wasn't coming easily too her. He felt for her, but knew it would take time. Girls were a hard breed. Her troubles over the last week had him hoping the baby was a boy. If he wasn't already fully gray, Ashley's tears would definitely be helping the process along tenfold.

Sam had settled into school, making friends, and already playing for the school baseball team. Tom had been to his games, was proud of how well the young child played. It reminded him of their days back in Norfolk. A twinge of nostalgia always filled him when he thought of their old life, but he pushed it away. It felt like lifetimes ago. He lived in the now. Things were going back to normal, whatever that meant.

Rachel spent her days in the lab, her evenings taking care of the kids. Jed got them off to school and received them off the base bus, helping them with their homework. He was happy to have his father living with them, and knew Rachel wasn't ready to send the man on his own yet. Tom wasn't sure it would ever happen, and he was fine with that. Once the baby was here, they'd need all the help they could get, Tom knew. He wouldn't get much time off, so he'd need someone around to make sure Rachel was doing okay when he did have to go back to work.

He thumbed the ring in his pants pocket. He had commissioned Lt. Chung to make a ring from a bit of steel of the _Nathan James_, had bought two small diamonds from an older sailor on base. Chung wasn't a jeweler, but Tom had wanted the ring to be special, and the engineer had done an impeccable job of setting the two diamonds in the steel, as well as rounding the edges perfectly. His father had agreed, it seemed only right that the ship be a part of their union. It, after all, had brought them together. He just hadn't found the right moment to give it to her. They'd been so busy, seemingly passing like ships in the night most days. But he wouldn't trade wrapping her up in his arms at night for anything. At least they had that right now.

Tom made his way up the stairs, drink in hand. He checked on both children, sleeping sound, before heading to their bedroom. A low light glowed from the bathroom and he noticed the bed was empty. Immediately worried, he took quick strides to the bathroom. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her, head back on a towel, in their large tub. She opened her eyes, turning her head to catch his. She smiled up at him, relaxed.

"Hey sailor, glad you're home," she greeted, not moving from her comfortable bubble bath. She had put the kids to bed and needed a few moments to herself. That had turned into an hour of dozing, relaxed, in the tub. She was too refreshed to move.

Tom grinned, stepping toward her, bending to place a kiss to her lips. "Me too. How are you feeling?"

"Great, now that you're home. I've missed you," she reached her wet hand up to lace her fingers with his free hand. "Join me?" Her words were spoken softly and despite his exhaustion, he couldn't resist those soft, begging, brown eyes.

"Of course." He sat his drink down before turning back to the bed room to put his working whites up properly, before returning in a towel. She leaned forward, welcoming his presence into the tub behind her. She leaned back into his chest, felt an arm enclose around her. Tom sipped his scotch as Rachel hummed softly, head now tilted back against his shoulder. He took note of how beautiful she looked, long hair spun on top of her head, face free of any makeup, brow free of stress, eyes closed. She looked stunning.

He'd had this big plan, taking her own on a sailboat next weekend, candlelight and a meal planned. But now, as she lay against him, just as he'd thought when he'd walked in and saw her there, so relaxed, he couldn't think of a better moment. His hand surfaced and he pulled the small ring off his pinky, holding it in front of her.

"Rachel," he whispered in her ear. He was met with a 'hmmm', furthermore indicating her relaxed state. He beamed. "Will you marry me?" He felt her still, her breathing ceasing. He held his own as he waited for her reaction.

Rachel wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly. Had she been dreaming? She'd been so in the moment. She lifted her head up off his shoulder, opening her eyes slowly. When her brown hues came in contact with the beautiful silver ring in front of her, she knew she hadn't misheard. She stared for a moment.

"Tom, is that…do you mean..?" She hadn't been anticipating a proposal of any kind, let alone right now, tonight. Tom nodded.

"Yes, Rach, I do. I love you. Marry me?" He lifted her left hand from the water, slipping the ring on her finger. It fit just as he'd hoped, and she turned her hand up, staring at it. He tried to catch a glimpse of her face. He found the utter shock adorable.

"It's beautiful," she breathed, staring at the ring. And it was. It was _perfect_. "Yes," she said next, turning her head toward his. Now he could see the glossy tint to her dark eyes, the amazement. He smiled fully, overjoyed. "Yes, yes." She repeated, the words coming out quickly and breathlessly, as she captured his lips. He kissed her back, soft yet passionate, wrapping both arms around her waist. They kissed a long moment, tongues dueling, until their lips were swollen and they had to come up for air. She stared at the ring again, taken aback. She hadn't seen this coming at all. And she loved that. He's managed to surprise her entirely.

"Where did you get this ring? It's gorgeous," she remarked, in awe. He kissed up her neck.

"Chung made it per my request. _Nathan James_ steel on your finger. Indestructible. Strong. The place we met," he pushed a loose strand behind her ear, turned her head to kiss her forehead.

There were no words she could find to tell him how much she loved the ring, how happy she felt. Instead she twisted in the large jacuzzi tub, her hands grasping his cheeks gently, pressing her lips to his. Water splashed around them slightly as he pulled her closer, his large hands splayed across her soft back.

"It's perfect," she whispered a long moment later, forehead against his. "I love you."

"I love _you_," he replied, placing his lips softly against hers again. She melted into him, his kisses. His hand slid down to her abdomen and she felt her soul shine with love for the man holding her so tightly.

"Let's get married soon, before I start to show," she requested suddenly. He laughed against her lips lightly.

"Whatever you want, baby," he replied, holding her tighter, his thumb stroking her still flat belly. It make butterflies swirl within her.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" She asked playfully. He looked thoughtful a moment before replying.

"I'm not sure. Maybe you could remind me?"

"Let me show you," she captured his lips again, this time more heated than the previous, one hand sliding behind his neck, the other sliding around his shoulders, pressing herself into his chest.

XXXXX

Happy #SaveTheWorldSunday! So sorry I missed last week, real life has been a bit relentless as of late. Please leave a line and let me know how you feel about this chapter! I look forward to your thoughts! Look on twitter in the next few days for a sneak peak of the next chapter!

Thank you for reading and reviewing! Only 21 days left!


	49. Chapter 45--THE END

Chapter 45—The End

"Where is that bloody earring?" Rachel grumbled, searching through her jewelry box for a specific pair of ruby studs she'd had for years. She needed to wear them today. It was important. She'd thought originally she would go with the pearls Kara had offered her, but the rubies has been her mother's. She'd kept them safe with her all this time, it seemed appropriate, since neither of her parents could be here for this day. "Ah, there you are," she finally found the other one at the bottom of the wooden box. She sighed with relief, securing the small earring in her other ear before she stood back in front of the full length mirror Tom had purchased her a few weeks prior from someone on base.

Her hands settled on the ivory fabric and she marveled at how perfectly it fit. The base had become a full community, and weddings were a natural part of life. Rachel had found the dress at a small dress shop, and with some alterations, it was a dream. Strapless to show off her petite shoulders, fitted at the waist, but with enough tulle and give underneath to allow the four-month bump she proudly had, without making it noticeable. The dress flared out around her, with a sash tied into a bow behind her. Christine has pulled Rachel's hair up elegantly into a French twist, showcasing her long neck. She couldn't have imagined it more perfectly. She felt at ease. This was right for her, meant to be.

The planning had been easy, the two of them settling on exchanging vows at the base chapel, where almost everyone would attend, and then a small reception back at their house for many of the crew of the _Nathan James_. They had chosen to keep the reception intimate due to space and because the crew was tight-knit. With Tom as an Admiral, and highly regarded on base, it was only right they invite a larger group for their ceremony, which would be complete with the traditional Arch of Swords upon their exit. The children, along with Jenny and Jimmy, would stand at their sides, and Jed was to give her away. Tears of happiness filled her eyes as she thought through all the details. Tom had let her make this exactly what she'd wanted, which was simple, with their closest friends and family as their biggest part of the event. She'd borrowed Christine's veil that Kara had worn, considered the ruby earrings her something old. Her new was the dress and her special ring, and the blue was a small bracelet Ashley has made from thread Tom had bought her in town. The small braided fabric lay around her small wrist and Rachel touched it lovingly. The children had been an integral part of preparing this event, their fun very important to Rachel and Tom. With the baby on the way, they wanted to make sure neither felt neglected, especially today.

Life has settled into a normal pace, and Rachel was so looking forward to being a _wife_ and a _mother_, along with being a scientist. Cooking dinner every night, tucking the children into bed, doing laundry and dishes, it all had become mainstays in her life. She worked hard and efficiently all day so she could come home to her _family_. She wouldn't change this new dynamic for anything. They had come so, so far since Norfolk all those months ago. It seemed like a lifetime had come and gone to get them where they were now. Her hand settled on her small bump through the dress and she glowed. She wouldn't change any of it for anything.

A small knock sounded from the door, and Rachel turned slightly. "Come in," she called, picking up her bouquet from its place in a small vase. The small bundle of Coast Rhododendron, the Washington State flower that grew around their backyard, was wrapped with an ivory ribbon to match her dress. The door opened and Jenny emerged, looking stunning in a tea-length black sleeveless dress, though Rachel knew the tall blonde would look stunning in anything. She smiled warmly at her soon to be sister-in-law.

"Are you ready, beautiful bride?" Jenny smiled brightly, hand on her slender hip, taking in Rachel's ensemble. "You look stunning. Tom is going to die when he sees you."

Rachel blushed, dipping her head a moment. "Thank you, Jenny," she took a deep, cleansing breath before continuing, "I am very ready."

"Well, Mike is downstairs with the SUV, so let's get this show on the road. Ashley is practically jumping up and down in the driveway ready to burst," the blonde chuckled and Rachel couldn't help but laugh at Ashley's antics. Mike had offered to drive her from the house to the ceremony, as Christine had helped her get ready. Tom was already at the chapel, awaiting her arrival.

"Well, let's not keep the poor girl waiting," she picked up the veil off the dresser, carrying it gently down the stairs for Christine to help her with. As she stepped gently down the stairs, she caught sight of Mike and his wife sharing a moment in the kitchen. Mike looked handsome in his whites, his cover under one arm, the other arm wrapped around his wife, who had one hand on his cheek. Christine looked beautiful in a light blue dress. The pair looked wonderful together. Rachel chose not to say anything, but Jenny was always full of sass.

"Oh you two, get a room," she teased, stepping off the stairs behind Rachel. Christine blushed while Mike just rolled his eyes. Rachel loved seeing the happy couple together, knew they also had come a long way from where they'd been upon his deployment to the Arctic.

"Watch that mouth, Chandler," he warned her with a smirk. She only stuck her tongue out at him on her way by. Their familiarity with one another always allowed for the brother/sister banter. He gestured toward the front door. "You look beautiful, Rachel. Your chariot awaits."

Ashley stood by the SUV, her eyes widening upon seeing Rachel for the first time as she stepped out of the house into the mountain sun. The young girl wore a sleeveless navy dress, her long dark hair settling against her shoulders. She stepped toward Rachel, who met her halfway between the house and the black Tahoe.

"You look so gorgeous," she told Rachel, reaching for her hand. Rachel held it tightly, taking the girl's compliment to heart. "I'm so happy you're marrying my dad," she said softly with a beaming smile. Rachel could feel her heart swell in her chest.

"Me too, sweetie. So much," She pulled Ashley in, wrapping her arms around her soon to be husband's daughter, and kissed the top of her head. Mike started the truck, while Christine and Jenny waited to help Rachel climb in without ruining her dress.

"I love you, Rachel," Ashley whispered. Rachel felt her breath catch her in throat, and she squeezed the young girl.

"I love you too, sweet girl," she whispered in reply, leaning back to kiss her forehead. "Let's go see your dad, shall we?" She held Ashley's hand as she nodded adamantly. Rachel smiled broadly, stepping toward the SUV, Ashley tightly to her side.

XXXXX

Mike pulled up to the side entrance of the beautiful base church. Christine and Jenny helped Rachel gently out of the car, Jed waiting in his sharp navy-colored suit by the door. His eyes shined with unshed tears of happiness as she stepped up to him. Jenny took Ashley inside, giving the pair a moment, while Mike and Christine headed inside the front of the church to take their seats with the other guests. Jed took all of Rachel in, clasping his hands over one of hers.

"I am so honored to give you away. Thank you for asking me," he told her softly, eyes searching hers. She sniffled a little, holding back her own tears.

"Thank you, Jed. It means more than you know," and it did. Without her own parents here, he was the next best thing. There's no one else she would have asked. Except maybe Jimmy, but only because of the bond they'd built while they'd been together all that time. But Jed was her first choice, always.

"Tom has been waiting patiently, but he's definitely more than ready for this," Jed helped her up the stairs and inside the church. She stepped carefully, arm linked through his. Jenny and Ashley waited for them by the door to the main hall.

"Maybe we should make him wait a little bit longer, make him sweat it out," the bride suggested playfully, slowing her steps as they neared the door. Jed smirked and Jenny laughed, while Ashley looked worried.

"That's the woman my son is marrying, the fiery one," Jed teased, tapping her hand where is rested on his arm. Darien had always had a way about handling Tom, but Rachel enjoyed pushing the man's buttons in a way that was endearing. She would keep Tom on his toes, Jed knew.

Jenny motioned through the door, and a soft classical tune began to play. Jed squeezed her hand as both Jenny and Ashley prepared for their own walk down the aisle. For the first time, she felt antsy. She wanted to see him. It had been over twenty-four hours since they'd parted ways, Mike and Jimmy taking him out for drinks and then he'd slept at Jimmy's. She missed him, and wanted to see him in his whites, with his Admiral insignia. As the separate tune started, they rounded the corner, as the guests all stood. Rachel had a moment of shock, as she would have never seen _this_ in her future five years ago. But as she stood down the aisle from Tom, there wasn't a place in this world she would rather be.

He looked striking in his whites, standing at the alter, hands clasped in front of him. He was all she saw, eyes locked on one another's. They had a house, children and a baby on the way. But this…they'd definitely saved the best for last.

With each step, she was reminded of every argument, every disagreement, every triumph and every tragedy. All of the moments that had brought them here. Their rocky start, their mistrust, their stolen kisses, their growing love. The gunshot wound, the tears, the dance at Kara and Danny's wedding. The trials, Baltimore, the cure. Neither of them could have ever predicted how any of this would play out. And neither would change one moment.

Tom couldn't take his eyes off of her. Wasn't even sure if he had taken a breath since she'd walked in on his father's arm. There wasn't anything about her that wasn't perfect. This entire moment was perfect. His throat tightened as tears threatened to spill. He'd been fortunate enough to find love once, but _twice_? There wasn't a word to describe how thankful he was for Rachel.

As Jed stopped in front of his son, with his son's bride on his arm, he turned to Rachel, squeezing her hand one last time. "Welcome to the family, officially," he said softly, kissing her cheek. Rachel smiled, full of emotion, not trusting her voice just yet, as Jed placed her hand in Tom's. He took his seat next to Danny, Kara, and their sleeping baby boy, Dylan, in the front row. Rachel stepped up to stand across from Tom in front of the chaplain. As they settled a moment, Tom took the chance to speak.

"I've never seen anything more beautiful," he whispered, his blues locked on hers. She blushed madly under his gaze, but hers never wavered.

"I love you," she replied, holding his hands tightly. He mouthed it back as the chaplain began the ceremony and the guests were seated.

The ceremony was a blur for both of them. Vows were said flawlessly, full of emotion, as rings were slipped on. Tom had also had his ring made from the ship, a thick, masculine band. Rachel would only wear the one ring he'd made her they decided, she didn't need two she thought. The one was perfect, she'd told him, more than once.

The kiss was serene and slow, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. She grinned against his lips as he pulled back, his eyes opening to capture hers, the pair taking a beat to savor the moment, before the hall erupted in applause and the pair turned to head down the aisle, arm in arm.

As they reached the foyer, Tom pulled her off to the side, into a small room for a moment of privacy. His hands settled on her cheeks, kissing her beaming pink lips. She rested her hands, albeit bouquet, against his elbows, savoring in the kiss, their first alone as husband and wife. She couldn't stop the giddy laugh that escaped her through the kiss. She was met with his own, and a kiss on the forehead.

Before either could speak, the kids were practically running into the room, hugging the pair. Sam latched on to Rachel's waist, and she could feel more tears as he told her how happy he was. Ashley hugged her father, no words needed to be spoken, the broad smile on her face was enough, and she and Rachel shared a knowing glance.

Their small private moment was only such as Jenny was calling for them to step out for their announcement. The entire group of guests had gathered outside the church, and a group of eight officers had assembled to perform the Arch of Swords. Danny, Burk, Miller, Jeter, and Mike were mixed in the group, which Rachel found only fitting. As they stepped to the top of the stairs, the chaplain stood off to the side to announce the pair.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Admiral and Mrs. Thomas Chandler!" The guests erupted in applause as they descended the stairs, under the first set of swords slowly. The second set crossed in front of the pair, and Rachel had a moment of confusion before Tom gently coaxed her into a small kiss. The swords then crossed above them again, and they stepped down, only to be stopped by the next pair of swords. Rachel couldn't help by laugh as this continued until the end. And as they passed Mike and Danny, who were the last two, Mike playfully tapped Rachel on the behind with his sword, before crossing it back with Danny's. Rachel jumped slightly in surprise, looking back at him, eyes wide, only to receive a wink. She laughed, her cheeks pink.

They slowed to greet a few of the higher officers on base, who offered their congratulations. Everything felt surreal, especially for Rachel, who had never experienced anything like this before. She knew many of the officers from dinners and from seeing them around base with Tom, and welcomed their words. Some of them would be attending the reception, but most gave their well-wishes and went on their ways. The rest of the Chandlers went on to receive people at the house, so Tom and Rachel could take their time thanking people for attending.

When they were finally alone in their car, Tom reached over, grasping her hand that now wore the ring of their marriage. "I don't think we could have planned that more perfectly," he told her, pulling out of the parking lot and heading in the direction of their home. She nodded.

"I agree. It was enchanting. I can't believe we're _married_," she told him, her voice full of awe as she gazed at him as they drove.

"After everything we've been through, too," he added, sending a smile in her direction.

"I do feel we were very lucky," she told him honestly, her voice soft.

"We are," he agreed.

XXXXX

The reception had turned into roughly a hundred people gathered throughout their house and backyard. Rachel and Tom tried to stay together as much as they could, but they spent much of the afternoon apart, talking with their guests, enjoying the glory of their day.

Rachel found him as the crowd was thinning and the sun was setting, looking out over the water, holding Dylan, the Greens' son. He slept soundly in Tom's arms, his little head against Tom's chest. Rachel had helped to deliver the boy two months prior at the base hospital. Kara had been strong, pushing out the seven pound, eight ounce healthy boy. She'd received wonderful care at the hospital, and Rachel actually felt much better about delivering her own there now.

She placed her hand gently on Tom's back, peering at the infant's sleeping features. "I thought you had left me down here to fend for myself," she teased, rubbing his back through his dress white jacket. Tom smiled lightly.

"Dylan was fussing, and I needed an escape. So I offered to take the little guy so Danny and Kara could enjoy some time alone. It was quieter down here." Rachel stared up at her husband with the infant, finding herself wondering if it would be their son or daughter he would be holding soon enough.

"That was sweet of you."

"Yeah, well, I'm known to be sweet occasionally," he winked down at her, kissing her forehead. "How was your wedding day, Mrs. Chandler?" He loved the sound of her new name on his lips. _His_ name.

"It has been truly wonderful, Admiral Chandler," she paused a moment, looking up at him thoughtfully, "I have to be honest, Admiral doesn't have quite the same ring to it as Captain," she told him, her eyes glinting playfully. Tom raised an eyebrow.

"Well, lucky for you, I'm still the CO of the _Nathan James_, so you can still call me that, if you'd prefer," his voice grew a bit deeper and softer. She licked her lips.

"I do like to call you _captain_," she moved closer to him, her hand sliding up his back to his neck gently. Tom raised his eyebrows innocently.

"Shhh, not in front of the baby," he replied playfully. She rolled her eyes, laughing.

"Just wait until later,_ Captain _Chandler," she replied, eyes narrowing. He chuckled.

"Oh, I'm counting on it, Mrs. Chandler."

XXXX

The next five months flew by. Tom was busy with weapons testings out at sea, as well as his desk work back in his office, and Rachel was doing new research on a potentially new strain of the virus another ship had picked up overseas. She didn't handle the actual samples anymore, now that her pregnancy was progressing, but she oversaw the paperwork and the research. It had been an argument for her safety, and the safety of their unborn child, that Tom had won. She'd been angry and defeated, but in the end she did see his point.

The kids had settled into their routine and were excitedly awaiting the birth of their brother or sister. They had decided to let it be a surprise, wanted to keep everyone guessing. The game of what name they would choose had also become an enjoyable regular around the house, one that was never-ending.

She was due the following week, and Tom had been at sea the last two days. He was due home that afternoon, and Rachel was thankful, as she'd been feeling more and more restless. It was Saturday morning, and she was utterly thankful for the day without work. She never thought she'd find herself thankful for a day off, but now, at nine months pregnant, a day off was a blessing.

She pulled a fresh load of laundry out of the dryer, carrying the basket to the couch to fold. She was lost in thought, trying to think of what to make for Tom's return dinner, and a tightening sensation in her belly, full of surprising pain, knocked the wind out of her. She sucked in her breath and grasped her belly, waiting for the moment to pass. When it did, she sighed with relief, only to find herself feeling another sensation she hadn't quite expected. Shock didn't cover her emotion. Her water had just broke. Changing her clothes, she opted to finish folding the clothing, and time her contractions as they happened. She would wait for Tom here, and then they would go to the hospital together, she decided. As long as she _could_ wait.

XXXXX

Tom pushed open the door to the house, dropping his bag on the floor. It was quiet in the large house, but as he checked his watch, he realized the kids weren't home from school yet. He shut the door, stepping further in. "Rach, I'm home!" he called out. When he wasn't met with a response, he went in search. Her car was in the driveway. Maybe she was taking a nap?

His two days at sea had been productive, but it made him miss home. He missed his family now more than ever it seemed; it was hard being away. Harder than before the outbreak, before the Arctic. There was so much worry that sat with him when he left them on the dock. He'd been going underway every other week for two or three days at most. They did mostly weapons and sonar testing, it was detailed and intricate. But he loved it. Loved being an Admiral.

But he also loved being a husband and a father. The two duties pulled at each other often.

Heading up the stairs, he stepped quietly as he reached their bedroom. He found Rachel laying on her side in the bed, smiling at how round her belly had become. He'd watched her blossom into a beautiful pregnant woman, all belly. She was tough, hardly complained, and was always very matter-of-fact about her aches and pains. Lately she'd been having Braxton-Hicks contractions, and had been enjoying them, the body's preparation for delivery. He was just glad she hadn't gone into labor while he'd been at sea. He'd told his superior that this would be his last short tour until after the birth, for fear he'd miss something. He knelt down by her side of the bed, and her eyes opened slowly.

"You're home," she said softly. Tom nodded, brushing her wet hair behind her ear.

"I am. Did you just shower?" he asked curiously, running his hand down her arm, to rest against her belly. She nodded against the pillow.

"I did," she seemed about to continue when he could feel her belly harden under his hand and her eyes closed again. He knew that feeling, it happened with the Braxton-Hicks, but something about her expression told him this was hurting.

"Babe?" his voice was laden with concern as he waited for her to breathe again. After a moment, the tension eased and her eyes opened, as she took a few panting breathes.

"My water broke," she said it so easily, Tom was sure he had heard her wrong. Furrowing his brow, he leaned closer to her.

"What did you say?"

"My water broke," She placed her hand on his, and a small smile covered her face. "You're going to meet your baby soon," she told him, her tone telling him of her excitement. He wasn't listening however, immediately looking around the room.

"Why are you still here? Did you call Jenny? She could have taken you to the hospital. Come on, get up, we've got to go!" His voice was frantic as he stood, finding the hospital bag they had packed last week for just this very moment. She didn't move however, simply chuckled as she heard him run down the stairs, bag in hand. He reappeared five minutes later, looking exasperated. "Rachel, unless you want to have this baby here, I suggest we get to the hospital."

"Why rush? My contractions are 15 minutes apart, and they have been. Nothing is progressing quickly. I'd rather lay here and suffer through them until they're closer, than lay in a hospital bed with a bunch of nurses about," she waved for him, and distraught, he walked to her, sitting down beside her. She grasped his hand. "Just sit with me. I promise, when they get closer, we'll go. I've already called the doctor and she said this is just fine," she reassured him. Tom didn't look convinced, his nervous expression making her laugh.

"I still think we should go…" his voice drifted off, but she shook her head.

"Change your clothes and lay with me," she requested. Glancing down at his duty whites, he nodded. He made his way to their closet, where he slipped into jeans and a long sleeve tee-shirt, before laying down behind her. His hand rubbed her belly as they lay in silence, waiting for the next contraction. As he encouraged her to breathe through it, he had the surreal thought that their child was about to enter this world. And though this was his third, the miracle never seemed to be any less of exactly that.

"I still really like Felicity," he told her once the pain had subsided, "Or Chloe. I'm not opposed of Thomas Jr for a boy either," he added, his voice betraying his teasing grin.

"So you've said about ten different times," she teased back, slowing her breathing. "I'm thinking it will come to us when we see him or her. What about Samantha? Or Grace? Maybe John, Jack for short, if it's a boy."

"I never understood why people named a child John and called him Jack for short; it's the same amount of letters…"

"Well, I like it."

"And I like Thomas, Jr."

"All right, if it's a boy, he'll be Thomas Jr," she relented with a laugh. She really didn't mind it, enjoyed teasing him about it. But she really felt it was a girl.

"It's definitely a boy," Tom added, kissing her temple. She shook her head.

"Nope, I think it's a girl."

"Well, we're finally going to find out, aren't we? Let me call Jimmy to get the kids from school. And I'll let him run by the store and let Dad know not to come home," Jed had taken up working at the base hardware store to pass the time, thoroughly enjoyed it. Jimmy was working as head of security at Rachel's lab, could easily escape for a few minutes and grab the kids.

"This could take hours, Tom. I made dinner for the kids, let them come home and get settled, and we'll have them come by once the baby is born."

"Are you kidding? They'll want to be right there in the waiting room, Rach. They're so excited."

"I know, I just don't want everyone to be waiting, chomping at the bit for this baby. He or she may take their sweet time," she warned as another contraction started to sear through her. Tom waited until it had passed, checking his watch.

"Those last two were ten minutes apart. I'd say he or she will be making an appearance sooner than you'd think. How long have you been at this anyway?" He sat up, helping her into a sitting position slowly.

"Only four hours."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Rachel Chandler! You should have taken yourself to the hospital! What if you'd been here all alone when the baby had decided to come?"

"I would have called your sister," she replied back, matter of fact. And that had been her plan if he'd been late getting home. Jenny already knew her water had broken, was prepared for the call. Rachel had requested Jenny not come though, she wanted to struggle through on her own until Tom got home.

"You're going to be the death of me, woman. Let's go, I'm not taking no for an answer this time," he helped her to stand, walking her toward the door very slowly, her hand clutching his.

"Promise me you will not drive like a maniac," she looked up at him as they made their way down the stairs to where their shoes and the bag awaited them.

"You let me worry about my driving. I will get us there just fine."

"At the speed of light, I'm sure."

"How can you have so much attitude while you're having contractions?"

"I'm not exactly a weak woman, if you weren't aware already. I survived being shot by your brother, I can birth your child and tell you to drive the speed limit at the same time." He helped her into the SUV, throwing the bag in the back seat, all the while huffing at her reply.

"That child better stay in there until we're at the hospital," he warned, his eyes wide and weary. Rachel laughed slightly.

"Don't worry, it will," she replied, as another strong contraction took over. Tom put the car in drive and hit the gas, his nerves taking over.

XXXXX

"Grandpa, how much longer? I feel like we've been here for days," Sam asked tiredly from his place in a chair across the waiting room. Ashley nodded from where her head lay against Jimmy's shoulder.

"I didn't know it took so long to have a baby," she added, yawning. Jenny nodded sympathetically at the young girl.

"Well, you see, the baby has to move its way down into the birth canal—"

"Jen, I don't think they need to know the graphic labor details at 10 and 14," Jimmy interrupted, covering Ashley's exposed ear. Jenny rolled her eyes.

"It's a natural part of life," she defended, crossing her arms.

"Maybe for another time, when I'm not around," he made a gagging face, going back to his report he'd been reading.

"When you and Valerie decide to have a baby, you're going to see it all, James," Jenny informed him, raising her chin up defiantly.

"Valerie and I still have a long way to go before we're married, let alone having children. Maybe when that happens, I'll be adult enough to handle it," he snapped back, not bothering to look up at his sister.

"You two, take a note on how the younger Chandlers are behaving, please," Jed suggested, shaking his head at his two younger children. They both grew quiet as Tom finally pushed open the doors leading back to the delivery ward. Ashley and Sam were on their feet at once, scrambling toward their father. His proud smile told them all had gone well.

"Daddy! What happened? How is Rachel and the baby? Did she have the baby?" Ashley asked excitedly, grasping one hand while Sam grasped the other. Tom nodded.

"She did. A baby girl, six pounds, eleven ounces, born about forty-five minutes ago. A tiny thing, but perfectly healthy. Rachel and the baby are both doing great," Tom took the congratulations hugs from everyone, so happy he could burst.

"What name did you pick?" Sam asked, eyes wide with curiosity.

Tom grinned. "Why don't you go back and ask Rachel yourself," he encouraged. He excused them from his family, telling them he'd be back for them, before leading the kids down the long corridor to the quiet patient room where Rachel was sitting up slightly in bed, looking as tired as ever. Her hair was piled up on her head, but the smile on her face told both children she was happy and well. They crept toward the bed, where the small infant lay in Rachel's arms. Her little eyes were closed, and she seemed to be sleeping.

"Ashley, Sam, meet Madelyn Theresa, your new little sister," Rachel introduced her to the pair, tilting her arms to show them her round face. She explained that Madelyn had been a name in her family, while Theresa was their father's mother's name. At no point were either name something they had discussed, but now, it fit. The children agreed.

"Little Madelyn," Ashley ran her finger over the baby's blotchy cheek.

"We'll call her Maddie for short," Tom explained, thinking back to just minutes before when he and Rachel had made the decision. He couldn't be happier, and knew his father would feel the same, with the use of his mother's name. He wished she could have been here for this moment.

"Can I hold her?" Sam asked quietly, sitting down in the chair next to the bed.

"Me next!" Ashley jumped in, stepping closer to Rachel.

"You both can, but you need to be very gentle," Tom took his infant daughter from his wife, kissing Rachel's forehead as he did so. He was so proud of the gallant effort she had put forth in birthing their little bundle of joy.

Rachel watched as the children took turns holding the sleeping baby, and wondered how the next five years of her life would play out. She'd never seen any of this coming, but now, as she watched the scene before her, she couldn't help but wonder what the next five years had in store. If someone had told her that the kiss on the Vyerni would lead to this, she would have laughed out loud and told them they were crazy. But now, as she lay in a hospital bed after giving birth, watching the love of her life with their _three_ children, she couldn't imagine her life playing out any differently. She was so incredibly happy, relaxed, at ease. She wouldn't trade a moment for anything.

Tom caught her glossy eyes over the children's heads, gave her a soft, loving smile. He wanted to keep this moment forever, wanted to live in this euphoric state for the rest of their lives. And somehow, though he knew there would be hard moments along the way, he knew they would. The world was scary, and nothing came easy in this day and age, but he had the four people in this room, and the three in the waiting room. His family. If there was one thing important to Thomas Chandler, it was family. Now above all else.

XXXXX

I have to say, ending this story brings tears to my eyes. I have acknowledgments that will come after the epilogue on Wednesday, but I do need to say thank you to DBos83 (Diana) on Twitter, for allowing me to use Dylan as the name of Kara and Danny's baby. I do sincerely hope they use it on the show!

I cannot believe season 2 is upon us in 7 days! It has been quiet a ride with this little story. Thank you for the reviews, the encouragement, and the favorites and follows. While I am sad to end this story, I am happy to have brought it to an end that seemed fitting. We'll catch up with the clan in the epilogue I already have planned, but I wanted to cover these two most important moments in their lives together. I also left it so I can expand with oneshots on this chapter, or others, while S2 progresses, before I dive into another chapter fic. If you have a oneshot in mind, please let me know, I will definitely be taking suggestions.

Again, thank you for reading and reviewing! I thoroughly enjoyed writing this story for you, as I hope you enjoyed reading it!

Happy #SaveTheWorldSunday, y'all! A week from now we'll be watching the premiere!

Have a great week everyone!


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